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If you are like me, you’re going to need some tips to manage your holiday stress.
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If your mind were a diesel engine, anxiety would be the leaded gas that was accidentally poured in and responsible for all the burps and stutters. Even more so than depression, I think, anxiety is the big disabler in my life, with a capital D, which is why I try to nip it in its early symptoms. That doesn’t always happen, of course, but here are some techniques I try.
1. Recognize the reptilian brain.
My therapist friend Elvira Aletta gives a brilliant neuro-psychology lesson in one of her posts where she explains the two parts of our brain: the primitive part containing the amygdala–which is responsible for generating and processing our fear and other primal emotions–and our frontal lobes: the neo-cortex or the newest part of our brain, which is sophisticated, educated, and is able to apply a bit of logic to the message of raw fear that our reptilian brain generates.
Why is this helpful? When I feel that knot in my stomach that comes with a message that I am unloved by the world, I try to envision a Harvard professor, or some intellectual creature whacking a reptile on the head with the a book, saying something like “Would you just evolve, you overly dramatic creature?”
2. Exaggerate your greatest fear.
I know this doesn’t seem like a good idea, but truly it works. I learned it from a fellow Beyond Blue reader who explained on a combox: “Tell your fear to someone else and make sure to be as dramatic as possible, with very descriptive words and emotions. Then, when you’ve told every detail you can think of, start over again. Tell the entire, dramatic story, again with very elaborate descriptions. By the third or fourth time, it becomes a bit silly.”
My friend Mike and I do this all the time. He will tell me how he is afraid he has diabetes, and that his leg will have to be amputated, and then he won’t be able to drive a car with one leg, and because of that his wife with leave him, and he will be a single, lonely old man with one leg. Funny stuff, right?
3. Distract yourself.
For the last two months I have been under the very clear direction of my doctor to “distract, don’t think.” My thinking–even though I thought I was doing the right thing by using cognitive-behavioral techniques–was making things worse. So she told me to stay away from the self-help books and to work on a word puzzle or watch a movie instead, and to surround myself with people as much as possible. Don’t get me wrong, there is a place for cognitive-behavioral techniques and mindfulness. But when I reach a point of disabling anxiety, it’s more beneficial for me to try to get out of my head as much as possible.
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Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
Meet others on the journey in
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Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, Beyond Blue, on Beliefnet and is a regular contributor to the award-winning blog, World of Psychology, on Psych Central. Therese is the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit. Subscribe to Beyond Blue, visit her website, or follow her on Twitter @thereseborchard.
posted December 21, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Christmas With The Spirit Beings
This year I will be void of human company during the holidays. It is because of this sacred time I am going through, and all my loved ones have been assigned else where while I complete this preparing and transformation. I found myself thinking bummer….then I decided that I am far from alone, my spirit companions are always with me and so I decided to have a Christmas and New Years event in which all of my beautiful unseen by human eyes, spirit friends, loved ones and helpers could come here and be part of a celebration.
The more I planned it and thought about it the more excited I felt plus I was feeling the excitement ring through the universe and knew that word was getting around, “hey celebration at Redhearts’ house for the holidays.” I decided that this will now be a tradition for me from now on.
Just because we don’t always see and know the many spirit ones are near us and always helping us, doesn’t mean that we can’t invite them to come to a celebration where they are the guest of honor. I used to dance with Great Spirit a few years back and sort of forgot about it till I began planning these two celebrations. Promised a dance at both of these coming events.
I mean why not, these awesome beings are always here helping, protecting, guiding, and healing me. Always answering my calls to them and my prayers. What a wonderful event to open my home on these two earth holidays and invite them all to come. Among the guest will be God/Great Spirit, the Son Jesus the Christ, the Above Beings, the angels, Fools Crow who is always with me these days, my grandmothers and grandfathers, and my mother, all who live in the Spirit realm, also my son who was still born, the spirit helpers from the four directions, the thunder beings, my ancestors and my beloved spirit guides.
The plans are, to write a letter of welcome and set it next to the tree, light the candles, burn the medicine herbs and incense, set out a special plate of food next to the tree. Turn on special festive music, do a special meditation in which I will greet them all individually and collectively. Dancing with the spirits, and a special prayer for thanksgiving and love and peace on earth. Both evenings will have pretty much the same fare one more Christmas flavored and one more New Years flavored.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone, everywhere!!!!!
posted December 23, 2009 at 8:45 am
Thank you for sharing these tips! It’s hard to deal with anxiety as it is, without it going into overdrive during the holidays. With these 12 ways however, I believe it is definitely manageable and would help us enjoy the special holiday moments better.
I especially like these tips: watch a thought movie, eat super mood foods, break the day down, use visual anchors and of course, laugh. These are things that I make a point to apply in my life in general and not just during the holidays. They definitely help me focus more which leads me to make more and live more.
For more tips on how to make more, live more and give more this 2010, visit http://www.makemorelivemoregivemore.com.
posted October 18, 2010 at 8:14 am
I want to add few more easy ways to deal with stress.Following are some of it.
1] Listening to Music
2] Eat healthy foods
3] Exercise on a regular basis
4] Meditation and Yoga
Hope this will help you out.