Holiday Survival Tips: December 2007 Archives

31. New Year’s resolutions are made by type-A, overachieving, perfectionistic hypocrites. You don’t want to join their circles, do you? Or do you?



Plus: If you do, share your video resolutions here.

30. Take note of the Christmas cards streaming in now. These are normal people (as long as their letters don’t exceed three pages) who you should invest your time and energy in.


Plus: Try Restorative Yoga to relieve fatigue and stress.

29. Don’t even think about taking your tree down yet. We get to celebrate until the Feast of the Epiphany, the twelfth day after Christmas, when the wise men show up. On this day, maybe we will have an epiphany of how next year’s holiday should go.

Plus: What are your New Year's resolutions?

28. There’s a lesson in "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer": He turned a sore, red nose into a real asset. I wonder if Santa has any use for droopy boobs (courtesy of breastfeeding) and a flabby behind?


Plus: Have you joined the Beyond Blue discussion group yet?

27. Remember H.A.L.T.: Don’t get too Horny, Annoying, Loopy, or Tacky. And for every criticism you hear, put out a Q-TIP (Quit Taking It Personally).

Plus: Discuss spirituality & depression on the message boards.

21. You are less than a week from the beginning of a new year. Therefore practice every bad habit with gusto and participate freely in every obnoxious behavior of yours for the next six days. Plus: Watch Therese's video New...

20. Peace. Love. Joy. That’s what all this madness is really about. Plus: Check out the complete Beliefnet Guide to Christmas....

19. Watch “It’s a Wonderful Life,” and during the part where George is about to jump, list the reasons why you couldn’t. Place that list in your "Self-Esteem File." If you couldn’t think of anything, click here for Beliefnet’s "Find...

18. Do unto others what you would do unto them when you were sober. Plus: Listen to sounds of the season with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir....

17. Every time you water your tree do something nice for yourself: Stretch your neck muscles for ten minutes, take ten deep breaths, or eat ten small Kit-Kats. Plus: Relax with a movie! Check out the top holiday movies of...

16. Don’t send a Christmas card to anyone you wouldn’t want to have over for dinner. Plus: Pick Your Favorite Christmas Photo...

15. Be polite to anyone who's preparing your food (that includes spouses, siblings, and in-laws). Plus: One priest's advice for beating Christmas burnout....

14. Try to stick to the four main food groups from the movie "Elf": candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup. Children, especially, thrive on this diet. Plus: Something sure to cheer you up: Enter the holiday caption contest....

13. Pick your battles. Or, better yet, become a pacifist codependent who ignores your battles. No one will mind. Plus: Check out Therese's 7 quick ways to calm down....

12. "Fun" spelled backward is “NUF”: No Use Fighting! Plus: Relax with some new Christmas music....

11. Feeling nervous, shaky, overwhelmed? Don't attempt to make a gingerbread house. I volunteered to make 17 last year, and it nearly had me in the hospital again. Plus: Instead, try these Holiday Party Recipes....

10. “God” spelled backward is “dog,” which might have something to do with the Son of God being born in an animal stable. Plus: A baby to soothe your spirit this season. Enter a caption for this photo!...

9. Parents of young ones: This is PRIME bribing season. Take advantage of Santa's wrath on your naughty children. Plus: Check out members' calming Christmas photos....

8. For the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, think about this: If God made a Savior without sex, think of what he can do with you! Plus: Do you eat when you're stressed? Discuss stress and your appetite here....

7. The real meaning of Christmas doesn't have anything to do with newly purchased gifts wrapped with just the right bow. If you are as cheap and tacky as I am, it's about matching which of last year's gifts to...

6. Unfortunately, Christians don't believe in reincarnation. Jesus is our only hope for getting it right. He's a big deal. That's why Catholic schools are closed for three weeks in December--in celebration of Christmas and to give miserable parents a...

5. "Bah, Humbug" spelled backward is Gub, Muhhab, which is Hebrew for "close your mouth during the holidays." No, it actually isn't - but doesn't it sound like it should be? Plus: Need to calm down? Try Restorative Yoga during...

4. Aim to be more like the Easter Bunny, who doesn't keep a naughty/nice list, and less like Santa, the judgmental guy in the red suit with high cholesterol. Plus: Watch this video - The 12 Bipolar Days of Christmas....

3. Make sure to stock your freezer full of dark chocolate: it's better frozen and it makes a wonderful substitute for sex....

2. Delete from your address book all persons who have mailed their Christmas cards before December 1st, write holiday letters more than three pages long, and/or have all their shopping done by Halloween. That's just not right. Plus: Share your...

1. Never take advice from a person who doesn't enjoy dessert. Plus: Check out Therese's 7 quick ways to calm down....