Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

Sonja Lyubomirsky: 8 Steps Toward a More Satisfying Life

posted by Beyond Blue | 10:00am Friday July 3, 2009

HowofHappiness-cover.jpg
Happiness expert Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests these 8 steps to a more satisfying life. 

1. Count your blessings.
One way to do this is with a “gratitude journal” in which you write down 3 to 5 things for which you are currently thankful – from the mundane (your peonies are in bloom) to the magnificent (a child’s first steps). Do this once a week, say, on Sunday night. Keep it fresh by varying your entries as much as possible.?? 
2. Practice acts of kindness.?
These should be both random (let that harried mom go ahead of you in the checkout line) and systematic (bring Sunday supper to an elderly neighbor). Being kind to others, whether friends or strangers, triggers a cascade of positive effects – it makes you feel generous and capable, gives you a greater sense of connection with others and wins you smiles, approval and reciprocated kindness – all happiness boosters.?? 
3. Savor Life’s Joys.?
Pay close attention to momentary pleasures and wonders. Focus on the sweetness of a ripe strawberry or the warmth of the sun when you step out from the shade. Some psychologists suggest taking “mental photographs” of pleasurable moments to review in less happy times.?? 
4. Thank a mentor.
If there’s someone whom you owe a debt of gratitude for guiding you at one of life’s crossroads, don’t wait to express your appreciation – in detail and, if possible, in person.
5. Learn to forgive.?
Let go of anger and resentment by writing a letter of forgiveness to a person who has hurt or wronged you. Inability to forgive is associated with persistent rumination or dwelling on revenge, while forgiving allows you to move on.
6. Invest Time and Energy in Friends and Family.
Where you live, how much money you make, your job title and even your health have small effects on your satisfaction with life. The biggest factor appears to be strong personal relationships.
7. Take care of your body.
Getting plenty of sleep, exercising, stretching, smiling and laughing can all enhance your mood in the short term. Practiced regularly, they can help make your daily life more satisfying.
8. Develop strategies for coping with stress and hardship.
There is no avoiding hard times. Religious faith has been shown to help people cope, but so do the secular beliefs enshrined in axioms like “This too shall pass” and “That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” The trick is that you have to believe them.
To read more of Sonja Lyubomirsky, check out her book, “The How of Happiness,” which is available in an iPhone application, as well. 
To read more Beyond Blue, go to http://blog.beliefnet.com/beyondblue, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.

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Star

posted July 3, 2009 at 4:02 pm


These are good thoughts for today since we all need to be grateful for whatever we have and do.



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Vivian Eisenecher

posted July 4, 2009 at 12:59 pm


Always good to hear that most of the things that I do are contributing to my happiness!



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lw

posted July 6, 2009 at 9:25 pm


Advice that works is always helpful especially when it is a reminder of things already known that haven’t been put into practice lately. Thank you for both telling the things I am doing will pay off and reminding me to continue to do them.



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SuzanneWA

posted July 6, 2009 at 9:29 pm


Therese, I have a difficulty with the definition of the term “mindfulness.” Does it mean being “present in the moment,” and if so, why? I understand the “wandering mind,” but why go chasing it if it’s not important to the “now?” I think the author of the CD could teach me, but I cannot afford his CD. Perhaps I’ve missed something from your previous blogs, and if so, I hope I can catch up!



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