One thing I remember reading a while back, is that the presence of a night light can compromise your sleep. It seems that when you open your eyes and see light, it in effect, starts your sleep clock all over again. So if you wake up at say, 3am, wide awake and read for a while, getting up at 7am will feel torturous. The article I read encouraged parents to wean their children of night lights.
My thing to combat middle-of-the-night wakefulness, is to turn on a fan. I lie in bed with my eyes closed because any rest is better than no rest. A white noise machine would be good, or a recording like the one I have that is just the sound of ocean waves going in…and out……and in…….and…….(yawn)

Highly Sensitive person…! I vaguely remember one of our daughters referencing The Highly Sensitive Child for her son, our Grandson..who is, by the way, a joy! My spouse is not a HSP so my life has been one big non-validation. Maybe this book will put some sanity back in my life. I die if I have TOO MUCH down time but I absolutely need SOME no zone, no crunch time. I hate going on “vacation” with my husband (which happens about once every 10 years) because we are so on his schedule. We have been married for 39 years and have 9 children. My husband always has projects etc. Even when we had all our children he was often gone 5 nights a week until 10:00 or so. Our children definitly kept me busy and money was extremely tight so there were no nights off for me. Now one of our daughters is a Family Practice doctor, another is a middle school teacher (home with her 2 little boys), one is a vice-principal, one is an engineer, one just graduated from college, 4 are still in college. I teach third grade. Today is my birthday…I am 59. My gifts for myself are a comment response from Shelly (Thank you!)and I am going to go to the grocery store (a Big Deal when I am this depressed)… but I am going out of town (too much pressure to be “ON” here in this small town) Also I might stop at a book store and see if they have The Highly Sensitive Person. Interestingly people often tell me they do not know how I do it…yet I am definitely hanging on and actively grasping for lifesaving threads. Thank you to this void that has people out there. Thank you God!

In my opinion, prayer is most helpful when it comes to dealing with stress and depression. When I pray regularly, (in the morning, at night, during the day sometimes), I am more calm and definitely more reasonable. I have a short anger fuse, so when I pray that fuse has more length to it. Also, instead of automatically reacting to a situation, I think about it first, instead of reacting. God is a very soothing balm.

I have a lot of trouble getting my mind to settle down so that I can sleep. One thing that helps me a lot is to put on a CD of nature sounds. My favorite is the thunderstorm, although I also like gregorian chant. It works as white noise, but also helps me fantasize about being somewhere else – a cabin in the woods, a monastery in France, whatever. Pretty soon, my mind settles down and I fall right to sleep. Sometimes, all I have to do is turn on the CD and climb into bed because my body seems to know that when the CD is on, it is time to sleep. I highly recommend this method – it is the only thing that has really worked for me.

Meditation and prayer go hand in hand with your devotional time with God.I have to have a daily time set aside for just God and reading his daily Word and meditation.It helps get the day started to the right tune. the day just seems to go easier. I do not see how those who do not get a quite tim suvive the many problems that come up in a day.

I’m one of those who cannot sleep through the night. Blame it on menopause, worry, etc., etc.., so what I found very helpful is books on CD’s (CDs are better than tapes, as you don’t have to rewind). When I wake up, I just turn it on and I’m asleep in no time (except when the book is very interesting and I don’t want to go back to sleep!) Also it helps if you’re sleeping alone.

Sweetie,
I am wishing you a BIG Happy Birthday, with the wish that the years to follow are ones that you allow yourself to come to the forefront and do everything, yes, I mean EVERYTHING you want to do for yourself.
This time of life is for you, YOU!!!!! You are a smart, educated woman who has raised smart, educated children. Take a woman friend and go on vacation to a place YOU want to go. If you want to sit on the beach with your toes int he water and just read trashy novels, DO IT!!!!
And kept telling yourself, “I richly desevre this.”
Blessings,
Been there and done that,
Cynthia

Therese,
Wow, are you following me around. I think I said this before – but to know there are other JUST LIKE MYSELF,
gives a feeling of comfort. And I agree with the individuals that posted listening to a CD. Actually, I have some meditating CD’s that help. I have a question:
I love to write and I need to write – what the heck is stopping me from doing so? Do you think it is a fear of somesort?
Crissy

I cant sleep, my husband passed away almost one year ago , for almost a year i have been getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night, i ‘ve been taking subscribed sleeping pills, reading, walking etc… i cant think straight anymore, what else can i do

Working out in the morning at the gym has been the best perscription along with my time in prayer. You must be consistent in this for it to work. Try it!

You are in a total full blown depression, and for the most part, rightfully so. I went through the same thing when my last fiance’ died in a motorcycle crash. I was a hermit for 1-1/2 years until finally my girlfriends and my children “forced” me to go to dinner and dancing to get me out of the house and out of my depression. I was the designated driver. I met my current fiance’ that night and we have been together ever since and planning our wedding next year. My lonliness and depression are gone because I have my “true soulmate” to share the joy and sorrow that life brings. Life is temporary here on earth. Your husband is now your “guardian angel” and is always going to be there to watch over you, and it hurts him to see you this way. He is happy where he is, and you need to be happy where you are, otherwise, he would have lived for nothing.

For the last 5 years or so I’ve been having problems with my sleep. It all began when I stopped dreaming. This, unimportant as it may seem, it’s a major indicator that our sleep patterns are disturbed or that we don’t really achieve the restful or deep state of sleep that allows us to dream.
My husband’s snoring was also a great contributor. I’d to move to the guest bedroom and this caused many other problems to an alrady shaky relationship. Later on other problems interfered with my sleep and by 2006 I was sleeping less than 4 hours per night and never falling asleep before 3 AM.
I went to see a psychiatrist and the first thing she asked me is “How well do you sleep and for how long?”
She prescribed some anxiety medication that allow me to fall asleep within 30 minutes. I was under the idea that those were sleeping pills but they aren’t, they are to help me with my anxiety. I develop anxiety over being awaken when I’m falling asleep, mostly by hearing my spouse snores.
This is a long story and it’s full of pain, so I’ll leave it at this. He eventually sought help for his apnea and it’s not so pronounced now, and I’m taking half of my anxiety med pill every other night.
I stopped drinking, though I was never much of a drinker, and I now try to be physically active and pay attention to my nutrition. In the process I was able to lose over 30 lbs and I’m now in better physical shape than I was in my 20′s.
Your article is excellent and hits the nail on the head. Thanks.

I guess i am in serious trouble, i have irregular work shifts, and i work an average of 180-250hr a month, the closest i have to play time is when i workout in d gym in order to be able to work as much. And as for prayers, i feel that every time i pray to God, things always go very wrong. Downtime is luxury, When i get home i can barely stand straight, then that is when all my problems hits me like a train. I know i cant sustain this much more but then some of us dont have much choice.

I have been out of work for 2 months, and my husbands job went from 60 hrs. per week to if he is lucky to 25 hrs per week. Or sex life also went down hill. I’m so very tired and maybe I’m not praying enough or right. Please any suggestions would be helpful

When I’m reading the bible I start to think about Jesus and what He had done for me and it make me so very thankful been a life so I can pray to the Lord in the morning & noon & night & all time that I to pray. Because one day not to long ago my boy bird would die on me but I pray for the Lord him stay long with me & for him be heal & my boy bird is here and he is strong and I praise God everyday that I get that my boy bird is still with me and I still for him . His is name is Buster and he is a good bird ,but just one of the I have girl bird too and her name is Baby but I love my birds because God give them me and my husband. And I have a good husband and we go to church and we love the Lord with our whole heart.

Hi. I just signed up and have been reading your posts. You all need to pat yourselves on the back for putting a post in. It helps you and it helps the readers. I understand loss. I lost my dad, brother, and four uncles within a 1 1/2 year time frame. i don’t even feel I was existing in this body for two years until i started dating my boyfriend. The quote about a “Guardian Angel” hits home when I think about him. It’s been a year that we have been together and I am finally pulling out of this funk and have realized he has supported me as no other human has in all my life!!!! It feels strange to have it and also RECONIZE it!!!! Girls take care of yourselves, love yourselves, you are the only “you” this world has and it would be no good without you. I enjoyed reading all your comments. Take care.

This is a wonderful help .
The information is simple and hits the spoy.
Thank you.

I thank god everyday of my life for letting me be here today, i had a heartattack in sept of 05,i died on the paramedics,and they brought me back to life,when i got onto the hospital they took me stright back,and done angioplasty and placed a stent in my heart it was a 100% blockage and im here today by the grace of the good lord seems like i slip daily and cant get on track like i should,i would appreciate,any and all prayers from anyone who can may god bless

Hi! I read your article about rest and the sensitive person. I am one of those as well as a night person. And, since I’ve retired, I’ve found it to be such a wonderful thing to be able to stay up as late as I like and sleep as late as I want. I used to have a very hard time with depression but since I’ve been living alone and able to create (write and paint) at my own pace and sleep when my body tells me, I feel so much more peaceful. Also, when I get up in the mornings I read a wonderful daily spiritual message in a book I have and then If read the scriptures suggested and then I write in my “Gratitude Journal”. I write down the scripture which sort of strikes me as the most important message from God for that day. Then I write a letter to God, thanking him for five things every day. In addition, I may write a request or prayer to Him. I am on my sixteenth book now and I hope that someday when I am gone, my children and/or grandchildren will read my books and derive some sort of spiritual knowledge and encouragement from them. As for myself, it has made a huge difference in my life. God has helped me so many times that it is really amazing and He definately does answer prayers. My requests to Him and my blessings from Him have almost all been granted. And, I would just like to pass this on to others who may or may not have suffered from depression and/or anxiety. Try it for yourself. It works!!!

How nice to read this….it doesn’t make me feel different, better yet strange. It makes me realize I do things for a reason. The reasons I need to, because I am finally realizing I am Grateful for being who I am. I am over a year out of a very stressful marriage and home life. I was made fun of because I couldn’t get up in the morning (I stayed up late putting the home life back together). We spend too much of our lives thinking that we should be like others in so many aspects. I feel free to enjoy that the way I go about taking care of myself is okay. Reading, sleeping in on weekends, praying, inability to stay too ‘busy’ doing fun stuff for too long…..thank you for the article. All who read take care.

To Patrick and all of you who believe to be in serious trouble, seek help, please! and, above all, don’t lose hope. I’m praying for all of you and I’m sure many others are as well.

Thanks for the notes on FOUR Kinds of Rest.
So often I’ve thought of laying down &/or sleeping as REST.
I’ve had multiple disc injuries in my spine & so horizontal has been the answer to the PAIN Problem. I come from a professional (AND A NEW MARRIED) life that de-emphasizes FUN. A person who appears vigorous, happy & has FUN is almost SUSPECT.
FUN is great relaxation & rest to the weary mind and the body & soul in PAIN. Physical FUN eg a swim in the ocean, and a ride on a rollercoaster, a walk in the park, socializing can be so refreshing!
My challenge has been just getting out of the house! The fresh air & SUNSHINE are critical. Vitamin D from the Sun on our unprotected skin for 20 minutes is pretty essential and can be HEALING.
No more will I tell my loved ones to “Take Care” when I depart, I will tell them to “Have FUN!”

Therese, I agree with all FOUR manners of REST! I’m twice-widowed, and live alone now, and find that for me, working on my computer into the wee hours IS relaxation…I spend my time submitting mystery shop reports, opening emails for cash, and doing surveys for rewards/cash. Often, however, I’ll take my meds at Midnight, eat some strawberry yogurt (which I share with one of my cats!), and indulge in chips and dip while reading or doing crosswords, until I feel sleepy (my meds give me a one-hour rush, so I have to overcome that to FEEL sleepy), but then I PLAN to get up at 4AM the next morning to get tasks such as laundry, showering and washing my hair, and just relaxing with the morning paper, until I either have a mystery shop later in the day or a doctor’s appointment which I need to prepare for. Now, I KNOW I can’t keep this as a regular schedule, because by the day after, I’m running on FUMES! I will take meds about 11PM, and sleep until 1 or 2 in the afternoon the next day. My therapist calls this my “ebb and flow” and as long as I don’t have anybody else in my life to “please” and I can “get away with it,” I have found this LACK of routine to be most invigorating.
I agree that we ALL have our own “time clocks” built in that WILL/CAN allow us our DOWNTIME. I also thank the Lord every day in every way for His blessings, major OR minor, to get through the day.
I wish to address “Jim” – a heart attack where you “died” WILL affect you mentally AND spiritually for a LONG time. I have had several “near-death” experiences, but have always come through to the “other side.” You MUST expect to “slip daily and (not)get on track like (you) should.” This is normal. After all, your whole world has been shaken, and you have been given a “wake-up” call…Of course, your life has changed – but – don’t be so HARD on yourself. Just believe you were kept on this plane for a reason; but don’t beat yourself up trying to figure out what it is! Just a normal “hello” to someone you meet in the store, or holding a door for someone are little “acts of kindness” you can do that NOBODY else has done. I WILL keep you in my prayers that you may find peace…

Hello,
I am very new to this sharing your feelings online thing so be patient with me please. I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety when I was young and have suffered my whole life. Which now I am 41 and even more lost. I have suffered through Graves Disease and I am now on synthroid for the loss of thyroxin from having my thyroid obleted. About 10 weeks ago I had a total hysterectomy which included ovaries, tubes the whole nine yards. I have recovered very well because they were able to do this without cutting me. Here is the problem……..my hormones of course are out of this world. Taking estrogen is slowly helping this. But, I feel I am slowly falling apart. Which means doctor visits is my synthroid level off, are my hormones right, is my medication for depression right. It is so frustrating!!! The counselors I have seen do not seem to help. Most of the time in public I am like a camelion. You don’t really ever see my suffering. Maybe they are not able to see through that I don’t know. I try to be upfront but my protective nature must work overtime even when I don’t need it to. I cannot seem to keep a job, I sleep all the time, and I do not go outside unless it is absolutely necessary. This makes it very hard to pay the bills. I would like for someone to give me some ideas of how to remedy some of these issues. What kind of jobs do you guys hold. I am very good with children but my last job. I got an overwhelming feeling that I could not handle it with 9 children 2 definently adhd. So I walked out after talking to my supervisor. What kind of job is there for people like us.
Signed,
very confused

TO ALL OF YOU WHO BELIEVE TO BE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE, TO GOD BE THE GLORY. BE ENCOURAGED THAT THOUGH CHRIST ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. DON’T GIVE UP HOPE. MY PRAYERS ARE FOR ALL OF YOU.

I am so grateful for this article and the writer! Sleep for depressed and sensitive people is always an issue. I find at times I could sleep for days. I doze off during the day at my desk or on the sofa and then still need to get a solid night’s sleep…which is never enough. I wake early and go to bed late and am always playing catch up.
I don’t fit enough fun in but try…and thanks for saying that FUN for us doesn’t have to be a roller coaster ride but can be quiet activities as mentioned. Some folks don’t get that.
As for Julie…find something you LIKE to do, and make it into a home business. If you like art…paint and draw and sell prints on ebay. You can sell tupperware or avon or do anything you like on your own schedule. In the meantime to pay the bills…find what I like to call a “brain dead” job…something you can do without a lot of mental effort…pick and pack in a warehouse, file clerk, or even cashier where u paste a smile on all day…occasionally it works it’s way inward!… that way you don’t have to put too much effort into pleasing others or worrying about how well you’re doing.
Also…I HIGHLY recommend meditation…find a guided meditation cd you like and follow along…ten minutes is all you really need if your time is on a budget but do it as long as you like…it’s restful and a good way to fall asleep if you are having trouble.

i suffered, and survived a skull fracture almost 4 years ago…i still don’t know why i was allowed to survive it, but i thank God every day, that He allowed me too…i have serveral other medical problems, and i accept them all..but i feel like God has given me more blessings and gifts than i would ever expected, and for that i am very grateful…
suzane

Thank you for your commentary. It hit home. Sometimes I feel like I have to “do” – get active, join the crowd – when really I just want to lie down and get my head together. I’ve been thinking of this as depression. I’m 75, have started swimming and “getting involved” in other activities – but I find when I wake up in the a.m. It is hard to get motivated and I feel depressed. Reading what you had to say gave me something to think about. Thanks.

I recently found your blog, and have been reading with great interest. I believe I was meant to read about this book “The Highly Sensitive Person.” I recently bought the book, and it truly speaks to me and makes me feel like I’m not a freak after all! Thank you for referencing this book for your readers.

I agree with all the comments made on your site. I find it very hard to get everything accomplished that I need to do in a day’s time. I have a job that I tried to do everything in one day and my boss told me that it was impossible to do that everytime. That made me feel better. I listen to music everyday, all day as a means of relaxation. When I get into my vehicle I put some soothing music on and that helps to rest my mind, which is going full force all the time even when I sleep it seems like. Usually I feel just as tired when I wake up as before I went to sleep. Too much month for the money and got a lot of things to think about these days.
Thanks for listening!

Dear Therese:
Your articles are wonderful. Whenever I read them, I feel as if I’m at my kitchen table chatting with a friend. I get depressed a lot, although I believe mine is due to external circumstances, rather than a brain wiring. One of the main reasons for my anxiety and depression is the apparently never-ending periods of financial struggles, and never having enough time to live more graciously. It’s always work, commute, household obligations, children’s demands. In that respect, I’d been looking for ways to supplement my income from home, or even eventually do it full time. Would you have the time and energy to point me in the right direction insofar as writing articles for the internet, such as you do? Is there income in it? It would be shooting two birds with one stone: (1) I’d be able to do something I’d enjoy by sharing my experiences and insights and hopefully help some soul out there with my writing (much the same way that you do); and (2) make some extra money.
Thank you for any help you can give me and more power to you. I pray for you now and then, whenever you come to mind.
Sincerely,
Felice

Loved it! I identify myself as an HSP. Recently, I started working out at a gym and find that it’s truly invigorating. All of the above fit in my schedule. Rest, gym, unwind, pray. Life is beautiful!

SLEEP!!!! YES, YES, YES!!!!! It cures me, others do not understand “get up from that bed, you are sleeping to much” NO, NO, NO…….haven’t you heard of “sleep therapy?” I am in one of those “stages.”

Sorry to respond to an old post, but I certainly can relate and this is helpful. Blessings.

What a powerful reminder for sensitives. Thank you!

this is the first time i found a site for highly sensitive beings.
what a breath of clean air it is to know i’m not the only one get hurt very easily.
it would be nice to write some of you and hear how you’ve gotten alone so far with this hyper condition?
take good care.. fondly, martha jean

I not only have bipolar disorder; I also have sleep apnea.
This past week has simply been torture because my CPAP machine (which keeps my throat open while I sleep to prevent snoring) was broken and my sleep was constantly interrupted by obstructed breathing. The parts to fix the machine arrived yesterday; I installed them last night; I had a blissful night last night and feel well-rested for the first time in a week today.
Amazing the difference one thing can make.
(And make sure to get checked for apnea if you don’t feel rested after sleeping!)

Good to hear that cleared up, Mr. Parker =)
There is a lot about this that makes sense. I tend to retreat to my bedroom when I feel overly stimulated and there is a big difference between that type of retreat and isolating. Isolating is not wanting to be around anyone, ever. Retreat is because all of my eyes get sensitive to light, my hearing seems unfiltered and my skin seems extra sensitive to touch and temperature. I tend to think ‘I can’t face another minute of this day unless I nap’ because I want to be around people later. Both are habits that need to be monitored, but rest is very important.

Helpful, and I especially like the way that downtime is distinguished from other types of rest. “Just for unwinding and thinking over the day.” I sometimes try to _substitute_ one type of rest for another, and it doesn’t really work. Now I understand why. Thanks for this!

Nice post. I have first time read about how to maintain mental health.
Its very useful. Prayer plays vital role in maintaining mental health.

Gosh! Someone UNDERSTANDS me!!!! I have read a lot of things and this hit the nail on the head. HSP is a new term to me but it is so accurate. Thanks. I feel better already!