One of my very favorite reflections from Henri Nouwen is "Love Deeply," found in his book "The Inner Voice of Love." This beautiful meditation reminds me to continue to love and to be vulnerable enough to receive love, even if it means rising rejection and hurt, even as I feel an emptiness in my soul, a void in my heart, which makes me want to build barriers to keep everyone out. Here it is:
Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply.You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful. It is like a plow that breaks the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into a strong plant. Every time you experience the pain of rejection, absence, or death, you are faced with a choice. You can become bitter and decide not to love again, or you can stand straight in your pain and let the soil on which you stand become richer and more able to give life to new seeds.
The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you. They will become part of your self and thus gradually build a community within you.
Those you have deeply loved become part of you. The longer you live, there will always be more people to be loved by you and to become part of your inner community. The wider your inner community becomes, the more easily you will recognize your own brothers and sisters in the strangers around you. Those who are alive within you will recognize those who are alive around you. The wider the community of your heart, the wider the community around you. Thus the pain of rejection, absence, and death can become fruitful. Yes, as you love deeply the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.
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i believe that in LOVE, there is always a chance that we all take. We either love and find hapiness or hate and find loneliness. We have to take chances that is what life is all about. When we do it with senserity and our hearts are legit we can't go wrong. We built our foundations concrete without that we will find ourselves bilding and building into "right back to nothing". Love comes first from within and increased to without. As you can see love yourself first, then with senserity and all will fall into place. and if with all that said our hearts get broken in the process you can always have yourself and you can never go wrong with that.!!!!!
Excellent theory, once which I beleive is truely relevent to my personal experiences. I share my experience, and encourage others to take the time to give..
I worked with the elderly in nursing homes for many, many years. During my work, I felt a love, equivalent to that of a grandparent towards many of the residents of these nursing facilities.
I feel strongly, and have a personal awareness that these souls will be in my heart forever, during my life time and beyond. I look forward to meeting them again, in another place where I predict that they will welcome me, and be able to express the gratitude, for taking the time, to hold a hand, to calm a soul... The look in their eyes was thanks enough, and profound in nature. A feeling that words cannot describe, perhaps as an angel in disguise.
I took the time, and held many hands. I provided assurance that they were safe, and would be cared for, while watching other staff members, even many nurses, ignore their screams, and walk by... as if they did not exist..
dgd
A man who cheats, after you have given him faithful devotion and love, does not have a good character. The best thing to do is show him he is not worthy of you. Because he isn't; his character is flawed. Don't call. Don't argue or plead with him. Just make a face when you see him, like he is pathetic. Say mhm when he tells you about the other woman. Then say excuse me I' meeting a friend. Walk away. He is an egotist if he needs another woman to build up his ego so she will recognize what a wonderful man he is (isn't) You are too good for him. Stop pining over him, he doesn't deserve you. He has a woman that does not have your good traits or it would't be okay to go with a married man. After a while you will feel superior to him (and you are) and thing he is a drip for acting the way he is (and he is) You are the greatest! Remember that. He is a smuck and a sneaky you know what. Take care and be proud of who you are.
I have learned this the hard way. On my second marriage now and it has been a rough one, when I let myself fully loved I disconnected for fear of being hurt. I noticed this trend of mine about two years ago. I now realize my husband loves me and will never leave me until he goes home to the lord. Even with the sins I have committed he has forgiven me and we are trying to find our love we once had and remember it and rejoice in it.
I had to learn this lesson the hard way. Every time I got to close and started to feel that deep love I would back off and disconnect. I realized this trend after my second marriage. My second husband and I were toegther for a long time before marrying, I thought marriage was the answer and then I found myself in the same spot as my first marrige(diconnecting for fear of them leaving me and hurting me) I know have realized this and life has turned corners and I now realize that my husband loves me and will not leave me and it is ok to be afraid but not let it destroy any happiness I can have.
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