Therese: Beyond Blue has become an important part of my life. Suggestion: try doing oatmeal in the microwave. It doesn’t burn as easily:) And thank you for your honesty and good writing.

Therese, as usual, thanks for your insight. I plan on getting your book, too. Peg

You know, this is a very timely post because I was thinking only yesterday that in spite of the decades of hell I’ve endured and survived, I wouldn’t change a thing. I mean, if a genie popped out of a lantern right here on the coffee table in front of me at Panera Bread, asking me if I wanted to retroactively become anyone else in the history of man/womankind I’d say no thanks. Hmmm.
I’m a better human being, man, counselor, writer, father, and potential catch (had to throw that in) thanks to my circumstances. Absolutely, my feelings often twist me up in knots, but at least I can feel…unlike so many hardened souls in this world. I am who I am. More so, I will be who I choose to be. I was dealt a hand, and I’ll play it…

Hello, Therese,
You’re No. 2 is interesting because I have two separate reactions to it. I was molested as a child, and because of that, I am very in-tune with children and super overprotective of them. It’s the one good thing I can say came out of that experience, but being protective of children is “almost” worth it. However, having suffered from depression on and off all my life, I find that I cannot be around people who are in a depression. It’s a sort of fear that I may go there too if I am with that person for very long. I understand and sympathize and can be there briefly, but I can’t stay very long with someone who’s suffering out of fear that I may get dragged down since I am so easily derailed. Weird, isn’t it? For one traumatic experience, I was able to help and protect children, but for the second traumatic experiences (depression), I can’t seem to help others. And yet here i am thanking God every day that you have this blog because I find strength in it… We are peculiar creatures with such sensitive systems, aren’t we? God bless you and your work…

I SO agree with everything! Having been recently freed (for the most part) from bipolar psychosis, I have found a peace I appreciate more for having experienced so much misery. A small gift from God, in a way. I have to contend with the medications and avoid alcohol, but these are small fries compared to the illness. You have eloquently described the other “gifts” that come from having suffered this illness. Thanks for posting this. (Look forward to reading your new book- it awaits at home.)

Hi Therese, thanks for an interesting post. I’m passing it on to a couple of friends of mine who have suffered from depression – I’ll be interested to see how they respond.
One disagreement: I think you are speaking about your response to depression and not depression itself. I think you are giving depression the credit instead of yourself, if you see what I mean.
Thanks for a very thought-provoking post.

Thanks for this, I was able to agree on many points. Especially #2, about the compassionate intuition… many times I’ve had people ask me, “How did you know I was upset?” It’s because I know what a faked happy face looks like, since I have had to practice it so many times in the mirror. There are subtle, distinct differences between that fake smile, that fake laugh, that fake happiness, and the real thing. Once you’ve been a faker long enough you can spot the fake from a mile away, and let them know they’re not alone.

This was such a relief to read and finally see someone else’s experience(s) put down. I have a friend that sometimes texts me later “What’s wrong?” I’m surprised and ask her “How did you know?” (She says she can tell by my ‘fake smile’ that something is not right.) Sometimes I just say “nothing”. We both have dealt with so much depression growing up and still take meds for it, so we relate a lot to each other which is how we bonded in the first place. It sure would be something if there were one easy solution for depression. Blogs such as yours sure do help us know we are not alone.

I think that everyone’s response to such a question would be unique.
Before I went into therapy, I thought that depression was rather a badge of honor, or a mark of strength that I’d managed to live so long. Now, after fifteen years of trudging toward healing, I can honestly say (at least at this moment), that I wish I had never suffered it. I don’t think it has made me more compassionate, or sensitive, or creative. It has immobilized me at times. Because of the causes of my depression, I’ve felt removed, and isolated from people, which I guess is only natural since it has taken me so long to deal with the pain inside.
I guess what I’m saying is that from where I stand, depression has been an enemy and a robber of happiness.

Great article I always love reading your stuff. I want to let you know that I added you to my feed reader! Keep up the great work! How To Fight Depression

A major benefit of depression is that one does fewer things. This is very beneficial to realizing the Tao, attaining Enlightenment, and ending suffering.
“The man of Tao does nothing and nothing is left undone.” ~ Tao Teh Ching.
Bodhidharma, father of Zen practice, sat staring at a wall for nine years.

It is depression which I have to thank for turning me toward spiritual awakening.
Thanks, it’s a very nicely balanced and insightful article.

I swear, you can reach inside of my head and pull out the stuff, the hard stuff that usually I can’t form into words. You make it real, and lifelike! I feel all of those 10 things, and more. My depression is many times a curse, the worst one being my inability to reach out and make an effort to make friends and be part of a group. It can be crippling how I feel that noboby wants my friendship – so I keep plenty of space in between, even though inside I ache for the closeness. However, my depression has gifted me with a sense of humor that I couldn’t live without, sometimes sarcastic and cynical, but usually appreciated. I think it’s made me more insightful, realistic, and logical. Working through pain frequently does this to a person. Once you see the light, your perspective has changed. You appreciate the good days like they were sacred.
I love your blog so much.

I love sharing my past life challenges with others…I am confident…compassionate open-minded..straight forward…appreciate..full of laughter…

Thank you Therese for being so insightful in your writing. You have become wise beyond your years. One does appreciate the wonderful beauty of our lives and the gifts we are given (I myself am doing well right now)and enjoy life to the best of my ability. I am more aware of myself and others in our limitations and strengths. The internet has become such a gift because of people like you who share their story. It has helped me share my story with others. Thank you again:-).

WOW! I never really thought of having depression as a good thing, I’ve always been ashamed and just thought of it as a stupid thing that I will get over eventually. But Everything you said Is so true, and really made me realize It’s really not that bad at all.. THANK YOU! Reading your article made my whole day!

Thank you. I just finished with my mid-morning meltdown and now after reading your inspired words, I feel much better. Thank you.
Janet

it was such a relief to read of someone else living with days where you think of death as a release from the emotional pain. it is not something i can share with friends and family. your list helped me put these days in perspective and almost normalize them because there are others who feel like this and yet go on. dare i say, survive? and it seems, thrive. thank you for providing relief about these feelings.

This blog is right on the mark! I especially loved the part about giving one a bigger heart of compassion. I’ve been there, too – the one needing a hug, and the hugger. I feel so many connections with people that I didn’t feel before. You are a true heroine to me.

Thanks Theresa for sharing. I have faught depression and have taken different med combinations for 10 years. I am finally at a point in my life and treatment that I feel good most days. But the best thing is being able to identify when an episode could develope if I don’t address it head on. Sleep if I am over tired- talk to someone if I need to. The thing that I would also like to stress it that you don’t have to be suicidal to be depressed. That being said- I still would like to thank you for your insight. The top 10 reasons are just one more tool for me to use to help me get through the day and accept who I am.

I too appreciate reading about others who can relate to death as a release from the pain. Even though life is better, it’s a hell of a lot of work just to stay on a good equilibrium. I yearn to be able to turn this into something good that would benefit or have meaning to others. That is in God’s hands. ”I never knew my super analytical brain was the result of my depression!

Once again, I smiled, chuckled, and sighed as I read your post. Shortly after my suicide attempt,I started taking spirituality classes as my second step towards recovery. (My first step was stabilization on meds.)These classes helped me contemplate, articulate, and craft new beliefs, many of which you write in your top 10. These classes led to a weekly support group of women who have become my touchstone for mental and spiritual health.
One of our members was a surviver of 2 kidney transplants and one liver transplant. She never expected to live beyond 20. She celebrated her 50th birthday with her new life partner, family, and friends. She was and continues to be an inspiration to us all. One of my favorite responses from her was:
PEOPLE ARE FOR LOVING NOT FOR JUDGING.
She transitioned to the non-physical last month with peace and love surrounding her. I hear her every time I start to speak a judgment and can now stop myself. She is strengthening my new beliefs and actions, so many of which you write. Bless you both.

Thank you.

Thanks Teresa. These were quite accurate. Hmm, I guess those of us with depression have a lot in common.

I identify with much of what you’ve stated. I believe that I inherited my depression, but I learned to deal with it. I am still hampered in the relationship thing though. It seems that getting stuck on levels of depression is part of this disease. I am retired now from a lifetime helping others. I was an active home nurse. I still care very much about others, but I just cannot do it anymore. Our kids are grown and we are in the twilight years. I appreciate them better than my earlier years. I hope that it gets better someday, but I don’t know if I care one way or the other. Life is life and death is death. I know it is hard thing to talk about, but I have some really strong beliefs that lead to another way of living beyond this world. I continue to heal slowly through my church.

This is my first time to reply. I have been reading your blog for over a year. I just wanted you to know what a blessing you have been to me. I came to your blog while looking for some relief for my problems with depression which I have had since a child. Everything you say resonantes with how I feel. I was not taking my anti-depressian regularly because I thought I was weak and didn’t need to depend on medician, but now I take it regularly and it really helps. I guess what I want to say is thank you so much for helping me understand that I’m not a freak and there are others just like me. I believe everything happens for a Divine reason. God directed me to you and you help me understand myself in ways I never thought were possible.

I am thankful for these articles about depression as I went where this writer has been! It is an accurate description of “darkness” after a breakdown. I had to heal as an outpatient with a lot of meds & support groups. Having the “anylitical mindset” does indeed go with this illness. I ended my 19 year marriage during the recovery and moved out of state which took a lot of courage but now realise it was my depression more than the marriage problems that was my real enemy! Like the writer I feel much different about people in thier afflictions.

I consider my depression and anxiety a Gift. For all the reasons you listed and more.
peace to all,
Kati

So, do you have bipolar disorder or clinical depression? My husband has bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder, and most of his episodes, including the one that put him in the hospital for 2 months, are MANIA. Depression might be bad; but, as the spouse of a man with bipolar disorder, I can tell you, I’d MUCH rather see him depressed than manic! When he’s depressed, he’s quiet and compliant. When he’s manic, he’s the closest thing to insane I’ve ever seen, except in the movies. I’d really appreciate it if, sometime, you’d talk more about mania here . . . especially solid, down-to-earth, practical tips for how to deal with someone who has frequent bouts of it.

I am not willing to agree with this at all. Yes, there is a by-product, which is not possible if a person is not in depression.
Let me take one: (1) I’m no longer afraid of death (or anything).
Yeah, what a courage, dud. Depressed people are not afraid of death, because they are depressed. They actually move on to a stage to commit a suicide. Not afraid of anything, because nothing becomes of interest any more.
A disease is disease is disease. What a eulogy to depression! I doubt you’ve been in depression in real sense.

Hello,
I am new to your articles. How I found them is I have been looking for something online to help with my depression. At least I think it is depression. See, I’ve always been a happy, laugh all the time, life of the party, person. I guess I still am in some circumstances. But, I am dieing, see I was diagnosts with COPD and Emphazyma in 2006 and the diease has progressed alot since then. I’ve always been the type of strong person. I didn’t anyone to have my back because I stopped it before that point(I guess is how I can explain it). I’ve never been real close to my family(mother,father,brother,halfsister). I have two sons, my 22 yr old(and girlfriend)still live with us. He shows he cares(when he wants)but he’s 22 with a new girlfriend and trying to get his life started. My 31 yr son, well, one day I’m his mother, the next I’m his mother——(if you know what I mean).Him and his girl of 13 yrs just split and he blames me for all the bad. Why? because I won’t tell his X girlfriend(whom is the mother of my 2 grandkids and we have been close for a long time)to stay away from my house. My husband of 23 yrs seems to be pulling further and further away from me. Why? I don’t know, he says that is not happening but I can feel it. Unless I complain he spends no time with me(none at all). He joined some sites on the internet and conversates with other women. He does not know that I know this. Theres more but I won’t go into it all. I just learned a few months ago that my best friend of 22 yrs betrade me in the unforgivable way and my other girlfriend of 13 yrs was in on it. So you might say I have lost everything that is worth living for anyway. Why hang around and make everyone misirable like me, I’m dieing anyway. I can not make my husband understand that this is getting hard to fight alone. Even though I tell him I don’t feel secure with his love, sure he tells me it isn’t so that he loves me, you know tell me what I want to hear at the time. I feel so alone, and theres really no one to turn to. I seen your article and said Why not? maybe it will make you feel better. So what is next? I don’t know where to go or what to do from here.

I have to agree with the person who diss’ed you about your 10 good things about depression. Nothing is really good about the ACTUAL DEPRESSION-it is a monster, an evil entity living in our minds and for some actually a part of their brain chemistry, others it is situational-I’ve had them all. I’m in “recovery” and feel so much more alive than ever before in my life-and I’ve been diagosed with depression since I was 17 yrs old and am now over 50 yrs old!! It took a LOT of years of therapy, and DBT, and CPS, and Mindfulness, and meditation, and -you get the picture. Shame on you Therese for giving any credit to depression. And I like alot of your articles!

Sometimes I wonder if I chose this pain, depression,negative thoughts? Or is it just hormonal or even hereditary. Did I open the Pandora box of mental afflictions without realizing that I had awakened a deep dark beast from its slumber which will now devour me.
Am I just deep or a sentimental fool always on a emotional rollercoaster. Will loving myself & positive affirmations free me from this dreadful disease? I have been to the “shrink” during my teen years and did take anti depressants for a short duration but never took the responsibility for coming out of it seriously until I came across “angels” like you. I thought it would go away on it own. Oh God ! How wrong I am…I have to put efforts to come out of this. Thank you Therese.

When a problem exists, try to solve it. If modern psychiatric medicines are not helping, try other alternate therapies. There are efficient healing medicines in Homeopathy for depression. Also methodes like Yoga, Meditation, Pranayama etc. will help, may even heal completely. I have read that long brisk walking can help control depression.

I love what you have to say here. Each individual is different in the way we experience depression, but in the end I think we have all felt the same at some point or another. It makes all the difference in the world to know we are not alone…… I believe it is the first major step. Loneliness can be overbearing in itself if we feel that we are not the “norm” and we are not worthy. Thanks for sharing from the heart…. it takes a unique person to do that these days in this so called “educated” world. Be yourself…. I try to stick by that motto.
Dar

To the writer above who feels she’s lost everything, I’m sorry you’ve had so many health struggles and feel unsupported by your husband and family. I have also felt that way, had two deaths one after the other of loved ones, lost my job/identity/income, health problems, and depression that nobody understood. I have things I do faithfully to prevent and treat depression but my social life needs help. My family has needs that I try to meet but they’re not very good at attending to mine. I’m trying to get out of myself and make new friends, belong to a meditation group, go to church, I’m trying new things. It hurts to not feel close to those you want to be close to but I have to forge new connections. I’ll pray for you and don’t give up trying.

Depression runs in my family as well as acouple of bi-polar thrown in thre. I have always known I have to keep active mentally and I thrive on a crisis in my life. My depression has never been as bad as my moms.. But this second year of my husbands death has been horrible. I usually have alot of family around, and children to foster, to keep my energy levels up but this last year has been horrible. I always get something out of al these write ups. After reading this I will drink less coffee, eat less chocolate and try to get more exercise. Thank you for giving me some small answers to some of the things I have stopped being carefull of. I still need a couple of kids in my home to keep my mind active. Cb

Boy, can I relate to and agree with your top ten list. Especially number one.
Having spent most of my adult life dealing with chronic health problems as a result of
Asbestosis, which should have likely killed me long ago. Being sick so much is just plain
exhausting. There are so many times you’d be happy to just die and be done with it.
And depression is just a by-product.
I once caught a guy stealing the stereo from my van at 3 in the morning. Thinking I had
the drop on him, I yanked the passenger door open, ready to kick his ass.
He came out pointing a .38 at me, saying, “on your belly, M*F*er.”
I was so pissed, I called him an ‘asshole’ and squared off even more. He had to tell me
three times, before I complied.
You see, I was standing on a cold, cement sidewalk, in mid October, in jeans and shoes.
No shirt. Laying face down on it meant I’d likely spend the winter dying of pneumonia. If
you’d ever had a chest cold last for months, you’d understand my fear.
I almost preferred being shot.
Yeah, the upside of chronic illnesses, like depression and such, changes a person’s
perspective on life. To me, most of it has become about ‘survival techniques.’

I really enjoyed your top ten list. It’s nice to know that others are experiencing the same things about depression. I am 46 and can’t remember a time I wasn’t feeling depression. Although I have been taking medicine for the past ten years, the things you mention in your top 10 list have also helped me get through some difficult times. My weakness is coffee and lack of sleep. I know that’s my choice. I really struggle with number 1, fear of death. At times I am thankful for this fear because I don’t think I would be alive today. But at the same time I feel it has controlled my joy for living. I am a Christian man but can’t help feel as if my depression is going to follow me to heaven. I guess it’s because I felt this way all of my life that I don’t know anything else. Anyway, thanks for the great info and I will be looking forward to more of your articles.

Nice blog!
I can relate with less judgemental and more compassionate.I´m a Higly Sensitive Person
But I have notice, that some friends avoid me, because they say I complain a lot.
So being less judgemental and compassionte is for others but it doesn´t seem to be for me. I thought my friends were like me.
¡Might need to keep my complains for me!
Thanks for the blog! At least one doesn´t feel alone!

Thanks VERY much for the post, all your writing is very good, but this one simply *made* my morning for me!! Lots of wonderful “bits”, AND a lovely tagline (Chesterton’s) to carry with me through the day in emails to friends. Yeah, I’m not afraid any more either – tremendously *liberating* ain’t it??? (grin) {{{hugs}}} to you, dearie, and bless ya too.

Dear Therese,
I have been reading your blog for a year now,
Congratulations for the”10 Good Things about Depression” article, very heartfelt and sincere. Thank you.
I am a breast-cancer survivor, mother of 3, celebrating today 7 years since my mastectomy.
I feel such gratitude to be alive today and “lighter”!

Therese, that just lifted my somber mood. I thought I was going to have to cut my off my hair, dye it blue, and wear black all day. It could happen.
I called my Daughter in here and read her reason #9. I am still laughing. Oh that is so me. I am also one heck of a soccer Mom. Who else would intentionally poke holes in their clothes to proudly display her athletic offspring. Now he gets to play at the University level. Oh just wait, they haven’t seen anything like me before.
I just took a little trip to the “Spa”. While not quite as nice as some, the food was good, the dress code was casual wear (no shoes required), and the company was stimulating. Thank you Dr. Evil for stabilizing my medications, its good to be home!

Great top 10!! I can relate. I am much more compassionate to others..that is true. I am still afraid to die, because I want to do so much. Anyway, thank you for getting this out there for all of us to be supportive of eachother.

Great post!!!
There is a silver lining to every rain cloud.
Right now, as I look out my window it is raining heavily. The rain (as well as depression) purges us of our sadness, ironically by allowing us to be with and hold our sadness.
Thanks.
Ben Klempner, MSW
http://www.effectivefamilycommunication.com

I agree, depression has a good side. I too am privy to this feeling. It’s not unusual for me to have bouts of sadness and feeling down. It becomes good when I get the chance to examine my life, where I am and why I’m feeling as such. It also helps me be more appreciative of everything and everyone around me. Somehow, in feeling down, I get to pay attention to the little things and try to find happiness wherever I can.
P.S. Know how you could live more and stay happy. Visit http://www.makemorelivemoregivemore.com.

Great post Therese.

good article. made my day.

Loved it! Thank you for taking the time to write these articles.

Thanks, Therese, for recasting depression-fighting as something like an Olympic sport challenge. I’m a depressive media guy whose career has failed, lying in bed until noon, and maybe I will try to take you up on putting my exercise and diet in order.
Yesterday’s dinner: Broccoli. A cupcake.

Interesting and well written article. I suppose everyone’s a bit different in their perceptions of and response to their own depression. Depression is a challenge and a struggle.
In my case, depression itself had no positive points. I could not concentrate other than on my mindless ruminations. I could not focus my thoughts nor think better. People who claim depression helps in this way succeed not because of depression, but in spite of it. Not every creative genius is depressed. I wonder how much better the depressed ones would be without the depression.
My treatment for depression produced all of the positive I’ve taken away with me. I’m writing better, interacting with strangers better, staying in shape, not worrying about numbers, humorous, and the rest of your ten points, but not because of the depression. I credit my so-far successful therapy for this. While I was depressed there were none of these positives, it’s only through therapy that I’ve developed them. I suspect that if I hadn’t been depressed for 40-odd years, I would also now demonstrate all of these positives without having had to suffer depression to gain them.
I think if you thought about it, your list of ten does not capture the benefits of depression, but rather the benefits of recovering from depression.

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