Am I Depressed or Just Deep?

This is so close to home. Creativity and mental illness are often linked in people's minds. In the extreme, we give celebrities a pass on drug addiction or other types of acting out; it is said they do these things because they are creative. While it is true that writing or acting or other arts may be a good outlet for expression; they are not a cure for depression, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. It can be a hard balance to achieve; knowing when creativity is helpful. Extreme flights of fancy are not nor is extreme empathy for people we have never met. I really appreciate the viewpoints that you blog about covering these many issues and helping us gain perspective.

I treasured the 'lives of the saints' little books that I had as a child. I have always noticed injustice and cruelty more than other people. Having grown into an adult and been depressed for years, I cry when I hear about how people suffer. I have never understood why other people don't have the same reaction. I don't know that I can ever get past the sadness. Yet sadness is totally unproductive. It doesn't benefit anyone. The challenge for me is to know and have empathy for people, then be able to act to do something to end suffering. Depression takes away the ability to act to the solve problems that create suffering. Our great spiritual leaders could see suffering, have compassion and not be distroyed by it. That was their lesson. Either you transcend the suffering by faith or by acknowledgement that everyone suffrs and our essence is without suffering. In fact, Buddha said, "I teach only suffering and the end to suffering," I appreciated your blog today, it gave me a new perspective. Thank you.

When I feel depressed I am sad. When I am suffering from depression I can see no hope for things to get better and I can not think of anyone but myself even if I make an effort to. True depression seems to deplete me of any artistic desire or energy, and I find any attempt to express myself artistically during these bouts are simply exercises in self pity, seeking comiseration. It does not seem to be that you either have "depth" and suffer for the sake of feeling the world as is or you go take medication. There seems to be a lot of in between. Depression is a feeling,even deep sometimes, and it is also a disease that kills tens of thousands a year just here in the USA. Ask others about your "depth" vs. Depression and see what your loved ones think.

I am living with a man who is extremly OCD when it comes to organization, and cleanliness. I am not a slob, but I am very forgetful and unorganized. His nagging, and displeasure has caused me to feel worthless, even tho I know I'm not, and I have asked him to leave several times. He has no place to go, I guess. I also have 2 children with special needs and am severely below poverty standards, but we are both students trying to change our situations. I have made many changes and asked for advice on how to make him happy, but honestly after a year of living together I do not think it is possible considering our personality traits. This morning he really hurt my feelings. I went to hug him goodbye, not kiss, and he gave me a stranger pat on the back, because I felt ill yesterday. I can not go through this constant rejection from him anymore. I just can't.

to Dorothy K,

Your mental health and self esteem are more valuable than staying in a relationship that is unsupportive and critical. I walked away from a marriage to a loyal, high income husband because he did not believe I suffered from depression, was uncommunicative and we could not relate or connect to each other. As a result, I had to start over again and it took many years to recover. IT WAS WORTH IT.
Good luck to you and your children. You need to look after yourself first so that you can be the best Mom for your children.
Love and Light,
Jann

Depression has become a buzz word in this culture and most assessments are subjective. True bi-polar can be determined with a simple blood test and most behavioral problems like OCD have B vitamin deficiencies. Many of the anti-depressant medication are only suppose to be used for severe depressive states and after only food allergies and other imbalances are ruled out. 46% of the population should not be eating wheat and wheat (gluten) has a direct link to depression. All this information can be located on the Net, you just have to know where to look. A good reference book that gives orthomolecular suggestions that I have used as a nutritionist for my clients is Natural Healing for Schizophrenia and other Common Mental Disorders by Eva Edelman

Those who are pro-abortion believe that babies are not alive or/either babies, until they are born. This is logically impossible because human beings cannot be alive before they are alive. States or conditions of existence previous to life are, therefore, logically impossible. If humans are alive at berth, therefore, then, they must have been alive before berth. This is a logical fact.

I appreciate this article's author having taken the time to write it.
"Beset by great evil, a person can become wise..." is one of the best quotes I have ever, ever heard. I will not ever forget those words... thank you again.

My Highest Regards,
Michael Schneider

Ah, the old debate between depression and "the dark night of the soul" ...

I think it is possible, based on what has been publicized recently about Mother Teresa, to have BOTH. (And maybe you did too, Therese.)

Mother Teresa clearly had grave doubts about her religious calling and even core beliefs that prayer and other rituals did not alleviate, and these saddened her enormously -- perhaps clinically.

But if she was clinically depresssed, she was not immobilized in the sense that she was still able to ACT to help the people of Kolkata. In a way that, say, Primo Levi was not immobilized amid the horrors of Holocaust concentration camps -- and yet tragically was during his final suicidal spiral.

It is the severity of depression, I think, that marks the difference -- whether one can act in the face of doubt, or is paralyzed by it. And that, I think, is a distinction anyone from an atheist to the Pope can determine.

PS -- In the interest of people who may just be realizing they have depression and have come to Therese's blog for the first time, it is urgent to correct two things on this comment page.

1. While there is lots of evidence that vitamins and supplements (e.g., fish oil) can help depression, there is no evidence that a lack of vitamins and supplements is the SOLE cause of depression.

2. I cannot emphasize strongly enough, for anyone with bipolar disorder (such as myself), THERE IS NO BLOOD TEST TO DIAGNOSE BIPOLAR DISORDER.

Thus, there will always be a measure of (yes) doubt about our diagnoses -- as a Catholic might say, one more cross we with depression have to bear.

I am 57 and just realized that I have probably been depressed most of my life. I have also learned that medicine alone won't help. We have to be willing to work with the meds, not against them. Like exercise, getting out of the house, etc. It takes every ounce of ability I have to just get out of bed, much less get dressed. I have started giving myself out project each day to do. It may be as simple as washing, sweeping, watering the plants. As long as I can accomplish that one thing I can feel good about the day. The one thing I don't have is family support. I constantly hear "YOU DON'T LOOK DEPRESSED". "WHAT ARE YOU DEPRESSED ABOUT"? I have learned to hide alot of my feelings and cry myself to sleep. People treat anyone with depression like lepers.

This is a good read. I especially like the part where you differentiated feeling sad with feeling depressed. I thought that these two words were synonyms but there is, in fact, a difference - particularly in functioning. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!

Depression, like any other disease does, not form symptoms, cures, or the ability to cope for life with the disease, the same for any one person. If so, there would be ONE kind of PILL, but there are hundreds or thousands. THE TRUTH ABOUT antdepressamts is that each one works in less than 20% of the people who take them and they aren't sure why or how they work.
So, I am patient. I try something that seems it might work, and then it doesn't, so my Doc and I go thru the guessing game some more. The bottom line is, are YOU more comfortable being depressed. I know I was (and sometimes still am), but you have to WANT TO GET WELL OR MAKE PROGRESS to do it. YOU HAVE TO TAKE ACTION, meds, therapy, pastoral counseling, getting the F out of bed the days you don't want to and move on. YOU ARE NOT THE CENTER OF YOUR UIVERSE OR ANYONE ELSES. Do the WORK or STAY THE VICTIM (where you feel safe and comfortable cause you been there so long).
WE HAVE A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE IMPACT ON OUR LOVED ONES AND WE HAVE THE SAME FOR PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH. You were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for self-indulgence, but through love become slaves to one another. For the whole law is summed up in a single commandment, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
FOR ME, THE REST IS JUST COMMENTARY. DO THE WORK. LIVE AND I WISH YOU LOVE AND PEACE--I WORK FOR IT ALL THE TIME AND SOMETIMES IT IS WONDERFUL...OTHER TIMES NOT, BUT IT IS NOT A PERSON IN MY LIFES FAULT. IT IS A DISEASE LIKE ANY OTHER. HOPEFULLY YOURS AND MINE WILL UNDERSTAND IT SOMEDAY. IT IS BETTER THAN THINKING OF WAYS TO DIE THAT WILL NOT HURT WHO I WISH I COULD LOVE IN ACTION. BOTTOM LINE, THEY WOULD GET OVER IT, THINK OF YOU LESS AND LESS AS DAYS, MONTHS AND YEARS GO BY TO WHERE YOU ARE BROUGHT ONLY OCASSIONALLY.