Hey, Therese. Congratulations for transmuting a horrific event and personal and economic stresses into personal growth and growing together. The example you set gives substance to the words you write. Which makes me want to read more, so keep up the great work.

Teachers are fond of saying that we should engage in “life-long-learning.” Isn’t that what this is all about? You reflect on things and grow from them, or barrel on without stopping, and stagnate. It is the bigger picture that often gets lost in our head-long rush to get on with life. I’m still learning that lesson. I have to remind myself to stop and access. It’s so easy to forget.

Dear Therese,
Eric is a smart (and lucky!) man. Everyone’s thinking and rooting for you, and as my favorite Bible saying goes, “This, too, shall pass.”
Keep writing!
Karen

Hi All ~
One of my favorite sayings or all times was one that I discovered shortly after my divorce nearly 8 years ago…”Live simply, so others can simply live.”

HI
My sweet precious husband has been died for almost 2 years. I have found peace again but not without a struggle. You Shall Over Come…
But don’t be afraid to reach out to those who can give you help. Much advice was given to me and I was married for 27 years and I am only 47. My prayers are with you
Mickie

I lost my husband to lung cancer May of 2007. It was a long battle and the Lord was with us all the way. Keep telling your story Chris!!! God Bless You and all you do for Him!
In the Precious Love of Our Lord Jesus,
Vicki Jelinek-Smith

Death is always something that is hard to wrap your head around and when I comes sudden it’s even more difficult. I read the next article on dying and it can be difficult to cope with. I lost my father 25 years ago, just a few days ago was the day of his death. I was 10 years old. It had left an empty hole in my heart for a long time. Wondering what it would have been like if he were still alive, although he would be very old. He was 22 years older than my mom. I helped take care of him along with my mom and sister. I didn’t think he would die. My mom was so optimistic that he would survive. I believed her. My loss is more of a missing out on what could have been. Many people I know haven’t faced that kind of loss yet and are afraid. But for me it has made me a better person. I am glad my mom didn’t hide me away from his illness. I saw it all. I was there when he died at home, we were always at the hospital and I don’t regret any of it. I wish I could remember conversations we had but my memories are like silent movies. When I would dream of my father he never spoke, he would smile and hug me. Now that I am older my father will talk to me in my dreams but I know they are probably words coming from my own mind. I know those are things he never said to me before. Anyway, life is precious and even though I too battle with depression I can see a beautiful side of life. My dreams of my dad are never predictable it happens when it happens and it is great. The dreams are so real it’s like I actually got a visit from him. When people I know are going through the grieving process I wish I could help them get through it quicker but it happens the way it happens. Everyone grieves different. I wish our society was more accepting of death and dying and more willing to talk about it and not fear it so much because it is something we all have in common. If we can face our own mortality than maybe the world would be a better place. We would then see how short life really is and make the most of it. Take Care, God Bless, Cara

Therese, hey I have written to you before and you ( I hope it was you) responded. My experience with death sent me on a path of wonder. My first husband died when I was 21 and in the last semester of nursing school. I was not there when he passed, I know he wanted it that way. I have been there when my patients have passed, sometimes alone and sometimes with their families sitting near the bed. When my husband died, it was “why me?”, “why now?”, I had to take nursing boards the following week. I now say why not me, I had to experience death to learn about life. I pray that you will choose to see that we are not to question God’s purpose in things we experience, just experience His purpose and trust in His oh so mysterious ways. Without faith, we are all just feeling hopelessness in times where we have lessons to be learned. He is never going to leave you alone, trust Him and His plan.

i have lost both of my parents. my daddy when i was in my 20′s and my mom in my 30′s. i have had profound dreams of them that comforted me. I believe this is God speaking thru your loved ones for comfort. i miss them everyday.

Ann — I have to disagree with you on one thing: questioning God.
I think it is not only okay, but a healthy thing. The Scriptures are replete with prophets and saints questioning God’s purposes, and they were none the worse for it. Questioning God why something has happened does not preclude one having faith. It is part of the process.

Wow, I needed to hear about people doing what we are. We have had more abundance tahn we knew with video games, good cars, summer camps and designer coffee, etc. and now we are healing from both being laid off after years of good jobs. I am learning to take the time to apprecaite everyone before they die. I am lucky, my mom is 80, and I am learning to accept her tough love and her old ways, because I know the days are numbered. If they are numbered – for all of us – then we should find joy in the tiniest stuff. So I am doing that, all while cutting out the fluff. Now the four of us (2 daughters, my husn=band and I) …we read, hike, camp, make food instead of going out and we play musical instruments together. And it is all free.

I was a bit surprised by the title of your article;”Dan’s Death Still Teaching Me…” It’s a fact of life that our most traumatic experiences will be the greatest sources of learning, when we allow ourselves to be healed by God. When we hit bottom emotionally and spiritually, we can find that God is right there to take our burdens for us. Unfortunately, it most often takes a painful loss of some sort for any of us to be open to this type of healing and learning. I’m very confident that you will continue to learn many new heart mending things in the years to come.
I lost my very best friend in a car accident in 1990 and I’m still learning new spiritual lessons, as I keep my heart and mind open to the leading of the Holy Spirit. “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” It’s true, so be prepared to learn all that Love will allow.

great article- thank you

I graduated in 1966 also, so this was particularly moving for me. I have faced countless life-threatening surgeries, and 3 nervous breakdowns – but I guess my time isn’t up yet. There are MORE lessons for me to learn, it seems. I TRY to live each day as if it were my last, but with commitments and everyday activities, that becomes harder and harder. I am sorry for your loss, but feel God gave you this lesson for a reason – to share it with those who love you. God’s grace be with you.
Yours in Christ,
SuzanneWA

Hi Therese, I have just finished reading “Dan’s Death Still Teaching Me Lessons: Live Simply.” And I agree with you, I was affected in the same way, when my beloved mother passed away in November of 2008. I came to realize that living simple, having more appreciation for those around me as well as what I already have, and getting rid of unnecessary expenses was healthier and happier. Thanks you so much for sharing….smile…

Therese,
Thank you once again for sharing your heart with all of us. I’m so sorry for your loss, but glad you’re reaping some wisdom from it. I read your first message the morning after I learned that my cousin, who had been like a brother to me, had collapsed suddenly and was in a coma. We prayed our hearts out, but he died on Sunday, and was buried today. The older I get, the more frequent the losses of people I really still think of as young and invincible. It really puts things in perspective. I hope you gain strength from knowing others really are feeling your pain.

Thank you for all of your kind comments! T

I read your comments and was touched. My husband of 50 years died two plus years ago; he was the light of my life. I realized after losing him to pancreatic cancer that there is nothing in life to get upset about, angry about, attach too much importance to–other than love of your loved ones–and that it is so valuable to just enjoy the experience of breathing, which we all take for granted until we are hit. At my age I have lost many–from the youngest I am now the matriarch (astonishin!)–and with each loss, there is strangely enough a personal gain, in appreciation of all that we have that is meaningful in our lives. My husband’s death gave me a gift: I have become the marvelous person that he was, because he in his infinite wisdom always knew what life was really all about. He used to say, “Don’t sweat the small stuff!”
God bless!
SSW

hi! my name is debbie but my friends call me BLUEEYES,I was so amazed out reading about yourself and how your dealing with losing your spouse,im was touched by his last email,I will be praying for you.I Dont have alot friends my 25 yr old daughter past away unexpectly.i was num you could not pick a better to write this she died on VALENTINES DAY! my number(502)366-4896)cell(502)533-3770 best catch me on cellemail is faithnjoy@bellsouth.net.my prayers and thoughts go with you.
sincerely,debbie short

I just lost one of the most dearest brothers I have ever had. He was one of the oldest of 11 kids and I felt him as my second father. He alway inspired me and brought me out of desperation and depression.
Since he was the only one I talked to all the time. He gave me insperation and a worh to keep going.
When he died I thought that would be the worst that would happen to me.
but as he constintenly told Whether God wants him he is ready. Which gave me inspiration for keep furthing going with my life.
When it was time for his funereal I really wanted to go, but I guess life decided for me to stay home. I was hartbroke but after the funeral I feel at comfort since I know know he is in heaven with the rest of the my brothrs and sisters looking after us.
He was a religious man and gave to the fauly. Even though he was strapped most of time he was ready to give money thoughs ideas or whatever a person needed. I believe he hs a angel while living now I am sure he is standing by helping and guiding us to follow the 10 commundments and to follow God’s call.
With all of his inspirations and confidence he gave he others a chance to see themselves for who they were and how to become better christians.
Thank you Eugene for being such a good friend and brother. I will always pray that he will guide me thru the difficulties and tragedies life is giving to us and to how to overcome the adversities and make them more of a great assest to life.
May God give all of my brothers and sisters living and dead the grace to follow thru and help others.
May God bless you all since we know now that God is always near and is helping us out of the various problems we have during the stay on earth.
And may God give to all the blessins and wants that people need to become christians and end up being a apostle to God.
Phil Kramer

WOW!!! I read your story and was touched. I lost my husband to cancer 3 years ago and there are times when it still seems surreal. I have our two children 23 and 13 in age and it certainly has given us a new outlook on life. It’s amazing how death can bring new life and appreciation in so many different ways on so many levels.
We spend our days attached to what is important which is one another and those that we love. Without God at the center, we would have never made it.

I read your story and was touched. My husband of 30years passed away and I have thrown myself into volunteer work. I have found that there are people who have less than me and that makes me thankful every day for what god has given me.
I did lose the light of my life at age 44 but I will use his strenghth to carry me through.
There is a song that tells to live until we die. I am trying to do that with every breathe I take.

I really didn’t think to much about death until my father suddenly passed away last April at the age of 71. He died peacefully in his sleep the day of his birthday. I guess I knew my parents would die someday but thought that I had more time. He lived in Florida and I live in Kentucky so I hadn’t talked to him recently. I was very busy at work the day of his birthday and thought that I would just wait and call him on the weekend. If I could go back in time I would have stopped what I was doing and called him and told him that I loved him. I will never have that time back now. If I have learned anything from this it is do not wait to tell someone that you love them. We are all so busy these days but we have to take the time to spend with our loved ones because we never know what is going to happen. I never used to do this but now I call my mom and tell her I love her for no reason. I either call or text my sons and tell them that I love them. We all need to slow down and appreciate what we have while we have it. I have learned a lot over this past year, thanks to my dad.

I am Dan Meyer’s daughter Eric, and I am so happy to have read your inspiration. I too have been touched by my Dad’s sudden death. (in more ways than one) We only have one life to live and to live without regrets.
Thanks for your post.
Katie