If you’ve been reading Beyond Blue with any regularity, you know Larry Parker, because Larry is my most, um, vocal and frequent, commenter. He is extremely intelligent. Philosophical and sophisticated brains like his are the reason I kept my mouth shut in theology class. I let boys and girls like him duke it out with the professor over original sin or the problem of evil or how God can be both compassionate and just as I sat back and doodled in my notebook—or scribbled the different symbols of the Holy Trinity--saying to myself, "It’s all a mystery anyway, guys."
Minds like his remind me why I should have studied harder for the SAT.
If you want to know more about Larry, you should check out his blog hosted on Beliefnet’s Community at http://community.beliefnet.com/doxieman122. There he has written some fabulous posts that give Beyond Blue readers a wider context with which to understand his comments here. I have included two of his journal entries or posts following this interview. i
1) Okay, Larry. You’ve expressed your complicated relationship with God on many Beyond Blue posts, but it wasn’t until I read your journal or blog entry called "Wrestling With G-d" that I fully understood your perspective on faith. In that entry you write this:
I guess you'd have to say I'm still a theist, and more of a lapsed Catholic/Christian than an agnostic or atheist, simply because 1. I do care, badly, whether there is a G-d and 2. I believe there is a soul, whether it is destroyed on earth (if there is a h*ll, and people go there upon death, I don't think Satan even has a soul to destroy by that point ...) or preserved and elevated to heaven. And some theologians would say that the very fact that one doubts means that one admits there is a possibility of G-d; therefore, look at the positive -- one actually has faith. . . . OK. Nevertheless, my faith is a weak one right now. Or -- at most -- one that is constantly wrestling with G-d, as Jacob did famously in Genesis 32.
You do wrestle with G-d so much in your writing. It’s wonderful. I hate to point to you and say “Believer. Believer. Sticks and stones may break my faith but you’re still a believer. . ., ” but isn’t it the people who DON’T wrestle with God who get into trouble? Isn’t the wrestling itself a form of prayer?
(with thanks to David Kuo of Bnet's "J-Walking" blog for the inspiration ... and apologies in advance to my non-Catholic/Christian friends online and off ...)
David Kuo, the former White House aide who has turned sharply critical of President Bush for not putting his money (and belief) where his mouth was when it comes to faith-based initiatives, is close friends with an evangelical preacher from the Twin Cities of Minnesota named Rev. Greg Boyd.
Through Kuo's blog, I've heard tapes of Boyd's sermons. And, being raised Catholic, I'm frankly allergic to the style. The only saving grace :-) to the constant, staccato "Can I get an Amen?"'s is that he has a Fargo accent rather than an oleaginous Southern one a la Falwell or Robertson (or, from a more forgiving tradition, Joel Osteen ...). I can assure (or disappoint) my friends reading this I will never convert to evangelical Protestantism.
Since I wrote a valedictory to the city of New Brunswick in one of my last posts, I thought I would share another valedictory -- the thank you letter I just posted on the listserv of my support group, where I have been a member for a year and a group leader (facilitator) for the last six months.
Just for clarity's sake: DBSA is not formally a 12-step group, but rather a mutual aid and self-help group. Its meetings do run a bit like a 12-step group, though.
The biggest benefit to being a member of a support group, in my mind, is that depression leaves people so isolated -- emotionally, and sometimes literally -- that the very act of simply sitting in a room together and hearing the stories of others who are in the same boat can be incredibly empowering.
My best Christmas was the first year that my dad and mom were separated--I was in sixth grade--and my dad came over after Christmas Eve mass and gave my mom a beautiful diamond necklace, which I thought meant that they were getting back together. My worst Christmas was the year after, when I realized they weren't.
WARNING: I do not look like my chipper (manic) self in this video. And I wasn't going to let you see me looking this way, but then I got an e-mail from Beyond Blue reader Nancy, and she was really struggling, and, well, I thought I owed it to you to show you how I look and feel many days, and what helps me at those times. Because of Nancy, I remembered that Beyond Blue isn't about looking pretty on video, but about being real, and she gave me the courage to do just that.
So this is a double video week. This one's for Nancy. Thank you for giving me the courage to publish an ugly but honest shot. Hang in there.
Thanks to Beyond Blue reader Becky P. who explained the difference between perseverance and steadfastness on the comment board of "Dear God: On Perseverance": I had a really hard weekend and I've noticed those too well known symptoms of my...
Two other comments got me thinking about how perseverance is really an antidote to the curse of perfectionism that poisons so many of us with creatively-formed brains (isn't that a nice way of saying it?). On the comment board of...
I mentioned last week that I will be blogging about episodes of "Saving Grace." I have two additional holiday features. For each day in December, I’ll provide a "Holiday Survival Thought," just a fun way of reminding everyone (myself included)...
Yesterday on the way to David’s kindergarten: "Mommy, why are we walking to school today?" "There are going to be a lot of cars downtown because the leaders of 40 different countries are going to meet at the Naval Academy....
Over the weekend, I was reading Beyond Blue reader Cathy’s interesting blog, "Growing Curious." She described her not-so-great Thanksgiving in a wonderful post called "This Is Your Brain on PTSD": I know I can be dramatic and all, but Thanksgiving...
Here's another of Cathy's post that I identified with. She's right. Sometimes life is easier BEFORE therapy, back when you blissfully ignore the problems. Once you wake up to a Thanksgiving table full of dysfunctional folks (and we ALL are...
Below are 10 forms of twisted thinking according to David Burns, M.D., author of "the Feeling Good Handbook." Another great resource for cognitive behavioral therapy is Recovery, Inc. Founded by Abraham Low, this program teaches techniques to analyze negative thoughts...
Dear God, In St. Paul’s letter to the Colossians (1:12-20), we read that each of us, your children here on earth, has a trust fund (yah!): Brothers and sisters: Let us give thanks to the Father, who has made you...
Composed by Welsh poet Dylan Thomas in 1951 Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end...
I've said this in prior posts: I don't do stores in between Halloween and New Year's. It's not good for my health. So I'm not shopping today. I'm doing the second most dangerous activity to my health ... traveling. Therefore,...
For those of you brave enough to walk inside a Toys-R-Us today, here is a prior post on how the Gospel of Luke might be able to save your sanity if too many toys start talking to you. To read...
Courtesy of my sister-in-law: Recently I received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. I tried and...
And courtesy of Beyond Blue reader Nancy: I am thankful for the wife who says, "Hot dogs for supper" Because she is home with me, not someone else. I am thankful for the husband who is on the sofa being...
1. A loving God I can’t hear most of the time. 2. A faithful and devoted husband who lets me publish our sex life online and allows me to share his dance techniques with my Beyond Blue readers. 3. Two...
I'm always looking for stories that will console me about my lack of cooking aptitude and talent. So this Associated Press story was clipper! "See, Eric, you don't want me to cook, really you don't." To read the full AP...
I became a Holly Hunter fan back in 1993 when she starred in "The Piano" as a mute woman who leaves her native Scotland with her daughter and her piano. Music was the way to her soul, and Holly...
Back on my post "16 Ways Depression Is Like a Pumpkin," Beyond Blue reader Kathy wrote this: I have been reading Beyond Blue for awhile. You may give hope to people with minimum to mild depression. But apparently you have...
I wanted to share Beyond Blue reader Julia's comment that she wrote on the message board of my post "Dear God: On Getting the Right View" for two reasons: I was taken aback by her beautiful articulation of what it's...
Also intriguing was Beyond Blue reader Mary's comment back on my post "Mother Teresa: My Saint of Darkness and Hope": I remember once reading in an article that said that people who are depressed have a more realistic picture of...
Dear God, Man oh man is there is a lot of doom and gloom in Luke’s Gospel reading for today (Luke 21:5-19). I thought I had my anxiety under control until I read the part where Jesus said, “All that...
Sir Thomas Foxwell Buxton, the British Abolitionist, once wrote that "with ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable." This EVEN applies to those brave souls who go for it, ALL of it, on "American Idol." In my prior...
This week for Beyond Blue’s series "How Do You Move Beyond Blue?" I interview a beautiful young woman I met at the BlogHer convention in Chicago. She’s the accomplished, popular chick I told to slow down because she’s on...
I think this is my favorite blog post of Rita's because it addresses that feeling we all encounter ... "I'm so blessed ... so why am I depressed?" (Hey, that rhymes! blessed and depressed ... cool!) I've been reframing my...
I loved this post of Rita's as well, especially these two paragraphs, arguing that eating disorders are NOT selfish: Eating disorders are selfish, and that's why it's so hard for people to be understanding. Outwardly, it seems the afflicted person...
Last year I did a bit of research on how to eat responsibly at Thanksgiving thanks to a writing assignment for the Health Journal of "Ladies’ Home Journal." After interviewing Ruth Frechman, Spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association, and...
In her national bestseller "Potatoes Not Prozac," Kathleen DesMaisons offers a seven-step dietary plan for sugar-sensitive people like me. I've tried to implement her suggestions into my diet because, as a recovering drunk and depressive, sugar can throw me...
Whenever I hear the words "healthy" and "recipe" together, I get skeptical. It sounds an awful lot like "sweat-less exercise" or "tear-free therapy." But the "healthy" recipes listed on the Better Homes and Gardens website sounded quite delicious and...
Yeah! We've made Psych Central's top-ten list for depression blogs. I've included the post below. You'll see that three of my blogging buddies also made the list: James Bishop of Finding Optimism, Katherine Stone of Postpartum Progress, and Douglas...
Some food is on your side! Yahoo! And not just carrots and raw veggies. I found the following "Psychology Today" article through Revolution Health. It shows the effectiveness of omega-2 fatty acids against depression. My doctor actually told me this...
Due to technical problems on YouTube, my video is botched up and I haven't figured out how to fix it. So I'll save it for next week or the following week. Sorry!!! I know ... it's Wednesday Video day. To...
My editor, Health editor Holly Rossi (check out her homepage here), leads a group on Beliefnet’s Community called "Foods to Feed the Soul." Here’s a description: We all have our "comfort foods," from mashed potatoes to roast chicken to...
I apologize to all Beyond Blue readers who took offense to my post, "40 Ways to Keep Your Lover." I should have provided a qualifier that I was merely having fun with Paul Simon’s idea of linking directives to a...
After reading the newest study on obesity—that the risk for obesity increased 171 percent (that wasn’t a typo!) among persons with obese friends—I realized the wisdom of my moms words when she told my sisters and me in high school...
Thanks to reader Stephanie who sent me "It Is Better To Be Alone, Than In the Wrong Company" awhile back in an e-mail. It expresses the same wisdom that my mom articulated when she told me to "stick with the...
Who would have thought friendship would be so difficult once you leave your cozy college campus when you can catch up with friends on the way to class or in the dining hall over a cup of Jo. Now, like...
"Isn’t personal conversation with girlfriends a good thing?" asks Washington Post Staff Writer Laura Sessions Stepp in a past story, "Enough Talk, Already." Yes and no. This is what she found out: Social scientists are realizing that while talking may...
Dear God, I have to be honest. I understood this week’s gospel about as well as I comprehended Sophocles’s "Oedipus Rex" and Aeschylus’s "Prometheus Bound" back in college, so I’m grasping at literary themes much like an engineering major thrown...
I really like what my friend James from "Finding Optimism" wrote on the message board of my post, "Marriage Is a Discipline," regarding how to effectively keep his spouse around: My wife and I have been married for 13 years....
I joked about the woman in the gospel being bipolar only because I can't imagine the patience it takes to live with a manic-depression. Anna Bishop, James's wife (from "Finding Optimism") has written five outstanding posts on what it's like...
I just wanted to thank each and every veteran on this Veteran's Day for all their service to this country. And I also wanted to say those veterans suffering from mental illnesses--and there are many of them--are surely in my...
This week, for Beyond Blue’s series, "How Do You Move Beyond Blue?" I am interviewing John D., who is a fellow mental-health blogger. His site, "Storied Mind," is full of insights on a variety of topics: anger, tears, marriage, workplace...
John's post, "The Longing to Leave," is one of the most insightful pieces I've ever read about how depression can really mess up a marriage. Because when a person plummets into a depression, his first reaction is to look around...
Another blog post I read with interest was John's piece about how his depression affects his work performance. I've wanted to talk about that more on Beyond Blue, but frankly that's more difficult for me to expose to readers than...
I have a few more people in mind to interview for Beyond Blue's "How Do You Move Beyond Blue?" series. That should take me through the year. In January, though, I'm wondering if I should shake it up a bit--maybe...
The sticker system I’ve been using on David—where he gets a sticker for good behavior, which translates into money toward a toy--has been working so well that last night I started Eric on one. We have, in our house, what...
My good friend, Sue, celebrates 55 years of marriage today. I asked her what, more than anything else, kept her and her husband together for so long. "Compromise," she said. "And friendship." "Oh, thank God," I replied, "I thought you...
Reader Babs shared the following story with me back in June. The information hoarder I am, I filed it to use when I hit the topic of marriage. Voila! See? Clutter can come in handy! One day I was driving...
I also printed out reader Marty’s comment. Back on the message board of "The Myth of Safe Sex." Because I found it consoling. Oh my god! There’s hope for me!?! You used the phrase "debunks the assumption that good sex...
Related to the conversation on the message board of yesterday's post, "No Joking About Crazy (Unless You're Crazy)," here's an interesting piece from the "Washington Post" on the disparity of coverage between health-care insurance benefits for those battling a mental...
Also in yesterday's "Washington Post," was a wonderful article about the group Active Minds, founded by Malmon to promote dialogue about mental health on college campuses. She lost her older brother, Brian, to suicide in 2002, when he was a...
I always love it when my Beyond Blue readers direct me to a piece of news that pisses me off. There I was … smiling as I checked my e-mail, a strong cup of coffee in my hand, and then...
Thankfully, plenty of feel-good articles also get passed to me. Lilit Marcus send this article--about actress Claire Danes and her 22 years of therapy to overcome a neurosis that began when she was six. Here's the Associated Press/ABC Action...
Since I am such a huge Seinfeld fan--I swear the script writers studied my life before crafting each episode--I thought I'd include an excerpt from Jerry Seinfeld's book, "SeinLanguage," which I own, of course. I try to exercise his wisdom...
Dear God, In Luke’s gospel (Luke 10:1-10), Zacchaeus, a chief tax collector and a wealthy man, wants to see Jesus. But he’s short, and there’s a crowd around Jesus, like usual. So he climbs a sycamore tree to get...
The following mediation by Fr. Bede Jarett was the reflection for Sunday's reading in my devotional, "Magnificat." It's excerpted from the book "He Dwells in Your Soul, Encountering the Living God Within You." The vision has come; it cannot simply...
One Beyond Blue reader has already turned in his homework assignment! I'm waiting for the others. If you haven't already written to four friends and started your own self-esteem file, then I think Frank's assessment of his process will prod...
Frank generously shared with me all of his letters that he received from his friends. I have to say that reading them was as much fun as reading my own. So with his permission, I'm posting three of his letters....
One of Liz’s most popular video blogs is the one in which she describes weight gain as a side effect. Since so many Beyond Blue readers have expressed this frustration, I thought I’d include it here....
A few months ago, I featured an interview with Dr. Sanjay Gupta on this very topic of weight gain and psych meds. To read the interview I excerpted from the Winter 2007 issue of the Johns Hopkins Depression and Anxiety...
From "Getting Relief From Light Therapy" in the Fall 2007 Johns Hopkins Depression and Anxiety Bulletin: After years of lurking on the sidelines of depression treatment, therapy with bright light is finally winning a more prominent place in the arsenal...
Also from "Getting Relief From Light Therapy" in the Fall 2007 Johns Hopkins Depression and Anxiety Bulletin: Bright-light therapy involves sitting in front of a bank of full-spectrum fluorescent lights for 30-60 minutes each day. To be maximally effective, the...
Karen Swartz, M.D., offers some light-therapy options for those on a tight budget: • A light on a timer. If your experience with SAD includes difficulty getting out of bed in the morning, try putting a lamp in your bedroom...
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