The terrorist attacks in Mumbai have really shaken me to the core. I lived in India for 13 years – and love it dearly. I know and love (and hate too – of course) the Maximum City aka Mumbai – and cannot bear to think of this vibrant, generous city under seige. 

Religion is pretty much a taboo topic in India – and I grew up a pretty secular Indian. In the past 10 years, I have become more thoughtful about religion – and have always been torn between my Muslim and my Indian identities. And now – - I am even more torn. As an Indian – I am extremely angry and upset.  India is a secular country with great promise and extremists are trying to tear it apart – ruining it for all hardworking decent and honest Indians. I am deeply worried for the safety of close friends, family and fellow Indians because quite honestly – I think this is only the beginning of attacks like this in India. India is vulnerable as a target and unfortunately this attack on ‘posh’ India was quite successful. 

As a Muslim though – my feelings are so much more complex. I will not be apologetic for my religion. In my mind these were not religious attacks in the name of jihad. And  – I do not want Indian Muslims or Pakistanis or any Muslims to be punished in any way for the acts of extremists. I hope that South Asians (in South Asia not just in America) will unite in light of this tragedy. And globally – I hope that Muslims/Muslim countries do not suffer because of these attacks. But my deepest and most immediate worry is for Indian Muslims. They are on the ground, very vulnerable and very misunderstood. Muslims (the poorest are affected the most) are suffering desperately in India from underrepresentation in government, high levels of illiteracy and poverty, and rising levels of communal tension. Attacks like these do not help. I hope that as a result of these attacks South Asian Muslims will unite as Muslims not just South Asians. I hope that Indian Muslims will invest in  the future of Muslims in India and not run from the religion or from association with the religion. 

Only time will tell.