Beyond Blue: December 2007 Archives

I very much appreciate what Beyond Blue reader Jeff said in response to Larry Parker's post about his panic attack:

I'll thank Larry again (and Therese) for putting himself out here. My panic attacks are similar. Hyperventilating and feeling an intense amount of energy in my limbs, (good thing you didn't kick your stepfather ;-). My head spins and my ADD goes into high gear; I can't focus on anything and want to curl up in a ball and wait for my life to be over. The best thing I've gotten out of 2007 is the ability to retain the knowledge that "this too shall pass".

Last Spring I went through another heart wrenching break up and learned to give in to crying. It stops. Not when I'd like it to, but it does.

Usually we can't do much for people who can't understand that we are beginning to understand our own diseases. And as one who has passed on but lived steeped in his own diseases, William Burroughs once said, "If you encounter a person in whose presence you feel like you've lost a quart of blood, avoid that person at all costs." Even if it's just going for a walk.

Love, Jeff

Actually, all of the comments show what a supportive community we have here in Beyond Blue. Thank you, all, for your compassion and insights.

Dear Friends,
Group Beyond Blue will be holding a "self-esteem forum" the first Wednesday of every month, where we will be assigned one person for whom to write a self-esteem affirmation. My hope is that we will have some letters to share the following month, and decide if this is something we might continue into 2008. Simply log on to the "self-esteem forum" discussion thread at Group Beyond Blue in Beliefnet's community site on Wednesday at 7 PM. Hope to see you there, Therese

PS I have no idea how this is going to work or the details, but I'm sure we'll figure something out. Most of us are on meds, and a third of us are on meds that are working. Thanks for being a guinea pig.

Because panic and anxiety are so much a part of recovery from depression or any mental illness, I added "panic and anxiety" as a topic to the discussion boards of Group Beyond Blue on Beliefnet's Community site.

To visit, click here for the homepage of Group Beyond Blue, and then click on "Discussions" to the left.

Beyond Blue reader Larry Parker has written a brave, raw account of a recent panic attack. He has used his gift of language to describe for others exactly how it feels to be trapped by a brain's disease. To get to his journal entry, click here. Following is an excerpt:

And then I lost it. Completely.

When I pointed out to my stepfather he didn't have to call me an idiot and moron for that, he said, "Yes, I do! You're so clumsy that's all I can do to remind you." I forget what I said in response, but it was angry and at the top of my lungs. To which he responded (rather dubiously, given what he had just said), "Hey, I don't have to treat you as an adult if you don't act like an adult." (A guy who, it must be said, blows his own stack every day or two on a routine basis.)

And then the chain reaction was complete, and the fuel rods disintegrated. And I just started screaming, "YOU HATE ME! YOU HATE ME! YOU HATE ME! YOU HATE ME!" at my mom, my stepdad, and probably half the neighborhood by that point.

And then I started hyperventilating, having heart flutters/palpitations, and basically a full-blown panic attack.

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