Here are some of my faves--and things I in fact did not know about sleep:
- Anything less than five minutes to fall asleep at night means you're sleep deprived. The ideal is between 10 and 15 minutes, meaning you're still tired enough to sleep deeply, but not so exhausted you feel sleepy by day.
- A new baby typically results in 400-750 hours lost sleep for parents in the first year
- REM dreams are characterised by bizarre plots, but non-REM dreams are repetitive and thought-like, with little imagery - obsessively returning to a suspicion you left your mobile phone somewhere, for example.
- Some scientists believe we dream to fix experiences in long-term memory, that is, we dream about things worth remembering. Others reckon we dream about things worth forgetting - to eliminate overlapping memories that would otherwise clog up our brains.
- Scientists have not been able to explain a 1998 study showing a bright light shone on the backs of human knees can reset the brain's sleep-wake clock.
- The NRMA estimates fatigue is involved in one in 6 fatal road accidents.
- In insomnia following bereavement, sleeping pills can disrupt grieving.
- Tiny luminous rays from a digital alarm clock can be enough to disrupt the sleep cycle even if you do not fully wake. The light turns off a "neural switch" in the brain, causing levels of a key sleep chemical to decline within minutes.
- Some studies suggest women need up to an hour's extra sleep a night compared to men, and not getting it may be one reason women are much more susceptible to depression than men.
- Exposure to noise at night can suppress immune function even if the sleeper doesn’t wake. Unfamiliar noise, and noise during the first and last two hours of sleep, has the greatest disruptive effect on the sleep cycle.
After a long day yesterday, I stopped at ABC Carpet & Home, a mecca of pretty, pricey, spiritual things.
Buzzing past all of the crystals and Marys and Buddhas, I went straight for the bodycare wall. The eco- and toxin-conscious store only stocks lotions and potions and pastes and masks and scrubs by all-natural companies like Dr. Hauschka, Pangea Organics, and my favorite of the moment, Red Flower. Completely synthetic- and paraben-free, the latter bodycare line is practically edible and surely divine.
I'm now madly in love with a Red Flower bottle of Amber and Cardamom Body Oil. Just a few dots on my hand, rubbed in, and sniffed deeply seemed to erase a day of intense stress. It's not cheap, but it's $44 worth of heaven. I think I know what I'm doing at my lunch break. At least for another sniff/smear. And it might be just the thing for the nuture-starved lovely on your holiday gift list.
Ok, it's not just the scrumptious body oil that wows me, it's the amazing Gifts of Compassion at ABC Carpet & Home's store and website. Many orgs offer a similar donation-as-gift program, but none have such diverse offerings--or packages for certificates as nice(ABC uses hand-sewn sari fabric).
By partnering with organizations like Seva Foundation, The Ranforest Alliance, and V-Day, ABC has arranged it so you can buy a "kid for a kid"--a milking goat for a child in Haiti, for example. Or you can give a "Gift of Vision"--a much-needed eye operation for a child in a poor country. You can also make gift donations for the environment, literacy, and pet rescue.
All very cool, moving, beautiful stuff. Visit here to buy or learn more.
It always amazes me when the word—or symbol for—"peace" upsets people.
A couple in Pagosa Springs, Colo. was recently told by a community association to remove a peace sign-shaped wreath from outside their house, reports The New York Times, lest they be fined $25 a day. They told the couple the symbol was politically divisive and one member later said it looked like "a sign of the devil."
When outrage broke out, the three members of the homeowner's association resigned and neighbors held a march, hung their own symbols, and created a 300-foot peace sign on a local soccer field.
One of the sign's owners said all he meant to promote was world peace.
This all brings back vivid memories from my Quaker boarding school days during the first Iraq war. A bunch of students wove blue garbage bags into a chainlink fence on our property that faced a highway to read "peace." Oh, the calls, the harassments, the threats. The school was inundated with demands for its removal. It was my first experience of wide-eyed shock at how something that seemed so instrinsic to me, so "duh" as to be cliché, could be so controversial.
We debated long and hard at our community meeting—I lost all respect for the librarian who suggested we take it down to avoid conflict—but ultimately, peace won.
And it looks like it's winning in Colorado. It still boggles my mind though, that it was ever a question in the first place. You know?
What are your peace-sign associations? Do you wear them, hang them, think they're bad?
Just wanted to spread this far and wide. This week's cover story in the Village Voice is about the link between 9/11 and blood cancers, especially Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
That's what I just recovered from. My exposure to Ground Zero was not as intimate as the 75 recovery workers who now have some form of blood cancer, but I did run after the first plane hit, lived less than a mile from the site, and worked a block away for six months while the pit was still burning.
Lots of feelings about this. About the EPA that lied to us, boldly and blatantly, about believing them, lots of things. It's affirming though, to very nearly confirm what I had long suspected. And to know that sadly, I'm not alone.
Really great article in this week's New York magazine, "The Science of Burnout" by Jennifer Senior. The subhead alone speaks volumes: "In a culture where work can be a religion, burnout is its crisis of faith."
It's about how burnout—that crispy, dulled, done feeling—is a researched phenomenon with relatively consistent symptoms. Attempts have been made to quantify and analyze the components of burnout. Thus, the the Maslach Burnout Inventory, which posits that "one of the following six problems can fry us to a crisp: working too much; working in an unjust environment; working with little social support; working with little agency or control; working in the service of values we loathe; working for insufficient reward (whether the currency is money, prestige, or positive feedback)."
Senior also addresses the fact that businesses are only starting to acknowledge that burnout is not about laziness, lack of drive or commitment, or for the thin-skinned. She notes that one company has a week per month with no meetings and another gives an eight-week sabbatical after seven years of employment (though she points out that most Europeans get that every year).
A researcher in the story says, "'It’s kind of like ergonomics… It used to be, ‘You sit for work? Here’s a chair.’ But now we design furniture to fit and support the body. And we’re doing the same here. The environments themselves have to say, ‘We want people to thrive and grow.’"
I look forward to the day when U.S. companies realize that things like paying attention to things like light, breaks, flex time, sound, smell, décor, and certainly ample vacation time actually contribute to more productive workers who can substantially enhance the bottom line.
Does your workplace do anything to prevent burnout? What do you do to prevent it yourself?
If you have a modern-ish sensibility and live in an apartment or a small-scale house, you may love this blog as much as I do.
Apartment Therapy.com has been my haunt for the last two years or so for home-related inspiration of all kinds. It's not just hints on buying pretty stuff (though there's a lot of that too), it's about de-cluttering, getting down to inspiring basics, creating a home that reflects and nurtures the real you. I was thrilled this spring when the site's founder, Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan, came out with a book: Apartment Therapy: The Eight-Step Home Cure.
It really is a shrink for your home. Here's a description of the book's ingredients from the site:
- A therapeutic questionnaire to help you get in touch with your personal taste and diagnose your home’s physical, emotional, and energy flow issues - A prescription with recommendations for each room based on your needs and lifestyle–including tips on how to use color, lighting, and accessories - A treatment plan, including regular maintenance schedules to ensure the ongoing health of your space - Illustrations of floor plans and decorative examples that allow you to visualize concepts before you begin
What I love most is the community that's sprouted up at this site—readers snoop around people's virtual apartments (see "Mama Chilanga"'s recent re-do at left) and post comments (mostly kind, though there are inevitable snarks), ask questions about your own home dilemmas (Where can I find a sofa that will fit in my narrow doorway?). And when Maxwell and his wife had their baby a month or so ago 169 people posted their cooing congratulations. We all got a little misty and felt inexplicably proud.
You can buy the book here. And you can read a recent big story in the NYT about their teeny-tiny lovely apartment here.
As her post-"Artist's Way" work has seemed more and more recycled, one thing I still love about Julia Cameron's books is the little quotes she puts in the margins. I'm always happy to dip into these bite-sized, short-attention-span founts of wisdom.
Julia's latest, "Finding Water; The Art of Perseverance," landed on my desk today. Here are some juicy quotes from it for you to chew:
"Think before you speak is criticism's motto; speak before you think is creation's." –E.M. Forster
"Happiness walks on busy feet." – Kitte Turmell
"Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul; unbelief, in denying them." –Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I am a daylight atheist." – Brendan Behan
"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." – Carl Jung
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't" – Erica Jong
"The outer world, with all its phenomena, is filled with divine splendor. We must have experienced the divine within ourselves before we can hope to discover it in our environment." – Rudolf Steiner
My name is Valerie and I'm a Satya-holic. As often as I can afford (only a few times a year, really), I go to Satya, a wonderful "yoga-inspired" jewelry store. I walk across the slate floors and gaze at lotuses and Buddhas and Ganeshas and sparkling stones arranged by color. I try on everything yummy (basically the entire store). And then, if I'm feeling flush enough, I'll put down for a dangly, gold-vermeil-covered something-something that manages to make me feel luxe and sexy and spiritual in one trinkety swoop.
I know there's something intrinsically contradictory about yoga jewelry, especially yoga jewelry that's sold in a cute boutique on a trendy New York City street. But I love the stuff. It's organic and fancy and earthy and inspiring. And Friday brings the moment I've been waiting for since last December: the Satya sample sale!
I shouldn't even be telling you (these things are crowded enough!), but this year Satya is adding a very small sample sale section to their website. So no matter where you live, you can taste the Satya magic at less than half of retail (I swear they're not paying me). Here are the details for you to spiritually sample-shop online:
On December 1, 2, and 3 go to satyajewelry.com. Click the "Sample Sale" section where all sales will be final. And lovely.
I've just moved into a new apartment. In Brooklyn, land of my ancestors. It's sweet and cozy, and at 500 square feet just about double the size of my last place (I know, we're ridiculous here). I'm obsessive about making a house a home as soon as possible. Ideally I'd take a week off to put up shelves, organize closets, trap pre-me dust creatures, and the like. But alas. So this is a weekend-by-weekend transformation. One that is increasingly involving smelly, toxic paint.
For the major walls I've used low-VOC (Volatile Organic Compounds, known carcinogens) Benjamin Moore Eco Spec paint. But since it only comes in gallons, I'm painting smaller items (like blah pine nightstands) in full-VOC quarts. The thing is that both kinds make my lungs hurt and my glands swell a little, and give me a slight cough. Not good. Especially for me, a recent cancer survivor. But what's a decorating, color-adoring, health-guarding girl to do? Leave everything white and naked? I can't bear it.
The truth is NONE of us should be using things with labels that read, "carcinogenic"—whether that word applies to "maybe" or "mice" or anything. So why do we? Why is every grocery store brimming with toxins? Why is spackling a wall a dance with death? Though I'm as careful as I can be most of the time, I often dull my knowledge with denial, with trust. Like some nebulous "they" wouldn't allow us to use something that's really dangerous? Right?
Color me paranoid (with no-VOC tints, please). But what do you think? Do you try to limit the amount of toxins that enter your home? What risks are you willing to take in the name of aesthetics, color, craft, beauty?
Wow, if you think your Thanksgiving was sub-par or just average, read a few of the thousands of posts Martha Stewart got when she asked readers to talk about the lessons they learned from their worst Thanksgivings ever.
Burned turkeys, plumbing clogged, sliced hands in the electric knife, bad arguments with friends and relations! It's all there! One family's whole house burned down when they tried to fry their turkey. They lost everything.
posted by Chattering Mind @ 11:43 AM | Permalink |
Thanksgiving can be a tough time for people who don't eat poultry, especially when their relatives are enthusiastic meat eaters. No doubt plenty of vegans are sitting down to a family meal that disgusts them, and families aren't always as sympathetic as they should be since many devoted meat eaters still can't understand how anyone can survive on a diet devoid of animal flesh.
The compassionate host will have plenty of veggie side dishes at the table to bridge the schism. Vegetarians, have you seen this delightful Adopt-a-Turkey website that hooks up happy turkeys with foster families for a fee? Check it out.
Here's an article with the whole quandary in reverse: Beliefnet editor Alana Kornfeld writes about how she used to decorate the Thanksgiving Turkey Squash at her parents macrobiotic holiday suppers. Apparently, Alana chooses to eat some poultry now, but she has fond memories of her family's meat-free holiday suppers.
Whatever you eat this weekend and in the coming weeks, enjoy it! If you keep up with your always-healthy consumption of eight glasses of water daily, you won't overeat. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! (By the way, I'm taking an at-home vacation next week, and Beliefnet.com's spirituality editor Valerie Reiss is going to be substituting.)
"Catholicism was, to me, school,' he has said. "It was restrictions; it was things you had to do. It was your parents. It was Mass on Sunday and fish on Friday. And then when I got out of that, I got into the Army. It was the same thing--you had to have a pass to get out. You had to wear this kind of clothes, and you had to address them so-and-so . . . you've got to wear a tie to get into this restaurant or you've got to have a suit if you're going to the party. Or you don't try to [have sex with] a girl on the first date if she comes from a good family. All of those things. I was never a revolutionary. Those were just some of the things in life that you had to do."
Yet many people who know Altman feel his half-denials of Catholicism are but proof in reverse that Catholicism is embedded deeply in his life and in his films. And that the guilt, the fatalistic viewpoint, the themes of death and redemption, the ambivalent attitude toward women and family, the furtive sex and love, the questioning of command and leadership (which is a kind of Jesuitical questioning of God)--all of these, so prevalent in his films--have their roots in his early Catholicism.
Janene Mascarella wrote a wonderful piece for The Washington Post about the powerful experience of thanking people who'd been helpful to her in the past. Often nervous that the folks she was thanking would find her absurdly nutty, she was consistently met with astonishment and gratitude.
Well, why not? The website TheGratitudeList.com sells aprons and T-shirts that will keep your gratitude close to your heart all year, not just on Thanksgiving.
The blog at this site is just getting going, but you'll find several nice posts including one that translates "thank you" into virtually every language.
Deepak Chopra was schooled in medicine, but his greatest love has always been the study of the soul. His views in the new book "Life After Death: The Burden of Proof" seem especially relevant, as death seems--rightly or wrongly--closer to us all in this post-9/11 world. I encourage you to read Laura Sheahen's conversation with Chopra here. My favorite bit is when he says: "I see my body and my mind as the instruments through which I'm broadcasting myself, but, I'm not in it. It's something that I use to localize myself."
Sweet essay here on BustedHalo.com (the online mag for seekers in their 20s and 30s). In it, author Jeff Guhin gets into a conversation on saintly behavior with the Catholic teens he teaches.
posted by Chattering Mind @ 12:10 PM | Permalink |
I usually shell chestnuts the night before Thanksgiving. A couple of nights before Thanksgiving, if I'm smart.
Chestnut purée was a standard side dish at my mother's Thanksgiving dinner, and in honor of her, I try to include it at ours. The challenge comes in dealing with the chestnuts, which are a pain to cook, shell, and peel. Spend an evening with chestnuts, and you've got wrinkled, cracked finger tips the whole next day. But that's okay; they're worth it.
"The basis for the new film 'Zen Noir' is a kind of funny concept," writes Beliefnet's spirituality editor Valerie Reiss in this short review. "A noir-style detective investigates a murder in a Buddhist temple. When he asks questions, he gets slippery, koan-type answers. 'My name isn't me,' says one Buddhist. When pressed, the robed man says, 'Articulate Lotus Flowing From the Source,' which later turns into 'call me Ed.'"
Read her whole blog post on Marc Rosenbush's film here.
The folks at DuPont have regrouped and are now fighting allegations from the EPA that their Teflon coating on non-stick cookware includes a chemical that is a "likely carcinogen."
The gasses Teflon produces at high heat are certainly bad for pet birds; DuPont addresses the canary-in-a-coal-mine problem here. Lately, I've been noticing an expensive ad campaign in women's magazines featuring Carlonda R. Reilly, Dupont's manager of global technology saying, "As a scientist, I make Teflon. As a mother, I use it."
I've gotten rid of all my Teflon and I haven't looked back, though I do find myself working overtime to remove more encrusted omelette from my iron skillets (and eesh, I feel quilty that my old pans are festering in some landfill).
Where do you stand on the Teflon question?
posted by Chattering Mind @ 11:40 AM | Permalink |
Yusuf Islam's new album "An Other Cup," is getting middlin' marks on Amazon--some fans are complaining that his voice sounds "weak." But the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens has a sparkling website with audio clips of him on anger, prayer, and peace, as well as a lengthy and fascinating autobiography in which he chronicles his journey from sensitive folk star to recovering substance abuser to observant Muslim endeavoring to make a difference.
He writes:
I was now supposed to be one of the glamorous elite, cheerfully enjoying the "high life." The public expected me to live up to this image, so resorting to intoxicants was the only way for me to overcome my insecurity and shyness. I seriously lost control: staying up late, drinking, partying, smoking endless cigarettes. Within a year I found myself in hospital lying on my back sick with tuberculosis. The pop business was whizzing past me and I was left there to think: "What happened?"
Soon I became aware of my own mortality and the inevitability of death. Lying there, in a Sussex hospital deep in the country, surrounded by doctors, a lot of important questions came into my mind. That was a very important stage of my life. At that time there was a great interest in things Eastern, things transcendental: so I turned towards Peace and Flower Power. Somebody had given me a copy of a Buddhist book called "The Secret Path." That was the beginning of my ardent search for answers--clear answers, about the meaning of our existence and where it was all leading.
I started meditating; and so the centre of the universe at that time was levitating somewhere around the proximity of my belly button. I covered all the mirrors in my hospital room with paper and tried to forget the outwardness of this world and focus on my inner self...
Ebay currently hosts some 26 pages of antique/vintage holiday cards, all fun, some in boxes, some loose. Here's a CD you can buy to download vintage holiday card images and then print out with a color printer.
I inwardly chattered all Tuesday night, worried I'd been mean to James Taylor in my review of his dreary Christmas album. I'm just not a natural-born critic, I guess. How do professional reviewers subdue their smug feelings of superiority? Many don't, I guess. Plus, there's a yearning for bitchiness in our culture. But when writers descend into bitchiness, they are less honest; their reviews become schtick.
So, allow me to send you to a marvelous, and little-known song James Taylor recorded about six years ago (which I happened to recall at the peak of my worry): a Stephen Foster ballad called "Hard Times (Come Again No More)" on the album "Appalachian Journey" which includes the stellar back-up of Yo-Yo Ma, Edgar Meyer, and Mark O'Connor. Part folk, part classical, it's heart-opening and haunting, a nice thing to listen to as the autumn leaves fall.
After several months of steady use, your yoga mat's odor may get distracting in the nose-down positions of the cobra or locust. But, "once avidya is lifted, the best solutions are often the simplest," claims the ad copy for this yoga mat wash.
Developed by clever yogini Selena Stirlen, this all-natural brew can be used in a standard washing machine. It is biodegradable, nontoxic, animal friendly, and comes without a scent for $9.99 a bottle.
I didn't marry until I was 36, so I had about 15 years of heartache-y holidays--alone, unprotected, and bummed that nobody loved me. Or so I thought.
For many people, the period from Thanksgiving to New Year's is miserable and unmanageable. People rush, drink, and argue to excess. As we prepare to wrap up another year, we look over our shoulders, and often experience regret. Too often, we think about what we didn't do, instead of what we did.
So hey, healthy readers, how do you find sacred space to worship, or stay in the moment to behold all the abundance?
Click here to share with Beliefnet's editors the strategies you've developed to stay serene and observant. We want to know your secrets!
I don't know if you've got plans the evenings of November 27th and 29th, but you may well be struggling with a weighty decision: whether or not to lower yourself enough to watch O.J. Simpson talking on Fox about how he would have murdered his wife and her friend Ron Goldman if he had murdered them, but didn't murder them, you see.
Then on November 30th, ReganBooks--owned by Fox's mothership, News Corps--will release a new book by Simpson in time for the holidays, “O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened,” in which he will freely elaborate upon some of his ideas.
James Taylor's newly-released holiday album is essentially a refurbished collection from 2004, and I've got to tell you, having just spent the morning with it: It retains its highs and lows.
Old Baby James' renditions of "Jingle Bells" and "Winter Wonderland" have a sleepy, detached, I'd-rather-be-on-Martha's-Vineyard-quality--which is really too bad since I suspect they're gonna be played in every department store's elevator from now until January 2nd.
Arranger/pianist/composer David Gusin tossed in his own "Who Comes This Night" and another song called "Some Children See Him" for freshness, and that actually helps.
The best thing on this CD is Taylor's heartfelt interpretation of "Auld Lang Syne" since he actually seems to be wondering, "should old acquaintance be forgot?" If you're over 40, you'll find the pictures in the liner notes cute.
posted by Chattering Mind @ 10:15 AM | Permalink |
No Chattering Mind post has inspired as much mail as my inquiry into how folks are ending their spiritual correspondence. What follows is a list of all the marvelous ways people are ending emails and letters to their fellows on the path. "Blessings," and all its variations seem to be the most popular substitutes for "Yours Truly."
Here are all of your favorites.
Blessings, Blessings always, Blessed be, Brightest blessings, Many blessings, Stay blessed, Grace and blessings on your path, Namaste, Radiant Silence, Love and light, Love and blessings, Wishing you love, light, and blessings always, Deep bows, Gassho (Peace and all good things to you, May this day offer you just what you need in each unfolding moment, God is with you!) As always, Peace, Love, peace, and happiness, Walk in light, In Christian love for (healing, praise, honor glory, peace, mercy, etc.), Sincerely with the Grace of God, With you always, Love and laughter, Hope all is well in your world, Love, love, and more love, Love, hugs, kisses, and may God be with us, Wishing you all good things, Harm none, Live Well, Peace, love, joy, Take good care, Know that u r loved! In His grip, Watching God work, Cheerfully in Christ, God be with you, As ever and truly, Only by Grace, Love and hugs and prayers, Grace abounds, Be God's, Yours in meditation, Maranatha, In Jesus's love, until He comes, In gratitude, May your day be filled with peace, Wishing you joy and sunshine, With thoughts and prayers, Magic always, Celebrate life! With all that I am, May God keep you in his warm and comforting embrace, You are in my heart,
I know you will find a new way to sign your own letters from this wonderful list. Blessings and thanks to those who who wrote in!
"That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming."
Magic Cabin started as a hand-made doll catalog, and year after year, the lovely, natural toys and craft kits it features give me greater faith in all humanity!
Get a paper copy of the catalog mailed to you or shop online. And please, tell me which websites, catalogs, and store you use this time of year and where you like to shop.
Take a walk down Memory Lane when you check out Beliefnet's slideshow of fallen religious leaders. And remember this advice from His Holiness the Dalai Lama: "Rely on the teachings to evaluate a guru: do not have blind faith, but also [have] no blind criticism."
My warm thanks go to CM reader Daria for writing this in response to the revelations regarding minister Ted Haggard's secret life:
"I read Ted Haggard's letter to his congregation and was surprised to find him taking responsibility, apologizing, asking for forgiveness, and blaming no one. I thought of how Martha Stewart, Ken Lay, and Mel Gibson all failed at this. So while I may deplore Haggard's actions, I don't condemn the man. (If anything, I empathize with his brokenness.)
I'd encourage anyone who is quick to judge (or condemn) to read this letter as well as the one written by Gayle, his wife...What happens next in the Haggard's lives may be the purest example of how they live their faith. Isn't our response also a demonstration of our own?"
And gracious thanks to CM regular Myrna Weinreich for posted this on the same subject: "Forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness!! Or is it compassion as well? Let's start trees of forgiveness and plant them all over the universe!"
posted by Chattering Mind @ 11:58 AM | Permalink |
Notice how, in this piece by Richard Dawkins called "Why I Am Hostile Towards Religion," Dawkins refuses to write the word "bible" with a capital "B" unless he's quoting a Christian author whose work was originally published with the "B" upper case.
My friend Myra, a graduate of New York's Institute for Integrative Nutrition, has launched her own nutritional consulting business, and I signed on as a client last spring thinking I'd get good nutritional tips (that I could then pass on to you), as well as some help with my anemia. Little did I know that psychotherapy would come gratis as part of the package!
Myra believes that most people won't cook healthy meals at home if they feel they can't prepare them quickly. The need for speed in our lives is what often drives us to eat frozen, prepared foods or carry-out meals from restaurants (all of which tend to be high in sodium and fat).
I sometimes come home with the children in the late afternoon having no idea what's on my menu for dinner. Just not a clue. I've tried different ways of getting organized and stocking my whole foods pantry, but I'm often tempted to grab California roll from sushi bars on my way home because the idea of facing my kitchen some nights is almost unbearable.
Myra seemed to quickly comprehend the lay of the land chez moi. And for several hours, she held her tongue and just worked with me to see that it made no sense to have my spices where I couldn't see them, bowls where I couldn't reach them, and pans stored in the stove. My knives were housed in a long narrow drawer, which made grabbing one a dangerous proposition. My counters were clean, but cluttered with appliances. Sound familiar? And son of a gun! It had become so difficult to find utensils that I'd gone out and purchased more, so during Myra's visit, I found four spatulas, two can openers, and two melon ballers! We found a box in the basement and threw in all the utensils I didn't need in duplicate. We also decanted a lot of beans and grains from their food co-op bags, and put them in stackable containers like these.
Before Myra departed, she turned to me and said with great warmth and intelligence: "As for homework, I'd like you to think a little bit about why you let your kitchen get this way, and why you chose..." she paused to put some black-eyed peas into my pantry, "to disown your power in this manner."
Phew! Chattering thoughts rushed in as I sat in the silence of my better-organized kitchen to reflect. My own mother was a glamorous chef and gourmet goddess, the pride of our suburban neighborhood, always whipping up something exotic, over-the-top, and delicious. Could it be that four years after her death (as a result of a major stroke she had as she happened to be tenderizing flank steak in her state-of-the-art kitchen), I still think Mom's in charge of meals? Could it be that I am reluctant to compete with her?
So dear readers, send me descriptions of your kitchen and your relation to it--what's working for you there, and what's not--and tell us all how your kitchen influences the food you prepare. If it's a chore to prepare meals, as it was for me pre-Myra, we can talk more. Men chime in, please. I know many families have more kitchen-duty equity than we Chatterings currently savor, so I'd love to hear about how, if you're coupled, you blend your organizational and cooking styles in one space.
Here's the thing: If you are unhappy with your kitchen, you shouldn't resign yourself to remaining unhappy. Think more about cooking efficiency and see how many extra minutes it's taking you to cook when you can't quickly access your equipment. Remember food is spiritual, food is love; it won't taste as good if it comes out of a setting that constantly frustrates. Also, from Feng Shui, you'll learn that the kitchen can manifest financial wellbeing. So what pleasure you take in the preparation of your meals is paramount.
Westin Hotel's smoking ban is in full flower after a year's work and a $3 million investment in its (fittingly named) BREATHE campaign. Smokers will be billed an additional $200 room fee if they smoke anywhere in the hotels, but I wonder how the heck hotel managers will enforce that. Of course, outdoor smoking space will be provided. Here's the latest TV ad.
"...today it is arguably more shameful and damaging to be a hypocritical closet case than it is to be a sex worker. Even those delighted by Mr. Haggard’s disgrace — disclosure: I count myself among their number — ache for his five children, all suffering now for the sins of their father. And let me be clear: their father’s sin is not his sexual orientation, but his deceit and hypocrisy. His sin is the closet."
Thanks to Glittering Muse blogger David Garnet for alerting me to the existence of this laughing baby clip. Helps you understand while some people drink or take drugs to get to this luscious, open space. Of course, there are healthier ways, like honest laughter, as this baby teaches us...
posted by Chattering Mind @ 12:09 PM | Permalink |
As I write this, the country is finishing up a day of voting. Whether you're voting red or blue or chartreuse, there's no doubt this has been a decidedly unspiritual past month, politically speaking; mud has been slung on all sides.
The back cover includes this quote from Jon Kabat-Zinn: "Imagine a mindful politics! That is exactly what these thinkers, activists, and teachers are doing in this marvelous collection of essays. May these perspectives and practices inspire, inform, and nurture the next generation of political leaders as well as all of us--as we ponder and hopefully contribute to the health of the body-politic, which is nothing less now than the health of the whole world."
The press kit even came with a cute political-style button that says it all: "It's the Ego Stupid."
Gee, what got into me? I stayed up late shopping online for holiday bed linens again. And then, I didn't buy a thing. It's the same every year. I say to myself, "Oh, it's silly to buy bed sheets just for the winter holidays," but then the next year, I find myself looking around again, wondering what life with holiday sheets might feel like.
Here and here and here are nice patterns for cold winter nights. For kids, these and these are sweet. Of course, all flannel sheets are scrumptious; get the most expensive you can afford, otherwise, you'll find flannel fuzz forever clogged in your clothes dryer.
While you're browsing in the flannel sheet department, don't forget to get some hot water bottles--for yourself or to wrap as winter gifts.
I actually put my growing boys (don't tell them I told you this) to bed with one each and every night from November through February. They seem to find them soothing, and of course hot water bottles do warm the bed! I love mine at my feet mostly, but on my stomach too, occasionally.
And there are so many fun places to shop: look here for a general survey. Here's one with little fish visible swimming. Here's a cute one in the shape of a heart. Here and here you'll find hand-knit hot water bottles covers that two crafty bloggers created. This sort of hot water bottle cover is adorable, but I've found that the fabric contains the heat on the wrong side of the bottle. Oh, and here, well... don't even look at this one. It's not at all spiritual. Forget I mentioned it.
posted by Chattering Mind @ 12:29 AM | Permalink |
"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you don’t bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you."
posted by Chattering Mind @ 11:46 AM | Permalink |
In the novel, Elmer Gantry is a fictionalized Christian evangelist who drinks, womanizes and secretly indulges in a life of the senses. During the course of the novel, the curtain rises on Gantry's house of lies, but he survives the calamities.
I'm actually surprised that no one covering the Haggard scandal has referred back to this old classic. I always love it when literature brings forward themes decades before life reenacts them, though I daresay hypocritical men of the cloth are as old as the Holy Land. No, even older, I guess. Anyway, here's a salient passage from the book's closing chapter:
"He stood at his study door, watching the robed choir filing out to the auditorium chanting. He realized how he had come to love the details of his church; how, if his people betrayed him now, he would miss it: the choir, the pulpit, the singing, the adoring faces.
It had come. He could not put it off. He had to face them.
Feebly the Reverend Dr. Gantry wavered through the door to the auditorium and exposed himself to twenty-five hundred question marks.
They rose and cheered--cheered--cheered. Theirs were the shining faces of friends.
Without planning it, Elmer knelt on the platform, holding his hands out to them, sobbing, and with him they all knelt and sobbed and prayed, while outside the locked glass door of the church, seeing the mob kneel within, hundreds knelt on the steps of the church, on the sidewalk, all down the block."
This passage points to the devotion and forgiveness in people--something Ted Haggard may one day appreciate. But in "Elmer Gantry," it's a little unclear to me whether Gantry's own followers are applauding him for being exactly who he is--a lovable, sinning scoundrel, or whether they're assuming that his faith will prevent him from diverging from the righteous path ever again. In the book's final paragraphs, Sinclair Lewis clearly indicates that Elmer Gantry isn't apt to change, since he's shown checking out a pretty girl in the choir he'd like to get to know.
Does anyone out there who has studied "Elmer Gantry" have additional thoughts?
posted by Chattering Mind @ 10:57 AM | Permalink |
We don't really know yet which charges against Ted Haggard are true or false, but it's impossible to watch the unfolding of the evangelical pastor's alleged gay sex scandal without thinking of Carl Jung's writings on "shadow"—the least acknowledged or examined parts of the self—and Ken Wilber's belief in the importance of shadow integration for personal growth. For both, the essential idea is what you repress and hate most, you are. And if you don't "own" your shadow, and raise it into your conscious, waking life you're going to get busted in one way or another!
A shadow can be a hidden power—like when a timid woman feels she can't get angry, or when a kind-hearted man can't be assertive. It can be anything you disown in yourself or find yourself hating in others. In fact, what you find yourself hating most in the outer world is always a tip-off; this is an area where your psyche could use, as they say, "a little work." Jung himself said, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." It almost seems like Shakespeare had anti-gay gay Christians in mind when he wrote: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
Based on the allegations we're gathering about the clash between Ted Haggard's day job and personal life, I'd say he may be getting caught with his shadow showing. Too bad Carl Jung's not available for appointments today, but I'm sure that if any of the recent allegations are true, the reverend will quickly find the help he needs to bring all of his personalities to the dinner table.
As I grapple with a father and two in-laws who hate the idea of assisted-living communities, I keep insisting "As for me, I'm ready to move into one now." Who can beat daily yoga classes in the rec room, Tai Chi, movie night, poker, trivia games, plus round-the-clock nursing? Count me in, I'm on my way! But today's New York Times offers a palpable taste of a beautiful future: an article about how spa developers have updated the healthy-residence concept and made it for those who're still young (and ultra-affluent): SPADOMINIUMS!
Some of you guys seemed annoyed with me for saying anything nice about KFC (its executives have just agreed to use a healthier, trans-fat-free frying oil). I don't eat Kentucky Fried Chicken, but some 736 millions chickens are sold at their franchised stores annually.
Yep, they've got a long way to go on the MSG, skipping the antibiotics and hormones, and raising/slaughtering their chickens humanely, etc. But shifting to a healthier frying oil is a terrific advance! We must rejoice in their enlightened corporate leadership. If we stay polarized "against" and treat the company's executives like our sworn enemies, no further progress will be made. We should write letters of thanks since the health of those who do eat the product is also of serious concern to us. Then we can work to convince them that a clientele awaits a healthier, humanely-raised bird. God willing, the stock price of Whole Foods may one day convince them.
Veteran reporters like Leroy Sievers can work in relative obscurity for thirty years (he covered major stories for CBS and ABC, and then was Nightline's executive producer), before stepping fully in the public eye (opening up the whole world's heart in fact), with an uplifting personal recovery story.
In Sievers' case, it's cancer he's talking about, and he's already composed many commentaries for NPR about his travails and complex thoughts. Get podcasts here, or follow his blog. Or click here to have his weekly progress emailed to you.
posted by Chattering Mind @ 12:13 PM | Permalink |
"Look in the mirror once or twice a day, full on, eyes into eyes and say, 'I accept myself unconditionally right now.' After 30 days, you'll find that your life and health will improve."
"It took me an hour to turn the clocks back an hour, coordinating all the watches and digital alarm clocks and oven clock and kitchen clock and car clocks to Central Standard Time, during which a man starts to question the entire concept of promptitude, meetings, appointments, etc., which leads to thoughts of retirement, the End of the Trail, Old Paint, the part of your life when it doesn't matter so much if it's 9:30 or 10:05, or even if it's Tuesday or Saturday, when you drift along as most mammals do, eating when hungry, sleeping when sleepy, and meeting whoever you meet whenever you meet them."
Chattering Mind is a blog on motherhood, aging, health and healing, yoga, whole foods, spiritual music, meditation, as well as the struggle to manage time and clutter.
Read more about writer Amy Cunningham.
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