Inner Wisdom with Renita Weems: April 2009 Archives

Synchronicity is what the Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung describes as inner readiness intersecting with outer opportunities. It's the curious way in which a person's external reality suddenly clicks into alignment with what's taking place in her inner world. Think about the timing when certain things fell apart or when others things came together in your life. Had you been in your mid-20's instead of being in your late 30's when you discovered that your last partner couldn't make a commitment to you, you may have lingered in the relationship longer, hoping, wishing, thinking something was wrong with you, trying to make that person feel something he or she didn't feel. But you were older, you knew better, and you knew you deserved better. A few years back you may have been too frightened to step out and start your own business, but after 20 years of making lots of money for someone else you know you have what it takes to make money under your own logo. A decade ago you would not have picked up a book on spiritual readiness. But today you can't read enough about reinventing yourself. Some of the worst mistakes I've made in the past were those that were the result of my trying to force things to happen that weren't ready to take place.

Only when you're at that critical juncture, when all systems within are at alert, are you likely to embrace the teacher who comes along to introduce you to new ways of thinking and seeing the world. "When the teacher is ready, the student will come" is the way Eastern mystics describe this intersection of inner readiness and divine opportunity.

Is it possible to miss opportunities that come our way? Of course it is. But it's also possible that the reason we miss them is because we're not ready within. Some opportunities come around once in a lifetime, but God repeatedly holds off to us the chance to start over, begin anew, go to the next level. God is not like us. God gives us repeated chances to get it right. "Behold I stand at the door and knock," says the Holy One. Aren't you glad that God knocks repeatedly.

What opportunities have you had in life whose timing was just right? Which ones came along at the wrong time? Think back on an experience in which you tried to help things along, force it to take place, and the timing was all wrong.

--Renita Weems

Are there moments when you've wished you could go back to the woman or man you were 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago? I have. I think often about the woman I was in my 20's and 30's.

Mind you, I don't miss being twentysomething and thirtysomething. Reliving those years does not interest me. Spare me all that drama; Being fiftysomething suits me just fine. I like the woman I've become. But I do wish sometimes that I could go back and bless myself with the love and confidence I desperately longed for back then. I was wracked with self-destructive behavior in my 20's and self-doubt in my 30's. And there were lots of reasons for this. But if I'd known then what I know now, I could have spared myself some of the recriminations I heaped on myself. I wouldn't have been so hard on myself. I could have been kinder, more forgiving to myself and sought the help that I needed so desperately.

Sometimes it's good to sit down and write a letter to your younger self. Tell your younger self what you wish you'd known then but didn't.

Bless your younger self today with the words of wisdom and comfort you needed desperately to hear and know back then. Write and assure your younger self that while it appears that it wouldn't at the time, things did work themselves out for your greater good.

--Renita Weems

The journey to discovering your inner wisdom and finding out who you truly are frequently involves being willing to take an outward journey as well. The inner journey requires you to sojourn through the impalpable terrain of feelings, memories, dreams, values and beliefs. The outward journey may take you to actual places, places of origin, birth and ancestry. Don't be surprised then if all this talk about inner journey causes you to wonder about your roots and sends you off to discover more about your parents and relatives. Wanting to explore the influence of our parents and the folks who contributed to making us is a natural part of claiming the wisdom that is ours.

Now that our parents are dead, my siblings and I spend a lot of time at holidays remembering their lives through the stories we tell. We laugh and fight back tears, and we remember. My favorite stories are about my mother teaching me at four how to read while she cooked dinner every night after working all day. Remembering the stories of our ancestors is a great way for discovering the role they play(ed) in shaping our inner journey. Remembering the stories of our ancestors is also a great way of making certain that they remain a part of our inner journey.

What positive gifts in your life come to you directly from your mother? Thank her for each of them, either in person, through a letter, or in an imagined conversation. What positive gifts in your life come to you directly from your father? Thank him for each of them, either in person, through a letter, or in an imagined conversation. In those same conversations, explain to them why for you feel it's time you let go of any negative legacy that you received or carried for her or him.

--Renita Weems

How do you know when God is speaking? It's one of those questions posed to ministers such as myself all the time. People expect us to know the answer. We expect ourselves to know the answer to that question also, but we don't. Not really. We do know the answer perhaps, but not well enough that it makes sense to anyone other than ourselves.

One thing I do know is that listening for God is no ordinary listening. It involves what the writer Maria Harris refers to as "thick listening," the capacity to identify the important, life-giving sounds that signal to us that we'd be wise to sit up and pay attention.

I recall the first time I felt my daughter kicking and stirring inside my womb, around the second trimester of pregnancy. I was in my study at home, typing on my computer. I stopped typing in mid-sentence and lost that thought. I was mystified and petrified, fascinated and horrified, by the sensation of a human knocking around inside me. The sensation of new life stirring in the womb is called quickening. But that morning was not the first time my daughter quickened inside me. She'd been thumping and knocking about inside me for weeks before, since conception I'm told. But I didn't know it. By the time she made her presence felt that morning, around the fifth or sixth month, she'd grown large enough inside to become an undeniable force. It's a similar sort of feeling when you feel twinges of something yet unnamed knocking about within you, evolving and stretching into being, causing you to feel restless. Voices within you have been knocking about for sometime trying to get your attention. It's just taken some time for you to notice. And now that you have noticed, listen carefully. It may just be the divine reaching out to you saying: sit up and pay attention.

Describe experiences in your life when you've felt "this just has to be God."

--Renita Weems