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From Group Beyond Blue member Mel:
Dear God,
This feels stupid because…well, if you’re God, you know why. I feel like I’m praying to the Easter Bunny. But, what the heck. I’ll give it a shot. And if you do exist, and heaven exists, then you can’t say I’ve never prayed.
I live my life trying to do all the things your prophets teach…all those things except believe in you. But I give to charity and volunteer and try to be nice and compassionate. Yeah, I’ve treated my body more like a pagan ritualistic temple than the temple you’d prefer. But I’m learning.
I don’t have much to complain about. I have four wonderful animals that all get along living under my roof. My family members are healthy. I have wonderful friends. I have great doctors who have finally given me the support I need and the compassionate explanations I didn’t want to hear.
I can deal with the baby issue…If you’re who they say you are, you’d want me to adopt anyway. “All God’s children…” and all that. Planning on doing that if the time comes. I can deal with my blood pressure being 78/62 this morning and feeling like I have mono. I can deal with the tachycardia that comes with it and have learned to separate that from anxiety attacks. Eh, I can’t stand up right now without fainting. I’ve learned to handle that, too. I guess you want me to sit and observe and think a lot. Trust me, I do.
It would have been cool though, if you would have gotten these doctors into my life a little sooner. So…I’m down with whatever you want to throw at me but can you throw a good doc in my path if it has to deal with my health?
Oh, and one more thing. My husband says he’s an atheist, but I heard him praying as he held my hand in the ER last August. I don’t know if that fixed anything between you two, but thanks for listening.
To read more Beyond Blue, go to www.beliefnet.com/beyondblue, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.
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Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
Meet others on the journey in
Therese’s community group
Ask Therese to be your friend
Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
