Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

Life Is Like a Game of Candy Land

posted by Beyond Blue

candyland.jpg

“Mama always said life is like a box of chocolates,” said Forrest Gump in the 1994 film. Yeah, well I think it’s more like a game of Candy Land.

We’ve been averaging about three games a day in our house ever since the kids got the board game for Christmas. And every game the rules change depending on who has the deck of cards.

“I go first, and I get the ice-cream card,” Katherine informs me. “Then you go, and you get the gingerbread card, okay?” She tucks the gingerbread card in back of the ice-cream card in the big pile on my bedroom floor.

“That’s not how the game works,” I explain. “You have to shuffle the cards so that you don’t know what you’re getting … That’s part of the fun.”

“But what if I get all the way to Snow Flake Lake and then I pick the gingerbread man and have to go back all those spaces?” My 5-year-old is clearly petrified, as she should be, because that is certainly a possibility.

She thinks a moment and then asks me, “Well if I pick the gingerbread, will you go back with me, so that I’m not alone?” She flashes the droopy, puppy-dog eyes that she saves for such occasions and I am incapable of forming the consonant “n.”

“Sure,” I say, giving into very codependent and enabling behavior.

Eric shakes his head.

“Absolutely not,” he says.

“Look, we play by the rules or we don’t play at all … “

That directive is followed by thoughts of what beliefs and values comprise our parenting philosophy:

“Do we really want our kids believing that life is like that … one gumdrop and ice-cream card after another if that’s what you order? What happens when she loses her job because the housing market is in the toilet and so therefore has to start scrubbing down her own toilets and eating grilled cheese for dinner?”

He’s got a point.

“All right, then we will only play with these cards,” Katherine says, as she hides all the pink cards (the gingerbread, candy cane, gumdrop, peanut, lollipop, and of course the ice-cream card … the guys with all the power).

“Bring those cards back here,” I tell her.

“They are bad cards,” she explains. “All of them are bad except for the ice-cream.”

Bad? I don’t know about that. Uncertain? Yes. And uncertain can feel bad, especially right now, in this economic crisis when you feel like you were three squares away from Candy Castle (or retirement) only to be sent back to the bloody gingerbread man.

You can be winning the game by twenty squares and then lose a turn because you landed on a licorice space; you may get an unexpected break by landing on the rainbow trail or gumdrop pass, but then your competitor picks the peanut card and gets to hang out in peanut acre while you’re stuck in lollipop woods. It all seems so random, and, on certain days, so unfair.

But maybe that’s the point. To try to enjoy the surprise and try to adjust, ever so gracefully, to the hand of cards we pick.

Click here to subscribe to Beyond Blue and click here to follow Therese on Twitter and click here to join Group Beyond Blue, a depression support group. Now stop clicking.



You Might Also Like...
Previous Posts

Therapy Notes: Give Amy a Bottle
From my therapy notebook: I now know who to blame for my feelings of panic and anxiety … Amy. It’s all her fault. That’s what I call my amygdala, the delinquent cluster of neurons in the limbic system considered by most neurobiologists as the fear center of the human body, like the

posted 6:47:25am Apr. 25, 2013 | read full post »

8 Ways to Overcome Envy
I know that the fastest way to despair is by comparing one's insides with another's outsides, and that Max Ehrmann, the author of the classic poem "Desiderata," was absolutely correct when he said that if you compare yourself with others you become either vain or bitter, or, as Helen Keller put it:

posted 6:00:41am Apr. 23, 2013 | read full post »

Therapy Notes: Forecast Some Backsliding
From my therapy notebook: The path to mental health is an uneven process: for every two steps forward, you move one and a half back. But if you know this before you start walking, you’ll be less tempted to throw up your arms at the first relapse and say “to hell with it!” My psychiatrist

posted 6:39:32am Apr. 18, 2013 | read full post »

Getting Through the Rough Spots
Here is a video I made a awhile back on getting through the rough spots. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZnUjigfju8[/youtube] Join me at A Blog of Hope.

posted 6:40:12am Apr. 16, 2013 | read full post »

Some Quotes on Solitude and Self-Nurturing I Like
At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh or fleshless; Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is, But neither arrest nor movement. And do not call it fixity, Where past and future are gathered. Neither movement from nor towards, Neither ascent nor decline. Ex

posted 6:08:17am Apr. 15, 2013 | read full post »

Advertisement
Comments read comments(8)
post a comment
Shelly

posted August 18, 2011 at 8:37 am


“But maybe that’s the point. To try to enjoy the surprise and try to adjust, ever so gracefully, to the hand of cards we pick.”

EVER SO GRACEFULLY

yes.

Great analogy.



report abuse
 

Sam Gyura

posted August 18, 2011 at 9:08 am


I’d make the crappest parent of the highest order. I’d say ‘okay’ all the time. Therese, with all due respect….you know I love your articles….but for the love of god STOP QUOTING SHIT MAINSTREAM COMMERCIAL AMERICAN MOVIES!!!!They’re not real. they’re schlock! PLEASE?!



report abuse
 

Lady Delphinium

posted August 18, 2011 at 9:36 am


GREAT POST! I love your Candy Land analogy!



report abuse
 

Razz2

posted August 18, 2011 at 10:29 am


Yes….life is exactly like a game of “Candyland”!! You made me smile with this post today, which is a good thing as smiles are in short supply lately. :) Not that I’m getting ALL the BAD cards, but I’m certainly getting my share of them.

On a side note – I had a 20 yr. career in Early Childhood Education and Rehab. I never waffled on the rules but I was some times very good at cheating so the child could win. Funny thing, none of them ever called me on it!



report abuse
 

JiLLB

posted August 18, 2011 at 10:38 am


This is a great analogy. You’re so creative, Therese!

I also laughed and added in (in my overactive brain, of course) that for some of us, life is also like Shoots and Ladders. Hmmm, I wonder if there is a way to mix the two?

Thanks as always, Therese! I hope you’re feeling better – at least at the very moment you’re reading this, but hopefully for a long, long time :-)



report abuse
 

Renee Coppernoll

posted August 21, 2011 at 7:32 pm


Great point!!! I also play candyland about 2-3 times a day in my house. I never thought of that point that uncertainty and unknowing is what scares us. That is when bad decisions and bad judgements can be made because our need to control the situation. Instead of relying on faith and the powers at be we try to play the cards in our favor verus trying to handle obstacles as they come. As a control freak this is something I have been working on vigorously while somedays I win and somedays I don’t. I think as long as we are aware, all we can do is try to follow are hearts.



report abuse
 

Anne S.

posted August 22, 2011 at 8:14 am


Loved your post! Seems as if there can be life lessons in the simplest of things!



report abuse
 

Gary W.

posted August 22, 2011 at 2:51 pm


Thank you so much for sharing this article. I am a father who is living separately from his 7-year-old son Matthew (He lives with his mother, and his step-sister and her 3-year old boy Christian). Presently I am doing my best to get ready for a mini-vacation with my son, his mother, her sister, and her three teenagers, into the Poconos about two hours away. I will make every attempt to apply your “Candyland” philosophy to the next few days that we spend together, as i feel (as does my estranged wife) that a child’s creative spirit should be allowed to blossom, grow, and flourish… Thanks again for sharing your
insight so poignantly. :^



report abuse
 

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.





Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.