Beyond Blue: November 2008 Archives

Continuing the conversation from yesterday about being highly sensitive ... Here's an excerpt from Aron's book, which helps to lay out the pros and cons of a being a person who should stay away from Disney World and Toys-R-Us (as usual my comments are in brackets...I rarely can keep my mouth shut anymore when offering an excerpt):

The Pros

What this difference in arousability [remember, we're not talking sex--in that category I'm looking for things to fire me up, not calm me down] means is that you notice levels of stimulation that go unobserved by others. This is true whether we are talking about subtle sounds, sights, or physical sensations like pain. It is not that your hearing, vision, or other senses are more acute (plenty of HSPs wear glasses). The difference seems to lie somewhere on the way to the brain or in the brain, in a more careful processing of information. We reflect more on everything. And we sort things into finer distinctions [like analyzing where, exactly, whistling Elmo was made, and where he will end up once his batteries run out]. Like those machines that grade fruit by size--we sort into ten sizes while others sort into two or three.

This greater awareness of the subtle tends to make you more intuitive [don't you love it when people tell you that?...you're so intuitive....], which simply means picking up and working through information in a semiconscious or unconscious way. The result is that you often "just know" without realizing how. Furthermore, this deeper processing of subtle details causes you to consider the past or future more. You "just know" how things got to be the way they are or how they are going to turn out. This is that "sixth sense" people talk about. It can be wrong, of course, just as your eyes and ears can be wrong, but your intuition is right often enough that HSPs tend to be visionaries, high intuitive artists, or inventors, as well as more conscientious, cautious, and wise people [the same reason that cheating in school gave me stomach and head aches, whereas my sister could do it pretty naturally].

The Cons

The downside of the trait shows up at more intense levels of stimulation [like at Disney World or Toys-R-Us]. What is moderately arousing for most people is highly arousing for HSPs. What is highly arousing for most people [Chuck E. Cheese] causes an HSP to become very frazzled indeed [running to the restroom to have a panic attack], until they reach a shutdown point called "transmarginal inhibition" [lecturing a spouse about the crisis of consumerisim, global warming, and landfills in aisle five of Toys-R-Us]. Transmarginal inhibition was first discussed around the turn of the century by the Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov, who was convinced that the most basic inherited difference among people was how soon they reach this shutdown point and that the quick-to-shut-down have a fundamentally different type of nervous system.

The Package Deal

No one likes being overaroused [nonsexually], HSP or not. A person feels out of control, and the whole body warns that it is in trouble. Overarousal often means failing to perform at one's best. Of course, it can also mean danger. An extra dread of overarousal may even be built into all of us. Since a newborn cannot run or fight or even recognize danger, it is best if it howls at anything new, anything arousing at all, so that grown-ups can come and rescue it.

Like the fire department, we HSPs mostly respond to false alarms. But if our sensitivity saves a life even once, it is a trait that has a genetic payoff. So, yes, when our trait leads to overarousal, it is a nuisance. But it is part of a package deal with many advantages.

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In my video post I mentioned Elaine Aron's book, "The Highly Sensitive Person." I advise all depressives to read it, because most of you are going to be highly sensitive (which is not a bad thing at all). I was explaining to this older man I met in a coffee shop about how I get frazzled so easily, and distracted, and that I really needed to be outside for an hour or more a day or else I go, well, crazy.

He told me about this book, and it's been so helpful in moments like Toys-R-Us, when I realize that I'm just over-aroused (not sexually--I don't think that's possible on Zoloft), and I just need to dial it down a bit.

Here is a test to determine whether or not you are highly sensitive.

Answer each question according to the way you feel. Answer true if it is at least somewhat true for you. Answer false if it is not very true or not at all true for you.

I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.

Other people's moods affect me.

I tend to be very sensitive to pain.

I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days, into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.

I'm particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine.

I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens close by.

I have a rich, complex inner life.

I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.

I am deeply moved by the arts of music.

I am conscientious.

I startle easily.

I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.

When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).

I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.

I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.

I make it a point to avoid violent movies and TV shows.

I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot of going on around me.

Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me, disrupting my concentration or mood.

Changes in my life shake me up.

I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.

I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations.

When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.

When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.

Scoring Yourself: If you answered true to twelve or more of the questions, you're probably highly sensitive.

But frankly, no psychological test is so accurate that you should base your life on it. If only one or two questions are true of you but they are extremely true, you might also be justified in calling yourself highly sensitive.

I'll discuss Aron's book and highly sensitive people again tomorrow.