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In early 2010, PBS will broadcast a 3-part series on emotions called "The Emotional Life," exploring ways to improve relationships, cope with emotional issues, and become more positive, resilient individuals. Hosted by Harvard psychologist and best-selling author Daniel Gilbert, the documentary weaves together the compelling personal stories of ordinary people and the latest scientific research, along with revealing comments from celebrities like Chevy Chase, Larry David, Elizabeth Gilbert, Alanis Morissette, Katie Couric and Richard Gere.

Psychologist Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. is a key contributor in the PSB project and an expert on the website, where she writes a blog. Since forming healthy attachments in the first year of life is so fundamentally important to mental health, I have interviewed Dr. Zucker on this topic. To get to the "This Emotional Life" website, click here.

Question: You mention that children who form secure attachments are less likely to experience mental illness later in life. Could you go over your six basic practices for successful bonding and attachment for new mothers?

Dr. Zucker: New motherhood can be incredibly joyous, overwhelming, and transformative. A mix of expectable complex emotions may emerge upon baby's arrival. Sometimes women are baffled by the various feelings that arise and wonder how they might make sense of this flood of emotionality. An integral, albeit basic, tenet to savor during the initial period of this life-changing time is that attachment and bonding are a process. Getting to know your baby, understanding her cues, and falling in love with your infant and your newfound identity as a mother, may not happen over night. Or it might! Either way, having a clear desire to pave a path of consciousness and closeness can ensure that your baby will thrive. Though each parent-child dynamic is unique and therefore requires a depthful personal approach, here are six basic practices that can assist in laying the groundwork for successful mother-infant attachment and bonding.

1. Be mindful of your own emotional health and wellbeing.

However tempting it might be or no matter how much pressure culture harnesses, you do not need to achieve Super Woman status. Having realistic expectations of yourself, your newborn, and your partner will help combat disappointment, anxiety, and head-spinning thoughts. Your baby will have a much easier time in the world if she can rely on her mommy to be well and attuned. Therefore, your mental health is tantamount. It is estimated that over 80% of women experience postpartum blues and one in five new mothers experience postpartum depression. If symptoms exceed approximately four weeks, it is wise to take action and get additional support. Building an authentic relationship with your child will happen more readily when you feel available, present, and engaged. Getting help promptly, if needed, can increase healthy connectivity.

2. Provide consistency in behavior, predictability in care, relating, and responding.

People flourish when they feel felt. Healthy development stems, in part, through raising a baby in an environment that is consistent and predictable. The infant learns that she matters and can affect the world when mommy responds to her ever-changing needs in a clear and caring way. Early mother-infant moments make a resounding impact on how your evolving baby will come to feel about relationships- with self, others, and the world.

Several mom friends of mine have lately come down with a bad case of "empty-nest depression"--moms who just dropped off their youngest offspring to college, or moms having difficulty keeping busy now that the youngest is in kindergarten all day.

I am a mother of five children; the oldest 29, the youngest 20 in college. My children all went off on their own around the age of 18. Those in college worked their way through school so only returned home for a weekend occasionally; not for summer vacation. I was involved in all their lives, but I hope, not as a smother mother.

During a long period of their growing years, I was suffering from major depression. My therapist encouraged me to find some work outside the home. He was aware how much emphasis and identity I had tied up in motherhood, and how deeply depressed I was. I totally rebelled because raising my children was my first responsibility. But an opportunity came my way that would allow me to use my musical talent one day a week at a school. For some reason, I agreed to do it. Later it went to two days, then three. I finally decided to return to college and finish my degree while still teaching three days a week. By that time, only my son was still at home. He found he loved karate so my husband and I juggled our schedules so that he would never come home to an empty house.

It was great timing to find in my mailbox a copy of Joan Wester Anderson's new book, "Moms Go Where Angels Fear to Tread: Adventures in Motherhood," because, as I told her, I've been getting a little fed up lately with all the unsolicited advice I've received from well-intentioned, by annoying folks on what I could be doing better with my offspring.

On Mother's Day, Group Beyond Blue moderator Mel started a discussion thread for folks who have strained or distanced relationships with their moms or children. And for Father's Day, she's done the same. You can get to the Group Beyond Blue discussion thread "Not So Happy Father's Day" by clicking here. Mel writes:

My relationship with my father is complicated. He's become a better dad to my little brother (just graduated HS) but he's more like an uncle to me. Sometimes he's like my best friend and other times he reverts back to old patterns and I can't even imagine sharing my life with him. But I do know that a lot of us are not up to celebrating due to feelings of loss, abandonment, or hurt.

Anyone else having a tough time with this holiday?

To read more Beyond Blue, go to http://blog.beliefnet.com/beyondblue, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.

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I found this interview with Ayelet Waldman on the amazon page of her book, "Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace."

Question: Why did you write this book?

Ayelet Waldman: Do you want the snarky answer or the real one?

Q:The real one...

AW: Because so many women I know are in real pain. They are so crippled by their guilt, by their unreasonable expectations, that they can't even allow themselves to celebrate the true joys of being a mom. When your little girl curls up in bed with you and says, "Your hair always smells so good, Mama," you should be able to melt with emotion without worrying about whether she's reading at grade level.

Q: Do you think you're a bad mother?

AW: Well, yes. Of course. I mean, that's the whole problem. I feel like a bad mother, even when by all reasonable analysis I'm a perfectly fine mother. Hell, I went camping last month with the second grade. Camping. Me. A Jewish American Princess from New Jersey. Camping for me is staying in a Marriott, but I slept on the ground and ate toast burned over an open fire. And had fun.

I guess Beliefnet has another bad mom onboard. I was happy to see that Catherine Connors has joined the flock of bloggers here on Beliefnet. I was especially moved by her recent post, "What Makes a Mother." She writes: ...

I thought I'd include the recent press release about Exhale E-Magazine since my interview with Christina Gombar on the topic of infertility and depression was so popular. To get to the zine, click here. Some more information follows.... Is it...

It's amazing how the right topics come to me ... as if delivered by the Holy Spirit (or a really networked friend, i.e. Priscilla Warner) because I have been wanting to discuss the subject of fertility and depression for...

Beyond Blue Group Co-Chair Mel started an important discussion thread called "Oh Baby!" at Group Beyond Blue on Beliefnet Community. Click here to get to the thread....

I know a "happy place" sounds corny. How many times have you seen a character on a sitcom close his eyes and say, "I'm going to my happy place. I'm almost there. Up, I can't find any parking. Hold on,...

According to John Bradshaw, author of "Home Coming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child," the process of healing your wounded inner child is one of grief. And it involves these seven steps (in Bradshaw's words): 1. Trust For your wounded...

Because I'm on vacation this week, I've decided to publish posts from the two-week test pilot of Beyond Blue back in October of 2006, two months before its initial launch in December 2006. We've come a long way! I'm curious...

One of the members of Group Beyond Blue, Deep Within, has started a support group called "Deep Within Our Children" at Beliefnet Community for parents or caretakers of children who have been diagnosed, or are being screened for mental...

For the last month or so I've been torn on how much I should share on Beyond Blue and at Group Beyond Blue about my son's struggle with anxiety. I don't want to invade his privacy in any way. After...

STOP MAKING BABIES! Love, Your Husband...

In light of Mother's Day this weekend, I thought I'd interview Cooper Munroe, one of the coolest moms out there in cyberspace who, with her friend Emily McKhann, started a website called themotherhood.com, one of the most comprehensive resources...


 On Cooper and Emily's site, themotherhood.com, they post the following as their charter. I think it's fabulous! We Know. We Believe. It's Time. We know Becoming a mother means becoming a wholly new human being And that transformation can...

I'm getting ready for Mother's Day! They are activists, humorists, Holocaust survivers, writers, first ladies, and missionaries. But first and foremost, they are moms. And, in my opinion, some of the best. As a relatively new mom, I could learn...

I’ve said this in prior posts, but hopefully writing it over and over again will help me to know better how to tackle it. I hate that my depression affects my kids. Because I know it does. According to Mark...

According to Dr. Mark Gold (who wrote "The Good News About Depression"--have I mentioned I hate that title?), a major problem in today’s society is that there is no support from extended family for depressed mothers. Gold says this: In...

My blogging buddy, Katherine Stone, who produces the most popular blog on postpartum depression, called "Postpartum Progress," featured my story today. If you want some background information on how I became a platinum-level member of Club Depression, visit her site...

Also at BlogHer I met a soulmate in Katherine Stone. She writes a fabulous blog on postpartum depression. In fact, it's the most visited site on postpartum issues. Katherine spoke at a workshop I attended about blogs becoming a voice...

Dear Guardian Angel Two, I wanted to wait before saying anything to make sure I wasn't anxious about anything else, and confusing my emotions, but I wanted to let you know that I left your place with some hurt feelings....

My favorite children’s book doesn’t have beautiful, colored illustrations. It isn’t even hardback. It’s a $3.95 black and white paperback that explains to kids how to express their emotions. I read it to David and Katherine whenever I can find...

My therapist photocopied for me a page out of the book "When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within" one of those many days I sat on her couch in tears, telling her how frustrated I was with my kids so...

A very happy Father's Day to all male Beyond Blue readers! I know that I tend to address women's issues more often than men's, but I'm cognizant of Beyond Blue's male readers, and I'm trying to do a better job...

I truly believe that the techniques used by parents to potty-train an obstinate child could, if adopted by the United Nations and NATO, lead to world peace.On a micro level, they can go a far way to tame a mood...

Last time I potty-trained a kid, I relied heavily on the Serenity Prayer, which helps me with all of life's hurdles. Click here to read an article I wrote a few years ago, when David was the one in diapers....

I fully support Katherine's pacifier habit. Even though her preschool teachers, grandparents, and dentist say, at age three and a half, it's definitely time to pull the plug, part of me thinks I should let her suck away on the...

As an adolescent I loved wearing ashes on my forehead to cover up my oily pimples. In high school, Ash Wednesday got a toast to the beginning of those two-hour Stations of the Cross on Fridays, which shortened each class...

Two boys went to bed with fevers last night. One is dead. The other is my David. I have to wonder if the guardian angels are vacationing in Florida this month, because too many little guys have fallen asleep for...

One Bible verse disturbs me more than any other.It's not the one telling me to sell my laptop computer and king-size bed because "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone...

The poem "Anyway" is basically an elaboration of the Serenity Prayer, which I say all the time.In "Parenthood and the Serenity Prayer" I explain how I used it to potty train, or at least attempt to potty train, David when...

For 2007, my only resolution is to become more close-minded. I suffer far less when I detach myself from everyone's opinion of my health, my parenting, and my faith. Had I not been so open-minded--trying every and all suggestions thrown...

I finally found a book on the human body I can understand! Last night I wanted to read Katherine the story of Baby Jesus again to squeeze the most religion out of these days around Christmas since I fall short...

I almost blew it today. I almost told David there was no Santa Claus, or Tooth Fairy, or Easter Bunny. The practical, cynical, depressed side of my brain (the left) challenged the creative, optimistic, slightly manic side (the right) to...