Recently in Finding Ways to Be Fearless Category

I spent nine years with my ex-boyfriend, Bernard. It would have been easy for me to decide that Bernard wouldn't marry me because I wasn't good enough or I wasn't the woman he wanted--because, in short, he had rejected me. I had certainly worked hard at the beginning of our relationship to gain his approval, in part because he was older and more learned than I was. But deep down, I knew his fear of commitment had nothing to do with me. Many women stay in unhappy relationships because they crave the approval of their partner--it is what lets them feel OK about themselves. But here's the rub: The only way to truly love another person is first to learn to love and accept ourselves and our shortcomings.

Are you in a relationship in which you can be your best self? Make a list of what you see as your shortcomings, and next to each one, brainstorm some ways in which these traits have also benefited you.

--Arianna Huffington

In the book I talk about the first big love of my life: Bernard Levin. We met on a panel for a British TV show when I was 21. Bernard was twice my age exactly, with an encyclopedic knowledge of just about everything. We were together for almost nine years, and I was crazy about him. Around the time that I turned 30, I realized he was never going to marry me: he had no interest in children, and no interest in settling down. I was desperate to have children. I knew what I had to do, and it was the toughest, most fearless decision I've ever made: I left him. Not only did I leave him, but I left London as well, and moved to New York. I was terribly afraid to be on my own, especially in a new country, but I pushed through the fear, and that decision got me to where I am today.

What benefits have you gained by striking out on your own, whether in actuality or metaphorically? How has your sense of self deepened because of it?

--Arianna Huffington

Growing up in Athens, I would venture away from home out into the neighborhood, but I was never without a mother. Every woman on our block would treat me like her daughter, whether it was to feed me or scold me. Of course, life is much different today, but it's possible to re-create that world by building an extended family of grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friends from whom to draw strength and fearless support. I am fortunate to have my sister Agapi, who has become like a second mother to my children.

Do you have a fearless tribe around you? If not, who would you invite to join you and why?

--Arianna Huffington

After eleven years of marriage, when it became clear that divorce was the only option, I was consumed by fear: How would I tell my two daughters? If I broke up the family they knew, would it change them irreversibly? Would they understand? It was my job to keep their lives as pain-free as possible, and here I was, about to hurt them beyond measure. It wasn't easy, but I knew that staying in an unhappy marriage would ultimately be more damaging to them, not to mention to me. I had to be fearless for them: I had to show them that everything would be okay. In doing so, I came to believe it myself.

What are some of the choices you've made that required fearless thinking? Can you list some fearless choices your own parents made that you can appreciate now?

--Arianna Huffington

After eleven years of marriage, when it became clear that divorce was the only option, I was consumed by fear: How would I tell my two daughters? If I broke up the family they knew, would it change them irreversibly? Would they understand? It was my job to keep their lives as pain-free as possible, and here I was, about to hurt them beyond measure. It wasn't easy, but I knew that staying in an unhappy marriage would ultimately be more damaging to them, not to mention to me. I had to be fearless for them: I had to show them that everything would be okay. In doing so, I came to believe it myself.

What are some of the choices you've made that required fearless thinking? Can you list some fearless choices your own parents made that you can appreciate now?

--Arianna Huffington

My daughter Isabella and I joke about another of my fears: that she'll actually get her driver's license. The real fear, of course, is not only for my daughter's safety, but for my efficacy as a parent. I'm convinced that...

When my daughter Isabella was 11, she became preoccupied with everything she ate. She no longer touched sugar, she avoided carbs, and she exercised constantly. It wasn't until her 12th birthday party, when she refused to eat a piece of...

I mentioned finding some kind of exercise you can stick to and enjoy. I am not a naturally athletic person, so when I hit my forties and realized it was either shape up or go the way of my beautiful...

I grew up in Greece, where people eat lots of fruits and vegetables, a lot of fish, and a lot--I mean a lot--of olive oil. Even healthier was the attitude people had toward their food: one of celebration, gratitude, and...

Because I am raising two teenage daughters in the image-conscious city of Los Angeles, I have become more aware than ever of the games we play with our self-esteem. As women, we tend to compare ourselves with the flawless images...

My daughter Christina's favorite part of the book is where I say that if we could TiVo our inner voice, we would realize that not even our worst enemies talk about us the way we talk to ourselves. I call...

When I began to write my book "On Becoming Fearless," I knew it would take courage because many of the lessons I wanted to share about fearlessness came to me through some pretty personal journeys. As I saw it, however,...

I hope that these exercises have shown you the beginnings of a roadmap to fearlessness. One of the benefits of sharing your fears with others is the reminder that fear is universal--we can all relate to moments of fear, just...

I should mention of course that there are some healthy fears; after all, this is how our intuition keeps us intact. And if your life goal involves changing the world, fear is not an unreasonable response at first (especially if...

There's a saying I keep on my desk: "If you do your 10 percent 100 percent [of the time], God will do the 90 percent and you'll live in grace." Whatever you want to call that higher meaning, without faith...

My mother was a big believer in abundance, which for her had more to do with her state of mind than it did with money. In practical terms, this meant offering everyone, from her friends to the UPS man, a...

In 2003, I ran for governor of California. During the televised debate, Arnold Schwarzenegger responded to one of my rebuttals by telling me to drink more decaf, a remark I cannot imagine him making that comment to a male candidate....

I learned an important lesson in 1996 when I agreed to join Al Franken for a segment called "Strange Bedfellows" during Comedy Central's coverage of the elections. Al and I held our political debates from a bed in the middle...

I'll admit it: I've been single, I've been married, I've been divorced, and along the way I've learned how to land on my feet, self intact, no matter what happens. (The presence of my sister and my two wonderful daughters...

As we know, well-behaved women rarely make history. Part of becoming fearless is being open and assertive about what we want, and knowing we are strong enough to walk away if the person we love isn't able to give it...

When I launched my blog the Huffington Post, I was in my 50s and well on my way to fearlessness: I had already learned how detrimental it can be to let your critics influence your goals. HuffPo had its detractors,...