Are there moments when you've wished you could go back to the woman or man you were 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago? I have. I think often about the woman I was in my 20's and 30's.
Mind you, I don't miss being twentysomething and thirtysomething. Reliving those years does not interest me. Spare me all that drama; Being fiftysomething suits me just fine. I like the woman I've become. But I do wish sometimes that I could go back and bless myself with the love and confidence I desperately longed for back then. I was wracked with self-destructive behavior in my 20's and self-doubt in my 30's. And there were lots of reasons for this. But if I'd known then what I know now, I could have spared myself some of the recriminations I heaped on myself. I wouldn't have been so hard on myself. I could have been kinder, more forgiving to myself and sought the help that I needed so desperately.
Sometimes it's good to sit down and write a letter to your younger self. Tell your younger self what you wish you'd known then but didn't.
Bless your younger self today with the words of wisdom and comfort you needed desperately to hear and know back then. Write and assure your younger self that while it appears that it wouldn't at the time, things did work themselves out for your greater good.
--Renita Weems
The Inner Wisdom of Aging
Thursday April 9, 2009
Categories: Inner Wisdom with Renita Weems
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In a lot of ways I am very happy to be 56 years old and not 20 years younger,why because I am learning from my younger days that I no longer have to be in conflict and discard with myself and others.You see I am either enough right now or I am not.I know now that change must take place in my life in order for me to learn what God,s plans are for me.
I love the term "discard with myself and others". I too have learned that every "thread" of my life is to be honored. If it had not been for the events that took place in my life when I was younger, I do not believe that I would have learned to appreciate the valiant me, that I have become. You see, I know myself so much better now. And I have learned not to relie solely on myself. Those threads were there to teach me, and I am thankfull for the lessons.
My 23-y.o. niece just called. Her "husband" left her. Why? Because she "picks at" him all the time; they fight all the time. I didn't know that they fought, but I have been trying to teach her, and my 27-y.o. daughter, too, to live in harmony with the people around them. There is no need for the "discord" in themselves or with others; Christ died that we might live. And we are are equally good (or bad) in His sight. The only law He left was that we should love our neighbors as we love ourselves. How can I do that if I don't love myself? I can't. My husband told her that I had taught him by example to hold his breath and not speak until he could speak lovingly. I've been trying to teach them, as well, but maybe that's not a 20-something lesson. Maybe loving yourself enough to be gentle with yourself isn't a 20-something lesson, either. I can't remember when I learned those lessons--only that I did. And I learned from my gran and my mom that the only true way to teach anything was by example because no one likes to have their nose rubbed in being wrong. My husband and I married as 40-something adults; there SHOULD be some adult viewpoints by then, shouldn't there? Our boys don't seem to need to learn to love themselves, or to forgive themselves, but, oh, my, the girls SURE do! How do I teach this, because I'm not succeeding with them...
I AM "40"! MY DECEASED SISTER HATED THAT NUMBER NEVER WANTED TO MEET 40 AND SHE DIDNT. I THANK GOD FOR IT. I FIND MYSELF UNABLE TO TOLERATE THE THINGS THAT I DID BEFORE. THE CHILDISHNESS OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I HAVE MATURED. I SEE THINGS SO DIFFERENTLY NOW.I ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT PEOPLE CHANGED WHEN THEY GOT OLDER BECAUSE THEY FELT THAT THEY WERE GETTING CLOSER TO THE END OF THEIR LIVES, AN ARE AFRAID OF THE UNKNOWN. BUT NOW I KNOW. THAT IS NOT THE CASE AT ALL.ON THE CONTRARY, IT IS DUE TO WHAT WE HAVE LEARNED AND DO KNOW THAT HAS MADE US CHANGE. MATURITY COMES FROM SO MANY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS. PAST EXPERIENCE IS ONE OF THE STRONGEST PATHS OF MATURITY. I WOULD NOT GIVE UP THIS AGE FOR NOTHING.NOT 20 NOT 30.I WOULDN'T AN I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT. FOR IF I DID I WOULD NOT HAVE MY THREE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, SOMETHING WOULD HAVE ALTERED THE COURSE OF MY LIFE ,ANYTHING, THAT IS NOT NEGOTIABLE AT ALL. AGING IS A WONDERFUL THING! AND I AM STILL LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING A LOT MORE OF IT, GOD WILLING.
I am 43 and hate the fact that I am getting old,It has taken over my life.{every waking minute}I would just rather stay hid in my house so no one can see me,I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror a constant reminder.I just got married in Sept. to the best man anyone could ask for and I ask myself everyday WHY!He is going to see me old and ugly.I can't even enjoy being a newlywed.I just wish sometime's that I never got married so when I do start aging worse I could go and hide for the rest of my life.I wish I could be differrant but I just believe there is no hope for me to ever get out of this rut.All I see is UGLY!
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