
In early 2010, PBS will broadcast a 3-part series on emotions called "The Emotional Life," exploring ways to improve relationships, cope with emotional issues, and become more positive, resilient individuals. Hosted by Harvard psychologist and best-selling author Daniel Gilbert, the documentary weaves together the compelling personal stories of ordinary people and the latest scientific research, along with revealing comments from celebrities like Chevy Chase, Larry David, Elizabeth Gilbert, Alanis Morissette, Katie Couric and Richard Gere.
Psychologist Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. is a key contributor in the PSB project and an expert on the website, where she writes a blog. Since forming healthy attachments in the first year of life is so fundamentally important to mental health, I have interviewed Dr. Zucker on this topic. To get to the "This Emotional Life" website, click here.
Question: You mention that children who form secure attachments are less likely to experience mental illness later in life. Could you go over your six basic practices for successful bonding and attachment for new mothers?
Dr. Zucker: New motherhood can be incredibly joyous, overwhelming, and transformative. A mix of expectable complex emotions may emerge upon baby's arrival. Sometimes women are baffled by the various feelings that arise and wonder how they might make sense of this flood of emotionality. An integral, albeit basic, tenet to savor during the initial period of this life-changing time is that attachment and bonding are a process. Getting to know your baby, understanding her cues, and falling in love with your infant and your newfound identity as a mother, may not happen over night. Or it might! Either way, having a clear desire to pave a path of consciousness and closeness can ensure that your baby will thrive. Though each parent-child dynamic is unique and therefore requires a depthful personal approach, here are six basic practices that can assist in laying the groundwork for successful mother-infant attachment and bonding.
1. Be mindful of your own emotional health and wellbeing.
However tempting it might be or no matter how much pressure culture harnesses, you do not need to achieve Super Woman status. Having realistic expectations of yourself, your newborn, and your partner will help combat disappointment, anxiety, and head-spinning thoughts. Your baby will have a much easier time in the world if she can rely on her mommy to be well and attuned. Therefore, your mental health is tantamount. It is estimated that over 80% of women experience postpartum blues and one in five new mothers experience postpartum depression. If symptoms exceed approximately four weeks, it is wise to take action and get additional support. Building an authentic relationship with your child will happen more readily when you feel available, present, and engaged. Getting help promptly, if needed, can increase healthy connectivity.
2. Provide consistency in behavior, predictability in care, relating, and responding.
People flourish when they feel felt. Healthy development stems, in part, through raising a baby in an environment that is consistent and predictable. The infant learns that she matters and can affect the world when mommy responds to her ever-changing needs in a clear and caring way. Early mother-infant moments make a resounding impact on how your evolving baby will come to feel about relationships- with self, others, and the world.

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