Joke of the Day: March 2008 Archives

Bible's Financial Wizard

Q. Who was the Bible's first financial wizard?

A. Noah. He floated his stock when the rest of the world was in liquidation.

A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:

"Life isn’t too short. It’s the longest thing anyone will ever do."

A Hindu devotee asked God, represented by the multi-armed Lord Narayana, this question. "My dear Lord," he said. "I understand that you have innumerable inconceivable potencies. But out of all of them the energy of light seems to be the most amazing. Light pervades the spiritual world, it illuminates the material universes, and life is impossible without it." He continued, "I would like to know how you make it work."

"Oh, that's easy," was the reply. "Many hands make light work."

Tickle Nhat Hahn: Have you met my pet snake "Karma"?

Swami Mahahaharaj: Why would you name a snake "Karma"?

Tickle Nhat Hahn: Because he used to be a lawyer.

Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work?

A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!

God was tired and worn out. So he spoke to St. Peter. "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?" St. Peter, thinking, nodded his head, then said, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm...

The young couple invited their aged pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the...

A Sunday school teacher asked her second graders if anyone knew another name for God. She was picturing answers like 'Lord' or 'Almighty'. After a long moment of silence a little boy raised his hand and said, "Howard." "Howard?" replied...

Church Bulletin Bloopers: The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours." Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High." Don't let worry kill you, let the church...

A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker: Thank God I'm an Atheist!...

Q: What do you get when you cross a Scottish sheep with a Peruvian Mountain Goat? A: The Dolly Llama....

An elderly pastor was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing three eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife into the closet...