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From “Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid: The Movement of Imperfection” by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian (check out their website):
It’s been a banner year!
We began by getting a new minivan complete with a navigation system. It’s been a lifesaver! We have the routes to all the nearest hospitals and pharmacies pre-programmed. With the time we’ve saved from printing out directions, I’m now able to spend some time knitting. I’m just starting out but I made little Rebecca a new sock to chew on. (This has really helped her stop chewing the couch.)
John is doing well. He landed a third job hauling trash, which helps cover all our psychiatric co-pays.
We are so proud of Little Bobby. During his last incarceration, he received the prison’s coveted Inmate of the Month award for his good behavior. And John and I were so impressed by the license plate he made for us for Christmas.
Rebecca is just terrific, too. Her soccer coach has noticed that she’s kicking harder than ever (thought it’s still at the other players). And the other night, she actually sat down and did her homework.
It’s been a bittersweet year, as Felix, our cat, is no longer with us. One of the kids left the door open, and he never came back. John says he’s never seen a cat run so fast.
Well, that’s all the news we have to report for now. Best wishes for a happy, healthy, and hospitalization-free holiday season.
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posted December 22, 2011 at 6:49 am
I loved this! I even wrote one myself – I’m just not going to send it anyone. I’m putting it in an envelope and adding it to my December Daily (scrapbooking) album. Altho as I type this I’m second guessing myself wondering if someday my granddaughters might read it and freak out! (lol) Merry Christmas everyone!!!
posted December 23, 2011 at 2:38 am
I recently came across your site and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Susan
Cure for Sweaty Feet
posted December 23, 2011 at 9:25 am
great blog… I have always wanted to write the “honest” Christmas letter. Someday I might..
posted December 23, 2011 at 10:07 am
Perfect. I must get seven of the “other” letters and I get a headache reading so so so much good news. Why do people do them???? If I wrote a “true” one and sent it out, people would faint. Thanks so much for being out there is cyberspace….Thank you so much. God Bless.
posted December 23, 2011 at 10:11 am
Love it!! I hate getting those sappy ‘our wonderful life” newsletters from folks I know. I actually sent one out a few years back that was a multiple choice one. Very tongue in cheek but not totally. It was great fun, people didn’t know what to believe.
Thanks for this Therese
posted December 23, 2011 at 11:26 am
I have two wonderful children (now ages 19 and 21) who didn’t excel in sports or academics in highschool but are now in college and making decent grades. They both have a tattoo and aren’t the least bit interested in being in a fraternity or a sorority (we live in the south where it’s usually a given!) I couldn’t be more proud of them. They are the most caring, loving and unselfish people I know and I wouldn’t change a thing about them! During their growing up years I got so depressed reading these “perfect family” letters but now I just think “good for them.” (Although I actually received one this year that said “Charles is certainly enjoying his new BMW convertible!” GAG!!!) Better go, gotta hop in my 10 year old PAID FOR Honda and get to Walmart to finish my Christmas shopping! Sign me…Couldn’t be happier!
posted December 23, 2011 at 5:39 pm
If I beleived every single “holiday letter” I receive I would become more depressed then I already am!
They take out all the bad and only include the “good” stuff when the not so great stuff would make everyone realize how much they are like everyone else and actually look forward to seeing the holiday letter.
If you cannot admit the truth why even send out the “all tied up in a pretty bow” letter cause most of us realize there is no way their life is all that perfect.
I wish EVERYONE a better year then they had this year!!
posted December 23, 2011 at 6:40 pm
Short and – real
My younger sister always writes the sappy sweet gag-me Christmas letters – what a bunch of crap. So in the mid-90s I started writing an annual rebuttal to her sappy sweet this-is-so-not-like-it-really-is letters… family looked forward to my “embellished” renditions and my older sister posted ‘em on her website. Haven’t had time to write them the past couple of years (too busy being BP)… maybe next year.
Merry Christmas, Therese!