by Dr. Susan Corso, seedsforsanctuary.com
Oh, just everything. The name of something is its nature. Think of nearly every fairy tale ever written. Being a namer of anything gives one power.
The first time I saw the title of the book I am about to recommend, I froze. No, I shivered. Shivered deep into my menopausal layers of clothing. You know how it sometimes happens that you recognize something and you don’t know why? Try this.
“The Queen of My Self—Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife”
I had to have the book. Had to. Amazon.com was made for the likes of me. Donna Henes, internationally recognized urban shaman, writer, and artist, is the author. I waited two days. When it arrived, despite the fact that I was working to a strict timeline for a corporate client, I put everything down and sat with the book in my lap on the porch—and shivered.
Opening the cover, I began to read it and weep. Quite literally. I had a name for myself. True confessions: I’d known I was a princess from the time I was born, but the thing about being a princess is that, over time, we grow up. We can’t help it. What do we grow into? The Queen.
Donna Henes was approaching 50 (as am I) and the traditional mythological model for female experience didn’t work for her. The female trinity of myth is Maiden, Mother, Crone. She wasn’t a crone at 49! Not old enough, experienced enough, wise enough, wrinkled enough. Neither am I.
Donna is an iconoclast. Is an archetype not right? No problem. We’ll find a new one. Because she’s the real thing, Donna dug deep into herself and discovered the Queen. In her book, she tells you how she found her own inner Queen, and how we can find our own—if we choose.
The first half of her book tells us the herstory of the Queen and Donna’s own story. In the second half, there are Queenly how-to’s under the rubric The Queen Suggests…. Let me just say this about her suggestions… it’s no mistake that the piece on a chess board which has the greatest freedom of movement is the Queen.
Fifteen days after I turned 40, my mother died, and all hell broke loose. I will not be sorry to see the end of this decade in my life. What I can tell you unequivocally though is that now that I have a name for myself for the next decade, I can’t wait.
Donna Henes lives in, and I quote, “Exotic Brooklyn.” Her book can be purchased from www.thequeenofmyself.com
Many, many thanks, Donna! Long live the Queen!
posted May 21, 2007 at 9:48 pm
Thanks so much for highlighting this extraordinary book. My response to it was very much the same as yours. The Queen of My Self changed my outlook on aging. I am now excited about all of the opportunities waiting for me as I continue to pursue my path. Donna Henes is the queen of positive thinking and proactive ideas for empowerment. Her book is on my nightstand, right at hand for when I need a dose of royal support. Long live the queen, indeed!
posted May 22, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Well, this sounds like a must-read to me. While I remember turning 30 with dread, my forties are proving a different matter, entirely. I love the age I am now, and wouldn’t be any younger for all the world. In fact, I feel more than ever that the world is already at my feet. And that’s with two kids still at home
posted May 24, 2007 at 7:36 pm
I’m surrounded by women in mid-life, and with rare exception, they are all vital and fully engaged with life. Like the queeen, we feel like this is the best time in our life; focused, loving and grateful are we.Reading your post left me thinking of another kindred spirit, the poet, educator and shephardess, Mary Rose O’Reilly, who writes about an archaeology of memory …. “…Perhaps it is only in midlife that we can begin to get a sense of what we have left behind us. We kind of look over our left shoulder and see this unraveling of a life behind us, whereas before that we’re kinda stuck in an intersection with traffic coming from all directions and we can’t quite get a sense of what the path backward has been…. it’s kind of like our last chance to get our whole web of experience together…if not then, when, I guess…” I’ve just started reading her memoir/essays, The Love of Impermanent Things which explores the daring of midlife. Two paws up.
posted May 28, 2007 at 3:18 pm
Every Autumn Equinox when we are celebrating Persephone’s descent – (in Goddess tradition as we do it at my place, She is descending voluntarily for the gaining of Wisdom and to console and rejuvenate the dead), “Demeter” addresses each “Persephone” in this way: “I give you the wheat – the Mystery – the knowledge of life and death. I let you go as Daughter(Child), most loved of Mine you descend to Sovereignty, to Wisdom, you become Queen(Sovereign). You will return as Mother, co-Creator with me. You are the Seed in the Fruit, becoming the Fruit in the Seed. Inner Wisdom guides your path.” We all wear purple mostly … the color of Sovereignty. Glenys http://pagaian.org
posted May 29, 2007 at 4:08 am
How can this be?? I know myself as a seeker, and have never heard of becoming a “Queen” in my 50s? Is 60 the new 40? I am in my final year of my 50s, and have never felt so secure and aware in my life! Looking backward seems almost to me like a betrayal of what I have become. I can see the lessons hard-learned and painful, that led to the WOMAN I am now. Never having been blessed (?) with children, I have not gone through the “Mother” change. However, I have always had the feeling that I am “Mother Courage,” constantly building up my two late husbands, my women peers, and the men I have in my life now. I entered menopause early, but still have a desire for intimacy. It is a drive I hope I never lose…A QUEEN? Yes – I deserve the title!!