My fellow United Methodist, Jeff Foxworthy has made a living off of redneck jokes. I once shared a stage with him at the North Georgia Conference. Though I am a southern boy, I couldn’t hold a candle to him. He’s got a corner on the redneck market. But there are plenty of rednecks in N.C. as well. In fact we used to have a disk jockey in Raleigh whose call name was Red Neckerson.  Then too there was a rumor that N.C. state troops stopped anyone at the state line comin’ north from S.C. and checked their necks to make sure they were from S.C. It was an instant I.D. This nice little collection of odds and sods comes my way courtesy of my friend Jim Horn, not known to be a redneck, but rather a proper Kentucky Gentleman.  Enjoy. BW3

 

 

 

Redneck
Yard Swing




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Redneck
passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow.
But she can’t touch it ’til she’s
14.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck
Cooler


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How do you
know when you’re
staying in a redneck motel?
When you call the front desk
and say, I gotta
leak in my sink,
and the clerk replies, ‘Go
ahead’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck
Cellar


~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you
hear that they have
raised the minimum drinking
age for rednecks to
32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol
out
of the high schools.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck
Limo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two reasons
why it’s so hard to
solve a redneck murder:
1) The DNA is all the same
2) There are no
dental
records

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck
Mailbox

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who
invented the toothbrush ?

A Redneck.(If it had been invented by
anyone else, it would
have been a teeth brush)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you
hear about the
$3 million redneck Lottery?
The winner gets $3.00 a year
for a million
years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck
Weenie Roast

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A new
redneck law was just recently passed
When a
couple gets divorced, they are STILL
cousins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you
hear that the redneck governor’s
mansion burned down?
‘Yep.. Prit’near took out the whole trailer park..

The library was a total loss too. Both books
went poof . . . up in
flames and the governor
hadn’t even finished coloring one of
them.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A State Troop
er pulls over a pickup
on Highway 16 and says to the driver,
‘Got any!
I..D. ? ‘ . .
and the driver replies ‘Bout
wut?’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
A
Redneck Christmas Sleigh