September 2006 Archives

Earlier this week, I worked five hours--from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m.--at a well-run local soup kitchen. I made about 30 gallons of soup with three other people, washed a heap of cherry tomatoes, and made a quart of salad dressing. Then we served the meal, stacked the dishes, and cleaned both the kitchen and the serving area.

Every time I do this, I have to stay up until one or two in the morning preparing my CM blog for the following day. I don't mind though. It feels good to work hard for someone else.

But guess what: I'm getting far more than an altruistic rush out of this. In exchange for working at the soup kitchen monthly, I receive work/membership credit from the Park Slope Food Co-op, which then enables me to purchase every conceivable kind of health food at a discount. Because the Co-op is owned and operated by some 8,000 unpaid members like me, it doesn't need to mark up its prices the way a conventional store would. Plus, the Co-op has the best produce in Brooklyn. Dare I say, all of New York? Only the local farmer's markets are as good.

Of course, I'd like to think I'd work in a soup kitchen monthly without the Co-op membership perk. And I have volunteered my services many times in the past, but never on as strict a schedule.

I'm confident that most of you volunteer through your house of worship or some other venue and out of the goodness of your heart. But I know that if the Food Co-op didn't regularly lure me into the soup kitchen, I wouldn't help feed the hungry as often; activities with my kids would intervene. I know I'm opening myself up to ridicule for confessing that it takes a perk to regulate my volunteerism. But as more companies are encouraging their employees to do something for their community in exchange for work credit or another reward, I'd love to engage you guys in a conversation about how it might be okay to foster helpfulness throughout society this way. I'm grateful to the Co-op. The whole exchange is good for everybody.

Are you employed by a company that encourages you to tutor, cook, pick up trash or in other ways give to your community? Tell us about it. If you're on your own or volunteering through your church or synagogue, are you loyal to your community service commitments? What keeps you going? Has volunteering with a friend you wouldn't see as much become an extra incentive? Let us hear your story!

Part of one's spiritual journey involves confronting spiritual materialism. What is that, you may ask? Is it acquiring the hottest mat and outfit for your yoga practice? Lusting for a fancy spa in California? Festooning your neck and wrists with cool--and medicinal!--jewelry?

Yes, all those preoccupations involve materialism, but spiritual materialism--as the term was used by the late meditation master Chogyam Trungpa--is more subtle, more common, and more insidious, though I'm not sure I'm supposed to label it "insidious" because spiritual materialism is just part of the path, something to be beheld without judgment.

Spiritual materialism relates to a different kind of possessiveness. It is the impetus to get healthier, improve relationships, or attain results (like being better respected by others) through your spiritual practice. Spiritual materialism is when you strive to own a better life--with fewer complications, more happiness, and less stress--through your hard-earned spiritual enlightenment. Huh? What's so wrong with that? Doesn't everyone see religious practice as a way to let their light shine and improve themselves as people? Well, it shouldn't be entirely about that.

An anecdote: Years ago, I regularly attended meditation classes in Dallas at a yoga center run by a lovely man who once worked as a carnival acrobat back in India. His name was Kumar. How he landed in Dallas, I'll never know. But he taught yoga, meditation, and ran a bulk foods grocery store in front of his studio. And after meditation practice one evening, I remember chasing Kumar around the wooden counters of his shop, describing to him something I'd vividly seen in my mind's eye as I was meditating. It was like a lotus seen from above, vibrantly colored, purple foam around the center--"a real vision, fabulous!" I kept telling him with great enthusiasm. I cheered myself on by continuing, "I didn't make this up! This vision just came to me!"

Kumar nodded, experimented with smiling slightly, but mostly he seemed to want to escape me. I longed for him to say: "Oh good, you are really advancing now. What an excellent meditator you've become!" But as my teacher, he had no interest in encouraging me to run down this lotus questing path (cool as it was). Years later, after more practice and reading, it hit me that Kumar knew not to label my "vision" any kind of advancement. There was no meaning to it really. It just was. I remember he bought me off by saying, "Yes. Yes." and nodding somewhat optimistically.

I've bitten off a big topic, and it's late Friday afternoon; I must pick up the Chattering children soon. But perhaps we can talk here as the days go by about how much we invest in the notion of our spiritual progress. We throw all our ambitions into this spiritual course, and when we're doing that, we're not just "being." We're pursuing something else. We're not accepting ourselves or the moment. We're striving for the vast beyond. Here's an Ösel Tendzin quote on the subject that I lifted from the wonderful Buddhist blog Woodmoor Village:

"Spiritual materialism is based on trying to possess the highest spiritual state, trying to have the best meditative experience. We adopt a spiritual disguise in order to mask our own fear and clinging; we convert spiritual teachings into personal territory. We smother any spark of intelligence, and in the process, we deceive ourselves and produce spiritual fraud."

"Depression, loneliness, and insecurity are tangible experiences that can be improved. But if you seek to reach God or enlightenment because you want to stop being depressed or anxious, if you want greater self-esteem or less loneliness, your search may never end.

"This area of understanding isn't cut-and-dried. Some people feel tremendously self-improved as their awareness expands; but it takes a strong sense of self to confront the many obstacles and challenges that lie on the path. If you feel weak or fragile, you may feel weaker and more fragile when you confront the shadow energies within. Expanded awareness comes at a price-—you have to give up your limitations—-and for anyone who feels victimized, that limitation is often so stubborn that spiritual progress becomes very slow.

"To the extent that you feel any deep conflict inside yourself, a large hurdle stands before you on the path. The wise thing is to seek help at the level where the problem exists."

--Deepak Chopra

Today's New York Times has a New Yorky take on what's happening in the homes of those who want their children to eat highly healthy food, but whose careers necessitate employing babysitters who may not share their whole foods philosophy.

You'll cringe because the story brings out a painful class divide quite evident these days--we've got the Eat Divinely Wells and the Eat What You Can Affords. Organic, hyper-healthy dining is assuming an obsessive "prissy" image that I find unfortunate. Believe me, I'm as organic as I can get, but I also let my two sons eat fried foods I'd never touch in kid-friendly restaurants. If I argued over every piece of pizza, I'd make myself and my kids nuts. What to do?

You can talk to your children about their food choices, and discuss as a family what really tastes delicious. Everybody's different. My guys went through a Happy Meal phase, but they no longer jump for glee when we pass a McDonald's. Intriguingly, the 10-year-old Chattering recently listed "sushi" as his favorite food on a school getting-to-know-you project. He also balked when we decided to hold his birthday at a bowling alley this coming weekend because the pizza there might be "of low quality." Hmmm. What have I wrought?

I do think discussing what passes as a good meal should be reviewed with any sitter you employ. And questions like "What do you eat?" or "How can I stock the refrigerator to keep you healthy?" or even "How do people feed babies in your country?" (if that question applies) are nice things to ask sitters (you might even soak up helpful wisdom).

I employed sitters three days a week when my sons were young. Two women over a period of five years came into the house while I wrote at home. And I treated both of them like queens. Maybe too much so. But I was so grateful, and they returned the love. There was only one time when I thought the whole love-your-nanny-thing was lopsided: I once found myself rushing out to buy a surprise going-away cake for the sitter who was returning to Guatemala for a month's vacation on the tax refund she received from our on-the-books wages. Where was she as I made the mad dash to buy cake for her going-away party?

Taking care of my kids, of course.

Got any good stories about food, babysitters and love?

Tomorrow, we'll discuss Spiritual Materialism. Today, we'll attend to three new products in the most recent Isabella catalog.

Labels for your water bottles: Put love in every sip by placing a sticker with the word LOVE on your water container! (Dr. Masaru Emoto alleges that this can actually make water crystals healthier.)

Upscale Mala: If your five-dollar sandalwood bracelet has lost its pizazz, now you can chant your mantras on pearls.

Aromatherapy Bandana for Your Hyper Dog: Squeeze the pouch for a rush of pup-soothing lavender.

I actually love the joyful spiritual marketplace. What a hoot. Do you find any of this offensive?

Sure, it's in my diet. But I'm pursuing less soy these days. Articles like this one have convinced me....

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Click here to watch Swami Beyondananda (a.k.a. comic/activist Steve Bhaerman) talk about how "being in the now is the wave of the future."This guy is interesting. Before he embraced comedy, Bhaerman wrote books and founded an alternative high school in...

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If you know anyone getting married in the next year or contemplting marriage, send them to Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway's Wedding Goddess Wisdom weblog, a font of good advice on how to soak in all the blessings to your union...

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Since we were on the subject of God and amputees yesterday, you might be uplifted by Beliefnet's homepage article about the faith of disabled people and their families. Be sure not to miss Lilit Marcus's piece on her life with...

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Thanks to faithful reader Pacific231 for this response to our conversation about sending love to bullies and other irritating people:"I strongly believe that feeling compassion for a bully must not translate into martyrdom... A very recent Buddhist book on the...

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Atheists will applaud the website WhyDoesGodHateAmputees.com. But if you believe in God, or are on the fence about God's presence, you'll still be fascinated. The authors try to explain as clearly as is conceivable--as if they are speaking to fourth...

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Click here to learn more about Environmental Action's "pledge to pay the difference" campaign. Upon collecting 3,600 pledges, the group is hoping to tell U.S. auto makers that E.A. members will pay more for environmentally friendly vehicles--if U.S. makers create...

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What a great moment of the year to encourage the children in your life to build fairy houses, pint-sized outdoor residences for the spritely nature divas and spirits that bless the earth, commune with frogs and bugs, cobble shoes, and...

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Has the urge to go Green ruffled your nesting instincts? Today, I scanned this impressive list of environmentally-sound home product manufacturers compiled by "Home Safe Home" author Debra Lynn Dadd....

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Do you work in a place where deadlines aren't respected and coworkers complain about management behind closed doors? Does every morning pep talk get ridiculed at lunch? Do you ever feel as though there's a sameness to everything and that...

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Oh, I loved this article about hikers who gather in pro-barefoot groups to traverse the world's trails without shoes. Learn more about their activities through The Society for Barefoot Living's website....

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Rabbi Michael Lerner has posted an item on a blog for "Spiritual Progressives" in which he encourages everyone to "take advantage of the Jewish custom of repentance at the High Holy Days" (a period of soul-searching and renewal that launched...

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Blessed is the grace that crowns the sky with stars, and keeps the planets on their ways; the law that turns our night to day, and fills the eye with light; the love that keeps us whole, and day by...

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In the name of eating seasonally, Ayurvedic teacher John Douillard, Ph.D., recommends eating two to four apples a day from now until Halloween, "along with more pomegranates, other ripe seasonal fruit, and veggies." If you've got a moment, try his...

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I was thinking that telegraphing love to irritating people and struggling to keep lines of communication open were the themes of my week alone, but apparently, we're all under the influence of a new moon and solar eclipse that can...

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"Just as the Spring Equinox is about new growth and activity, the Autumn Equinox is about putting things away. It's a day for putting your house in order, making sure you have the supplies you need, canning fruits, assessing your...

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New Age business mogul Sir Richard Branson has always favored yoga, meditation, and massage. Now, he's devoting a huge chunk of his fortune to find cleaner fuels....

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You do not have to be good.You do not have to walk on your kneesfor a hundred miles through the desert repenting.You only have to let the soft animal of your bodylove what it loves.Tell me about despair, yours, and...

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Click here to see a marvelous animated short film, "The Meatrix," the story of a pig who discovers what really happens on factory farms. It's been making the web rounds since 2003; more than 15 million people have seen it...

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I've met her. I love her. She's got incredible abs (which she used to invite reporters to punch). But no, this is not the best use of Denise Austin's enormous talent. Sorry....

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How does one deliver the right nod, bow, Namaste, or abbreviated prostration at the conclusion of a yoga class, talk, or more formal teaching? I learned what I needed to know here and here and here. You can also just...

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Delighting in the publication of her latest book "On Becoming Fearless.... in Love, Work, and Life," author Arianna Huffington has launched a lively blog (a sub-blog of her popular Huffington Post site) on overcoming whatever dread holds you back. Here's...

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"In the long run I am only temporarily an American. I will not be labeled or trapped into any collectivity on the basis that I have some fixed essence that belongs to that collectivity." --Robert Thurman, quoted in this month's...

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Even before I looked at your posts regarding what you do when you dislike or hate someone, I found wisdom in the September issue of 'Shambhala Sun' (such a good magazine), which referred to Thich Nhat Hanh's advice on managing...

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A woman took a parking place of mine today as I was sitting in front of the exiting vehicle with my blinkers on. She just dove in there, as parking thieves are prone to do. But I didn't honk. I...

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Yesterday in the car, 12-year-old Chattering Son One said, "I don't like ________[a boy at school]. He's mean and cynical." At first, I beamed at the use of the word "cynical" since I'd never heard him use it before. Then,...

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I know some of you probably just read this blog and don't ever write back or read posts. That's totally cool (though I always love hearing from you). But if you have been reading reader posts, you may have noticed...

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The editorial staff of Beliefnet.com is hard at work on a site redesign and expansion that will offer all kinds of fascinating new features throughout the next year. Because of the stress that they're all under, my editor Valerie won't...

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"The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself."--Henry Miller...

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Deva Premal and Miten performed at Omega's yoga conference, and led several chants. Miten sang "All Are Welcome Here," the final song on this album, but Deva Premal's best received work is on this CD (kind of a massage therapy...

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“I wake every morning feeling like I’m living in a miracle – where spirituality, creativity, work, and love have all come to mean the same thing. My life has been shaped by mantras; I have become their servant.” - Deva...

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I heard yoga teacher John Friend deliver the keynote address at the Omega Institute's "Path of Yoga" conference at a Sheraton Hotel in New York City last Friday. This conference is always a nice one, drawing well-regarded yoga practitioners like...

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"Tibetan Prayer Flags Inside!"Sure enough, inside the International Campaign for Tibet's direct mail envelope (which arrived at my home today), is a neatly folded two-inch square prayer flag garland. How could one not send money back?...

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I noticed a little sign on the cooler shelf today that essentially said, "Sorry, we're trying to keep bottles of G.T. Dave's Kombucha tea in stock, but you guys keep buying us out. Bear with us."On his website, G.T. Dave...

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How fascinating that so many of us have felt unprepared when asked to sputter life wisdom, baby blessings, and parenting advice at spiritual baby showers. Let's help each other with good material! Send your suggestions in! Here are a few...

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Whoah, baby! Have a look at this off-the-wall inverted posture....

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You know, this Chattering Mind blog is currently attracting some 17,000 unique visitors a month. And usually, you readers are a relatively quiet bunch. But inspiring chatter was indeed released by my three-part series on the clutter we keep in...

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Here's a letter--masterful in its straightforward, noncommital, but compassionate wording--written by Senator Barack Obama to constituent Ken Goze regarding the VA's continued refusal to allow the Wiccan pentacle on the gravestones of Wiccans buried in veteran cemetaries. This letter, posted...

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I have not seen the new Ric Burns documentary “Andy Warhol: A Documentary Film,” now ending a two-week run at one New York theater. But The New York Times said the film's most significant contribution (from an art critic's...

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Thanks to the Feingold Program's newsletter for guiding me to "Find a Remedy," a website where folks being prescribed drugs by doctors can read reader-generated reviews of the medicine, and compare notes with others....

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This month's Mothering magazine offers fabulous ways to honor a pregnant friend at her baby's shower.* Pass a "wisdom book" around and ask each guest to contribute words of encouragement.* Tell guests to bring canned goods for a local women's...

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This is depressing, but important to read. Toxic mercury is being discovered in more places than ever anticipated....

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Did you see this? Quite inspiring. A woman who discovered at the last minute that her husband-to-be was unfaithful, turned her non-refundable wedding reception into a charity fundraiser....

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Please have a listen to this enlightened, American-born Muslim's views, and catch a glimmer of our shared, and most interesting future....

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Here are some excerpts from what I'll call the Aura Debates, all spawned by my family's aura pictures (scroll down if you missed 'em). From an electrical engineer named Brian: "...aura just means an energy field, specifically around biological organisms....

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Washington National Cathedral continues to publish wonderful broadband of its most important talks and speeches. Scroll down to see Sharon Salzberg and Robert Thurman talk about the "Joyous Science of Kindness and Wisdom" here....

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I am basking in full-on workshop afterglow. I heard Ken Wilber speak twice this weekend in New York to 300 people for two hours last Friday and two-and-a-half more on Sunday. Wilber currently serves as head of the Integral Institute,...

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In the context of the Wilber talks, I'm finding it rather unfortunate that my last post from Friday was about how I put my 10-year-old son to sleep with a Robert Browning poem that basically teaches that God is up...

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Wonderful video is available here with statements from Joan Z. Borysenko, Tony Campolo, Barbara Cawthorne Crafton, Jerry Jenkins, James Martin, Brian McLaren, and Uma Mysorekar on how to see hope in these trying post-9/11 times. Also, click here to view...

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Last night around 10 p.m., I was sitting at the dining room table with my portable computer before me, doing my ambitious woman blogger thing, setting up my posts for today. My 10-year-old Chattering, who'd gone to bed 30 minutes...

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Morning's at seven; The hill-side's dew-pearl'd; The lark's on the wing; The snail's on the thorn; God's in his heaven— All's right with the world!--Robert Browning, 1812-1889...

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Doreen Virtue has organized an International Angel Day this Sunday, September 10th, a day when angel communicators are available en masse to teach others about "angelic healing and communication." Virtue claims that "The angels want us to hold this event...

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There's a great story in today's New York Times about green home design with quotes from various sources on the importance of living around growing things. While there's some debate about whether walls like these clean the air or create...

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Also in the Times today was a photo of this laptop desk, which intrigues me. I've written Louis Slesin, creator of the informative website MicrowaveNews.com to see if this is an acceptable way to avoid EMFs and keep your lap...

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I find Noah Kalina's six-year self portrait incredibly moving. It's a work in progress. Take a peek....

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If you're a parent, the good news might be that your kids are back in school, and you have slightly more time to yourself. The bad news (though you're not supposed to tell anyone you feel rotten about this) is...

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If you are not inclined to take a Brain Gym course or buy the books, just try this posture to get an inkling of what I'm raving about. You can easily relax in this at your desk. I sometimes just...

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"Oh, it's such a kick to photograph children's auras," Waterfall said gleefully as she tore the membrane off the Polaroid prints. "The energy of children is so BIG! See? You can't even see their bodies or faces!" Sure enough, both...

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Waterfall also warmed to the twelve-year-old Chattering's aura, which she said was similar to his brother's, but maturing nicely with some comforting, sheltering green evident with the yellow and orange. "I see this green in the auras of people who...

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I don't know if you've ever felt your own aura--or energy field--or seen a loved one's hue or essence. But, you've probably taken an immediate dislike to an individual, or inexplicably felt drawn to someone else for some intangible something-or-other....

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You know how it is when someone starts telling you something about yourself? If you're like me, you listen a little and then pass out. Thankfully, I did take notes. It felt like Waterfall was saying to me, "You must...

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If you believe in the Chinese theories of yin/yang, cold/hot foods, eating ice cream every evening is--sadly--a really bad idea. Especially at this time of year. Any icy slushy drink cold enough to give you a headache is actually giving...

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Social/spiritual activist Helen LaKelly Hunt (author of "Faith and Feminism") has launched a new website for the Hunt Alternatives fund which has, since 1981, contributed more than $60 million to advancing women's causes and global social change. Of particular interest...

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