Ben Witherington on the Bible and Culture

'You are the Light of the World--Until the Bulb needs Changing'

Tuesday June 16, 2009

 


 




CHANGING A
LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY


How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?




















Charismatic
: Only 1

Hands are already in the air.














Pentecostal
: 10

One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.















Presbyterians
: None

Lights will go on and off at predestined times.














Roman Catholic
: None - Candles only.














Baptists
: At least 15.

One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and
decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.














Episcopalians:
3

One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about
how much better the old one was.















Mormons
: 5

One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.














Unitarians
:

We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need
for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light
bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern
dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will
explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent,
fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid
paths to luminescence.















Methodists
: Undetermined

Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You
can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your
choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.














Nazarene
: 6

One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.















Lutherans
: None

Lutherans don't believe in change..














Amish
:

What's a light bulb?













 




 









 



 









 





 




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Comments
Mich
June 16, 2009 4:36 PM

The Baptist is right on!

Paul
June 16, 2009 9:14 PM
http://inchristus.wordpress.com

Uh...pardon my apologetic bent, but exactly how are we defining "Christian" here? Mormons? Unitarians?
Okay....I feel better now.

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About Ben Witherington on the Bible and Culture

Bible scholar Ben Witherington is Amos Professor of New Testament for Doctoral Studies at Asbury Theological Seminary and on the doctoral faculty at St. Andrews University in Scotland. A graduate of UNC, Chapel Hill, he went on to receive the M.Div. degree from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and a Ph.D. from the University of Durham in England. He is now considered one of the top evangelical scholars in the world, and is an elected member of the prestigious SNTS, a society dedicated to New Testament studies.

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