I’ll post the first comment….I think Sara E is more consciously aware than she thinks she is…It’s all about thought and thoughtfullness. Acting from that place of awareness: as in Consciously Aware, or Self-Realization. __If you are unconscious, then things just happen “to” you. Ok, in a broader perspective, this election. Just an example – We/us Americans became AWARE that this was not how we wanted our country to BE. We became aware that change was needed. This was a collective decision, and it happened. __I feel that we all can have conscious choices, personally. Once you realize that it is you that brings situations into your life, the chaos of “it’s happening TO you” will change. The awareness helps you to analyze each situation, to move higher in your thoughts to be a better you. __Once that starts, you will realize that you can create all situations for a better and higher purpose for yourself and those connected to you.__Does that make sense?

I agree with Neale’s comments, but would also submit that doing it is difficult sometimes. There are literally people I have to “prepare myself” to be around because their energy can influence mine. Smiles are contagious kind of thinking. Ideally we would follow the steps Neale has mentioned here. I’m just saying with certain people, it’s easier said than done.
When are you coming to the East Coast, Neale? I love Oregon but it’s a 5-hour flight.
Elaine
(NOTE FROM NEALE: Gosh, Elaine, remember the days when a “five hour flight” from one coast to the other felt like a miracle? Golly, a 5-hr flight means you leave at 9 a.m. and you’re here by 2 in the afternoon!!! Wow!! You read a magazine, watch a movie on your laptop, and you’re here. Now that’s not such a horrible experience, is it? If I had serious questions or spiritual matters I wanted to explore, and I got up one morning and realized I could be sitting in front of a person who I really would like to talk with by 2 that afternoon, I certainly wouldn’t consider that an outlandish request of my body. I mean, I think my body could take that… ;o) yes? ha! maybe I’m just a little more curious than you are! A half-day of sitting around reading would never stop me from placing myself in front of somebody I really wanted to deeply explore some things with…

Well thank you Neale and Cynthia.
I want to share that one of the biggest, most relieving moments in my life was when I realized that there is a huge difference between feeling compassion and joining others in their suffering. This understanding changed my ENTIRE experience of people in general. I figured out how to Love from a place of real Authenticity, rather than validating and pleasing from a place of resistance.
Ever since I was a child, I’ve felt that joining others in their upsets was not the answer in terms of how to truly be there for them. That approach never felt good or appropriate to me. Over the last few years what I’ve come to find is that my clearest understandings have come from re-learning the things I knew as a child, but chose to forget along the way. (Which is, as CWG says, why remembering is so cool.)
The most miserable years of my life (my teenage years) were the ones when I bought into the ideas that dedication and hard work was more important than play and following my heart, that being polite was more important than being genuine, and that other people’s desires and ideas were somehow better and more important than my own.
I specifically remember being 9 and my teacher was doing a whole lesson about being perfect. I remember being so excited because I swore I knew what the whole point of the lesson was, so I puffed up in self-assurance, raised my hand and said, “I know the answer! Everyone is perfect, in their own special way!” I was so sure I was on the right track and was stunned to hear how incredibly wrong I was. LOL!!
I’m so grateful and happy – for and because of all of it. ALL of it really does exist to lift us up. How Blessed!!

And another thing, lol. What I notice is that when I am my most loving self; when I have the courage and the clarity to Be Who I Really Am without reservations, all people and situations that aren’t in line with that simply go away without effort. So it’s like, the more I am Being Who I Am, the less I really have to worry about finding myself in situations or places where the energy “isn’t right.” I’ve found that it really is as easy as just letting it go of whatever resistance is present in me. When I choose that, Life just follows as such.

Ahhh Sympathy, the one issue that has a huge effect on the path of a spiritual seeker. I too notice with every passing day how much I allow myself to give, give and give. Yet this is all very unhelpful to myself and others because often the reciepents of ‘my’ energy actually don’t want to help themselves, they just want me to pull them out of misery with a quick fix or a wave of a magic wand! Of course, I have witnessed within myself the very same non-integrous energy.
Sympathy will halt progress and create disillusionment and muddy the road ahead. It’s a distraction from your real work that belies arrogance, denying the right of people to live with their karmic inheritances. Only God can save people.
It’s that old chestnut. You cannot push a boat up and out of the water, instead you must raise the level of water itself. Replace boat for people and water for consciousness and it is clear to see that we can only work on one’s own awareness and by doing so we give the world a great gift. The gift of a person changed.
A wise man once illustrated to me the importance of empathy as opposed to sympathy;
If a person is sick at sea, the way of sympathy dictates you must join them at the railings vomiting too. If everybody did this due to Sympathy, including the Captain, who would be left controlling the vessel?
No, instead the way of real respect for life including first and foremost your own is that of Empathy. This dictates that in this situation it would be more beneficial to fetch water, a towel and a bucket. You understand what it is like to be ill but you do not attempt like Neale said to ‘contribute’ your own energy by mirroring or self sacrifice. This way, we all get to serve one another by sticking to the path (keeping the Captain)and honoring the karma of all.

This was an excellent explanation of energy and how it effects all things around us. I originally stopped on this blog because you mentioned the term energy vampires. That is actually the first chapter in the book that I authored. We are speaking of two different types of energy however. Have a peak over at my web site to find out a bit more about my energy Energy Expert
Have a great day
Matthew Shields | Energy Expert

How often have you heard a massage therapist or bodyworker say that they feel drained after a session, or that they’ve taken on the client’s “bad energy”?
It’s easy to see why. When you draw solely on your own reservoir of love while engaging others, you run the risk of exhausting your resources and feeling washed-out and spent.
The solution? Resolve to be a vessel, a channel, an instrument of God’s pure, inexhaustible love. Then, instead of depleting your own limited reserves, you will be serving as a conduit for the deep love of God, which will heal and energize you as well—in body, mind, and spirit.
How do you do that? Get your ego, your “self,” out of the way. Try this exercise: Close your eyes and imagine that you are floating near the ceiling, dispassionately looking down on your physical body.
When you can separate your identity from your body like this, when you can serve as a conscious witness to your own life, you will be able to step aside, metaphysically speaking, and let the deep love of God flow through your body as if it were a radio tuned to divine frequency.
After all, human love is limited, divine love is limitless. Tap into your Source energy and you wil feel exhilarated instead of exhausted!
Phil Bolsta
Author of “Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything” (www.sixtysecondsbook.com)

I feel that the value of an open and ready ear is beyond any price. I have been heard before in a way that healed me, from a mere 5 minute conversation. After reading this blog entry, I see that it is necessary to stay above the fray so that you don’t waste energy and also so that you are able to hear the person out. I feel that the problem with the idea of “Energy Vampires” is that it makes out a certain type of person to be a boogie man that needs to be avoided when really they may be the people who need the most assistance. I like Neale’s focus on our responsibility not to waste our energy and to hear out those in need as he has in his retreats. I hope to one day be able to listen with such clarity.

What’s really the difference between learning to stand back or protecting oneself? The preferred end result is putting yourself first, and not internalizing anothers’ circumstances. It’s being able to reach out and engage people without harming yourself.
There are psychic vampires. They seek out those who aren’t ‘protecting’ their energy, latch on, to gain support, have a need met, feel strong. Some do it without conscious effort. Others know full well what they’re doing and seek out those they can exploit.
Ash Wills – I agree. Empathy is the wiser way to be there for others. Sympathy will drain you from within.
The higher your energy level, your spiritual aura, however you want to put it, the more likely you will attract those who find it easier to feed off of it rather than develop their own, healthy spirit. The more aware you are, the less likely these folks will stay around – if they have direct contact at all. But when you’re not conscious of what you’re putting out there, the more likely these vamps will come and ‘feed.’

Please read the following statements from Neale contained in the above article: “Are There Energy Vampires?”
“So the answer is to allow yourself to hear whatever it is that others want to share, without adding anything of your own emotional content to it. Stay aloft. Stay adrift of it. Do not attach yourself to it, and you can hear someone else’s “story” over and over again and not get “caught up” in it.
Counselors know how to do this. So do priests and rabbis and ulamas and other members of the clergy who regularly hear stories of woe and calls for attention and help. You can learn how to do this, too. This is not about being aloof. And it certainly is not about being indifferent. It is, in fact, about showing the highest level of love and concern by not adding your own emotional content to someone else’s.
I am called upon to do this all the time in many of the spiritual renewal retreats that I facilitate. When you learn how to do this, you can help many people. All that most people really need is a ear to hear them; a sensitive, caring, compassionate, understanding, and helpful person to listen to their experience and respond/react to it in a way that offers an invitation to move into greater clarity. You can’t provide a pathway to help someone else move toward greater clarity if they have to go through a corridor of your own “stuff” to get there.”
Next read Neale’s response to my post regarding his article: “Sex For Pay in San Francisco” dated October 31, 2008 You will see Neale’s responses interjected after some of my comments.
“9) Neale Walsch is obsessed with this topic of sex and prostitution (NOTE FROM NEALE: I wonder where THAT comes from….hmmmm…) because he himself is sexually frustrated and not getting his sexual needs met. (NOTE FROM NEALE: That is so ridiculous it is laughable.) This is the bottom line. Neale Walsch himself wants to be able to buy sex because he is not happy with his wife or current partner, if he has one for that matter. (NOTE FROM NEALE: I wouldn’t buy sex if you paid me. Ha! That’s actually funny! Sorry to disappointment you, friend, but every word you’ve put here is absurd.) 10.) Neale Walsh claims he is channeling God, The Almighty, All that is. (NOTE FROM NEALE: I do not make this claim. I have never, ever said that I am channeling God.) This is not the truth. Walsch is channeling “Jesus”, the same entity that channeled A Course In Miracles through Helen Schuman. Just knowing that alone should discredit him as an honest and reputable teacher. (NOTE FROM NEALE: Gosh, I am so glad that you know more about my experience than I do. Perhaps I should just call you first before I decide that anything is true for me. Then you can help me by telling me my truth in advance, and save me the trouble of misstating it. Hmmmm…)
11.) Walsch does not have your best interests or mine at heart, only his own. You do not need Neale Walsch to have access to God. (NOTE FROM NEALE: This last sentence is one of the few accurate statements you have made here. I agree with you entirely — and the Conversations with God books make that point repeatedly, you will be sorry to hear….) No human being alive has direct contact with God, the distance is to great.(NOTE FROM NEALE: Well, it’s back to the inaccuracies again. EVERY human being has direct contact with God. And the distance is not too great, because God is with you all the time (“too,” by the way, is spelled with two o’s, not one….ahem….) Only arrogance suggests that another human being has direct contact with God. Jesus maybe, but not God. (NOTE FROM NEALE: Really? Well, then I guess I am arrogant. But God tells me that God speaks to all people, all the time. The problem is not that God is not communicating, but that people are not listening.) “
Notice how Neale even tries to make fun of my grammar and punctuation. Does this sound like a man who has the ability to hear what others have to share without adding his own emotional content to it? (NOTE FROM NEALE: I never said that I don’t add my own emotional content in every day interactions, Wayne. In the entry above I was replying to a person who asked about the energies of others and how not to get “drained” by them. I do not get drained by other people’s energies, and so I add all the emotional content I wish — except in spiritual advisory situations, such as in retreats, etc, when I remove my personal responses from the interaction. Is that a bit more clear?) Neale advises to stay adrift and loft and not get caught up in anothers pain and drama. He talks further about how this adds the highest level or love and concern in regards to the person caught in pain and suffering. In my heart I feel hatred and resentment towards Neale, and I totally own that part of myself. This man does not live by the principles he teaches. (NOTE FROM NEALE: You are correct in stating this, Wayne. I have admitted and acknowledged that in just about every book I have ever written, and everywhere I have ever spoken. So this is nothing new to my audience, Wayne. Only, apparently, to you…) He wants to spread his teachings but woe unto others who dare disagree or attack him. (NOTE FROM NEALE: Wrong, Wayne. You can attack me all you wish. What I will NOT allow you to do, however, is attack me unfairly, or say things about me that are simply and patently untrue. When you do that, you can count on my making a comment.) I want the world to know that Neale is not talking to or channeling God. He is receiving his message from Jesus. (NOTE FROM NEALE: Sorry, my friend. The one thing you do not get to do without a comment from me is try to tell anyone what my experience is. Share about your experience, fine. But if you deign to know my experience, and claim to know what I am experiencing even better than I do, you can expect to get a comment from me. Guaranteed.) In one of Neale’s own books “God” identifies himself as the same entity who channeled A Course In Miracles through Helen Schucman. A Course In Miracles comes from Jesus, not God. (NOTE FROM NEALE: The difficulty here, I now see, is that you experience God and Jesus as two different beings. What was communicated to me in the CWG text is that the Same Source came through in both books. CWG states repeatedly that Divinity can and does take the shape that the person with whom God is communicating is most likely to recognize, accept, and believe.) This man does not have your best interests at heart, only his. (NOTE FROM NEALE: I find it fascinating that you deem yourself capable and able to know what is in another person’s heart. Do you not find this even a little bit arrogant?) Neale claims he has never claimed he is channeling God. I wonder if the title of Neale’s books: “Conversations with God” had any thing to do with me forming my opinion? (NOTE FROM NEALE: I am no more “channeling” God than were any of the writers of spiritual material in the past. I have called what I am doing “inspired writing.” It is not “channeling” by any definition.)

I think the difference between staying aloft and defending your own honor are two different things. Wayne, you were attacking Neale in very leud ways and personal ways. That is nowhere near what today’s post was about. It was about people who latch onto others for energy. (NOTE FROM NEALE: Hey, Cameron, thank you for noticing that this is exactly what was happening. Nice going.) You are simply trying to berate Neale who you very obviously disagree with. In that issue, I think Neale would need to take a different approach. (I don’t know why he pulled grammar checks on you, but my gut feeling is that as long as you’re just playing around with him, he might as well play around with you.) He is defending himself in as respectful manner as someone who accuses him of seeking prostitutes deserves. (NOTE FROM NEALE: Thank you! I felt the same way!) I personally have benefited greatly by just reading his books. They have relieved some great pain that I have been in for some time. Whether it is Jesus or God, I don’t care. These words are holy, they are spoken from the heart and I think that you ought to just leave because we are trying to have a conversation.
Cameron

Dearest Wayne,____I sense so much fear and confusion in your response. Have you read Conversations with God? If you really think he is channeling Jesus, what is wrong with that? If a Course in Miracles was channeled through Jesus, what is wrong with that? I thought Jesus was the “son of God”, I thought he brought love and peace and compassion and understanding. These are the only messages that I can interpret from Conversations with God. I thought Jesus was the only person ever (popular belief?) to actually be able to communicate with God. So if he is the one relaying the message, what is wrong with that? Just because Neale (in your opinion) may have the source confused, is the message still not beautiful and one that could be easily heeded by everyone if they could just open their hearts to understanding? It is one of love and compassion, how can that possibly be so bad and not have our best interests at heart. I have said from the very day I finished CwG that I don’t care who wrote it. It could have been written by a blue and purple polka-dot donkey in a manger in Istanbul and it would not change the power of the message. You may be able to bad mouth and insult the messenger all you want, but you can’t kill the message. WE ARE ALL ONE! Much love to you dear Wayne. I truly know that you will find peace and understanding, it is coming your way every second. Just believe.____”If theres one thing I’ve learned in this life, if you want to scare away the vampires, you simply guide them into the light”__Michael Franti and Spearhead (Album – Yell Fire)__I highly recommend this album to everyone. It is absolutely fabulous in every way.____Neale,__You are fantastic and seem to have an uncanny way of sending me just the message I need, almost every single day. This post came at just the perfect time, it has actually taught me a valuable lesson which I wish to apply to one of the most important relationships in my life right now. Now I feel like I can help her in the same way that she helps me. Thank you for being such a wonderful inspiration, and for being so down to earth and so REAL. Much love to you and ALL of the beautiful spirits that frequent this blog. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE AND MORE LOVE__

This blasted blog…That’s mine above at 5:42. Just for the record, I really am sending you love Wayne. Don’t go…stay, observe, feel, think, love, understand, accept…you probably have something very important to say…just please don’t do it by attacking Neale. This isn’t the ONLY way, it is just another way. Love and Light.
Mountain Mama

I agree that no one can “drain” our energy unless we let them. I have been around people who seems to “drain” me with their negativity, but come to think of it I gave them my energy when I chose to allow myself to get sucked into it. Its all about attitude and choosing to be positive.
I have noticed that people who tend to stick to the negative side of life drift away when I hold positive. Misery loves company, positive energy loves ALOT so I find that when I have a good attitude I actually attract other people who are having a good attitude.

Dear Wayne,
I’m of the mind that every experience God gives us is for our own good. When something makes us angry, there’s a great lesson to be found.
If something bothers you about Neale, or anyone else, why not chalk it up to just being human? You don’t expect perfection of yourself, do you? When you realize you’ve made a mistake, are you angry at yourself or do you laugh it off? If you had known better, you wouldn’t have made the mistake in the first place. It’s the same for all of us. We’re just bumbling along, doing the best we can.
YOU know you’re a smart person. Why care if someone points out a grammatical error. We all make them at some point. I’ve never read anyone who hasn’t! (NOTE FROM NEALE: Whoa…wait a minute, Deb! Let’s not go to far here. I am not aware of never having made a grammatical errors in my life. Anyways, I weren’t gonna comment here at first, but when I read that last remark of yours, I knew that I was suppose to answer it.)
One day all of us will be together, rejoicing with God. Petty ego trips will fade away with our bodies, and all that will matter will be the Love! You deserve to be happy today! Peace!
xo

As far as me leaving “Cameron”, I have the same right to be here regardless of my approach or negativity. I also have the right to feel the way I do. I don’t run from things. My anger and hatred are trying to tell me things. Leaving you alone would make it too easy for you. I appreciate the comments left by Mt. Mama. I have read 3 of the CVG books and I come away angry. I won’t go into those reasons now. None of you especially Neale could care less about me and none of you have even tried to find out why I am angry. I don’t care that the rest of you feel blessed by Neale or his books. I don’t, and I have valid reasons for not feeling blessed. I have know a lot attack and hatred directed towards me over the years and have learned to hate almost everyone. That is all for now.

Wayne, you’re absolutely right. You have the same right to be here just as the rest of us. And no question, it is your free right to feel how you feel. So why have you come here? What’s up on your end? What is it that you really want to say? What is it that you need someone to hear?
I’m interested.

Yes, Wayne, if you feel you have something important to say, just say it, but know that nobody here will accept attacks or mistreats…
I suppose that something near to your experience could have been lived by many here… and they could have found that there is a way to get better…
And by the way, it has not to be a ‘hard’ way… It could be a simple or ‘easy’ -easier- way…
Blessings,
Victor

I’m sorry, but Neale is just a bad a** motha…

Dear Wayne,
What hurt you so much that you feel you need to hurt us?
You have it all wrong by the way. Neale does care about you; we all care about you. We are One.
When you hurt we hurt. I am sorry that you experienced so much pain that it caused you to lash out in hatred of others. I pray that you are able to move through the anger this pain caused and reach a state of forgiveness where you will find inner peace at last.
Creation is a cycle. It can be a vicious cycle or a blissful cycle. It is always our choice. Hatred breeds more hatred as shown by your second to the last sentence. The good news is love breeds more love. You only have to choose at any given moment to act in love instead of fear to get the cycle moving in your favor.
In every moment we are in the act of defining ourselves as Love or Fear. Love is who you truly are and is the choice that will make you feel peace.
Love and Peace,
Michelle

(IN RESPONSE TO SARA E. AT 9:26 pm and anyone else who is interested.)
Thank you Sara for even caring enough to ask, not that it will probably matter in the end. I have attacked Neale because it is myself I truly hate and despise, and the topics Neale writes about I identify deeply with and I have much anger and resentment invested in most of his topics.
1.) I am angry at Neale regarding the prostitution article because I hate women and have not had a girlfriend in over 22 years. Neale and his God teaches that we are all one and loved equally by a loving God, yet it appears that Neale is condoning prostitution. I am angered at this because I already believe I am less than a woman and the only way to get sex, I either have to pay her or else turn to pornography. I have been addicted to porn for nearly 18 years. How can anyone teaching Unity and equality promote prostitution? I believe prostitution is a crime against men and their sexual vulnerability. The former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer lost his position after getting caught visiting a prostitute. Today I read in the news that this prostitute (Dupre) will appear on the TV program 20/20, has already made over $200,000 from appearances, and has been offered 1 million dollars by Hustler magazine to appear nude. The former Governor on the other hand is disgraced while she goes on to become famous. I feel betrayed by Neale and his God for not seeing it the way I do. Prostitution teaches me that a woman’s genitalia and body are more important and desirable than a man’s genitalia and body. I thought we were children of God who should treat each other with love and respect. How does me or other men paying for access to a woman’s vagina teach that she and I are equal?
2.)Since 1982 I have been hospitalized in psychiatric hospitals over 12 times, 7 of which I committed by law enforcement after threatening to hurt myself and others. I only share this with you to give you a clearer picture of the rage, hurt, and anger that I have carried. I have been to over 300 counselors, therapists, and mental health workers and all of them have attacked, judged me, threatened me, and ultimately dump me after a few sessions because they cannot or will not deal with my anger. Neale bought into my attack and hurt just like these counselors did. I thought he was better than that. A Course In Miracles teaches to recognize all attack as a call for love and to not become defensive when you encounter attack in another. Yet that is how I feel he behaved towards me. In one of the CWG books God tells Neale that whenever a person expresses hate or anger towards you, the first step towards healing is to ask the other person why he wants to harm or kill you. Neale did not demonstrate that towards me and instead chose to see me as his enemy and attacker, thus making the error real and making the same mistake I was making.
3.) My needs for love, sexuality, and security, friendship, are not being met. In fact I have no friends. Neale teaches that we should not want, need, yearn, or desire for anything, and that if we reach this egoless state, then all of these things will be ours. This statement makes me angry because it is beyond my ability to access and so I feel attacked. I feel resentful towards all of you when you all take sides defending Neale from my attacks. I am not like Neale who comes from a supposedly successful past in business. I have been a failure my entire life. When someone tells me I should not feel or have needs, it creates a homicidal and suicidal urge within me. I feel attacked and therefore I want to lash out.
4.) Who I really hate is Jesus and A Course In Miracles. I invested 6 years of my life in the late eighties studying and applying this Course, even doing the lessons 2 times. Most of my trips to the psychiatric hospital came after this. This Course really messed me up big time. I feel deep hatred and resentment when I see people like Neale, or Mary ann Williamson, Deepak Chopra and others who become successful on the spiritual paths they have chosen while my path has left me destitute, alone, filled with revenge, hopeless and suicidal. When I first started reading CVG I noticed right off the bat how similar the teachings were to ACIM. When I discovered it was Jesus, I felt betrayed and threatened. Who I really want to crucify is Jesus.
5.) I feel hate towards Neale because I resent his success and admiration from others. I feel guilt and hatred towards myself because I do not share in the feelings of blessedness that apparently the rest of you reading this post share in.
6.) I feel anger towards Neale because he and his God don’t give a clear answer on what to do regarding people who kill, rape, and carry out violence in our society. I personally identify with serial killers, rapists, murderers, terrorists, and others who promote violence because I feel a kinship to them. Whenever I would try to express my needs in the past, I was criticized and giving answers beyond my ability to accept, thus producing anger. “I ask all of you to overlook any grammatical errors.” I identify with these people of violence because I view myself as one of them waiting to happen. I know what it feels like to be punished and have all control stripped from you like an animal. Being committed to a psychiatric hospital is a journey into hell for those of you in the dark about it. Neale teaches these people should be exposed, made transparent, and held accountable. Yet anyone in their right mind should recognize that this is going on now in the form of vengeance and punishement against criminals. I hate all of you because of the way society has treated me when I sought help for my mental problems. I was punished and trauamatized severely. A Course in Miracles states that “the therapists of this world are useless t salvation, they make demands, and therefore cannot give to anyone.” The law of attraction states that what you focus on you get more of.” So how can punishing people who kill, rape, torture, and people like myself solve the problem?
7.) In all my years of searching for an end to my living nightmare, I have never come across one person or teaching that humanely deals with the problem of violence created by people such as myself, only punishment and trauma.
8.) I use anger and attack as an attempt to get what I need because no one ever listened to me when I hurt and tried to express my needs.
9.) I am highly disappointed in Neale and his response to me. I am even more disappointed in Jesus. Jesus I read over 600 pages of a Course In Miracles and you don’t offer one practical solution on how to help the mentally ill. In the pamphlet: Psychotherapy, Purpose, and Practice, you state : “The Mentally ill can and must be helped.” Come on Jesus, how do we help them? Any ideas. You don’t give one practical solution.

The above was from me “Wayne Williams” dated Nov 20 at 10:55 I somehow forgot to type my name in.

Wayne,
Thank you for the insight into your pain. Hopefully you can stick around this blog and continue to accept the love we share as a group.
I for one will try to understand when you may make comments out of spite or anger, and when present I will try to encourage you to remember that you too, are loved.
Maybe with time and enough sharing you will find that you are indeed worth loving, I would love to be part of your healing process if you will allow this.
Namaste
WE ARE ALL ONE

Wayne, I acknowledge and deeply appreciate your sharing with us so candidly. I am inspired and awed by your bravery. This kind of raw honesty is where it’s at. If anything, try and do your best to feel darned good about that.
Everyone, if we’re really going to show up as Love and Be the change, we have to be willing to go there. We have to be willing to get our personalities out of the way so that we can really hear what’s up.
Wayne, you are hurting, tremendously. What a wonderful gift that you are even able to be clear about that. Some people who feel similarly to you might not even be able to see that far into themselves. That clarity alone says a lot. The fact that you can even acknowledge that you have an addiction to pornography, says a lot.
There is Love within you, I feel it. I see it. You might not be showing it to us, and you might not want to show it to us, but it’s there. And it’s real. It’s just as real as the upset and hurt you are feeling.
You are hurting. It doesn’t make you bad. It doesn’t make you wrong. It doesn’t make you a failure. It just hurts. Any time there’s a gap in between how things are and how we want them to be – what’s left in the middle is pain and hurt. The bigger the gap in between how things are and how we want them to be, the more it hurts.
So the question becomes how do you close the gap? How do you close the gap in between how your life feels and how you want it to be? The answer? That’s where you come in. That’s where your heart comes in. I know you have one, and I know it’s still beating, or else you would have left long before any of us had the chance to invite you to share about what’s up for you.
What’s something that you like? What’s something that you feel ok or even so so about?

And Wayne, I’m really glad you are here.

Wayne,
When did the anger start? It sounds to me like you are depressed. Have you had any success with anti-depressants? I’m glad you were able to be collected enough to write such a detailed message.
You’ve done a good job talking about your negative feelings. What things make you happy? What are you grateful for?
God loves you as if you were God’s only child, Wayne. When you are sitting quietly, ask God for help. You may not hear God, but God hears your every thought. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
xo

e=mc squared: 103 years later, Einstein’s proven right.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20081120/sc_afp/sciencephysicseinstein_081120235605

Wayne,
I hear you and I feel you. I wish I had the magic words to write to make it all better but I don’t. All I have is an open heart that wants to let you in, help you in anyway I can. I used to work in a drug rehab and came accross a lot of people that felt lost and unloved like you seem to feel now. I used to spend a lot of time speaking with them. They are not used to people treating them with respect or love. I am one that finds my own self satisfaction from helping people like you. I am no doctor or anything like that. I just have a lot of love in my heart that I feel I NEED to share with especially people like you. My email address is chickcrabb@yahoo.com if you feel that I may be able to help in anyway at all. Please know that you are loved. I am giving you a strong hug now, can you feel me? Peace and Love Al Ways. Sharron

I agree with Sara E… wonderful thoughts and reflections…!
Yes, Wayne, I feel you are a so smart and aware person that you can talk the way you talk… so honest and clearly…
I don’t want to appear as defending Neale or so, but I’ve read almost all his books, and I don’t remember him promoting pornography… Of course, he doesn’t say neither that it is ‘wrong’, but, CWG ‘promotes’ joy, playfulness, freedom, and of course, LOVE in sex…
I myself find the messages in A Course in Miracles a little cryptic and abstract, so, I prefer the clarity and humor of CWG, among his deepness, too…
I think one of the central questions CWG offers is:
What is the next grandest version, of the grandest vision I ever could create about myself…?
(Sorry about my english, I’m spanish-speaker)
What I find fascinating in CWG it’s that it offers us several ways for finding our own way in that search…
So, I’d say: don’t worry too much about Jesus, God, or Neale, just try to find a way that expresses the real, core you…
Of course, all what these masters and messengers say it’s almost the same: try to love yourself, LOVE yourself, and then you’ll find others loving you, and you loving others, and everybody loving every thing…
Our rage, hatred, fear, hurts, etc., though they are very ‘real’, are just clouds that don’t let us see that we are really Love, the Love behind the curtain, the Love behind the clouds and shadows…
And I, like Sara E. and others, can sense the Love that is in you, and IS you…
So, my friend, keep on… perhaps you don’t feel yourself blessed, but I bless you now, right now…
A big hug,
Victor

Phew! Wow! All these fascinating comments! As I read all the comments from top to bottom, and got to Wayne’s first comment where he attacks Neale, I observed myself thinking, “gee, who is this arsehole, get a life!” I then quickly said, “Thank you for sharing!” to myself and continued to read on. I saw the loving replies to Wayne, I saw Neale’s inserted replies, and then Wayne’s large share, speaking his truth and giving us further insight and background into where he is coming from.
Thanks Wayne, for sharing so candidly, thanks to all the others for their comments too. I enjoyed being a part of it all as I read.
Neale, thank you for being you and all the wonderful books – I have read them all – I also came to a talk you gave many years ago in Durban, South Africa, at one of the beach front hotels there and I was blown away! I still have the tapes of that talk you gave. I skipped work that day to come and listen to you and it was one of the best few hours spent! Thank you!
Wayne…I have felt your anger at times, as I have also been on a search for answers, read ACIM, did the workbook, read literally hundreds, if not thousands of other books etc. I too, at times, have felt abandoned by God, felt like all my prayers have gone unanswered and seen others enjoying moments of awakening, clarity and success and felt some twinges of jealousy, and frustration at my own lack of success. But having said that, if I really look at my life and all my experiences and all I have read and learned along the way, I can see that God, Jesus (Jeshua), and others have been with me all the way. I truly feel there is so much love being directed at us all now that all that was/is in the shadow is being revealed or coming to the surface to be felt, acknowledged, loved and, if we have learned anything at all…LET GO! In each moment we have a choice – do I choose lov or do I choose fear, do I choose attack or do I choose Peace…there is always a choice.
Wayne..I feel you would benefit more by reading the Abraham-Hicks material – Ask and It is Given, and watching their 5DVD set called Abraham-Hicks The Master Course Video. Actually do the exercises in the book, Ask and it is Given book – they are the practical answers/steps you may be looking for (as per you question to Jesus – Come on Jesus, how do we help them? Any ideas. You don’t give one practical solution.)
I find them to be very practical steps/exercises that if applied diligently, will shift things for you fairly quickly. I came across that book when I had no money, my wife was 8 and a half months pregnant and we had both been made redundant in a foreign country and were to be deported if I did not find another job with a company who could sponsor me within 28 days. We were feeling pretty desperate and depressed and scared. All we did was read the book, halfheartedly apply some of the exercises and within those 28 days, our lives were completely turned around. I found a new job with a company that sponsored me a further 5 year work permit with an increase of £9000 per year to what I was earning, found a new home, went from riding a bicycle to owning a little second hand car, and with my new salary, my wife could afford to stay home with our new baby.
It helped us shift our focus, change our personal energy signatures/vibrations/point of attraction and turn things around. Pretty practical! It helped us to let go of that which no longer served us, and to choose again, each day, each moment, to focus on gratitude instead of fear, anger, resentment, hurt, lack, etc.
Letting go of the crap that we carry, letting go of our judgements, letting go of complaining, feeling sorry for ourselves, attacking others and instead, choosing peace, choosing to be thankful, grateful, helpful, compassionate, complimenting instead of criticizing and complaining – oh how much better that all feels!
Who need to hang on to anger when you can love? Who needs to be depressed when you can BE HAPPY NOW, simply by changing what you think about, what you give your attention to and what you focus on each moment.
Its all up to YOU.
I love you all!
Peace & Love
Craig

Craig, you are awesome.

Wayne..the choice is yours. I shared what worked for me with an open heart and did not try to “ram” anything down your throat. If you choose not to see that and still choose to feel angry, feel hatred, feeling sorry for yourself and holding onto the past playing the victim, thats your choice, and I accept that.
Peace & Love
Craig

PS…Wayne…thought I’d share this one with you:
Specialness
“What harm is there in specialness? Only all the harm you see within the world.”
We have talked much now of your special love for others, but what of the specialness you desire for yourself? Do you not see how intricately linked these two desires are? The desire to give and receive specialness is the driving desire of your life, and the world you see but reflects this desire. Love’s opposite would not exist but for your invitation of it. All hate, guilt, shame, and envy are but the result of your creation of an opposite to love through specialness. All the maladies of the current time as well as those of history would give way to love without the interference of all that would make you special. You think issues if survival rule the world – and so they do, but they would not if it were not for your need to be special. Transportation would be transportation rather than a status symbol. Without a desire for specialness, a person would have no need for status at all. Beauty would be what it is and not what products would make it. Without a desire for specialness, a person would have no need for products at all. Wealth would be the happy state of everyone, for without specialness to feed, there would be neither want nor hunger. Without a desire for specialness there would be no war, for there would be no reason to break the peace. No land would be considered more sacred to some than others, no resources withheld, no people deemed subservient.
What harm is there in specialness? Only all the harm you see within the world.
While you desire specialness for yourself, your true Self will remain hidden and unknown, and since this is a Course that seeks to reveal your true identity, specialness must be seen for what it is so that you will desire it no longer. You can have specialness or your true Self, but never both. The desire for specialness is what calls your little self into being. This is the self that is easily wounded, the self that takes on grievances and refuses to give them up, the self that is prone to pettiness and bitterness, resentment and deception. Be truthful as you examine yourself and you will see that this is so.
It is more difficult to see that this desire for specialness does not stop with what would bring misery to your own mind and heart. Perhaps the leader of some impoverished country brings misery to others with his desire for specialness, but not you. Yes, taken on a grand scale, you can see that this desire can wreak havoc; but still you would not believe that you own desire for specialness or to make another special could make a difference to many – or possibly even to anyone. You just want to love your mate and children, your parents or your friends, and would be quite content to have them think you special and to make them special to you. Out in the wider world you think you are anonymous and so are they. If within the small sphere of those they love they cannot be made to feel special – and you along with them – then what is the point of being here at all? For this is indeed the point you have made of your life.
And so within this small sphere you do what is necessary to maintain your specialness and that of the others within it. Depending on your culture, what is necessary may mean few things, or many and different things for each one. From this sphere of influence comes your notions of success, your ideas of what is necessary to be good, your notions of what it means to treat others well. You would not be special to this one if you did not look a certain way, and you would not be special to that one if you did not earn a certain amount of money. You would not be special if you did not give this one certain gifts and opportunities, nor would you fulfil your responsibility of making this one special if you did not do so. To make one small change in this culture is difficult to impossible, because if you were to go your own way and choose your own look, lifestyle, or attitude, you might risk being seen as special within this group, and your choices might affect your ability to make others feel special in the way in which they have become accustomed to your doing so.
How many rest within this sphere of influence? Twenty, fifty, one hundred? And how many times is this multiplied by each of them? And yet this is but a fraction of whom your specialness influences. In truth, your specialness affects everyone.
Your desire for specialness makes of you a slave to others and others to you. It diminishes your freedom, and for no end. For what others think of you does not make you special, nor does what you think or do for others make them special. All notions of popularity, success, and competition begin here. All notions of loyalty as well.
For now we come upon a linchpin in your plan for specialness – one of great necessity to overcome if you are to reach the learning goal this Course has set. Loyalty stems from faith, and where you set your faith is as much a determiner of your perception as is your concept of separation. All change seems to question your loyalty to others and all choices are made with this loyalty in mind. Loyalty stems here from your faith in fear and all from which you need protection. To belong to a loyal group, a family or community of supporters, is seen as necessary for your safety. While many of you do not have this, you strive for it, and its attainment has been the cause of much suffering in your world. This banding together for support against fear simply makes fear real, and the seeming cause for loyalty essential.
Your concept of loyalty is what makes it difficult for you to entertain withdrawing your effort to manifest the specialness of others and yourself. “Making special” seems to be a responsibility you have undertaken, and a refusal to make special an act of disloyalty. What’s more, when all is said and done, you are loyal not only to your group but to humanity itself. Despite the many ills that have made you and those you love suffer, to call into question humanity’s right to specialness seems the ultimate act of disloyalty to your own kind. To even think that you could change and be unlike others of your kind, you would call an act of treachery. To give your allegiance to your Father and to the learning goals of this Course has set is but an act of treason upon the world as you know it.
And so it is. And so must your faith and loyalty be placed in something new, something worthy of your diligence and something that will not leave behind your brothers and your sisters to a life of suffering and of sin.
All suffering and sin comes from specialness, and so it is but specialness you must leave behind. And there is a way to do so, a way that will not harm any of those you love even while betraying all they would hold dear. But which would you rather betray? The truth or illusion? You cannot be loyal to both, and herein lies your problem. For at the turning point you look back and see one other you cannot betray, and one other whose special treatment of yourself you cannot live without or abandon hope of receiving. And so you choose illusion over truth and betray all that you are and the hope your brother has placed in you as saviour of the world.
You who still fantasize that you can have it both ways, give up your fantasy and realise that real choice lies before you. No, this is not an easy choice, or it would have been chosen long ago and saved much suffering and put an end to hell. But it is also not a difficult choice, nor one that is in truth yours alone to make. This choice cannot be made without your brother and is indeed your brother’s holy choice, as well as his birthright and your own. You only need to be open to the place that no specialness can enter, and bid your brother choose for you. For in his choice lies one united will for glory that knows neither specialness nor separation. In this choice lies life eternal.
Taken from A Course of Love – Jeshua speaks through Mari Perron

Wayne,
I was just wondering if you were still out there and if anything has changed for you? I have to say that when I read what you wrote on 11/23 at 4:04 regarding my post, it gave me much joy in my heart. I felt that you felt the love that I feel in my heart for you. Please either respond here or send me an email (chickcrabb@yahoo.com)…
Peace and Love Al Ways. Sharron

Wayne Williams..Hey
Wow.. waiting for the almighty word to change your lot in life. Why not write your own book and find the “Answer” in the last chapter.
Been in jail? I was a corrections nurse for 14 years as well as working in a drug rehab place.. Lots of excuses..whew.. Feel violent? Go out and run five miles, push up those endorphines! I got to meet so many murderers, rapists, violators of nice people… No remorse by most Psychopaths..words, books, lecturers, TONS Of Love doesn’t touch the mind of a mean spirit… I do believe there is a God.. and I think you should connect in Your own personal way for what you really want in life.. or are your quests just a smokescreen to get any feed back regardless of content…. Seriously..