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On Mindful Monday, my readers and I practice the art of pausing, TRYING to be still, or considering, ever so briefly, the big picture. We’re hoping this soul time will provide enough peace of mind to get us through the week!
I’ve always wanted a wife: a person responsible for making piles of laundry disappear, watering the plants, loading last night’s dinner dishes into the washer while issuing instructions on brushing teeth; for loading the frig with groceries, planning out the meals, and stirring the spaghetti sauce while supervising homework; for signing up Kid 1 for the right soccer team, getting Kid 1 to the right soccer game (made that mistake before!), and driving a snotty-nosed Kid 2 to the doctor when her foreheads is as hot as a volcano.
I’ve always thought that Jesus was a tad wrong when he told a whining Martha-who was busy doing all the grunt work, making the dough essentially-that Mary, who was sitting there doing nothing (or so it seemed to Martha) but welcoming Jesus and making him feel comfortable, had the better part.
But a few months ago I got one. A wife. When Eric’s architectural firm, like every other architectural firm in the country, stopped getting work because no one can build, buy, or renovate in the horrible housing market of today.
This makes me the husband, the breadwinner, the dude who is supposedly bringing home the bacon and handing it to his wife to fry up in a pan with a little olive oil and seasoning. I have switched roles from a Mary (with kids grabbing at her) to a stressed-out Martha.
My day is much quieter now. I like that….not being yelled at 2,094 times because I don’t think cotton candy or Skittles are suitable afternoon snacks. I like not having to discipline 24/7 because I’m so pathetic at it anyway that friends begged me to submit a tape of our dinner hour to the reality show “Nanny 911.” I like the adult stimulation of working full time as a blogger and freelance writer (of whatever assignment I can get). I like the extra time to use my brain, and not having to squeeze e-mails in between requests from the little ones. And I like knowing the kids are with their father, not a sitter who is texting her girlfriends to find out the skinny on Josh, Brian, or Max, while the kids are camped out in front of reruns of “30 Minute Meals with Rachael Ray.”
But I’m not having the relaxing lunches I accused Eric of having the day he told me to put three-year-old David in underpants because our son was going to have to learn how to use the potty eventually.
“Easy for you to say!” I lashed out that morning. You get to enjoy a hot Italian sub with your co-workers while I clean up excrements all day long. You get to stay in that nice ironed oxford of yours, while I’ll change sweaters three times.”
No. All is not Utopian in Matha-land. She has deadlines, lots of them, and pressure. Man oh man, does she have pressure. Because she has to provide for a family of four: two big people and two little people are depending on her brain to function well enough to produce words that will miraculously turn into the cash they need to live in the house they bought, to go to the schools they are enrolled in, and to buy an occasional cup of Starbucks.
She never thought to consider Martha’s pressure back when she was Mary. She never pondered Martha’s set of problems: a sore neck from eight hours of bad posture at the computer, and a headache to match it from having to concentrate for longer than 15 minutes.
Now I can’t say for sure who has the better part. Maybe Jesus wasn’t so wrong after all.
What do you think?
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Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
Meet others on the journey in
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Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
posted July 13, 2009 at 11:38 am
This is one of several parables that reinforced my choice in leaving Christianity (even though it was the interaction with Christians that solidified the choice for me).
Yes, I’m well aware of all the symbolism, interpretation, hidden/mystic meanings, ‘mystery of the divine’, other hocus-pocus, etc.- I’m not a dullard or simpleton. I just don’t agree.
There are several places in the Gospel where Jesus shows himself to be a person whom I would not have liked as a ‘friend’, and this is one of them. This comment did not need to be said, and would have been hurtful to the recipient. NOT divinely inspired, in my book.
posted July 13, 2009 at 11:56 am
Personally, I think you both miss the point. Jesus was telling the world that women don’t necessarily belong in the kitchen, serving men all the time. They have as much right to be by His side as men. Two thousand years later, the “Christian right” still hasn’t gotten the message…
posted July 13, 2009 at 1:07 pm
you are both so wrong – this parable is saying that we all need to take time from our busy-ness and relax with Christ – get ourselves re-centered on Him and take care of our spirituality. this world is so focused on materialistic things and ‘to do’ lists that we seldom take time for our spiritual side. that’s what Jesus is saying – take some time to rest, rejuvinate, and revive our spirit man so we can continue with the other ‘not so important’ stuff.
posted July 14, 2009 at 8:51 am
I totally agree with Phyllis!!!
posted July 14, 2009 at 10:54 am
PRAISE GOD FOR UNDERSTANDING. THANK YOU, PHYLLIS. WE MUST TAKE TIME OUT TO FOCUS ON WHAT IS IMPORTANT IN LIFE. OUR FIRST LOVE, JESUS CHRIST. ONLY JESUS CAN REVIVE & RESTORE US FROM OUR EVERY DAY DISTRACTIONS. SEEK THE LORD EARLY AND YOU SHALL FIND HIM, FOR HE IS ALWAYS WAITING ON US TO CALL UPON HIM. STOP PUTTING THE LORD ON HOLD FOR A BETTER TIME, TIME IS RUNNING OUT !!! YOU WANT RELIEF NOW ? THEN CALL ON THE LORD NOW !!! PRAISE GOD, JESUS
posted July 14, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Phyllis has interpreted this little understood gospel story the way in
which Jesus intended. Martha was oblivious to the Sabbath moment in her own midst so wrapped up in her busyness.
To freelancer…the approach to the life in Jesus is the path of pain,sacrifice and tough love …we all fall short but His grace is sufficient and His mercy everlasting…and the reward for perservering is Abundant life…may you find the peace you are seeking in the real Jesus.
posted July 14, 2009 at 5:56 pm
The prevailing/mainstream Biblical interpretation I have heard of Mary vs. Martha is not that, ordinarily, Mary was right and Martha was wrong. Rather, because Jesus was on his way to his Passion and Crucifixion — and his disciples knew he was, if nothing else, on some sort of path to danger — Mary’s response of giving up the usual preparations and just being with Jesus was the right one UNDER THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES.
This makes sense to me. And it strikes me that the application of the parable to those of us with bipolar disorder or depression is not that you shouldn’t ever do busywork/gruntwork, or that it’s not always responsible to just “be in the moment.”
Instead, I am reminded that we who walk on an emotional tightrope have the most trouble balancing those two vital life roles — and knowing when which is most important. Maybe we are like Martha in that way, if nothing else.