Dear Therese:
Thank you so much for the blog for today.
I have been dealing with depression for most of my adult life. When I first went to a Psychiatrist, my family and friends thought that I was truly “crazy” according to their own understanding of the term. I was so tired of people saying “get over it”.
Maybe we all are a bit “crazy”. But if it wasn’t for good doctors and therapists, I wouldn’t be here today.
I think most of the people who are not in therapy are the very ones who “should” be. I thank God for your site every day.
You are truly blessed. I am not ashamed of my depression/mental illness/bi-polar diagnoses. I agree that most priests, ministers, church clergy need to really study about mental illness. They don’t have a clue. Then again, if you haven’t walked in my shoes, you don’t have any idea as to what I am feeling.
Keep up the great work that you are doing.
Have a happy, healthy New Year.

I forwarded this post to my priest friend. I, too, had the (mis)fortune of being told by several faith-filled folks that all I needed was Jesus. Even the priest that I was working for questioned my bipolar diagnosis. I resigned from that job. Needless to say, he’s one of the reasons that I’ve been disillusioned with the Catholic Church. Trying to forgive and forget. It’s a process…

Thank you so much for this column today!! Unbelievably, just two or three weeks after mostly unsuccessful ECT therapy (the first one of which I FELT because the anesthesia wasn’t right!), my sister-in-law, the one with a Master’s Degree In Special Ed., called me up to tell me what a BURDEN I have been to the whole family this past year of many hospitalizations. Gee, I can’t tell you how good that made me feel–NOT! Then my other sister-in-law, a psychiatric nurse for God’s sake, tells me that this depression is ‘all my fault’ because I haven’t thought enough positive thoughts, eaten correctly or exercised enough!!! Needless to say, my psychiatrist and my psychologist are furious with them. I have one brother and one son who have supported me through this whole mess. Without them, I would be dead by now. Thank God, my priest friends understand.

thank u so much, gotta love ya

Thank you so much for this post. This has to be said again and again and as loud as possible. I have blogged similar more times than I can recount, but you say it so much more articulately, succinctly and forcefully.

I shall link to this.

Thank you…everyone who suffers from this needs to remember this message…I live my life with people telling me to change my thinking, and when i can’t, I feel like a complete failure and the darker thoughts come…

Most doctors don’t even understand this illness (depression) unless they have it. Yes, God has helped me but I haven’t been healed yet so I suffer with guilt that somehow I’m not a good enough Christian to overcome the darkness. I usually try and put on a ‘happy face’ for the benefit of others and sometimes I can’t so I become reclusive. I think this vicious cycle is what leads some to suicide – the not being understood and told it’s all in your head. To which I say, “Yes, its’ in my brain and out of my control so educate yourself and quit adding to my torment.” Can you imagine telling a cancer patient that if they had enough faith they wouldn’t have cancer in the first place. Or better yet, someone with a neuro- muscular disorder that’s it’s all in their head?

I’ve been on Zoloft 50mg for over two years. I am a more relaxed and easy-going person because of Zoloft. Prior to starting the medicine, I was anxious all the time, worried constantly about everything, and suffered periods of depression and hopelessness. Now I am a better wife, friend, and person in general.
Ronald Draw
Anxiety-drugstore.net

Yep it sure can can get muddy.. I like the ‘Jesus save me from your followers!’ I’m a follower but I do know the hard road of educating others that emotional and mental challenges are not a weakness spiritually. Am slowly educating those around me. The more we do the better for all.

Thank you so much for this article – I took have been in church sermons where the minister says the only thing wrong with people on Prozac is they don’t have Jesus – and then you start questioning your faith – and I end up in a tailspin and trying to get back in line with Jesus because I so want to make it to him when I leave here; I’ve been told I don’t have enough faith, I have a demon, that my negative thoughts are causing it (as well as that my negative thoughts caused my son’s murder – he was 2500 miles away when it happened); that I’m too blessed to be stressed, that even if my son was murdered I should take solace in the fact that he with Jesus and pull myself together; by the way – people don’t know how hard it is to keep going, espeically in light of my son’s murder, but the fact that I don’t want my son’s children or my duaghter or her duaghter to find me like I found my mother and the grace of God gets me thru.

I don’t understand why if we’re dealing with depression we have a demon and we’re ostracized in church – but if you are on heart medication or taking chemo for cancer or some other disease it’s okay.

Why did God make us so different that Church folks (as well as the real world) push us almost to the bring

It’s not just a risk of suicide. In a town where I used to live a parishioner enticed to stop medical treatment in favor of god’s will brutally murdered her two young children. Hallucinations of the devil’s voice were what drove her she said. She got life in prison. No responsibility for her “spiritual advisors.”

Why is ‘religion’ a thousand zillion years behind the rest of the world?

Thank you!!!

I too attended Catholic schools and churches growing up – as I got older, my depression/anxiety growing with me, I began to see a large part of my inability to seek treatment/stay in treatment etc. was guilt based – and shame based – that I, like so many others reading this have heard, was soley to blame – I was not eating healthy, I wasn’t asking God for help in the “right” way, I was lazy, difficult…keep filling in the blank…I have come to realize in the past year that I cannot think/pray/eat/love/work my way out of a disease that has plagued me since childhood (I am 45), has effected every single part of my life..I cannot ignore the biological & genetic facts that stare me in the face w/those in my family who have suffered or do suffer w/depression, anxiety, true bipolar. Many uniformed & unefflected people to NOT understand being down is not depression, feeling a little nervous about a job interview is not anxiety that stalks you in the frozen food section while you are trying to hold it together enough to pick out a cheap pizza. So, for me, in 2012, I have decided to accept I am this way for whatever reason and to reach out in a serious and commited way to services and medications that can help me live a life that is meant to be lived without so many minutes, hours and days being fretted away, turning into nothingness which exacerbates the problems. If the medications fail, at least I will have tried, if therapy doesn’t help, at least I will have gone..but nothing over the counter, no easy listening CD will be the salve for me – like many on here who struggle, our struggle is too deep for superficial treatment & like many on here, I have resisted getting help because of thinking, mistakenly, that I should be able to control…everything..well, here’s to a better year, a smarter year and a happier year – partly because of this blog. Keep it going.

Thanks so much for this.

You have (and are!) such an amazing gift, Therese! Thank you for this blog post. I, too, have been told so many times if I just pray more, believe more, etc. I’ll be healed from my mental illness. And that makes me so darn mad! If I’m feeling brave enough, I usually tell those people that God is the one who gave people the genius to develop the medications and therapies that I need in order to stay alive. (And then I say a prayer for them, that God will save them from their ignorance.)

Great column, Therese—one your very best, and that is saying something. On good days, I can see melancholy as a gift but that is the result of a lot of hard work, good fortune (like medical insurance) therapy, and, at times, medication. But bipolarity, major depression, and schizophrenia are not gifts any more than cancer, alcoholism, or seeing your loved ones murdered are. Thanks for being a voice of sanity (thats right, Therese–you are a voice of sanity!) And happy new year…

Right on Sista!

I have to do whatever it takes to stay focused, have less anxiety and depression, and to be what I hope God’s will is for me.

Thank you Therese! Your post validates my struggle. I’m fighting a battle with an invisible foe and if I don’t win day in and day out, it’s not because I’m not trying hard enough. You make the burden lighter.

Excellent article. This has been my opinion since the 1980′s, and I thought I was all alone til now. Thank you….

Holy cr*p… I’m going to have to come bak in and read this after I’ve fed my zoo…

As usual, thank you for the brain-full, Therese.

To Therese, you are a diamond of honesty and I love your writings. I’ve shared so many of your experiences and the ones I didn’t experience myself, I experience through your words. We are here for a reason, purpose and to be the best we can be. Awesome post.

To Christina W. I share much of your world as well. I’m 60 yrs young now and can relate
even to choosing the right pizza. We now use Walkie Talkie’s in the store because I find it too overwhelming any other way. We have to be ourselves, but in the best sense we can be. Wishing you Well!

Thank You. I cried and felt not alone in the thoughts that I am a failure when I cannot pray and when I still believe and yet find no peace in my prayers. I pray and pray and I hide the sorrow and weariness and everyone thinks how strong I am, and come to me, and I wish the Lord would answer when I come to HIm. God Bless.

Well, bless your heart for being on the computer at the ungodly hour of 6am. you are my hero!
I have long enjoyed your writing, but especially enjoyed this particular topic. Thanks for sharing

I thought this was an absolutely wonderful article, and it made me feel not so alone. I understand people feeling helpless and wanting to help those who experience anxiety and depression by offering healthy solutions to our “problems”. But, it is very frustrating (anxiety provoking and depressing) to be told all the good advice about vitamins, exercise, prayer, give it to God, etc. and don’t trust pharmaceuticals when you are experiencing the living hell of depression and anxiety. Sometimes vitamins, exercise, prayer/God isn’t enough — sometimes an imperfect unnatural med that God had man create needs to be taken before a person decides to end their life because the illness is so crippling. Thank God for people like Theresa who care enough about others to provide articles to help us to not feel so weak, alone, and hopeless. Thank you and God bless you, and could you please pray for me to find a med to help me raise my 5 children without me struggling so desperately?

Beautiful and thoughtful post-thank you!

Amen!

I have fallen for a woman that has been and is affected by depression. I do not understand it and think I make too little of it. I too suffered from depression and somehow overcame it so I encourage her to just be strong and it will be ok. She is deeply Catholic and a praying woman. I love her. But, I need to understand depression better, for her and for me to be her man, the one she deserves. Would you recommend some reading material for me please? thank you and I hope the peace of the Lord continues to bless you and your work.

Thank you for having the courage to highlight in a public forum the guilt and subsequent damage that can be inflicted upon depressives who are told by the Clergy that ” the word ” and it’s application in their everyday life is sufficient to relieve their suffering . This sort of counsel permiates the Christian evangelical movement to the extent that depression in seen as a lack of sincere prayer& study while nothing could be further from the truth .

The spiritual did have an effect on my depression . I do take medication for the Bipolar Affective Disorder . I know some that don’t and they do quite well. Most of the people I know admit to having had poor spiritual connections . For me it is body , mind . heart and soul

Thank you for this. I wish that the stigma didn’t exist. At times, I think that it’s getting better, but there are more times than not..that people not suffering..just don’t get it. I see it on a daily basis. They say they understand..but they don’t have a clue. I have also had people tell me to get with God. It does feel good when you can give it all to him…(oh shoot..I didn’t capitalize the H in him)…I do feel bad about that… but I am spiritually incorrect as well. Still learning and I do believe or am trying. But, my own dad told me that if I just prayed the rosary every night and went to confession..I would get better. Thank you for this article. Thank you for helping to break the stigma. I wish more people “got it.” Thank you.

http://www.amazon.ca/Darkness-My-Only-Companion-Christian/dp/1587431750 – written by an Episcopal priest who lives with bipolar disorder.

http://www.darkmyroad.org/the-book/ Written by a Lutheran pastor who has lived with depression. You can download the book onto your computer in PDF form or apparently you can also order the hard copy of the book from the 1-800 number at the bottom of the link.

I’ve read both books and enjoyed them both. I Trust When Dark My Road’s author has a Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/darkmyroad

Wow thank you so much for an amazing article.
You don’t know how much it helps knowing I’m not
the only one who feels this way. I am totally sharing this one! I want to thank you for being such an open and honest writer, I appreciate all of your articles.

What a WONDERFUL article! I am in complete & total agreement with the author. I personally believe I have a beautiful spirit indide this physical body. So for me the belief that I would need both to recover from any illness or to just lead a well balanced life for that matter comes easily. But having said that do I expect that everyone should or will feel the same way??? NO How we live our lives is entirely personal. I would hope we would wish each other well because it is the good & decent thing to do sadly there will always be the “my way or the highway people” who will never change. In my opinion these r some of the most toxic people out there, especially for anyone in a vulnerable state like mental illness.

Thank you so much for writing this. It came at the exact moment when I was feeling like a failure because I can’t, or couldn’t seem to get it together like the other people who seem perfect because they have Jesus and because of their deep beliefs everything is just darn perfect. For those who believe as I do, I truly believe that if our souls did choose the life we have right now, then we chose the life of depression and other ills that may have befallen us because we were the souls that were the strongest and higher level to begin with and probably thought we could get past this. This is what I think at least. I just want to thank you for writing this, because it helps me so much right now. You are a God Send.

Many on my friends (and I) feel my meds aren’t doing their job. I have talked to my psychiatrist with no avail. I am praying, talking to God daily, meditatin, reading positive books (affirmations) and I still feel out of control(anxiety, anger, frustration, etc. what else is there?

Kate: talk to your psychiatrist again and tell him/her you want to try other meds. If he/she won’t do that, get another psychiatrist. My psychiatrist tried all kinds of meds with me until we found some that worked. I still feel depressed sometimes and want to withdraw but I do feel better than I did.
Collette: Thanks for the info about “I Trust When Dark My Road”; I have downloaded it and can’t wait to read it.
Therese: thank you for an informative article. I am so glad I found this blog. And look, I wouldn’t trust anything Tom Cruise said after seeing him going nuts and jumping on Oprah’s couch . I am sorry that you didn’t have the support you needed from ministers and other Christians. As Christians, we are to be Jesus’ hands, feet and voice in the world. We need to think of what Jesus would do in a situation like this. He sure wouldn’t say “snap out of it”. I have to say that I had a different experience with my depression. My family, friends and fellow church goers who knew about my depression supported me. They didn’t try to make me think that my illness was my fault. But they did encourage me to get out of the house and do things. I do feel that God allowed me to go thru this despair to show me how much I needed to get back in communion with him (I was still going to church but sometimes I was just going thru the motions). God reached his righteous right hand down into that deep dark pit of depression I was in and ever so slowly lifted me up until I was on solid ground. I wanted to be yanked out of that pit immediately but God had a purpose for doing it the way He did. It taught me that He is by my side walking with me or carrying me when I cannot walk as the poem “Footprints in the Sand” says. I need to depend upon Him every day thru bad days and good days. I try to read my devotions, Bible and pray to God more now. With the help of God (most of all), my psychiatrist and therapist, medications, and my family and friends I do feel better. Thanks again for the blog.

As a fellow Catholic, I can understand your point of view. You’re right on target with your story. The key component here is that it should be “God AND…”, rather than “God ONLY”. I say, use everything at your disposal and believe in whatever helps you, to the exclusion of nothing. It’s all good…

“I’ve been politically incorrect for as long as I can remember.” Ha, ha! This is hysterical! Me too, me too!

But seriously, I find (having suffered through some very serious and intense bouts of bipolar depression- which I’ve read is an even MORE intense type of depression than the more regular clinical depression) having spiritual practices in place certainly do help.

And clearly medication is not the end all be all. I mean, on the other side of the issue, there is the incessant and nearly religious nagging from lay people and the medical community, “Just take your medication, are you taking your medication?” Like these are miracle cure all pills. They are not. They cannot cure depression. At most, they ameliorate the effects a bit. For us bipolars, antidepressants can flip that manic switch, so – watch out!

On the whole, I find medication to be really frickin hit or miss. Sometimes medication works swell, sometimes just half-assed, and sometimes NOT AT ALL.

And so for us bipolar-ites, I strongly believe, we need a combination of medication as well as therapy and or spiritual practices to keep us on an even keel. I believe this so powerfully, I even wrote a book about it: The Way Through, Lessons learned on Life, Love and the Journey.

http://www.lylu.co/?page_id=46

This is basically a book about my journey of mentally and spiritually thinking my way out of depressions so deep, I never thought I’d make it to age 40. I thought, like Lord Byron, I’d be done by age 32, for sure. But some how I beat the depression beast- and here I am, alive and kicking. I still get depressed, but no where near the levels that I used to experience. I believe that I owe most of my success to cognitive behavioral therapy- which is basically a retraining of one’s own thought process.

And so, I believe, how and what you think can really have a very powerful impact on the severity of one’s depression;
For those of us who suffer from it, we all should take responsibility for our own thoughts and make that a part, a big part even, of our treatment regimen.

Namaste!

(The Light in Me Recognizes the Light in You- All of You, even the Depressed Ones!)

Amber Lisa

What a timely article! I have just finished a manuscript that highlights the challenges I and other family members have encountered with mood disorders, including the story of my mother’s and brother’s suicides.

My own pastor is currently recovering from a serious bipolar episode. Recently, someone at church said that if you are a Christian, then you can’t be depressed. Christmas is over but I would like to say, Bah, humbug – if you are a Christian, then you can’t have cancer, heart disease, diabetes, arthritis….

I appreciate your candid article. Christians don’t speak out enough about these health challenges. It’s time to rise up and educate the rest of the world that physical illness AND mental illness are not due to a lack of faith – they are a product of the world we live in, the environment, a world that is no longer perfect because of sin. Some of us misfire in the brain, some in the heart, some in the kidneys, some in the cells. Let’s be there to support others in whatever they struggle with, not make them feel worse than they already do.

My buddies sister is a hardcore Atheist, going out of her way to mock and ridicule religion and god. She’s been in and out of hospitals for trying to “kill” herself several times with sleeping pills. She claims to have uncontrollable depression. “the meds don’t work for me she says”. Maybe because it’s her and nothing she can’t control. Not long ago she betrayed her best friend, having an affair with her husband. Long story short the cheaters are now married, she’s pregnant with his kid and had tried to “kill” herself twice during the pregnancy. Uncontrollable depression or a healthy dose of karma and guilt? No amount of science can cure deep betrayal. Admitting her sins aloud to God might free her from her guilt. Or maybe she’ll screw up, take a few too many pills next time and kill herself and that bs baby and die the defiant, proud Atheist that has clearly been working wonders for her lost, lonely, miserable soul.

I felt myself getting angry when I read this. My first experience with a priest related to my depression was so horrible, I completely left the Catholic church. Many years later I had a very healing experience at that same church after that priest had left but it definitely left a scar. I now go to a different church where the minister, just last Sunday, included people struggling with depression in the list of people to pray for, along with the unemployed, people serving in the military overseas, etc. I nearly fell out of my pew. It was so validating to hear that.