Hmm, sorry if I take this in a different direction, but it hits a bit of a nerve with me because it sounds so much like a past relationship of mine. Personally, living with someone who insists that I throw away my intellectual projects and conform to a standard of order to which I am not constitutionally suited would have a much more negative impact on my moods than the clutter itself. It’s nice living with a fellow “slob” and deciding for my own darn self what level of clutter is good for me. Couldn’t you at least get a room to keep as messy as you durn well please? Isn’t it okay for some of us to just not need our environments to be orderly, or (god forbid) to occasionally even feel enlivened and energized by disorderliness?One of the more difficult things about being the person in a family who has a “diagnosis” is that your way of being gets so easily pathologized. But just because the “healthy” partner is a neatnic doesn’t mean the other one has to shape up for the sake of health. You can trust yourself to know when you are bothered by your own environment. And if the clutter bugs him so much, why isn’t it his job to deal with it? And honestly, I wouldn’t trust those magazine articles. They just want to sell you closet organizers.

Maybe he should help you out a little bit with that clutter. Instead of just whining and throwing things around, he should help you organize things. Sounds to me like your husband is a spoiled brat with a temper he cannot control. Where are the anger management police?

I have been trying to phrase a response for the last 12 hours. I wasn’t really sure what it was that I needed to address until I read the comments above. Clutter, for me as a person with depression, is a vicious cycle. The clutter makes me agitated, but the depression zaps my energy to deal with the clutter, which makes me more depressed and agitated. The vows to do better tomorrow never seem to help until one day I just force myself to do it. Unfortunately, I recently married a man with obsessive compulsive hoarding (ok, my armchair psychology, not a professional diagnosis, but I really should have seen ALL the storage units before I married him) and it has caused me unknown amounts of grief and agitation – not to mention the stress induced hives when I was trying to help him pack to move into our shared home. Like Therese’s husband, I cannot live (fully) with clutter. Therese, I feel your pain, both in trying to deal with the clutter in light of depression and living with someone of a different bent. All I can say is Just Do It an don’t look back.

I really do have a problem with clutter. I just can’t get rid of things that have a reasonable value. Recently I lost about 150 pounds and I am having a serious problem getting rid of my bigger size clothing. Any suggestions? I could give them to someone I know would get use out of them, but the places like Good Will and Salvation Army, just have them made into rags. Now we aren’t talking one of a kind designer things, but nice things with a total value of about $10,000.00, some still with the price tags.

Congrats on the weight lose…and congrats again!! Maybe in your city there is an organization which helps women (entering the work force) with clothing needs. I have found this to be a useful means for “giving up” clothing I might tend to hang on to but not wear again. Just a suggestion.

All relationships that we experience help us to grow.To see ourselves better.Congratulate ourselves for all the great reflections that come our way,we are just here to learn & grow. Be happy with the abundance you have & be happy your overflowing…. let go…share…pass on for someone else will have a smile on there face from your treasures….we have enough to go around… Thanks Judy for info on clothing..Happy New U Year PEACE

I’m a widowed Bi-Polar who has a SERIOUS problem with “clutter,” especially in my spacious bedroom. Every “empty” space has something on it, and I save magazines with just 1 article I’m interested in reading (but never get to), for a year. Needless to say, all the debris and clutter (overstuffed closets included) in “my” space, is a real “turn-off” to my male friends who choose to use the room. I’m totally embarrassed by this situation, and every now and then, take a “clean-up” day and work furiously throwing away all the paper products that are in the room. The other day I was setting up a new phone, and to get to it (behind my stereo), my friend and I accidentally caused an “avalanche” of old papers to descend on the floor – I haven’t dealt with THAT at all…the clutter does not depress me; I live with it, sometimes even see it as my “abundance,” but am very seriously thinking of another “clean-up” very soon. I also have printouts of receipts for online purchases flooding my work space; whenever I see it,I feel overwhelmed. YES, that’s the word – overwhelmed. Part of it is my anxiety about throwing anything away, knowing I may need it later. But I KNOW I have to do better – I will be 59 next month, and feel like I did as a teenager when my Mom would MAKE me clean my room!

I am a lot like Krista. My house use to stay so clean and clutter free. I am married to a slob and also my child by him is a slob. I cannot for the life of me keep up with trying to keep my house clean. It can put you into a state of depression. I also have my dad living with me and taking care of him. He has a lot of medical problems, therefore, I have a lot of paper work and meds. to keep up with for him. I don’t know if I will ever see my house clean again, but I deal with it and I am glad I have them with me.

I know what you mean, I the problem of puting an item in plain sight, only to look away for a second and it is gone. I also have the “I’ll do it tomorrow thinking” I just don’t feel like it, and the next day I don’t have the time. I am wondering If I could just change how I feel, then Maybe I could change. Any ideas on that thought?

I too am a “clutter freak”. It bothers me a great deal and it impacts both my home and my work. I cannot begin to explain how angry I get at myself. But the more angry I get, the less I am able to repair the damage. The clutter both overwhelms and immobilizes me. Does this happen to anyone else?

If you change how you think, it will help change how you feel.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. We.re all made up of different traits,thats what makes us, us. I accept who i am and work on the things i want to change. And try to remember that ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’.

any idea how I change how I feel about something. I have tried writing out what I want to change,ex puting things where they belong, and just can’t seem to put into action. Have I forgotten a step?

Thank you for the good advise, I will try not to be so hard on myself, and remember it has taken me a long time to develope this mess.

I also found it helpful to stop buying things i don,t need,just because their a bargain. Or buying things before i need them e.g. birthday presents. I imagined i was being organised. I’ve definately improved, and feel i will go from strength to strength. Once i started chucking out the important things {the difficult bit} the smaller things were easier. It was very wasteful, but my sanity is more important than a few material things. Good luck.

A good start is…what is my commitment? And perhaps a commitment more that…clear clutter.I recently (last week) moved my office from my basement to the upstairs living room. It took me months to get in action and get it done. I am up and working in the new office…still have some “clutter” downstairs to clean. But my commitment was to move my office…and out of that, alot of cleaning, organizing took place. I say its a work in progress…good luck fellow pack-rats!

I am also a pack-rat and struggle with clutter. I’ve read many books and articles over the years to help me get inspired and ideas of how to deal with it. One thing that I have found helpful is to take one small area at a time to clean; break down a big job into smaller pieces. Then when you get one task done, it gives you a feeling of accomplishment and hopefulness that you will be able to do more. Don’t try to do an overwhelming job in one day. Do a little at a time. Sometimes when you get started on one job, it will give you momentum and inspiration to keep going.

I am in the midst of clearing out clutter and find it does affect me. It’s like a background of ‘to-do’s that carries a weight. I feel more at peace without the distraction. It frees my mind from visually registering what I see and making connections of what to do with that information.Periodically I rearrange furniture etc. reflecting my own inner rearrangement of energy. Taking the first step in both, makes me feel good and when I’m feeling good it fosters taking better care of myself and surroundings.

yes, Nancy Jo exactly

Clutter has been a perpetual problem for me since I was a kid. I have tried to keep everything and much of it has been helpful to me during my teaching career. As a family historian, I always end up with the boxes of papers and newsclippings and letters from elderly deceased relatives. I don’t have to ask anymore – they are just sent to me. Since I retired from teaching two years ago, I have given away all my files of information I gathered over the years – six four drawer filing cabinets worth. When my wife died, I decided to go through the boxes of family information I had collected. I have spent two years sorting, cataloging and organizing this material into notebooks (I have over 250 so far) and have learned so much in the process. I am thoroughly enjoying the work which has now spilled over in to my house itself. I have been cleaning out the closets, redoing the rooms – paint, floors, etc. – redid the kitchen and got rid of half the things we had accumulated; even did the attics. I feel so great about what has been done and look forward to completing the job. I’ve found things I thought about for years but figured they had been lost. I still have quite a way to go but I’m loving it and look forward to the continued challenge. I am just “doing it.”

Are there any books that could be recommended for this type of personal issue? Please help! Love, The Clutter Bug

It’s a daunting task to keep our house clean, but it’s actually not that hard — my experience is to do it just once a week, keeping things where they belong and dusting and vacuum on weekend. My Mom told me doing housechore is just another kind of physical exercises:) To save energy I put receipts and other records in colored folders without doing further organizing until at the end of the year or half year, or just before your tax filing time! Keep only your important personal records; other stuff can be cast-away after reading since we may find it online! Enjoy life.

one thing that helped me was that, when i got laid off 3 years ago, i eventually lost my house, and before i could “go through” all my stuff, it was put out in the driveway. i learned real quick what i could live without. now my stuff i saved has been in storage for 3 years, and i am a roommate in someone else’s house and only have 1 room for my stuff. so when i finally get my own place, i will not have that much stuff again. also, try freecycle.com or craigslist.org and post the clothes you want to give away. i did that for my roommate’s daughter’s expensive clothes that she grew out of, and the single mother that came to get them from my freecycle ad was overjoyed.

commiseratios katlg7 It’s my worse nightmare to be made homeless. But very encouarging to know that not only can one’s dignity can be upheld but also manage to think of others after such a devastating experience. your an inspiration. teresa u.k.

Thank you everyone for all the comments that I can relate to! Even though I have never been homeless, I always dread to think of others finding the clutter in my bedroom, should ,God forbid anything happen to me! I have slowly been trying to pare and purge, paper, clothes and all miscellaneous items, even furniture. Yes it’s a never ending process and you just have to keep going, don’t give up once you start, it does give you a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction only a former packrat, clutterbug fulltime mother/caretaker/grandma/friend can sppreciate!

I can relate to what others are saying. My mother was a saver, my landlady does it, my friend Paul did it,and so do I. Unfortunately, Paul passed away a few years ago, and Max and I had to clean his place out. There was not an inch of floor space. Thousands of dollars of “things”, including lots and lots of books were everywhere. When I see my place with no floor space, it scares me. I am too embarrassed to have visitors. I would like to be neater. In feng shui, it is said that your environment reflects the state of your mind, and that clutter is stagnant energy. I know these things, and yet, it is difficult to throw something away, because it might be useful. I have sometimes bought a second item if I cannot find the first, and know that I have one “somewhere”. I have many crafts and hobbies, so I have many tools and supplies. I feel guilty because of my mess. Tax season is arriving and that means sorting my receipts and getting things in order. I tend to procrastinate. I saw a show on tv where people bared their messes (yikes! How daring!)-and it was said that it is a brain thing. The suggestions I can offer, that sometimes work for me are-when you walk by, put similar things in order. Actually Schedule a half hour a day to sort things. If that is difficult, start with 10 minutes or 15. When you see a space on the floor, it is encouraging. And finally, “do what you know to do.” It makes the guilt of what I am doing more realistic. “Do what I know to do…” Peace.

Wow, I know how you feel. Yup, mu hubby too absolutely hates clutter. I try hard not to “keep junk” but I can’t see throwing out “good” things. Every month I sit down at my clutter piles & I rid 1/2 but still can’t get rid of it all… What do you do? Learn to live with his complaints?!?! I’ve been with my husband 20 years & still he hates clutter & still I can’t get rid of it all. Oh well, we love each other and thats what counts in the end, right?

Well I know I have a slight problem with clutter and I have a boyfriend that grew up with a mom that cleaned hotel rooms at one point and he has picked up the cleanliness which I don’t think is a bad thing. It helps me a little bit actually because I already promised him that I would keep the house clean when I moved in with him later on. Well to go with the one above… I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and he is going to ask me to marry him so I am going to have to get rid of some of the clutter but I don’t have that much of a problem with keeping things neat and clean. I just have a problem getting rid of stuff. I can find space for it just not get rid of it.

I skimmed through these comments and as a SHE (Sidetracked Home Executive), I feel your pain. There is help for those creative people like us who allow clutter to invade our lives causing CHAOS (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome). Yes, I’m using a lot of acronyms. Here’s one more…FLYing…Finally Loving Yourself. You have to do this for yourself and not your dh or kids. This is not about cleaning house, though you start out with this. Go to http://Flylady.net and let Marla Cilley guide you out of the mess. It’s free. Learn to set aside your perfectionism and love yourself. You won’t be sorry!

You are going to lose your husband if you do not listen to what is obviously very important to him. Heavens know I’d dump you if you continued to show this degree of blind rationalization about a serious problem. Trying to flee his totally justified rage and frustration is only compounding the problem. You are being very insensitive to him and his needs. Yes, “Tomorrow” you say. Oh really?? Everyone knows (including you) that you are lying to get people off your back. Get some therapy to help you deal with a problem you are obviously trying to minimize. You are showing only weakness in your article, NO strength, and NO self-awareness (or only self-awareness that has no intention to be used to improve yourself). Aren’t you embarrassed that even your friends are trying to get you to clean up your act?? What your house looks like, I don’t want to imagine. But stop kidding yourself that you don’t really have a problem;your denial is NOT helping you.I know: I’m a meanie who “just doesn’t understaaaaand,” you (and people like you) will whine. Guess what? You have a problem. Quit complaining and get help to keep you from being a slave forever to your obsessive habits. End of story.

Here’s another vote for the Flylady. Dealing with clutter is more than just cleaning it out or organizing it. I was glad to see that Lorrie said to try http://Flylady.net This link has helped me let go of a lot of junk both in my house and in my head. I wish you well.

When i was single 7 years ago, eventhough i thought that i was an organized person, it was then after i married my husband who opened up my eyes to the reality that i really wasn’t that organized at all. He showed me how to organize and how to not excessively shop for stuffs that i don’t really need (a bigtime #1 cause of clutter). My mind became more focused, my budget expanded, and i learned to donate stuffs to the salvation army. One thing that my husband is now failing on, is that he rarely finds now where he has placed or safely kept items that he has organized, ‘coz he’s a busy businessman now (like that’s an honorable excuse, huh!).

Yes, I’m a compulsive clutterer with bi-polar disease. Buy everything when I’m up, paralized by it when I’m down. I’ve tried Flylady, but it’s not my style, couldn’t relate to women with their dh’s & dd’s & dds’s.(dear husbands, daughters & sons). I’m very bohemian and the need to wear lace up shoes and wearing a denim vest just turned me off. And the many e-mails a day just became more clutter. I do like the idea of “you can do anything for 15 minutes though. Set a timer and work for 15 min. Sometimes my task was finished before time, while others I felt like continuing another 15 min or more.I’m doing better, a little bit at a time, more relaxed each time I don’t have a pile falling over for the umpteenth time.Every bit I get rid of and toss or “bless” someone else with is a weight off my shoulders. And freecycle is great for all your trash to someone else’s treasure. And large sized women’s clothes, especially nice ones are really sought after. So, do yourself a favor and give your stuff to somene that needs it! And Jim, are you available? lol. P.S. Sulevia, You sound very sad, Please be a little less harsh when responding to others problems and situations for your sake as well as others.

The books that have helped me the most were by Sandra Felton, especially How Not to Be a Messie (the Ultimate Guide for the Neatness Challenged). She addresses the reasons WHY you hold to the kind of messiness you do, and isn’t pushy. There’s lots of reasons for messiness, and the main ones aren’t sheer laziness. You are among friends with her, and I recommend joining one of her Yahoo groups for support if you like, but it isn’t necessary. Her website is http://www.messies.com/ and her organization is Messies Anonymous. I like her lots better than Flylady, who I felt was condescending and rather rigid in some of her rules (although some people have found her extremely helpful so of course this is only one opinion). This is about finding what works for you: you wouldn’t be posting about it if you didn’t even secretly want to change, and that’s an important first step. Good luck to you!

I’m not a died in the whole messy person but had to adjust when my grandchildren and one great granddaughter moved in with me. With a small duplex I would have driven them and myself crazy to try and keep up with the clutter. Every Saturday I try to get things in their place only to have someone in back of me putting it elsewhere. They will grow up someday and God willing I’ll still be young enough to finally have a cluttler free house. God has awarded me patience, finally!

As one who has fought against clutter all my life, sometimes more successfully than others (Mom was a pack-rat extraordinaire, so I had a first rate education in clutter which I am still trying to overcome), my first thought upon reading this article was “Boy, if I only had half of that 2000 sq foot of space, I might actually have the room to get organized.” Try it in less than 700 sq ft. But then I started reading the comments. Unfortunately the only thing I can think of now, aside from where architect/husband Eric can get some kind of anger management help before he starts physically (not just emotionally) abusing his wife and kids, is that I hope Sulevia has not been lucky enough to have been able impose his/her rigid and ugly attitudes about others and their habits on some unfortunate soul under the guise of a relationship. Marriages, like families and households in general, are a give and take effort. There will always be differences on money management, child rearing, and, of course, the acceptable level of clutter. While it’s important to address issues that cause friction in our lives and relationships, we can’t dictate to others how to live if our dictates only serve to make our significant others miserable or denigrate what may already be low self-esteem from clutter, depression, or any number of other, equally draining, life issues. Clutter and disorganization are certainly problems that should be addressed, but compulsive cleanliness and neatness can be at least as destructive when taken to extreme. My paternal grandmother died a bitter, lonely woman with no friends or acquaintances, and a family who were not welcome in her “home” because the children kept “stepping” off the plastic runners on the carpets, the teenagers wanted to hang out in kitchen, and the adults wouldn’t stay in one of the two chairs that were left uncovered for “company”. As one whose clutter level is considerably more than Eric and his ilk, and considerably less than some of the stories described in these comments, I can only suggest that if your disorganization is making you truly unhappy, try to improve, read articles, get advice, and ask your friends and family for help and suggestions. But do not, under any circumstances, stand for some overbearing, self-serving, nasty, egomaniac telling you that you HAVE to do/change anything. You’re an adult and you’ll do what you need to do when it’s right for you. Oh, and by the way Therese, I guess when you get those complaints from the school about the children’s foul language @*$&!@#$%, I guess you’ll know who to direct the call to.

Understand the conflict and also the difficulty to move “stuff” on. Only other remark is that I hope she doesn’g really move books to the garbage? Appalling when the local library can sell the books as fund raisers or Salvation Army can sell them for $.50 to people who can’t afford new books! virginia aveni

I sometimes think I should give up shopping sales and at the big discount supercenter. I look at my bills each month and I am buying more clothes than I can possibly wear in a week. Also, I seem to buy the same black pair of black pants and shoes over and over again. I think I need to shop to compensate for the emptyness that I feel in my life. Instead of shopping I should be home establishing a routine of cleaning, but then what would I do with a clean house? Maybe I might invite other people over..who knows. It is a private and painful issue, since I do not want anyone to know how I live. I am better than I was. I know now that if it came from Goodwill to begin with then I can turn loose of it and give it back to Goodwill. I also know that one person only needs three or four pots and pans and if I run out, then it is definately time to wash dishes. Sometimes I am paralyzed by the decisions that I must make. Tough decisions such as..What do I do with the stacks of bills that I have already paid. I have a milllion receipts just in case I have to take something back and they are all sitting on my desk at this time. Anyway thanks for the forum, it give me a chance to be honest with myself. I know my faults and my addictions. There is no question that I have lost relationships because of my clutter.

I truly hate housework. I love to paint, and I just don’t seem to have the time because my husband is always nagging me about my housekeeping. We r both uncomfortable. He goes koo koo if I leave a cup on counter! He’s really obsessed, and I truly don’t understand it. He mops floors and vacumns several times daily. Life is too short to be chained to a house!

I am also a “clutterer”, yet I hate clutter! My husband and son are my “clutter police”. I know how you feel!

I have to wonder if clutter is a way of keeping people who don’t respect boundaries away. Generally speaking neat freaks get very uncomfortable when they’re surrounded by clutter. Think back to your childhood. Did you edit your own collections/possessions or did a parent use cleaning as a way to deal with her/his stress? Did your stuff get thrown out because of a parent’s issues? Could it be that cultivating a cluttered house is a way of making that parent respect a boundary – a silent way of saying, “You will NOT rearrange my life to suit yourself again.”
When I was growing up, the only control I had over anything was my room. When I got mad, I rearranged the furniture. As an adult I have found that I do my best cleaning when I am angry. When I’m mad I can throw out things ruthlessly.
Two words caught my eye “Information hoarder.” I tend to keep books and magazines that I’ve read for years. Is this because a parent once threw all of books into the garbage truck as I was going to school (because my grades took a dip)? Or is it because I constantly feel like someone is going to challenge me to prove that I read something and if I have the magazine or book on hand I can point to it and say, “Here it is in black and white.”

For the lady wanting to get rid of her “fat” clothes and for the rest of us also – there is an organization called http://www.freecycle.org where you can post the things you want to get rid of and people will come and pick them up. It’s a wonderful organization. I belong to it and it has helped me get rid of several things. I too am a cluttery person. I need all the help I can get. One more thing – somewhere I heard that we hoard things “for the future because we might need them”. It is one more way for us to fantasize our immortality.

My husband goes on the warpath occasionally about clutter and disorganization. He says we live like pigs! We both operate separate businesses from the home. I do all the housework, cooking, laundry, shopping, cleaning etc. When he goes ballistic and nasty when he cannot find something, I tell him I need help around the house. I never get it. So either he helps around here or else he lives with it.

Having lived with parents who have NO idea how to organize or purge, it amazes them when they come to my house and everything is in order. Does the house get messy at times? Of course, I do not live in a museum. However, I am a very neat person, and I find that having organizational bins and whatnot seriously DOES help. I have clutter… it is just nicely packaged and out of sight. I know that when I come home from work, or wake up in the morning, and see nothing but a mess, my mood is affected. When the house is picked up and tidy, I am a much more relaxed, happy person. If you are a clutter bug, and you are married to a “neatnic” it isnt right for someone to suggest that the neatnic just cleans up YOUR clutter. At the same time, the neatnic can not expect everything to be just so in the house. You need to come to a compromise.

i love to shop and so did my husband; before he passed away march7th. and because of that, all rooms are full and so is the garage and green house. now its become over whelming for me to want to clean it up. i have to get rid of alot of it because i want to sell my place. ive also realized that most of it doesnt mean that much to me anymore. i am older and realize that i just dont need it,anymore. it all, sits there day after day. i did redo my living room and packed up alot of stuff– and sat back and looked at it and felt so very happy. my friend said it looked so much better !!! she told me to start cleaning for 15 minutes aday or when ever you felt like it.so now thats what i try to do. the progress is slow; but things are looking better as times goes on. Being cleaner makes me feel better. plus everything is looking better. plus dirt can make you sick in due time.[breathing in the dust and dirt.] and mold if its moist in certain areas. hope this helps. deb h.

this makes me feel somewhat better. to know there are others out there. i am married with 3 boys and 2 dogs a restaurant and a bowling alley and heavily envolved in boy scouts. we have a busy busy life as does most everyone else. i do have depression that i cope with myself. i do not have time to keep up with house work. i just manage to do dishes,laundry and to vaccum up the dog hair down the hall. i always feel quilty about it and feel quilty about asking for help or hireing
someone. it really is depressing, i don’t know where to start it is overwhelming.

I have read all the previous posts with so much sympathy and empathy. It is ironic that I have spent the better part of today trying to clear out some of my own clutter! I read your thoughts and could just hear myself doing the thinking. The magazines that grow steadily higher because of that one article and they are so expensive too. How can I just throw away a perfectly good magazine? Books..how I love books. I have even been known to crawl into a dumpster to rescue abandoned books. Who do people think they are anyway??? As a child I would do anything for a book. My late husband hated clutter and drove me crazy yelling about this *&#@^ all over the place. It is so much more peaceful now. I love neatness and I strive to have it in my home. It is truly a never ending process. I take care of my 89 year old mother and she has her own bedroom and I can barely walk into it. Clothes are piled in stacks. The huge walk in closet is packed and over flowing. She will get rid of nothing. This does inspire me to rein my clutter in for I can’t stand the mess I see in her bedroom. She literally dares me to touch anything. I, like many of you, will continue to struggle with “things”. God bless you all.

please consider this, when deciding what to get rid of. many people in my area are still living in tents, or blue roofs or damaged homes due to hurricane rita. katrina got most of the attention and most of the funding. we suffered with the tornadoes, winds and rain which rita spewed out, many people did not have insurance, or are still negotiating with insurance as several insurance companies refused to pay up, went bankrupt, or simply stated that certain causes were not covered.
if for the sake of sanity, you may clean out unwanted items & send them to 607 ida bailey rd, leesville la 71446, ATTN: rita cunningham, and i will even give feedback on which local town, family or individual received the items ( send me an email or address)
as redneck hillbilly lore goes,, NOTHING WILL BE WAISTED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

When my husband comments that I have too much clutter, I always say it’s not that I have too much clutter, I just don’t have enough closet space. While this is true, I do tend to not accept that fact and still bring more “stuff” into the house. It is truly overwhelming and mostly frustrating because I don’t know where to put everything. In the past I have donated tons of clothing and other items to Goodwill and the Salvation Army. Somehow, it slowly reappears and I am always amazed. What hurts the most is realizing all the money wasted on these unneccesary items over the years. I need help.

I have found a good way to start lessening clutter: instead of saving the whole magazine or newspaper, simply cut out the article you wish to save and put it in a binder with plastic sleeves. This gives you easy access and you don’t have piles of magazines. You could have separate binders for recipes, craft projects, etc. The piles are MUCH smaller.

Hey! After reading all of these comments, I find myself in with the clutterers, the hoarders, and savers, the artistic, the folks who think about dying and leaving all of the “stuff” behind. I suggest that maybe, just maybe rading the book “Driven to Distraction” may help a lot of you. Believe it or not, it can be tied to (disability?)
of ADD Attention deficit disorder. There are many comorbid things that go along with this and often ADD is made worse in with other conditions – panic attacks, bi-polar disorder, anxiety, depression,hyperactivity, and other conditions people may have. Do, however, be diagnosed and don’t diagnose yourself…I was 61 before I ever found out that was my problem…and it came only after my97 year old mother was in the hospital for over 3 months and I was the only one to care for her. It brought all of this to a head. I couldn’t function, keep focused, had any ambition…It wasn’t that I don’t care, we do, but our brain actually thinks in a non linear fashion.
Most of our sociaety are linear thinkers. It also says that if pople who are linear thinkers were asked to do the thinking in a non linear way, they would be just as confused as those of us who are not. We have our own style of thinking, we are creative, and constant thinkers, our brains are able to super focus and home in one details that others can’t. If you think that this might help you label your problem, try reading the book. It’s not an excuse, but much easier to have a name for this that yo9u have been dealing with all of your life. Setting time limits and doing things in small amounts helps. Using a large calendar to help keep things organized if you ten to forget appointments, and are constantly late, if you keep you m ind going when others are able to keep theirs at rest…all of these things might be indications. This is not an excuse, but just the functioning style of the brain that we don’t know too much about just yet. SO, I advise read the book. There’s also another book, called Adults with Add – it helps you to undertand more about relationships in the work place and clues to help you learn to live with this way of thinking. I hope this helps those of us who need help with cluttering and it also shows how this ADD can affect everyone we come in contacat with – from family, friends, and work.
Good luck to all of those who find solace in this. I am new at it m yself and learning; it’s great to at least give a name to what the problem seems to be, and a reason to show that you are not lazy or crazy -you just have a different way of thinking. Good luck!

I think we are all creatures of clutter to a certain degree. My sister, on the other hand, has been known to throw everything out that comes into the house. She even threw out her husband’s paycheck one time just because she didn’t want the mail sitting around!! So, sometimes, people CAN go overboard.
I have my little piles in different places that seem to grow every now and then. I found a great website that helps you start right where you are and, if you tend to get behind. . you start over. . right where you are.. . without all the guilt of having ‘fallen off the wagon’. The site is Flylady.com. Hope this helps some of the more severe clutterers out there.
Mary in Richmond

I have suffered for years with what I assumed was severe depression.
Recently I have found out that it is in fact,bipolar disorder.I am not
sure how I was directed to this website but it must have been divine
intervention.To see so many people describe symptoms and traits that I
thought only I delt with makes me feel real again.I am not as lonely
as I was when first diagnosed.Don’t get me wrong, I love my family,but
they are clueless.True understanding comes only from those that live with this illness.So,… my clutter is “almost normal”? I can smile
as I write this because I love my clutter and my family hates it.
Now I can own it and be proud of it!THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Clutter is, let’s face it, a small inconvenience in our lives compared to more serious issues going on in the world today. That being said, I hate clutter. Just the thought of trying to tackle the immense task of doing something about it is emotionally draining, it just zaps my energy when I think about or see it. (It’s all around me) My husband is a packrat, pile maker and collector of useless items. My 16 year old son is not as bad but still has some clutter. I get depressed when I have to clean because no matter how much I try there is still clutter to deal with. I don’t know what to do with it, what to toss and what to keep. If I put all of my families junk in boxes they would just leave the boxes laying around. It is so hard to deal with other peoples stuff because they probably, being clutterers, would try to talk me out of getting rid of anything. That to me is more emotionally draining than decluttering. I gave up. If they want to live like we are, buried in their crap, then fine. I’ll just go out.

Who we are and what we are are determined by the life we have chosen to be. If after recognizing yourself in the cluttering category and no actions are taken, remember you are your best friend. Go easy and develop a flexible attitude of yourself as well of others. Don’t expect others to change while you’re not. Out of my 20+ years in life, I finally came to a realization that people will not change if they have made up their mind not wanting to change. Oh well, I still am the most cluttering person ever. After reading all of your posts, I now know what actions I need to take and that’s to start decluttering myself.:)

After reading the comments concerning clutter, I had to post a comment. I too suffer from clutter/hoarding, and the negative feelings/consequences that come with it. I have no one to blame but myself, as I am the hoarder. I also suffer bouts of depression, and sometimes feel that adult ADD is an issue. I find that the physical clutter leads to mental clutter. It becomes a vicious circle, the physical clutter leads me to the depression, which leads me to neglect the clutter, (and consequently cleaning), which takes me back to being depressed, and unmotivated. I have suffered like this most of my life, and have never understood why. I still do not fully “get it”, but knowing that I am not alone gives me hope. I want to thank “Elizabeth” (age61), for the insight of linear, and non-linear thinking. I can really relate to that, and how it ties with the creative/analytical thought processes. I certainly fit this mold to a “T”. I am not saying that I understand it yet, but the picture is definitely getting clearer. Many, many thanks to those who posted links to helpful websites. Today, I at least feel that I may be headed in the right direction. ~Randy~

Your Kidding Me~!! Clutter is Usefull…Very much so….I took my husband to a restaurant in our area…..The Name….Shut up and Eat….
They want you to feel at home…..so when you walk in customers and staff greet you with a Hi…Hello…Good Day…!!! I loved this place in an instant…..When you went to choose a place to sit….it was just like home….miss matched items…chairs table utensils dishes cups….they were all an array of garage sale finds…..The Fridge…was full of magnets…just like mine at home…….and the decor of this place was just about nostalgia and clutter and home and life….I loved it…..Sometimes we try and mask our real natures…We are just like the squirles….horders of stuff….and I would imagine that some people who walk into that restaurant may feel intimidated by the atmosphere…..Because they just don’t understand themselves…..Before we judge what we are…..we must understand why we are what we are…..so In conlusion I must say that I am a recycler…I recycle gifts…clothes….all types of stuff…and I know why I do it…..Cause the landfills are chock full of stuff we discard….we don’t want it or our tastes change….but if we bless those who take in Orphans….then we must bless those who take in others stuff….even if it means The Nasty Four Letter Word …CLUTTER,
These people are angels of mercy….they have been blessed with the wonderful sense of the Universe….for all we are really is Space Clutter….and how would we feel if we were discarded……Don’t feel too bad about your clutter….If one day you have less stuff….maybe you just know more people that can use it and you can give it away little by little, that is what I am doing to reduce my clutter lately….I give it away or consigne it so someone else can get some use out of it…..if you let it go…..someday it may come back to you…..Don’t Cringe!!!

The clutter abounds and grows and multiplies and then grows some more.
I have a memory problem(a legit one that is medically diagnosed). I was cleaning out a kitchen drawer and threw some “junk” oops “Clutter”
away. 2 days later I realized that one of the things I had thrown away was the blades to the new blender that I sitting on my counter.
I am so afraid of throwing something away that I will need and I get so tired of keeping something that I will never need or use. But, how do you know the difference??? If I throw something away, I cannot afford to replace it (I live on a limited income) so, again, I tend to keep something on the chance that I will need it, later. Now, if I could just find…

Another vote for the FlyLady from me! I have never fully embraced the concept (I keep fluttering, as they say) but have tried to follow it for a couple years now. Marla is a jewel who understands the evils of perfectionism when we aren’t perfect creatures. She has lots of pearls of wisdom such as jump in where you are, you are not behind!, that she her understanding of reality is reassuring. Yet she is always there to offer a little cheerleading toward constant improvement. I appreciated the info about ADD and linear thinking. I defintely want to read Driven to Distraction. No, clutter is not the world’s greatest problem, but feng shui and reducing clutter really do help “set you free” and that is not a bad thing for anyone!! I want to have the “things” in my life that I choose, but I don’t want any of them to chain me down so I can’t live my life freely. Nothing I own is worth that! I have tried moving a few things around in feng shui fashion after reading a book about it. I am by no means an expert, but when I moved my desk to a different location in my den, I felt an immediate improvement, and don’t mind sitting there to work as much as I had before. I do believe there is something to it!

People, visit flylady.org for some serious help in making a clutter free home step-by step. The Fly Lady was also depressed and cluttered, so she understands. So many helpful tips for all of us… I’ve been a fan for years, and use her strategies daily. Makes for a much more peaceful house for this artsy word persom and a computer engineer!!

Thanks for your article on clutter, I too am one that finds it hard to let go of things. As I get older, I am learning that I need to get some of the clutter out of my life and make a little space for some new things. One of the articles mentioned a husband and son that were slobs. I am a single mother of an 11 year old boy that follows me around and puts things down in the spots I’m picking them up from. I am junky and try to clean up on the weekends, but I am trying to come up with some different idea for myself to control some of my clutter and get rid of the stuff & things that I have no real significance. I do recycle paper, plastic, and cardboard, so I find myself savings these items in my small apartment all week to take to the recycle facility in my neighborhood on the weekends. I keep all my reading materials in my bed and on the floor beside the couch. I’m looking to make some changes for me. I have truely believe in the phrase “live and let live” because we are all so different. However, I find it impossibel to live by this rule when it comes ot my son.
ACCEPTANCE is the key.

for those who commented that the husband should assist with clearing the clutter:
I’ll be damned if I touch someone else’s mess that they created, let alone touch a woman’s mess no matter how extreme it is.
We know that for men that is dangerous territory; or at least I hope that men realize that.
Let them clear up on there own.
You sleep in the bed you make, messy or clean.
Tough love? Yup?
Anything else is co-depedence; allowing the behavior to continue.

Great comments — I, too, have clutter. At times I think it is a control issue — I keep items especially papers. My husband was a neatnic – he criticized me if the house was not as clean as he thought it should be — why should I work on the gardening? I kept my small clutter at that time and house and he is gone. Divorced but happy, I dealt with my depression and codependency. I also found I had adult ADD, and am trying all kinds of clutter techniques like flylady.com (which sent me 180 messages before I remembered I had signed up), using a microwave timer for 15 minutes to one hour to do specific tasks, and feng shui techniques. I do think we are creative, not wasteful people, but lack organizational skills. I believe too new habits can be made by new behaviors for 30 days. Also throwing a stone (newspaper/magazine) in a lake causes a ripple or change so every effort makes a difference. Good luck to us all!

It helps me to handle clutter if I think of a space ( a drawer, closet, the top of a table etc.) as a manger. When the infant Jesus was born in the world, there was one perfect space filled with light. Other places in the world existed as well which was ok. In the manger there was a new awareness that had come into the world. By thinking about this I can clean/organize just one place and feel good about it. Each place I focus my attention on becomes part of my collections of mangers. Symbolically I feel I am creating peace and love in the world. This is the first time I’ve ever told anyone about this- it works well even if one is not naturally organized.

Like the flylady says, getting rid of clutter is a very emotional thing. The guilt we feel for having spent money on something we don’t use, even if it is in perfectly good condition, if you don’t love it or use it, give it away. Then there’s the guilt of getting rid of something a loved one gave you, even if you hate the object. I could go on and on, but the point is to release yourself from the guilt and let the clutter go. Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley can help guide you. Best Wishes, robin

I too live in clutter. I am always saving things in case someone needs it. I’m the one who is called if someone needs something. because they know I don’t throw things away. Also I’m the one they give things to for other people. I do have to say that I am very proud of myself because I just gave away 5 bags of clothes that I have been hanging on to because someday I will fit into them. I figured that I didn’t wear them in over a year or more someone might as well get some use of them. I am also getting rid of dishes, pots and pans, little what nots. I forget I even have these things. Some of them I’ve never used. Someone might as well put them to good use. I keep thinking of what my kids would have to go through when I’m not here. I don’t think it’s right they would have to go through my junk. As much as I like to help everyone out its time to start getting my life in order.

Wow! You know I have a very serious clutter problem! I’m a knitter and crocheter with a large stash. Also, I’m a very serious packrat. I’m in the process of cleaning my room so that I can manifest my life. Though because I have so much yarn I’m stymied, but I don’t want to give it away. Any suggestions on what to do with the yarn so I can deal with the rest of the clutter?
Meredith

For crafters who have too much. There are a number of local groups and charities (in Rochester and I am sure most communities have them) that collect supplies as donations which are then used to make useful items for the needy. One example, local group collects yarn to make hats, scarves, gloves, mittens, etc. for the homeless in our community. I like it for many reasons – 1. Those extra rolls of yarn are put to use for small projects instead of collecting dust in my “I don’t know what to do with this perfectly fine “enter name of craft supply” pile. 2. I can volunteer to make the crafts so I am doing something I love and helping others and not collecting any more at my house 3. I get friends and family (like my mother who has too much stuff) to do the same. So, check out local groups and see if any of them can use any of the stuff you are holding onto that’s only purpose is I might need it later (remember somebody less fortunate might be able to use it now).

Here’s a suggestion: Pretend you are going to move to a new (smaller) place! Do you really want to give houseroom at your new home to scraps of yarn too small to save or clothes too small to wear? If necessary, actually MOVE! (That’s what I did!)
In my case, I have a problem THROWING THINGS AWAY! I have had yard sales where I gave stuff away so I wouldn’t have to throw it out. It would have taken less time to just call the charity truck!
It is also hard for me to get rid of things that were given to me by people I care about. THEY don’t know and don’t care what happened to the tchotchkes, but as long as I remember who gave it to me I can’t get rid of it.
A solution I found is to give my extra (but still good) stuff to a church. Arts/crafts or school supplies are needed for Sunday School, Bible School, etc. In addition, churches usually have bazaars/yard sales where knicknicks are welcome, and you can give stuff away guilt free knowing it will help support poor and needy people…even your kind and generous friends would approve of passing their gifts on to a “good home”. (NOTE: You can take a photo of the item and make a scrapbook if you want to hang on to the memory without keeping the clutter).
If you are not a church goer, just give the stuff to a nearby church, any denomination is fine (you can check with the pastor first, or watch for flyers for vacation Bible school or bazaars/yard sales).

On my next vacation, I will help you if you will help me! Only a person who lives like this and has this type of clutter understands it, and it is difficult to clean and organize alone, but no one really wants to help. All they want to do is “clean it up”. It takes time to actually go through all this “stuff” and decide what to donate, what to pitch and what to keep, and after you get to the “what to keep” pile, where to keep it so it doesn’t end up back in the same mess it is in. Until the clutter police start picking up my stuff, I know where everything is, then they “help”, and I can’t find a thing. I guess the frustration is in not being able to find things. A bad system is better than no system. I am trying for a garage sale in November to purge things. I have a container of shoes so far. Maybe I will find my dresser by Christmas!

I’m so glad I stumbled across this site this morning! It must have been a sign from above! After reading the posts regarding clutter & bi polar, I recognized myself over & over again. Thought I was the only one who was like that. I really need a LOT of help in this area.
I have so much “STUFF”, you can’t even walk thru my house without tripping on something, piles & piles of stuff everywhere. None of my family wants to visit because the messiness drives them nuts. As far as cleaning, I haven’t washed a floor, vacummed, dusted or washed windows in MONTHS!!!!
These postings have given me hope! Maybe in a few months I can post again…Hopefully having acomplished some decluttering!
Thank you so much for all your wonderful posts & comments.

There is an excellent book and audio tapes written by sisters who call themselves the SLOB SISTERS! The SLOB SISTERS helped my grown daughter clean up her home and I was amazed! She has kept it relatively clean since – although she fights the constant clutter monster. She has discovered no one needs 20 pairs of tweezers, and nail clippers if you simply put the ONE pair of tweezers and ONE pair of nail clippers back where they belong so you can find it the next time you need it! Seems so simple to those of us who don’t hoard but so difficult for her. She had way too much stuff, and no system whatsoever in place. And when she did start to declutter the system she would choose to put into place was something so specific and detailed and time consuming she would never have followed through with it. The SLOB SISTERS talked her talk and she was able to put easy, simple and doable organizational tips into place that she is actually able to follow through and keep things organized. Well, I just wanted to share something that worked for her and that I thought some of you might also find helpful. I think I heard about the SLOB SISTERS on Oprah’s show and then looked up their book on Amazon. You can read about it on Amazon and see if it might work for you too. Good luck and you can do it if you tackle one small corner each week and take the time to put things back away instead of just laying it down helter skelter. It does take longer to put things away in their place but it actually saves so much time in the long run not having to look all over for something and it saves on money as well when you don’t have to repeatedly buy the thing you need. I recently helped myself with all the tupperware and lid storage problem we all have problems with by putting every lid on the tupperwares and giving away the ones that would not fit in my cupboard. For me this worked – now I every container has the lid right on it and when I need it immediately! Same holds true for all my grand children’s sippy cups – all the lids are right on the right cup. Anyway, worked for me and saved some of my sanity when looking for things in my cupboard. I also don’t purchase anything new unless I have gotten rid of something in its place – so I still have enough room for the items.

Theresa, I know what you are going through with clutter, I use to keep a clean house,when I was a stay at home mom, and just babysat. Then when I got an outside job, the clutter really started. I don’t know where to begin to get rid of it. I am a widow now of 2 yrs and it makes it more diffucult. Be thankful you have someone to help you see the clutter. I have been told, to take pictures of the clutter and then take action.
May God Bless you, for your website again.
Deb

After reading this, I must go and get control over the pantry shelf where I have too many paper goods precariously balanced and stuff sort of jammed in after hasty cleanup from entertaining recently.
I like the suggestion to pretend you are moving to a smaller place. I didn’t have to pretend – 20 years ago I lived in an 8 room Cape Cod and now live in a one bedroom apartment. Downsizing was a major problem for me but I have changed my thinking. And therefore, my actions. I still need to stay on top of it but I am working on it gradually but steadily. For the many medicines and vitamens,I use gallon size zip lock bags – one for my medicines, one for my husband’s. I bought 7 day pill dispensers – three for my husband and two for me. I fill them once a week and at that time combine any bottles – put aside anything I have a question about or that needs to be refilled. The dispensors are labled morning, night and bedtime or morning and bedtime which are the times we take our medicines. When I had my house, I had over 1,000 books. I now have seven book cases. I have room in each one to add and I am more selective about what I keep. The library that I would leave as a legacy to my children and grandchildren is what determines the books that we keep. Also I have a shelf of professional manuals for my legal, secretarial and writing. I no longer have 32 cookbooks. My sister and I picked out the main recipes that we use from our family and friends and put together a 55 page family cookbook which we gave as gifts to friends and family many years ago. I am in the process of revising it with recipes of our grown children and if I “get on the stick” it will be a gift this year for all. (I have them bound at OfficeMax or Staples) Magazines are recycled to neighbors, friends and family. If articles are to be saved, they go in a folder and are kept for a certain amount of time and sent to those intended or saved but I am more selective. Newspapers, except for the coupons I send to my friend for the servicemen and for shopping, any pertinent community activities, obituaries or articles about or for friends, Parage magazine unitl it is read. They are taken out within 24 hours. Clothing is donated or given away if it doesn’t fit or hasn’t been worn in a long time. I only keep what I can fit in my closet. Shoes are no longer 20 pair. There are eight pairs of shoes, boots and slippers. A file cabinet, expandable accordian folders for stuff that must be saved from past years and manila folders are still in the workings to perfection(?) I somehow got rid of hefty bags of papers that I really didn’t need. I feel freer and make better use of things as I keep freeing myself but it is an ongoing effort. I go through AND THROW OUT junk mail and delete my e-mails daily. When I have things I am not sure of, I hold on to them or leave the mails fo a week or so. I bought a decent pocket planner, a financial planner, a card organizer and a rolodex which I find it is much more pleasurable to keep track of things with the organizers I like that work for me. I hope some of these suggestions are helpful to others – it has only been in recent years that I have been able to see real progress in this. Still have a ways to go but I am now encouraged and hope you will be too.

I used to have a plaque on my desk at school which proclaimed that “A clcluttered desk is a sign of an uncluttered mind” I think the number one rule has to be that what is “clutter to one person is absolutely NECESSARY to someone else. there is DANGER in trying to unclutter someone else’s belongings. If I can find everything I need, it’s working for ME,and since you don’thave to live or work in “MY”space, you haven’t the right to dictaste it’s organization (oR VICE VERSA) I think you must find a happy medium for shared spaces, but even within a marriage, each person needs at least SOME private areas (drawers, desks, closets, etc.)where they can hoard to their heart’s content! don’t forget about those individuals who occasionally make the news or appear on Antique Roadshow with that mint conditon Micky mantle first edition baseball card or whatever which they’ve stumbled upon in a box it the attic or whatever. (One man’s trash….”) Unless it’s totally EXTREME(i.e. unhealthy or a fire trap), I think we should live and let live. We have ENOUGH trouble organizing our thoughts. how can we be expected to organize our belongings at the same time? And which should have a higher priority? ANOTHER personal decision!)

Funny you should mention the Clutter Police. I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Type 2 after 34 years of depressions. In one of my slightly hypomanic states a few weeks ago, I sorted, tossed out, recycled,and got down to bare essentials every closet, drawer, cabinet,and floor space in our 900 square foot condo.
My initial rationale was to gather things for my sister’s garage sale, but the sale isn’t until May! Then I said, “Oh, it is time for spring cleaning.” It is amazing how I can always rationalize my superenergetic frenzied/hypomanic states as the end result really does improve things. One of the downsides is I did break a few things as I sped through the kitchen.
It felt so good to ask the question, “Have I used this in the last year?”, over and over. That process channeled my comorbid obsessive compulsive behaviors. My husband was tolerant until I started messing with “his areas and his things”. I did back off but often convinced him thatthe process could benefit him by just organizing his stuff to look more tidy. The only thing I bought for the whole overhaul was a clothes tree for him to hang his “they aren’t dirty and I will wear them again ” clothes on instead of piling them around the bedroom.
Now I really like how peaceful and uncluttered the spaces look. I sit around and read more in our lovely to look at living room, listen to music in my office and kitchen from the little portable CD players I found, and can really find things I do use. It was fun to be reminded of some of them and where I got them.
A good suggestion came from a friend who recently did the same thing. She took photos of the precious memorabilia she was holding on to even though they had no function or cluttered up her space. That way she can look at the photos and still bring back the fond menories of who gave the item to her or where she was when she bought it, etc.
Another tactic I have used it to save the items which are in really good condition and regift them to friends and relatives. Of course, one has to be careful not to regift a gift back to the original giver. That is really embarrassing!
It is only since my recent diagnosis that I have seen that these frenzies are really close to hypomania. I am better able after all my research and support groups to watch my sleep and up my outside exercise to make sure I don’t get too high with the potential super low that can follow.
PS. I really do connect with your topics and appreciate your willingness to share.
Have a happy spring,
Catherine Brooks of Northern Virginia

Hi all is nice to know im not alone in the “pile” mania. I moved into my parents home a few years back and o my goodness, not only was mom a pack rat tada so was dad. I am overwhelmed and a friend said, why not take one or two bags out of the area each garbage day? well i thought that was a great idea and now would like to pass it on to you. Another thing I have started to do is post on a free site in my area things I think I could sell, even for a minimum it has gone to a nice home, I have a couple dollars, and i know it went to use somewhere.

Therese,
What a joy to learn that one can have a sense of humor about their mess. Thanks for that, another Therese!

:O I want to read your husband’s senior project. I would love to see how Myers-Briggs can influence workstation setup!

I am not one to promote sites, but I would urge anyone who is dealing with clutter problems to check out Flylady.net. It is a free site, and Flylady Marla is a delight. Great sense of humor, and shares freely her solutions to handling clutter fifteen minutes at a time. She also shares her personal journey to finding joy and peace after many years of frustration, bad relationships, and mental issues. Members share their stories and triumphs. It is the only directive I have ever been able to follow regarding clutter and organization, because we are told exactly what to do. No generalities, and Marla is so funny, and helpful in a no-nonsense way. Check her out. I have been a member for many years, and as a first class pack rat who has moved more times than is practically possible, (about 100) I have continued to benefit from her help. Elaine

I’m a saver, collector, pack rat…whatever you want to call me !!My husband is also, very sentimental about his things.
My Father, his Brother and their Mother all had the same habit and problem. I never thought about this kind of behaviour being hereditary
before..I’m a Heart Transplant Recipient for 8 years, I’ve been really worried that I’m not going to have enough time to clean up my clutter..and people will go through my stuff and just wonder why I had so much of it?.The other part of me-Libra- wants everything organized and neat,so I’m constantly battling with “me” for procrastinating. I want to have it all gone and in proper order, before my body rejects my new heart, it could happen anytime…
It really has been bothering me, and somewhere in my brain, possibly, I’m thinking that I’m not getting rid of my collections & stuff, so that maybe I won’t die until I do get it done…?? Does that make any sense to anyone OR am I totatly crazy?? I don’t drive, so I can not take it anywhere by myself, my husband works, during the day. Any one got an idea for me ??

My comment/suggestion is for the heart recipient… I think that there is Something to “be careful what you wish for, You might just get it”. With that in mind, my suggestion is to be thankful for the donor/family who donated the heart, and to honor them, and for yourself make your space as neat as possible, and consider the de-cluttering as a process, not the end point. I am a pack-rat/clutterbug of the first water. I am takeing notes as I write this…

To heart transplant: I understand your thinking that you won’t die until it is done. I think the same sometimes. I have heard of times in the past when someone I knew died and it was said, ” Oh, she or he must have known that they were going to die b/c they had everything in order” or she had her life insurance policy out on the table(no one in her family knew that she had a policy). Those are things that I sometimes think of when I think of the “end” of decluttering my space. Anyone have suggestions on how to get over this kind of thinking.

To Jan Angel Heart (and blm)
Stop thinking of de-cluttering as something you have to do before you die, so that other people will have an easier time of disposing of your “useless” ( definitely to you Then, as they probably are to you NOW!)items. Eventually, you’ll die whether you get it done or not. It’s not about when you die, it’s about how you live! Start today by spending one hour getting rid of things because YOU don’t want them anymore. Do the same thing tomorrow, and the next day and the next, so that you are living in space that contains what you need and want and enjoy. If you have friends or relatives who will appreciate your collectibles, start giving them away as gifts, so that you can see them enjoyed while you are still here. De-cluttering becomes a part of your life, then, not something you do to prepare for death. As for disposing of things, there are always charities that will pick up donations, and an hour a day of junk removal should result in small enough garbage bags for your husband to take to the trash at night. You have been the beneficiary of a very generous act. Think of de-cluttering as returning the favor.
To the “Clutter Police” author- I used to call my husband Felix Unger. I’m not as bad as Oscar Madison, but a friend once described my husband’s garage as neater than his (the friend’s) living room… He died suddenly 8 years ago, leaving his socks in alphabetical order, and business affairs (his, thank God I always took care of our personal finances!) in a state that took two years to straighten out. So, it seems, some of us function at different levels of managing our lives. I always thought I functioned disorganized, but some of his ideas did rub off, and I find now that I de-clutter almost automatically, and it is a good thing to do

To Jan Angel Heart. You are very fortunate to have your new heart for as long as you have. If you take very good care of yourself that heart will last a very long time. I have my heart that God designed me with and it’s still working fine. But, when it doesn’t work fine and God calls me to His home, I look forward to going and I won’t worry about what I have left behind. So, if I don’t get all of my clutter organized before I go, someone else can deal with it. I’m not saying don’t de-clutter, absolutely de-clutter and organize your life. Once you and I have organized our lives we won’t worry, and be stressed about our clutter. Because…..it will be under control. And, I believe you’ll feel better and less worried about your heart. I wish you well and you have motivated me to de-clutter and get organized with my life. Thanks for your help.

I don’t know what I’d do without Freecyle. Part of the reason I’ve hung on to stuff is because it means enough that I don’t want to see it in the trash, even if I don’t use it anymore. Knowing my junk might be getting used by other people makes it easier to get rid of.

I love this sharing. As a woman afflicted with the Clutter Gene, I can certainly relate. My only bragging rights comes from the fact that my two elder sisters can afford to pay for storage units, so I may only APPEAR to be the worst of three.
Any pride that provides me is quickly plucked away as I face the fact — as lowest wage-earner throughout life, I should logically BE the least cluttered.
We bemoan that our combined messiness prevents my two elderly sisters and I from allieviating the (pinch) cost of living separately and ache of personal loneliness as women whose nests emptied nearly half a lifetime ago. If we could give up our “baggage” we might be able to make things easier for each one, joining forces and getting a place to share.
Unfortunately, none of us can spare the personal space to accommodate another.
Under extreme “end-of-the-line” type stress, I’ve gotten rid of half my collections; I’ve seen my sisters cut back impressively a number of times over the years, but alas! It seems as if spaces available are fewer and less managable than ever. Tsk-tsk, indeed.

In 2002, before an increasing disability related to Multiple Sclerosis, rendered me incapable of properly caring for a home with lots of things, I decided the time had come to downsize my digs. I prepared to sell my house by first “decluttering” it. Much of the clutter had become invisible to me. I had a household good sale but before the sale, I selected some of my favorite items that I no longer needed and gave them to Friends. The household goods sale came and went and netted me a tidy, if smaller than expected sum. In the end, what brought me the most joy was giving away those things. In retrospect, I wish I could have given away all of my stuff! … Afterwards, I realized all that stuff was sucking the Life out of me. I’m now much better off, though old habits die hard and I have to stay vigilant lest I again become clutter bound. – John

Jan Angel Heart,
Your article had my husband and I in stitches, I was almost rolling on the floor my glasses and eyeballs were fogging up, we were laughing so hard.
He’s kinda like you and could’nt care, as long as it’s clean, me I’m the everything in it’s place kinda’ gal, but lately everything is everywhere. And I need to get busy declutttering, too.I’m about to have a yard sale, and believe me I need one. I’ve been pretty much bed ridden for the last 25 years. Then a miracle and in the last two years I started walking again and I have a life back.
But don’t let it take up too much of your life have fun and enjoy the beautiful day God gave you.
God Bless, Arnie

I can completely relate~~ My husband sounds exactly the same as yours, and I am your long, lost sister. I forwarded this to my friends and found that we aren’t alone either! Although I am getting better, I am a total natural-born slob and even though my silverware is organized by type–spoons, forks and knives separated…they are not all facing the right direction or stacked ‘right’. This drives him crazy about me…so he calms down a bit and I have learned to take the extra second or two to make things a little neater! Your article makes me feel better, since I know I am not alone in my struggles!
Ally

How do you go to Freecyle’s website? I tried and it is not easy to navigate, at least, what I’m coming up with for it.
Thanks!

I read about the one lady who’s sisters have storage and she doesn’t … and hope she can read this … Be thankful that you DON’T have storage!! What are these for?? Is ANYTHING in them REALLY necessary to keep?? I have had up to FIVE external storage areas and only find each one an increasing BURDEN of CLUTTER … I have eliminated TWO so far, and each time is like a wonderful breath of spring wafting over me!! What do I need that STUFF for anyway??!! I haven’t figured that out, so it’s all GOING!! Of course, I claim the right to sort through it and EXCHANGE things that I currently have in my small apartment for something else that brings me greater joy. But there is NO JOY in living amongst piles of STUFF that are overwhelming!

Oh, I think I am beyond cluttered. My house is a train wreck. It is so bad that I am too embarrassed to hire someone to clean it up for me. I keep telling myself that I’ll at least get the millions of papers off the floor but that doesn’t seem to happen. I do agree with your husband and see the toll this MESS is taking on my already fragile frame of mind. {{{{sigh}}}}
It is down to picking up at least one piece of paper each time I pass a pile and putting it into a trash bag. arghghghghg

I’m afraid I’m Eric-like. A cluttered space drives me literally insane. I need a living and work space that is streamlined, neat, clean and attractive. Especially if it’s a space i’m going to spend many hours of my long day in. I have 5 kids at home. We have a chores chart on the fridge. They know if mama ain’t happy ain’t noooooobody happy. So my house stays basically clean and neat. We do a thorough clean every saturday and pick up chores each day. I know, I’m probably developing neurotic kids. So far, only one keeps their room neat….the others are slobs in their own space. I can only say, do what works for you. Find a happy medium. Keep your clutter confined to your space and try ton keep things divided. Good Luck!
Lisa

I used to be neat. I always wanted things to be in their proper place. I would freak out if somebody messes things up and of course it would ruin my day and relationships get hurt. Now i learned to break free from this obsessive compulsive attitude. Relationships are better than keepings things in order. Now i have a pile of clutter here and there but i am happy. I know i can always have one day at a time and keep things in order. what’s important is i’m happier now, i feel i have more freedom. It’s true though that we should not keep (hoard) things. There’s always Goodwill and Salvation Army. If you have not used an object in 2 years, give it away or get rid of it. You’ll feel better, you’ll have more space. The more things you see around the more cluttered your mind gets too.

I have a daughter(37 years old) with grandaughter (12 years old)that have a 2 br 1 ba home that they own….they do not pick up or clean up behind themselves…can’t walk in the girls bedroom, so overwhelmed with games etc…I have personally cleaned it 2 x and thrown everything out…but it is back to where it was…daughter works 7-4 daily but does nothing in the afternoons or weekends…she is traumatized with tv, records everything that she wants to watch two weeks in advance…
how can I get these two girls to clean up the house and keep it clean? she won’t allow me or friends over cause the house is always a total mess…dishes in the kitchen for days…yes she has a dishwasher…help…I have talked with her many times about the way she keeps her house and how it could effect her daughter when she grows up but nothing seems to work…I am really concerned help!!!
Mom in distress

There is a whole industry waiting out there to help you when you are ready. And that is the whole point, when you are ready. I know that a person in your situation will need guidance in clearing the clutter and developing systems and habits to keep it from happening again. Books are great, but you need a more indiviualized approach. Don’t beat yourself up, but eventually you will need to face the music before it gets truely out of hand. Check out http://www.napo.net (NAPO – National Association of Professional Organizers) when you are ready for action! If you are in the Southern California area, look me up! You can post about your journey in to clutterless or a less cluttered living.

From a 1200-square apartment to an 800-square apartment with a roommate:
Clutter carries all of these hidden messages, like clean me, that seem to bog down the living environment. Rather than think of playing a game, I regret how much clutter inandates me with tasks. Books, t-shirts, binders, high school/college/grad school notes, stuffed animals take on these symbolic manifestations of comfort after feeling like I need to stay close to apart of me. What I realize was that at one point in my life, I was told that I couldn’t keep spending money on school supplies, etc.
I did a major purge when full of energy one night (due to anxiety over V-day/anniversary plans with my boyfriend), and I have not missed these items since. The great thing was that I was able to consolidate sporadic piles where previous items could not be found and created an elimination system of pragmatism. I had more than I realized! Then, the definition became what *current* projects do these binders fit? If they did not fit anything: out. They’ll go to someone at Goodwill who needs them more than me.
I kept finding myself tripping over items of significance. What to do with all those mixed messages that say we cannot throw out our last gift from a now-deceased grandparent? I found that with the clutter gone, it made more room for items of significance -trinkets. It’s still a work in progress, but I feel more like the space is my own than how other’s define it.
Good luck, clutter bugs! I’m right there with you!

It’s only stuff and to my mind stuff should not effect your inner peace. I have been fighting my urges to be perfectly organized all my life . It is something I dislike about myself. I like my stuff and I am now learning that I do not have to be perfect in anyway I do not want to be. I am just fine the way I am.

My 3rd grade teacher once said, “A messy desk indicates a messy mind.” I looked at my desk – right – a “messy mind.” I would turn into a crazy person with no respect for my “things.” I’m 61 now, and STILL have a VERY cluttered house. I’m afraid for anyone to SEE my bedroom – I know where things are, but no one else can make heads or tails of it. I also know that “clutter” is not healthy, mentally or physically, for me. But – every time I do a “spring cleaning” – with outside help, within a week, it’s back to it’s old self. Guess I’ll just have to live with it – at least, I live ALONE!!

What are we hiding from or trying to cover-up? Why do we let these “things” control our lives and steal our peace? I’ve always wanted to ask these questions but have been ashamed to ask.

#1 I am 73 years old. #2 I still work full time. #3 I am totaly organized @ work. My house is totally caotic. Other than a husband who is a collector of things I can’t figure out why I can’t keep up with the clutter. Help!

If this is all you have to worry about then I want your life. Pick your battles. This is minor compared to what could be going on…count your blessings people and don’t sweat the small stuff.. Some clutter is collectibles. I collect antiques. he calls them clutter. He has nothing he saves, I have stuff…sooo? Life is too short to take things this seriously. I remind my honey of that all of the time…enjoy your moments.

hmmm, our situations are soooo similar. Maybe our husbands are twins
If Jesus comes to gather us in His Arms today, He will care more about what’s in our hearts, than if everything else is put away, organized, and neat.

I used to clean house every Saturday and put everything away, but after marrying a pack rat, and having back surgery, I litterly gave up on trying to keep a clean house. Not to mention I have a business in my home. Paper and bills pile up in living room cause I really don’t have an office and that is where the computer is. The workshop room doesn’t have room for paperwork! So I keep saying we need a bigger house it’s only 920 sq ft. But in this economy and having lost my full time job last year, I don’t see that happening. I’m slowing trying to clean up, but I get overwhelmed easily. Doesn’t help when hubby gets mad looking for things he can’t find, he threatens to put it all on the bon fire pit and burn everything! Lord grant me the serenity to …….

I am living with a woman who has this problem. I am the one with the problem. She likes it. I think that it is based on fear. When I moved a shoulder high pile of stuff away from a wall where the window had been covered she did not like it because then somebody could come through the windows. When I am throwing out trash she goes through the trash bag and pulls stuff back out and then we have to argue whether it is trash or treasure. We don’t have children or know anybody who does, but today I put two tiny shirts that have been soiled on the garage floor for some time in a garbage bag. I have picked them up several times in the past and dutifully placed them back on top of a pile but they keep making there way to the floor and get stepped on. She pulled them out and argued that somebody would need them. I asked her why she was keeping them for herself when there are children who need them. The tiny soiled shirts are now on a more prestigious pile inside. I am embarresed for anybody to see how we live, because we live in a bunch of trash and there are paths through the trash. It looks trashy. If it walks like duck and talks like a duck; then we live like white trash. I think I’m gonna have to kick her to the curb.

I too used to have clutter everywhere, then I found a web site that dealt with clutter 15 minutes at a time. Its called FLYLADY.NET Its free and has really helped me to not feel so overwhelmed. Her philosiphy is “your house didn’t get this way over night so 15 minutes at a time will get it back.” She deals in “baby steps” Hope this gives you a place to start…

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after reading most (so many!) of the above comments from the years you posted this, i have to say that with my depression, which is so closely linked to my CFS, that one day i’ll walk into, say, the kitchen, or the den, and “SEE” all the clutter, and the next day won’t see it at all. i noticed a funny thing one day in my pharmacy. for some reason, nearly every bottle on one wall was “X’d” in bright pink. they stood out at me like an army. the next time, never even looked. but now, see the difference? what makes you see things one way one day, and totally different the next? the only suggestion i can give you Therese, for now, is have someone in your life buy you a Kindle for your birthday, Christmas, anniversary, well, you get the idea! good luck, and tell Eric to help you by building shelves for those items. all my best, b

I don’t see much clutter in those pics – but a life with personality ! However would LURVE a Myers-Briggs work station! Getting rid of some old desks now to make way for it

So what kind of work station is best for an INTJ? I’m dying to know!