Just me,

You must have heart of gold and much patience. Or fear of being alone, which obviously you feel you already are. My heart goes out to you. Have you talked to the Lord about this and asked him to give you a new direction and purpose for yourself? It worked for me when I was at wits end on many occasions. Please let me know how you are doing.ok?

Posted by: littleDreamer | January 8, 2008 8:58 PM

I walked away from a 11 year marriage of MAJOR physical and mental abuse FOR my little girls. I don't believe I ever would have left him if I had never realized what someone told me. "As long as you stay in this relationship, you are showing your girls that that is how a man treats you and they will end up with that" well, she was so right so I packed up and left without turning back. God gave me a beautiful 2nd husband, we have been together 11 years now, married 5. He showed/shows my children how a dad "should" be and I feel very blessed for that. He's never had children of his own and my girls were 7 and 9 so they know his love more than their dad's. Their dad died the year after I remarried due to an overdose, it was the toughest thing I have had to live through. Sucked!!! Now I have a friend of 25+ years and she walked away after I asked her to fix something in our relationship. Communication back-fired on me with that one. It hurts more than when I left my ex-husband but I've done all I can do to make the relationship better and I can't keep letting her hurt me the way she did. I kept quiet for 18 years cause I didn't want her child out of my life, now he's 18 and I brought it up to her and she did exactly what I "knew" she'd do, so why does it hurt so much? Time heals all wounds, I just hope it doesn't take too long.

Posted by: Mary | January 11, 2008 8:20 AM

I think we first have to dispell the myth of "Nice women " are content to be wives and Mothers, and giving our daughters the ability to stand on their own, and be proud of it.
Even today, we are taught that marriage and Mother hood are the things a woman needs for fulfillment, and that we have to do EVERYTHING in our power to save it, even to the detriment of our physical and mental well being.
Conflict, whether with a friend or spouse is normal, no two different people can possibly agree on everything, but I think the important thing is to pick the battles, leaving the toilet seat up, not that important really in the grand scheme of things, cheating or abuse of any kind, those are BIG and should be dealt with immediatly (like at the dating phase when he calls you either a W- word or C-word ), finances should be done as a couples project (yes, even if you don't like it ).

Posted by: luckycat | June 17, 2008 7:01 AM