Ooooh, this is interesting. “We pledge to leave our children alone.” I’m fine with this as long as they don’t do it on babies.
And I love the holidays. Holidays are fun! And I think I’d like to teach them morals, I don’t want them growing up to be criminals.
But otherwise, I think it’s an interesting. Also, I haven’t exactly read the rationale behind these statements so I can’t judge.
PS…More parenting advice http://budurl.com/bapt

When I read the summary of the article I thought, yay! my parenting ways! But oh no, this pledge is insane; way too extreme! I am not a Puritan, but I do want to teach my child morals and values. I read poetry to him and love to send him out to play whether it be a forest or the park, but I’m not goin to leave him alone! And newsflash……parenting does require hard work.

Finally! Some relief that we don’t need to micro-manage our kids or stay inside the box. Less is MORE people! Thank you sharing this book with us parents who are raising “moraly” driven, smart and funny children within the realms of a laid back attitude.

It is the way I raised my children and today they are the kind of people that have a strong inner authority. They are not susceptible to terrorizing external authority figures, whether religious, political, or societal pressures to be like everyone else. They are independent and free thinkers. They are not prone to going along with the crowd. They stand out amongst their friends for their compassion towards others, yet at the same time they are quick to speak up when there is an injustice being done. So I am a firm believer in the idle parenting style. It doesn’t mean you do nothing as a parent. It means you allow your children downtime to be with themselves so they can know themselves better. And what do my children do today? One is a special ed teacher teaching in inner city schools. One is finishing up his masters degree in education. And the other one, who has a masters degree in art, is pursuing her artistic expression of society through fellowships in art institutes. I was a single parent, and worked full time jobs while I raised my children.

OK, this is a great excuse for all the lazy parents that I know to keep on putting themselves first. Great. While SOME of these ideas are fantastic (be creative, don’t hover, let them have down time, get them outside and let them just be…) the “don’t get involved” is ridiculous! The way that my kids learned how to understand the world, people, relationships, morals, values, ethics is because I got involved and always explained, gave rational, gave examples, made creative ways to help them navigate through this world so that they can understand how things work, and who they are and who they would like to grow up to be. The truth is this – yes we all have bad days and depressed days and some people who deal with illness that is chronic struggle – hard – to do the best they can, and that’s alright. But… being a parent IS hard work. It’s not “hard” to “be a parent”… it’s hard work to be a “good” parent – and there is not getting away from that one folks. You reap what you sow.

It boils down to priorities. This style is definitely not going to work for everyone. I’m laid back in many ways with my kids, but not when it comes to teaching self-reliance. They learn to pick up after meals, make their beds, get dressed, say please and thank you…. but also to play, explore, have fun, read, ask questions, etc. I like a nice balance. And for what it’s worth, I am ANTI-MESSY-HOUSE! I can not and will not live in a messy/dirty house. My personality does not allow this Bless the mothers that can, but that’s one thing I positively can not accept.
Oh, and parenting IS hard work. Don’t trust the fool that says it’s not supposed to be. Once you have kids, it’s simply not about YOU anymore.

I would add spiritual input. Scriptures come alive and the stories are played out in everyday life.
Children naturally relate to parables.
Sports are great and I have been a parent coach on and off for nine years. Be positive, but don’t cuddle too much, most sports are agressive, that side of a child needs release. Let them play hard.
Total control is the enemy.

stupid! have fun visiting your bundles of joy in prison!

Oh joy to the world, these are the people whom one day will run the U.S. What the heck sleep late,who cares what the Russians are doing? Heck no I don’t want to do anything with the kids, push them outside and lock the doors. Maybe the neighbor’s will feed them. Can you say “Problems with reality”?

Wow. Those are some really hostile comments — I wonder how **your** kids are going to turn out since you seem to have no sense of humor. Sad.

Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!

Thank you so much for presenting this. I have been home with my 5 and 1 year old for the past month. We have a relaxed day, and we take a nap midday for 2 hours. My girls are calmer and happier I think! My 1 yr old delights and is excited now to ‘take a nap in Mommy’s bed’ instead of her crib. I have been getting a lot of pressure from my husband to entertain them. Why is it that some people feel the need to ‘put on a show’ and entertain them every single day makes one a good parent? I’m not rushed to make meals, and I find that I make healthier choices for them and me, and I get to be creative! We often to plates with variety: cheese slices, grapes, orange slices, cold cuts… we sit together and enjoy a small buffet! I guess I could go on for this for a while, but I just wanted to express my gratitude.

I have been both,i tried the uptight clean freak, don’t touch anything or you will get it dirty parent, I was miserable (it is very stressful keeping everything tidy)and I am sure my kid was not happy either. What is the point of having a home if you can not enjoy it,at least now friends can come over,do art projects and break out into spontaneous pillow fights and have fun.

As long as children are given lots of love, structure and a safe environment I think it’s great to leave them alone to entertain themselves. Let them use their imaginations, don’t give them the impression that the world revolves around them. It will save them a rude awakening when they grow up.

Yes, I have seen the results of this style of parenting. It has been around since the beginning of time. The children become embarrassed to have friends over, become unsure of themselves or elitist. They become angry people and often feel as though they are entitled by a society where in they find no place. Difficulties abound. Society makes use of their unskilled labor, but does not handle the personality dysfunction well.

Grace, sorry I thought we were talking about raising children not clowns. My son is self assured, loved and knows how to show love,makes a’& b’s in school and definitely has a sense of humor and yours ?

If you read the papers and see the news you find that children are being kidnapped and abused every day. Where are the parents when you read about being left alone children at the age of 5 to fend for themselves. The young people of today are in the news everyday, because a parent has been out having a good time while the kids are left unattended and finding guns that are in the house and killing others because the parents don’t have enough sense to lock things up to keep out of the reach of children. Those who have children and don’t want to be bothered with taking care of them should be locked up. A big part of all this is don’t have children if you aren’t interested enough to look after them and let them run wild so you can have fun for yourself.

Wow, there must be a lot of people out there reading Beyond Blue that have never truly experienced a serious case of clinical depression or other chronic illness. I was stunned by so many critical comments! Therese, I really hope you are able to let them roll off your back. There are plenty of us out there who read the article and understood what was being said.

Wow. I finally have a confirmation of something I’ve always suspected. Parenting should be FUN. We recently gave a talk on how very important it is to give our children positive memories, and this comes from our own appreciation of our happy memories in our childhood. Unfortunately, many parents do not have positive memories to draw from, and unconsciously impose their own disregard of this value on their children. I admit to being like this sometimes, prioritizing rules and work over allowing my children to be themselves. It’s hard to be constantly aware of my behavior, but it’s well worth the thought that my children are learning how to value their uniqueness and build their own positive images of life.

My mother never let me run in the street or be rude, but she was a very idle parent. I was not home alone or neglected. But my mother strongly believed that it was not her job to keep me entertained. Her job was to teach me manners, make sure I attended school; she fed me, took me to the doctor, and made sure I had what I needed. Other than that I was on my own. I learned to keep busy by reading, drawing, needlepoint, gardening, and visiting my cousins. The summer months were spent with my four cousins playing board games and dancing to the radio. No adults with endless trips to Disneyland. I learned a great deal from being bored. I learned to be creative. I was not allowed to be destructive either. Kids today tend to be destructive; they break stuff when bored or catch stuff on fire. They make-out or drink. None of this was allowed by my mother.
Now I teach kids to make cool things from paper. Kids have no idea how much fun it can be just to get bored and come up with an art project. I taught myself to cook one day when I wanted cookies and mom wouldn’t go to the store.

I believe I’m going to need to buy this book. I need something to read before sending my kids to science summer camp. The manifesto is proving to be so much like me.

I like this book, I want it. I think its just more about the mindset of not hovering over your kids and letting them explore the world on their own sometimes. They can teach themselves alot of things without mommy breathing down their neck. They need to rely on their own ability to figure things out because as adults thats what their going to have to do. I also think parents need to chill out and let their kids just have fun and not freak over everything. Let em run around and play in mud. Let em roll around on the floor pretending its lava. Its no big deal at all.