Beyond Blue

Depression Happens to Successful People

Tuesday June 30, 2009

Categories: Mental Health

Rhonda and dad.jpeg
One of the myths surrounding mental illness is that it escapes successful people ... that the poor, weak, and ambition-free folks are the ones waiting for their prescriptions at Rite-Aid.

I know better. Because I've seen so many of my successful friends fall into the Black Hole unable to surface to light on their own. I've read the biographies of Abraham Lincoln and Art Buchwald, Jane Pauley and William Styron, and I know there was never anything weak about them.

I try to highlight the stories of successful depressives whenever I find them because I know that we need that boost of confidence ... to be reminded that our illness has nothing to do with our skills in the workplace, or our desire to accomplish great things. We just have some interesting brain wiring that takes some time and energy to figure out.

Rhonda Rowland, former medical correspondent for CNN, writes a great blog post about depression and successful people on the very cool website that she and co-founder Diana Keough launched this month called Medical Mommas. She describes the first moment her dad came to terms with his depression. Writes Rowland:

I remember the moment well. My phone rang at 9 a.m. sharp on a Saturday morning in 2002, as if my dad had been watching the clock, waiting to call.

The first words out of his mouth were: "Your mother told me about a story you're working on about some executives." He and my mom lived in Florida. At that time, my dad owned his own luxury home building business in the southwest part of the state but was beginning to phase himself out of it, in preparation for retirement. When he called, I lived in Atlanta and worked at CNN.

Yes, I was working on a story about my boss, Tom Johnson, former CEO and president of CNN. Tom and another prominent Atlanta businessman, J.B. Fuqua had recently gone public with a secret they shared: both battled severe depression.
In the story, I described their secret lives - important meetings cancelled at the last minute, lights out in their offices so they could sleep or hide, cowering in the corner and crying like a baby. These men, who appeared to hold the world in their hands, were enveloped in a deep darkness that stole their self-esteem and self worth.
Depression.

"I think I might have that," my dad said, matter of fact.

I could hardly breathe. What?! My dad is always happy. He has everything together. He's our family's patriarch. He's the go-to guy when any of us have a problem. He always listens and always has a solution. I was incredulous! How could I have missed this in my own father?

A moment later, my dad started speaking, letting his secret spill out. He told me he was in a very, very dark place and didn't know how to find his way out. I could hear the fear in his voice. Until this moment he hadn't told anyone and I could almost feel his relief as he talked. He spoke as if he was talking about someone else. A stranger.
What I did next, was what I tended to do when I was reporting stories: I tried to put my feelings in a box. It was too painful to think this was happening to my dad. He needed help and needed it fast.

You need to visit Rhonda's blog to read the rest, but what a great service she and Diana do to reach out to other successful depressives and tell them that they are not alone.

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Comments
SuzanneWA
July 2, 2009 6:34 PM

I was the one who left the above post! Sorry for not putting my name on it; I get confused when the Chapta shows up!

ana
July 5, 2009 7:29 PM

i suffer from Eating desorder ( form of depression) for over 17 th years. I truly belive that once i stoped being bulimic my seratonin level couldn reach higher but feeling desperat,empty, sad and anxaety icluding social phobia etc was horable. @ years ago i lost apt. no job and heartbroken..No familly memebers and closest friends were not in NYC any longer( all moved back to europe)
You see noone didn t know my secret and struglle to fight Bulimia and depresion..when i reached out for help and opened up myself to some people i thought they are my friends i was rejected evan worst ocused..Was horable time of my life of lonilenes and not being understood.
I want to tell all people who feel depression in any form that that s true and serious think and to saty away from people they will ocused them and telling that all is in our heads to snap out of it.
Susicidal think is not an answer but to try to seek profesional help and try to get to the group where we all can get suport and feel that we belong
Thank you and all best
Ana

ilibertyi
July 21, 2009 12:02 PM

Whenever I share with someone who's working with a family member with depression that I'm bipolar, they always say, "yeah, but you're functioning". I've held down a teaching job for 17 years. I haven't always functioned well, but yes, I'm functioning. That could be the definition of a "successful depressive" - one who's "functioning". funny, I always thought words like "functioning" and "sufficient" weren't enough, but now I've learned that good enough sometimes is just good enough.

Your Name
July 22, 2009 5:05 AM

I'm not for sure when I became depressed, it was always there, as far back as I can remember. It's like a shadow, present all the time. I have worked on myself all of my life. If... if only I could be this way or that, always trying to fix it, what ever "it" may be on any certain day. I love "ilibertyy" remark, "functioning," Oh, yes and no one knows. No one knows tht all I want is it to be my turn to go to heaven and not hurt anyone else with my pain or feel the pain anymore. This must be the devils work. God wouldn't do this to His childern

BJ
July 22, 2009 9:22 PM

I am currently in the midst of my 5th or 6th or 7th (I can't recall) major depressive episode. I am not bipolar but was just diagnosed with serious major depression. First time hospitalized. "Functioning"? Yes, I guess I used to be. Other things become less important when you are fighting for your life. That's something I don't think most people believe or understand: that you truly are fighting for your life.

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