A Twist on 'Oy Vey!'
Q: Have you heard the new Jews for Jesus prayer?
A: Oy vey, Maria!
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Wednesday May 7, 2008
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Joke of the Day for May 7, 2008
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Add to StumbleUponFriday March 28, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, March 28, 2008
Bible's Financial Wizard
Q. Who was the Bible's first financial wizard?
A. Noah. He floated his stock when the rest of the world was in liquidation.
Thursday March 27, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Thursday, March 27, 2008
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
"Life isn’t too short. It’s the longest thing anyone will ever do."
Wednesday March 12, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Wednesday, March 12, 2008
A Hindu devotee asked God, represented by the multi-armed Lord Narayana, this question. "My dear Lord," he said. "I understand that you have innumerable inconceivable potencies. But out of all of them the energy of light seems to be the most amazing. Light pervades the spiritual world, it illuminates the material universes, and life is impossible without it." He continued, "I would like to know how you make it work."
"Oh, that's easy," was the reply. "Many hands make light work."
Tuesday March 11, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Tickle Nhat Hahn: Have you met my pet snake "Karma"?
Swami Mahahaharaj: Why would you name a snake "Karma"?
Tickle Nhat Hahn: Because he used to be a lawyer.
Saturday March 8, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, March 10, 2008
Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!...
Friday March 7, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, March 7, 2008
God was tired and worn out. So he spoke to St. Peter. "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?" St. Peter, thinking, nodded his head, then said, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm...
Thursday March 6, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Thursday, March 6, 2008
The young couple invited their aged pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the...
Wednesday March 5, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, March 5, 2008
A Sunday school teacher asked her second graders if anyone knew another name for God. She was picturing answers like 'Lord' or 'Almighty'. After a long moment of silence a little boy raised his hand and said, "Howard." "Howard?" replied...
Tuesday March 4, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Church Bulletin Bloopers: The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours." Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High." Don't let worry kill you, let the church...
Monday March 3, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Monday, March 3, 2008
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: Thank God I'm an Atheist!...
Sunday March 2, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Sunday, March 2, 2008
Q: What do you get when you cross a Scottish sheep with a Peruvian Mountain Goat? A: The Dolly Llama....
Saturday March 1, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Saturday, March 1, 2008
An elderly pastor was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing three eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife into the closet...
Friday February 29, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Friday, February 29, 2008
Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath into a very deep sleep....
Thursday February 28, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Thursday, February 28, 2008
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." Another man arrives...
Wednesday February 27, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Wednesday, February 27, 2008
A priest came to a dying author to read him his last rites. "Do you reject the devil?" asked the priest. "This is no time to be making enemies," replied the author....
Tuesday February 26, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, February 26, 2008
A pastor who was badly overworked went to the local medical center and was able to have a clone made. The clone was like the pastor in every respect--except that the clone used extraordinarily foul language. The cloned pastor was...
Monday February 25, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, February 25, 2008
A Buddhist and a Hindu went skydiving together. As they prepared to jump, the Buddhist said, "If anything should go wrong--" "Nothing will go wrong," said the Hindu. "But if it does, God will save me." "Not a chance," the...
Sunday February 24, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Sunday, February 24, 2008
A young lady came home from a date looking rather sad. She told her mother, "Arthur proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he was an atheist....
Saturday February 23, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Saturday, February 23, 2008
Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned at Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt....
Friday February 22, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, February 22, 2008
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I...
Thursday February 21, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Thursday, February 21, 2008
"I'm just a poor preacher." "I know. I've heard your sermons."...
Wednesday February 20, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Wednesday, February 20, 2008
On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: Let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out....
Tuesday February 19, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Tuesday, February 19, 2008
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was, "Don't." "Don't what?" Adam asked. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said. "Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve! We...
Monday February 18, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Monday, February 18, 2008
A heavy snowstorm closed the schools in one town. When the children returned to school a few days later, one grade school teacher asked her students whether they had used the time away from school constructively. "I sure did, teacher,"...
Sunday February 17, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, February 17, 2008
When Jerry Garcia died, he woke up and found himself on a stage on which a number of instruments were set up. A door offstage opened and in walked Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Brian Jones, John Lennon, Otis Redding and...
Saturday February 16, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, February 16, 2008
Why are there are no Unitarians in Heaven? Because they heard there was a choice between going to Heaven or a discussion group about the existence of Heaven....
Friday February 15, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Friday, February 15, 2008
Why did the Buddhist order a Happy Meal at McDonald's? Because all life is suffering....
Thursday February 14, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Thursday, February 14, 2008
A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way (being the donkey of a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go, is to...
Wednesday February 13, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, February 12, 2008
"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out." "What's that, Joey?" asked Goldblatt. "Well, according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?" "Right." "And the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines,...
Wednesday February 13, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Wednesday, February 13, 2008
An angel went to see St. Peter. "All I do," the angel said, "is play the harp endlessly, and I'm getting bored." St. Peter asked, "What would you rather do?" The angel answered, "I like to dance." "We don't allow...
Monday February 11, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, February 11, 2008
Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, "Take only one, God is watching." At the other end...
Sunday February 10, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Sunday, February 10, 2008
Q: Why didn't Cain please God? A: Because he just wasn't Able....
Saturday February 9, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Saturday, February 9, 2008
Q: Why was Adam a famous runner? A: Because he was first in the human race....
Friday February 8, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Friday, February 8, 2008
A young couple were driving down the road one day, happily, deliriously in love and due to be married the next day. Suddenly, a large truck swerved from the oncoming lanes into their car! BOOM! And they both died. At...
Thursday February 7, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Thursday, February 7, 2008
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "You pray while the...
Wednesday February 6, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Wednesday, February 6, 2008
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her...
Tuesday February 5, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Tuesday, February 5, 2008
God: "Whew, I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on earth." Angel: "Oh yeah? What are you going to do now?" God: "I think I'll call it a day."...
Monday February 4, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, February 4, 2008
A 4-year-old boy was asked to pray before Thanksgiving dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking the Lord for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked the Lord for...
Sunday February 3, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Sunday, February 3, 2008
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep...
Friday February 1, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Friday, February 1, 2008
A minister's young son sat on the floor of his father's office watching him write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" the boy asked. "Why, God tells me." his father replied. "Well, then why do you keep...
Friday February 1, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, February 2, 2008
Q: How do babies get their belly buttons? A: When God finishes making little babies, He lines them all up in a row. Then he walks along in front of them. He pokes each one in the tummy with His...
Thursday January 31, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Thursday, January 31, 2008
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: "Born OK the first time"...
Wednesday January 30, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Wednesday, January 30, 2008
A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!" "It will pass," the teacher said matter-of-factly. A week later, the...
Tuesday January 29, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The Gallaghers, a couple from Minneapolis, decided to go to Florida during the icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Both husband and wife had hectic schedules and it...
Monday January 28, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, January 28, 2008
Signs You're the Reincarnation of Someone Famous... -During a thunderstorm, you build a giant boat and start stealing your neighbor's pets. -When the boss criticizes your work, you hack off your right ear and mail it to him. -Not only...
Sunday January 27, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Sunday, January 27, 2008
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: Witches' parking only. All others will be toad....
Saturday January 26, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Saturday, January 26, 2008
A zealous Christian who was trying to convert a Hindu found himself getting nowhere. "The thing is," argued the frustrated Christian, "you have to be born again!" "But I have been born again!" insisted the Hindu. "And again and again...
Friday January 25, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Friday, January 25, 2008
An aspiring Yogi wanted to find a Guru. He went to an Ashram and his preceptor told him, "You can stay here but we have one important rule: all students observe Mouna or a vow of silence. You will be...
Thursday January 24, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Thursday, January 24, 2008
Q: Why do Pagan girls make the best wives? A: Because they will worship the ground you walk on....
Wednesday January 23, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Five Jewish men influenced the history of Western civilization. Moses said the law is everything. Jesus said love is everything. Marx said capital is everything. Freud said sex is everything. Einstein said everything is relative....
Tuesday January 22, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, January 22, 2008
And Moses looked upon the Lord and said: "We are your chosen people and you want us to cut the tips off of our WHAT?"...
Monday January 21, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Monday, January 21, 2008
Christian Pick-up Lines God told me to come talk to you. Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me. You know they say that you have never really dated until you have dated a Christian....
Sunday January 20, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Sunday, January 20, 2008
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to...
Saturday January 19, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Saturday, January 19, 2008
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: Jesus: Don't Leave Earth Without Him...
Friday January 18, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Friday, January 18, 2008
A recent survey has compiled all the qualities that people expect from the perfect pastor: Results of a computerized survey indicated that the perfect pastor preaches exactly 12 minutes. He frequently condemns sin but never upsets anyone. He works from...
Thursday January 17, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Thursday, January 17, 2008
A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the fears and temptations his future congregations faced if he first took a job as a policeman for several months. He passed the physical examination; then...
Wednesday January 16, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, January 16, 2008
A small boy stunned his parents after Sunday School when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters. Finally his mother asked the obvious question, "Where did you get all that money?" "At church," the boy replied...
Tuesday January 15, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him. Remembering...
Monday January 14, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Monday, January 14, 2008
One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going." "Why not?" she asked."I'll give you two good reasons," he said....
Sunday January 13, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, January 13, 2008
Q. When was the first meat mentioned in the Bible? A. When Noah took Ham into the ark....
Friday January 11, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, January 11, 2008
Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise" Lazarus: "The Second Time Around" Esther: "I Feel Pretty" Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Moses: "The Wanderer" Jezebel: "The Lady is a Tramp"...
Friday January 11, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, January 12, 2008
Q. Why should we be encouraged by the story of Jonah and the whale? A. Because Jonah was down in the mouth, but came out all right....
Thursday January 10, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Thursday, January 10, 2008
At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of silence. This vow could only be broken once a year on Christmas, by one monk, and the monk could speak only one sentence. One Christmas,...
Wednesday January 9, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Jesus was in the town square as a mob was bringing in an adultress to be stoned. When he realized what was about to happen, he called out in his Son of God voice, "LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN...
Tuesday January 8, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Paddy goes to confession and says to the priest, "Bless me father, for I have sinned. It's been three weeks since my last confession, and in that time I have committed the sin of adultery." The priest says, "Was it...
Monday January 7, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, January 7, 2008
Three pastors were having lunch in a diner. One said "You know, ever since summer started, I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away!" Another...
Monday January 7, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, January 7, 2008
Three pastors were having lunch in a diner. One said "You know, ever since summer started, I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away!" Another...
Monday January 7, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, January 7, 2008
Three pastors were having lunch in a diner. One said "You know, ever since summer started, I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away!" Another...
Monday January 7, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, January 7, 2008
Three pastors were having lunch in a diner. One said "You know, ever since summer started, I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away!" Another...
Sunday January 6, 2008
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Joke of the Day for Sunday, January 6, 2008
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: I don't care WHO you are. You're not walking on the water while I'm fishing....
Sunday January 6, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, January 6, 2008
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: I don't care WHO you are. You're not walking on the water while I'm fishing....
Saturday January 5, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, January 5, 2007
There once was a 94-year-old nun in the 1890's whose worn-out body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax her. However, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she...
Friday January 4, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, January 4, 2008
A truck driver was driving down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. He stopped to pick up the priest and give him a ride. A ways down the road the driver saw a...
Thursday January 3, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Thursday, January 3, 2008
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better computer programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and...
Wednesday January 2, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, January 2, 2008
There was a religious woman who had to do a lot of traveling for her business. Flying made her very nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her. One time, she was sitting next to a man. When...
Tuesday January 1, 2008
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, January 1, 2008
God created the mule, and told him, "You are mule. You will work constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years." The mule answered,...
Monday December 31, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, December 31, 2007
A crumbling old church building needed remodeling, so, during his sermon, the preacher made an impassioned appeal looking directly at the richest man in town. At the end of the sermon, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I...
Sunday December 30, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, December 30, 2007
Jesus was walking along one day, when he came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made his now-famous statement, "Let the person...
Saturday December 29, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, December 29, 2007
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: CAUTION: Non-exposure to the Son will cause burning!...
Friday December 28, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, December 28, 2007
Pat is not feeling very well and he decides to go to a doctor. While he is waiting in the doctor's reception room, a nun comes out of the doctor's office. She looks very ashen, drawn and haggard. Pat goes...
Thursday December 27, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Thursday, December 27, 2007
A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates he was asked by the gatekeeper, "Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?" "Yes," the professor answered. "When I was a young candidate at...
Wednesday December 26, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, December 26, 2007
It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. Pastor Mike was looking at the nativity scene outside when he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from the figures. Immediately, Pastor Mike turned towards the church to...
Tuesday December 25, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something related to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pockets and...
Monday December 24, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, December 24, 2007
Why is getting Christmas presents for your kids just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit....
Sunday December 23, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, December 23, 2007
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: Give Satan an inch and he'll be a ruler....
Saturday December 22, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, December 22, 2007
A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. "A priest! Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps. A policeman...
Friday December 21, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, December 21, 2007
A drunken man staggered in to a Catholic church and sat down in a confession box, saying nothing. The bewildered priest coughed to attract his attention, but still the man said nothing. The priest then knocked on the wall three...
Thursday December 20, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Thursday, December 20, 2007
A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy," she said, "can we leave now?" "No," her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" exclaimed the girl. "Then go out the...
Wednesday December 19, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Two nuns are out driving when a vampire drops onto the bonnet of their car. "Quick sister," screams one nun, "Show him your cross!" So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, "Hey! You! Buzz off!"...
Tuesday December 18, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, December 18, 2007
One day Jesus was out for a walk, strolling near the walls surrounding heaven, when he heard an old man's voice call from the other side. "Hello? Hello?" Jesus replied, "Who is it?" "Just a poor, old carpenter searching for...
Monday December 17, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, December 17, 2007
Favorite Church Signs: "Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!" "Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church." "Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case." "Life has many choices. Eternity has two. What's yours?"...
Sunday December 16, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, December 16, 2007
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have...
Saturday December 15, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, December 15, 2007
Preacher: "How come I never see you in church anymore, Morris?" Morris: "There are too many hypocrites there, Reverend." Preacher: "Don't worry, Morris; there's always room for one more."...
Friday December 14, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, December 14, 2007
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get...
Wednesday December 12, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, December 12, 2007
One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach. The cowboy said, "I'm...
Tuesday December 11, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, December 11, 2007
There's a man named Ralph that goes into a bar, looking very depressed. A friend approaches him and asks, "Why the long face, Ralph?" "Oh, I'm just bored. I know every person in the entire world now, and there's just...
Monday December 10, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, December 10, 2007
Q: Why do monks always wear brown? A: It's just their habit....
Sunday December 9, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, December 9, 2007
Bloopers from Sunday School students: The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him. Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule,...
Saturday December 8, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, December 8, 2007
A church choir was putting on a car wash to raise money for a special trip to Bethlehem. They made a large sign that read: CAR WASH FOR CHOIR TRIP. On the scheduled Saturday, business was very good. But, by...
Friday December 7, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, December 7, 2007
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: Jesus saves; Buddha recycles....
Thursday December 6, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Thursday, December 6, 2007
A Unitarian Universalist dies, and on the way to the afterlife encounters a sign with two options: "to heaven" or "to a discussion of heaven." The UU heads right to the discussion of heaven....
Wednesday December 5, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, December 5, 2007
The Pope lands at an airport just in time to get to an important meeting. His limo driver speedily takes off, but the Pope needs him to go faster in order to get to his meeting on time. The Pope...
Tuesday December 4, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, December 4, 2007
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: "A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing."...
Monday December 3, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, December 3, 2007
This guy was climbing a tree when suddenly he slipped. He grabbed at a branch and was hanging in mid air. After an hour, he felt himself getting exhausted and looked up to the heavens and cried out: "God, help...
Sunday December 2, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, December 2, 2007
Some friends were on vacation in Maine, and while watching fireworks heard their small son say, "Oh, God!" The father quickly cautioned his son, "Please don't speak the Lord's name in vain." The boy nodded but obviously misheard, because he...
Saturday December 1, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, December 1, 2007
Who is the best Zen teacher? M.T. Ness...
Friday November 30, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, November 30, 2007
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to 'Where do pets come from?' Adam said, 'Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do not see you...
Thursday November 29, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Thursday, November 29, 2007
It was almost time for school to dismiss and a mother noticed it looked like rain. So she drove toward school to pick up her eight-year-old daughter. She turned down the street to see her daughter running toward her down...
Wednesday November 28, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, November 28, 2007
One day, Joe, Bob and Dave were hiking in a wilderness area when they came upon a large, raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so. Joe prayed...
Tuesday November 27, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Q: What do you call a non-churchgoer? A: A Seventh-Day Absentist...
Monday November 26, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, November 26, 2007
After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've...
Sunday November 25, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, November 25, 2007
A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy. "Nothing easier," Twain replied....
Saturday November 24, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, November 24, 2007
Q: What was the secret of Delilah getting into Samson’s house? A: She picked his locks....
Friday November 23, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, November 23, 2007
Q. What did the cannibal say when he came upon a sleeping missionary. A. "Ah! Breakfast in bed."...
Thursday November 22, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Thursday, November 22, 2007
All the grandkids were visiting for Thanksgiving. Before dinner, Grandma made a lengthy speech about being thankful for her extra-special blessings, her four grandchildren. Two seconds after she stopped speaking, all hell broke loose and the kids were yelling and...
Wednesday November 21, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Thanksgiving day was approaching and the family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on their way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing: "The Pilgrim children liked to go to...
Tuesday November 20, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, November 20, 2007
A rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car broke down. They set out to find help and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained...
Monday November 19, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, November 19, 2007
There is a story about a monastery perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several...
Sunday November 18, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, November 18, 2007
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: God give me patience....And make it quick!...
Saturday November 17, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, November 17, 2007
On the outskirts of town, there was a big old pecan tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts....
Friday November 16, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, November 16, 2007
About a century or two ago, the Pope challenged the Jewish community of Rome to a debate. The Jews looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer. It was too risky. So...
Thursday November 15, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Thursday, November 15, 2007
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked....
Wednesday November 14, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, November 14, 2007
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."...
Tuesday November 13, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, November 13, 2007
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long...
Monday November 12, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, November 12, 2007
A Yogi Goes to the Dentist Did you hear about the Hindu yogi who was having a filling put in a tooth? When the dentist asked him if he wanted novocaine, the yogi said, "No. I can transcend dental medication."...
Sunday November 11, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, November 11, 2007
Sarah's grandson is playing in the water, while she is standing on the beach not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly over the spot where the...
Saturday November 10, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, November 10, 2007
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: "God is dead." -Neitzche "Neitzche is dead." -God...
Friday November 9, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, November 9, 2007
Jack was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. The preacher grabbed Jack by the hand and pulled him aside. The pastor...
Wednesday November 7, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, November 7, 2007
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and...
Tuesday November 6, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, November 6, 2007
A letter written in a childish scrawl came to the post office addressed to "God". A postal employee, not knowing exactly what to do with the letter, opened it and read: "Dear God, my name is Jimmy. I am 6...
Monday November 5, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, November 5, 2007
A plane hit a patch of severe turbulence and the passengers were holding on tight as it rocked and reeled through the night. A little old lady turned to a minister who was sitting behind her and said, "You're a...
Sunday November 4, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, November 4, 2007
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"...
Saturday November 3, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, November 3, 2007
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? A. "Your mother ate us out of house and home."...
Friday November 2, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, November 2, 2007
"Is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another?" a parishioner asked his minister. "Definitely not," was the preacher's answer. "Are you absolutely certain?" "Yes, my son, absolutely." "Okay. In that case, I wonder if you'd...
Thursday November 1, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Thursday, November 1, 2007
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought...
Wednesday October 31, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, October 31, 2007
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts...
Tuesday October 30, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, October 30, 2007
A couple had two little boys who were always getting into trouble. Their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their village, their sons were probably involved. The boys' mother heard that an elder in town had been successful...
Monday October 29, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, October 29, 2007
A young lady came home from a date looking rather sad. She told her mother, "Arthur proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he was an atheist....
Sunday October 28, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, October 28, 2007
Q: Have you heard the latest UU miracle? A: Someone saw the face of Ralph Waldo Emerson on a tortilla....
Saturday October 27, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, October 27, 2007
Q: Why do pagan girls make the best wives? A: Because they will worship the ground you walk on....
Friday October 26, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, October 26, 2007
Wandering dejectedly in The Garden of Eden, Eve told God, "I'm lonely I'm tired of eating apples by myself." "Okay," God said, "I'll create a man for you." Eve said, "A man! What's that?" "He's a creature with aggressive tendencies...
Thursday October 25, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Thursday, October 25, 2007
Sherlock Holmes stood at the Gates of Heaven pulling at his pipe awaiting his turn. "I'll let you in," said St. Peter, gesturing toward the heavenly throngs behind him, "if you'll tell me who among these was the first mortal."...
Wednesday October 24, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, October 24, 2007
A Buddhist approaches a hotdog vendor and says: "Make me one with everything." He gives the vendor a $20 bill and waits. Finally he says: "Where's my change?" Says the vendor: "All change must come from within."...
Tuesday October 23, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Q: Why did it take the Buddha forever to vacuum his sofa? A: Because he didn't have any attachments....
Monday October 22, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Monday, October 22, 2007
A faith healer asked Moshe how his family was getting along. "They're all fine," Moshe said, "Except my uncle. He's very sick." "Your uncle is not sick," the faith healer said. "He THINKS he's sick." Two weeks later, the faith...
Sunday October 21, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Sunday, October 21, 2007
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: What part of 'Thou Shalt Not...' didn't you understand? --God...
Saturday October 20, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Saturday, October 20, 2007
The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. She went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came...
Friday October 19, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Friday, October 19, 2007
A well-worn one dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation. The twenty dollar bill...
Thursday October 18, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Thursday, October 18, 2007
Where Was Jesus Born? A lifelong unchurched man suddenly develops a vague religious urge and decides to join a church--any church. So he sets out to find one. His first stop is a Roman Catholic church where he asks what...
Wednesday October 17, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day, Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, October 17, 2007
The Bored Man There's a man named Ralph that goes into a bar, looking very depressed. A friend approaches him and asks, "Why the long face, Ralph?" "Oh, I'm just bored. I know every person in the entire world now,...
Wednesday October 17, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day, Joke of the Day
Joke of the Day for Wednesday, October 17, 2007
The Bored Man There's a man named Ralph that goes into a bar, looking very depressed. A friend approaches him and asks, "Why the long face, Ralph?" "Oh, I'm just bored. I know every person in the entire world now,...
Tuesday October 16, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
My First Confession
A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and to give a...
Monday October 15, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
A Golfer's Deal with the Devil
A golfer was having a tough day and in his frustration he blurted out, "I would give anything for a birdie on this hole." A nearby stranger walked out of the woods beside the hole and whispered, "If you give...
Sunday October 14, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
The Pope's Surprise
Many years ago, a beloved Pope died and went to heaven. Saint Peter greeted him in a firm embrace. "Welcome your holiness, your dedication and unselfishness in serving your fellow man during your life has earned you great stature in...
Saturday October 13, 2007
Categories: Joke of the Day
The End Is Near
A local priest and a pastor were fishing on the side of the road. They thoughtfully made a sign saying, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" and showed it to each passing car. One...
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