Male Depression: Why It's Undiagnosed and What It Looks Like

I concur with Larry.

My husband has been diagnosed as being bipolar and I have read the books and support ideas. I really try but sometimes get so frustrated. I appreciate the fact that he went at all and is getting help. He did that about 3 years ago. He lost his job 1 1/2 years ago, which triggered a good year of major mood swings and depression. He has been under control for a few months now with Depakote and Effexor. I do find that leaving him alone is sometimes best and I do try to help him in nonconfrontational ways. I look forward to reading what all of you have to say on this subject over the next few weeks:)

Peace -
sp

My Son Just lost his best friend,he is not eating or sleeping and he told me he would have killed himself if it was not for me.I feel helpless and I do not know what to do.

I believe that one of the reasons men may go untreated for depression is that they may have tried some of the SSRI medications (Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft, etc.) may have found that there is a very unpleasant sexual side effect. This side effect may be very unpleasant for the partner as well. I suggest trying a drug like Buproprion HCLD...which because it works on both the seratonin and epinephine systems, I have found that for me there is no such side effect.

My husband suffers from depression amongst a couple of other things. It is very difficult for him to deal with this and it has impacted our marriage greatly. He cannot find a job or really even keep one. He snaps at people if things "rub him the wrong way". Grrr! I knew beforehand that he had "issues" and I've tried to be there for him and to be supportive, but sometimes I don't know how strong I can be to keep him "afloat". His morale is down no matter how much a person tries to "boost" him. He is moody, angry, sad, etc. Yes! He does take medication and has done a bit better, but still, it is all very difficult. All I feel I have left to do is pray...male depression is a very serious matter.

I AM A MALE, SINGLE, 46 YEARS OLD, AND I AM DEPRESSED AND I KNOW IT.
IT HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED AND I DO TAKE MEDICATION FOR MY DEPRESSION, BUT AS OF LATE, I HAVE BECOME MORE DEPRESSED RESULTING FROM HEALTH, FRUSTRATION, BOUTS OF CRYING, FEELING LIKE I AM GOING TO DIE SOON, A SENSE OF HELPLESSNESS AND THE NEVER SEEMING ENDING FRUSTRATION OVER FINANCES. I SOLELY LIVE FROM MY DISABILITY INCOME THAT I RECEIVE, AND LIFE AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE IS HARD. NONETHELESS, I HOLD ON TO HOPE, AND MY FAITH IN GOD. THAT IS WHAT KEEPS ME GOING AND STRIVING DAILY.
I PRAY A LOT, AND LATELY CRY ALOT AND I AM ONE WHO NEVER CRIED FOR ANY REASON. NOW IT SEEMS I DON'T NEED A REASON TO SHED TEARS. THE REALEASE OF THE TEARS ARE GOOD AS I BELIEVE IT EASES THE PAIN INSIDE A LITTLE BIT.

I TRY AND KEEP A POSITIVE MENTAL MINDSET AS MUCH AS I CAN, BUT SOME DAYS CAN BE DIFFICULT, AND THE PAINS THAT I AM CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING REGARDING MY HEALTH DOES NOT HELP IN MY CURRENT STATE. THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS MESSAGE ABOUT MALE DEPRESSION, BECAUSE FOR ME IN MY LIFE AT THIS MOMENT IT IS VERY REAL. I HAVE HOPE THAT ONE DAY SOON, THINGS WILL GET BETTER AND THAT I WILL NOT SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION ANYMORE. I PRAY TO GOD ALMIGHTY THAT HE WILL HEAL ME.

THANK YOU!
SGS

Now I know why my husband is acting "so weird" these past few months. He is 54. Last Aug. 5, 2008, he broke/fractured his calcaneous(left foot) and this triggered I think a severe depression on his part. He is so sensitive and gets angry easily. I haven't read anything about male depression until now. I am very grateful for today's featured article. I just hope and pray that he would be able to overcome this negative phase of his life through the loving support of his family. I am able to deal with his depression because of my positive outlook in life since I look at life from all angles. I am 56 and a professor of English in one of the colleges in our community. Thank you and GOD bless.

I really am glad to see the above men are willing to accept the fact of depression. Most men have a hard time admitting it. My guy of 10 years lost his brother, had some health problems and ended up finding a lover and hiding it for 5 months before the guilt finally made him admit it. He went with her, didn't want me anymore and she was 10 years younger than me. Now he realizes that he made a mistake and is depressed again. I love him and am very sad for him, but have a trust problem.
You guys out there, self medication whether with alcohol, drugs, gambling or sex will only make things worse when the newness wears off or the bills come in. Go to the doctor and follow his/her advice and treatment. It will pay off in the long run.
Law.

my brother is suffering depression ever day and doesnt know how to deal with it,he's 9 hours a way from me and i really wish there was something i could do to help him,he feels useless,like he has nothing to live for and some days doesnt even want to go on,i love my brother dearly and dont know what to do,i scared i'll get a phone call that something has happened to him,,sincerly kellie

Well if you do admit depression as a male. What are they going to do about it? Depression is not curable and at best is somewhat treatable. Anti-depressants are 33% effective. That, to me, sounds horrible. Until depression can be successful treated, then there is no use to go through the medical systems. Psychiatrist are worthless and still in the dark ages of treatment. However,mild depression may be treated, but why not just talk to a friend instead? Why go through the bs of psychiatry? They will bleed you dry with their bogus treatments. You may say "wow this guy is bitter or this guy doesn't know what he is talking about." Believe me I've had major depression for 12 years and nothing helps. It's a terrible existence and when you get diagnose with depression it is like a death sentence. So good luck with there bogus treatments. BYE

I had no idea that there are so many males with depression. I am a woman whom had five children, the youngest is 11 and the other children are all grown. I am 45 and I just recently moved to South Texas which is mostly hispanic I speak no spanish. My closest brother just passed away Aug 10, of this year. And three and a half years ago both of my ex's passed away within in 2 days of one another. I was up there running back and forth taking care of them which I didn't mind. I went up to care for the second ex and the first one also fell ill.

But sheesh, you try and try to understand why things happen to one person and you try to stay as strong as you possibly can and yet you still feel very weak. I know there are a lot of people who has problems worse than me but it just makes you think, "why me." I have been remarried for almost three years now and to add to it all...his family has nothing to do with me. They show no comfort in my brother's passing, my husband is working overseas three months at a time and home for thirty days and no one even calls to see if I have recieved any calls from him. It is depressing because I know of know one in this area, his family treats me like I don't exist and I feel like I am all alone on this planet.

I would like to tell that fifty year old man that wrote about his depression and how he has a nine year old. Age is just a number and God willing you will not only see her graduate but get married and see your grandchildren as well. I know everything will be eventually okay, but it seems like a long long road until it actually happens. It does to me anyway. I just dislike feeling so alone and the non-caring and dis-respect I have been recieving around this area. I just find it hard to believe that people are as cold as they are. I feel bad for myself but actually I feel worse for them because of how they are.

I've struggled with depression for years now. When I finally got up the courage to mention it to my doctor, I simply said, "I would like a prescription to prozac." He never asked me why, he just filled out a script. After 6 months I asked him to double it. 6 months lateer I asked for something stronger so he put me on Celexa. We doubled that after about 8 months. After a year I asked for something stronger so he put me on Effexor and this last Spring we upped the dosage on that to 225mg.

He never once asked me what is wrong. I suppose I wouldn't have been able to tell him.

Today I suffer from all of the above symptoms and I have planned my death a hundred different times. (Planning it is all I intend to do; for some reason it comforts me to have an escape plan).

If my doctor were to refer me to a therapist, I might go just to have someone to talk to, but I don't have high expectations for improvement. I WISH I would improve, and I guess I'd be willing to try about anything at least once if there was some promise. But as an earlier post put it, their are associated costs with therapy and that accumlates very quickly... which is rather depressing!

I have always been sad,felt sorry for myself stayed away from my
family had thouthts of sucide i probably would have killed mayself
i was brought up as a catholic. the church did not belive in sucide
and you would go to hell. so that was not a option. i was about 12 yrs
old when this started. I always thought this was the way you were born
and there was nothing i could do about. I am 63 now about 2 years ago
a catastrophic event happen in my life. My wife of 40 years going to
leave me if i did not help. I went to a consuler which i never belived
in consulers just thought they were just out for the money. he helped
understand why i had this problem. He also found out i had severe
depression and sent me to a psych who could give the correct medication
it very important to go to a psych,not your regular doctor. he started
me on lexapro.

the psych started with 10mg to get used to the dosage. i came back every month. he would ask me how i felt. i was better but still had
some depression, he increased my dosage, for about the next six months
i was feeling good about myself. as time went bye i still had some
depression. I go to the pshych every three months. i told the pshych
about this,he started me on a low dose of buperion. i take buperion
in the morning and lexapro at night. i feel like a normal person now
you are always have you sad monents but that's normal. my life has
been 100 percent better. I will always have to take this medicine
i would not have it anyother way

My point is depression is a medical problem and can be treated
with medication. if you have severe depression it can be treated
you will need a good psych because he is the only one who can tell you if you have depression

it is important to be monitored until you have the
correct dosage. now my regular doctor can fill my prescripton.

The timing here is too weird for me not to throw two cents in. Yesterday, Friday, I was on my way to see my psychiatrist. I have been on medication for depression and anxiety for a few years now and it was and is time for my drug cocktail to be tweaked. I have to use public transportation and I only mention that because when I discovered that I did not have my Xanax with me, I was beyond the point of being able to turn around. I needed some Xanax because I felt the anxiety coming. Sometimes it hits and bowls me over, hangs around a few minutes, and then I start to recover.

But when I get a warning that it is coming, it is like comparing a large storm to some showers. About half an hour later I was in the waiting room and felt like I was being beaten. I was bent over in my chair because it hurt too much to try to sit up. I even considered curling up on the floor. This was the worst episode I'd had in a long time and I was moving passed being too macho or embarrassed to curl up on the floor. My doc finally came in and in the position of holding onto my self, grabbing my arms and holding tightly, bent over and not breathing very well I "walked" to his office. The attack had already gone on much longer than usual. I had expected to reach a certain point of exhausting me and then it would leave.

My doc got me to sit up straight, explaining that while bent over, you can't properly move air. And he had me put my hands down flat on his desk. The rational here was that having something hard and firm for my hands to be on would help.

And the craziest thing happened, he was right. Oh, I had several miserable minutes trying to sit up, remember to breathe, and boy, my hands were planted on that desktop. And of course, he and I are trying to converse about how I came to this situation and what had been happening and so forth. Finally my voice started to sound normal and I didn't have to concentrate on the breathing.

Remember now, all this befell me and I had been on the meds for a few years. I reached the point of acceptance of my mental state some time back. And even with meds, and mostly doing the right things, I still can get hit like this.

If any guy reading this that doesn't want to admit their depression, I understand. I was nearly fifty when I finally reached the point where I couldn't deny it anymore. I was not going to have depression because I was me, and I don't do depression; or so I told myself for a lot of years. Now I have to wonder what life might have been like if I had done something, anything in the earlier years? But I was so deep in denial that it just wasn't going to happen, at least that is what I very deeply believed while I was in denial.

Just to wrap up the story, I have a new drug I am trying. The first ten or twelve hours have been okay. Once again, I think we might be on to something.

Richard

My son had chronic headaches and stomache and bowel problems, but we had no clue that he was depressed. Now he's gone...suicide. Men need to learn to swallow their pride and talk about what is really wrong. I miss my son and I cry at some point almost every day. If you have suicidal thoughts or think you are just angry and feel that you just have a negative attitude. Check it out. There is help. Men today put too much on the shelf. It's dangerous to hold too much in. And mixing alcohol with depression leads to suicide. You will be missed more than you may ever know. Don't give up.