We don't have much time

Neale,

You wrote the book “Home with God”; you know that both men are not gone. Neither of them died, they are in another reality that they have created.

I thought by now you of all people have let go of the old way of thinking about death. There is no death, stop teaching the old ways of thinking.

You also know that these two men like countless others chose to transition as part of their experience. Nothing just happened too them.

Blessings

Blake Hayner

It can be confusing when in your seminars you say "there is no such thing as time" and then in your blog you say "we don't have much time". I still love you, though Neale. I laughed out loud at "I don't care how healthy you are, you could get hit by a bus."

Phillip Washington

Saturday, June 21, 2008
Death, Forgiveness, Mother, Neale Donald Walsch, Heart, Love
After reading Neale's message from his site, I had to write to him and anyone who was drawn to read my blog -- it feels very cathartic.

To my precious Neale et al everyONE. This is the first message I've read this new morning after going to bed hearing that my mother is dying, probably quite soon. I had initally heard two weeks ago and have been thinking, "How can I get ahold of Neale...how can I ask him for ten-minutes of his time?"
And, as I needed his love and ONEness when he came to Victoria, BC for 5-days, so he came again this morning.
You see "et al," I have been "out" of my family for years. In fact, it is Neale's being a vessel of God's love that was the first time ever I came out of fear of life, of death, of being an abomination to God, of hell, of disownment, and on and on.
I'm not promoting but "my story" that I need to lay down is written in my book, Circles in the Sand. I gave Neale's partner a copy so my book is hopefully/perhaps laying around his home somewhere. I had hoped he would see past the backstory and see the spiritual journey I was laying as a foundation to grow into helping others... I know that story ended with a beginning...

I have to forgive my mother.

I've realized that I have seen my parents literally a handfull of times in 20-years. I was told by my inner voice to go to their apartment to forgive them and I did--meaning I had no script, no preparation, so no-ONE was ONE-up on the other. That was ten-years ago. My father died two-months later. My mother blamed me for his "love," and here we are...

I have to forgive my mother.

The last contact with my mother was when she sent a letter with pictures of two young women; one a bride and the other a bridesmaid... as I read the letter, life went into slow motion. One of those girls was my birthdaughter whom I was forced to surrender. My mother found her without my permission or knowing; in fact, some of my siblings helped her. My mother did not tell me which one was she; and actually met her. Upon meeting her, my birthdaughter asked about me; asked why there were no pictures; and my mother simply replied before moving on, "We don't approve of her lifestyle." And hence, I have turned and left my family, after a lifetime of sorrow--that was too much. In fact, I had already had one heart surgery and here I was after a few years of this news, needing to have a second heart surgery... all before the age of 50!
So, you can see why I have been consuming books like Happier Than God and others...desperately trying to understand how to forgive; how to write, knowing that I cannot talk to my mother.

I have to forgive my mother.

I too, even though I'm Canadian, felt Tim's family's loss but my sadness came from a father who beamed and radiated love and when I saw him on Larry King, he beamed and radiated love towards his father, his son, and his life. His essence was love.

I have to forgive my mother.

So, to my friend, Neale -- "in the space of the room in Victoria" and forever, I thank you for reminding me and giving me a little push towards writing that letter that I must also live my day in the NOW and get past the hurts of the human experience and step into the love of the spiritual experience.

I am a co-creator of life and so, I believe somehow that your words will further penetrate my heart and soul and give me a free-falling of love as I just begin..just stop thinking and create movement with pen and paper and FOR-god's-sake-GIVE my mother, my family, and my own journey.

I know what it feels like to be aware of the ticking of ONE's heartbeat as I've had two heart surgeries before 50 but together, we can calm our hearts, be still, and love NOW in the safety of love.

I've had palpitations since hearing of my mother's inoperable disease and that somehow, I have to breakthrough my disconnect and re-member for both of us. For my first heart surgery, I shared a room with an elderly Italian lady who had not yet had surgery. What she had were 20+ family visitors at any given moment. I didn't feel great and they ticked me off. Tick, tick, tick -- great starting rhthym for my "new" heart. So, a divide occurred; anger was palpable. Then in the middle of the night, I was awoken to a nurse quietly "yelling" at her, "What's wrong now?" I guess the nurse had been napping or something. The old Italian couldn't speak English and no family was there. Finally the nurse brought her a nitro-pill to put under her tongue to calm her heart...and then abruptly turned off the light and left the room in more darkness than her energy left behind. I felt the old Italian women's fear...
I got myself out of bed, went over to her and just stood beside her, stroking her hair, showing her how to breathe deep -- which wasn't easy -- and I saw her eyes never leave mine. She kept them focussed right into my soul. As tears came down her cheeks, I gently wiped them away, kissed her forehead. She blinked, saying "thank you." As the pill kicked in and I felt her calmness, I kissed her again and went back to bed. The nurse had never ever returned.
Yes, I did just re-live that moment as if it was NOW... it's my moment with my own mother. It's the only way I can give to her what I can't give in real life. Soul-2-Soul, Spirit-2-Spirit. My mother, my family -- none of them even know I had a second heart surgery a couple of years ago... that's the depth of the wounds.

Oh yes -- I have to forgive myself as well. As I ended my book with a chapter called "Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Daughters," I didn't know it would play out like this. I have this very abusive statement I use against myself and I know it's nasty and you would think I'ld say, "STOP IT"??? I could not sustain my birth-daughter's love; she is anorexic, bullemic, and self-mutilates. We got a tatoo together -- a 7-petal lotus with symbols for "Mother/Daughter" or "female goddess." That's what we have... WOW Neale, you just don't realize that YOUR situation spreads to each of us so deeply. I guess we really are interconnected!

I shall find the way/strength/means to BE a much grander version of my petty self as I step into Spirit and see through Her eyes of compassion. We ALL just want to be loved and feel safe and cuddled.

YOU have taught me that when my heart gets the better of me {palpitations, fear...} -- it is through you that I have learned to speak quietly to my own self and say, "I AM safe no matter what happens in this moment...I AM safe and not alone." Thank you Neale. Thank you and may your heart beat to the rhythym of love and life for as long as your journey has chosen to be here, teaching, training, guiding US. I love you Mr. Walsch! I love US...

May you be WELL/ FREE from suffering / HAPPY {Buddha}
Samadhi, www.samadhiwhitehouse.writerswebpages.com /

I only wanted a short, gentle response to those "confused" by Neale; please allow him his humanness to come out. Allow him to have the same emotions/fears/grief that we each walk through during times of stress because we are human. He also has human aspirations and doesn't always have to be speaking esoteric. If Neale says, "I want to live to 90" -- can we all collectively understand he's human and will walk through the valley of the shadow of death and climb to the heights of nirvana and have fear and know all-ways, underneath all... that he also knows he is ONE with NOW and with-in GOD. Let the man "feel."

Hey Neale,

I suspect that no matter what you "know" and what you have written regarding all your conversations with God, that it is not easy to put away all the old tapes written in your head and on your heart in the decades of life before your sort of "enlightenment." Furthermore, I would assume that like the reader, even you, the writer, must have daily doubts about what is REALLY true when it comes to the great Unknown.

I, too, have been pondering death a whole lot recently. I've read "Home With God" and most of your books, but the information eventually fades into the background unless I am constantly reminded or taught the same message but in a newer and more exciting way, I guess. It's like, oh, now I get it (and then forget it) and then, oh . . . NOW I get it (and then forget it again). If that makes sense.

Lately, I get pangs of great fear about dying, or about my husband dying. When I think about Tim Russert--who was such a vibrant, ALIVE, involved, much-loved man, who has touched more lives than most, and from listening to all the eulogies, was so loved that he is remembered practically as a saint--it's unsettling to imagine a great man like that just DISAPPEARED in an instant. Without warning. You know? But at least he could say he had a great life. He WAS LIVING a great life the moment he died, or didn't die . . . .

I hope you believe you have had a great life. I, on the other hand, am the opposite of Tim Russert. I have touched very few lives, or believe that I have, anyway. I don't wake up every morning bright and shiny and excited about the day. I don't have 1/1000th of the energy or optimism of that man. So I wonder, have I wasted my life? If you asked my husband or daughter, the answer would be a resounding "NO." Not so many other people would care, I doubt, but I do my best to give a little smile or words of encouragement to those hardworking, sometimes tired and frustrated-seeming souls I meet along the way in life, even if just for a fleeting moment.

I'm full of regrets for a life not lived, for chances not taken, for mistakes made, and for my physical condition now at age 47. So, I look for something Higher, something not physical, so I can have peace and make it all make sense. I look for a CONNECTION to whatever it is that I can KNOW that will get me through each day and help me understand that it's All Good.

I am particularly blessed by a small companion who helps me stay in the now, in the joy of the moment--our sweet Dachshund, Max. I love every inch of that little weiner dog.

I just know the answers to the meaning life are there, somehow, when I look into his curious eyes or pet his soft, velvety ears. Or respond to his wet nose nudging me to either feed him or take him outside. I marvel at his fierce independence maintained even after a great deal of human training, as he growls at me when he is protecting his blanket or his couch or his chair. But he doesn't speak English and I haven't been able to translate any of his lectures on the meaning of life yet.

Good luck with your tests, Neale.

with Love,
Phyllis

Hi Neale,

What a beautiful poem! Tell M thank you for sharing that with us. I spent most of the evening watching youtube video's of George and laughing my tush off. I love his take on the 10 commandments. He shocked a lot of people with his "bad words" but he had so much good to say within those words to the person who could hear.

Love to you George for your gift of yourself!

Thank you Neale!

Neale, the passing of the latest personalities has made me think of what my passing will leave behind. I need to take care of my health problems; as well as my spiritual questions. I believe in God & there's an afterlife. But my beliefs go further then that. I believe that God has a purpose for us to be here on earth & we're to ask Him for what this purpose is. Like I think my purpose is to help others, but with my health problems it's hard to fulfill this pupose in the way I think I should. He's giving me road blocks to strenghten my spiritual reasoning. I hope I've got awhile to complete my purpose in a way that I'll feel ready to leave this life for my next life. It's upto God on which that will be. I might become an guardian angel, a spirit guide, or even return to earth to guide others to the right road. I'm going to pray for God to help me with my health problems; so I can live my purpose in life; unless He's got a better plan for me. It's upto me to live my life as spiritually as I know how.