On Mindful Monday, my readers and I practice the art of pausing, TRYING to be still, or considering, ever so briefly, the big picture. We're hoping this soul time will provide enough peace of mind to get us through the week!
I did it.
20 days offline.
I missed a half-dozen parties because I never got the evite.
I was a tad behind on the school paperwork for the kids.
But I learned two important things. First, if you take away my job and all things work related, I still have a very full life. Which means ... now that I'm back on the computer ... that I need not take things to heart so much when I make a professional flop and that life will be just fine if I don't increase my blog traffic this year.
And second, that setting aside some time to listen to and be with my F-E-E-L-I-N-G-S is absolutely crucial to staying sane and halfway centered.
I urge you to experiment.
Find out how much time you gain when you stop checking your emails every half-second. And wait for the uncomfortable feelings ... of loneliness, fear, insecurity ... to surface once you stop running from event A to event B. You'll be surprised to find so many emotions that have been tucked inside, waiting for an opportunity to emerge when you slow down (which, of course, you don't).
I know this sounds wrong, but being busy is actually much easier than having time to yourself. You don't have to absorb so much. However, I'm finding that if I don't quiet down every now and then to hear what my feelings have to say, that my inner life will eventually erupt in an ugly mess of depression and anxiety. So this little hiatus from the world isn't just a nice thing to do if you can afford it. It's essential to staying well.
In his book, "Wasting Time With God," author Klaus Issler writes:
Our use of time with overcommitted calendars and busy routines all border on becoming genuine addictions--we cannot live without them. To gain any ground of mastery over time, we must take breaks from the routines of life to visit and vacation with God; there is no other cure. We must press the pause button of life now and then.
We can use the phrase "wasting time with God" to justify these special occasions--especially if we are a fairly driven kind of person. This kind of "wasting" is of high value in God's economy. Having no agenda is all right; in fact, it is preferred. Anything we can do that truly nurtures our soul and relationship with God is worth the effort and time. Some believers have become so accustomed to a busy pace of life that being alone for any length of time will initially involve discomfort and withdrawal pains.
Initially?
Um. I was uncomfortable every day of my offline experiment. But, having done this back in February and last August, I knew to expect some restlessness and anxiety. In fact, the day before I logged off, I printed out 40 blog posts of Elisha Goldstein's "Mindfulness and Psychotherapy," because I wanted to devote my time offline to getting better at mindfulness.
I reminded myself, when a painful feeling would begin to surface, that my thoughts aren't facts, and they are not permanent. I told myself to simply acknowledge that the feelings were there and to respond with compassion. In his post, "Mindfulness, Mood, and Your Mental Health," Dr. Goldstein writes:
Practicing mindfulness means to acknowledge the feelings that are there, not judge them as good or bad, but let them be. This may bring up healing feelings of self-compassion and calm as you realize how much you are suffering in the moment. When you notice self-judgments arise, you can label them as such, and gently bring your mind back to just being with the feelings that are there. There is a more gentle and compassionate nature to this approach than the usual cycle of self-judgment and critical mind that we've been used to for so long. This is not to say don't ever have judgment or think about the past or future, but to do it on your watch rather than letting your mind run off with it and deepening your suffering.
I'm trying to do a better job of caring for my mind and soul these days. I know what the repercussions are if I don't. So here's hoping--with some practice at mindfulness--that I'll be able to retain the wisdom gained during my break ... even amid the noise and chaos of daily life.
* Click here to subscribe to Beyond Blue! And click here to follow Therese on Twitter. And click here to join Group Beyond Blue, a depression support group. Now stop clicking.
Add to Del.icio.us
Add to Technorati
Add to Digg
Add to Newsvine
Add to Facebook
Add to StumbleUpon
Subscribe
Welcome back Therese, I missed you! Congratualtions on keeping your offline commitment - you've inspired me to take my own mini-break in the near future.
I almost feel as if I should be the subject of an intervention. If I don't get a Facebook or e-mail fix every few hours, something may cause the earth to shift off its axis and it will be all my fault! I'm going to try disconnecting, Therese. I'm not sure how long to try this but I'm going to give it a shot. My writing has suffered recently as I've used a lot of stuff as the reason for my absence from the keyboard - doing something constructive.
Time will tell the tale...
Congratulations Therese! It's like stepping back in time. It's amazing to think that not that long ago there was no online. I wonder if there are any studies correlating the rise of the internet and its affect on mental health? The internet is a great tool but it definitely speeds up the mind with all the flipping images. I see this affect on my kids. They can only go online for a set amount of time or they get overwhelmed. So I put an egg timer next to the computer for them.
'But I learned two important things. First, if you take away my job and all things work related, I still have a very full life. Which means ... now that I'm back on the computer ... that I need not take things to heart so much when I make a professional flop and that life will be just fine if I don't increase my blog traffic this year.'
Very true important advice which most multi-tasking addicts would find hard to believe.
Therese: I hear what you're saying and I agree with the principle. But, I'm not so sure that being busy is so much easier. Of course, I may just be lazy. Maybe it was getting mono or a complete change of lifestyle when I worked overseas, but for the past 15 years or so I've had NO agenda. I get up, go to work, and raise my kids. On Sundays, we go to church. When we have the money, we go out to eat or take a little roadtrip or go bowling. (I'm a male and former single father, now remarried.) For quite a while now I've been blessed with jobs that I really enjoy doing; one of them even prevented me from being online for at least 8 hours a day. Meanwhile, I've watched people who are "busy" all the time, and I wonder, "How do they convince themselves that what they're so busy doing is worth doing at all?" Even their careers seem pretty useless - just crunching numbers and pushing paper to maximize the profit of some corporation, not even knowing what happens on the company's shop floor. However, I believe too much time with your own emotions can be almost as destructive as not enough.
Post a Comment
By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.