A rule of prayer

I like to say the Pledge of Allegiance when I get up every morning. It reminds me that America is the best place in the world and that I have a lot to be thankful for. It also puts me in the right frame of mind for the rest of the day. Whenever I encounter problems or something isn't it working right in my community or in the country, I tell myself "Hey, America is great; don't worry."

I'm in the midst of a sea change with my prayer life. Prayer was always an inspiration thing for me, but that quickly loses steam and I was the same as Rod....reading and studying about prayer but not actually praying. Well, I found out about the Daily Office (I come from a lapsed Episcopal background so basically didn't have any religious upbringing at all). I'm just finishing up Scot McKnight's "Praying with the Church," (I highly recommend it, especially for those with a Protestant background or one not grounded in the Divine Hours--my Catholic husband has no clue about 'how those monks pray'), and have been learning to use "Benedictine Daily Prayer, A Short Breviary." Also, just finished up "The Benedictine Handbook." And, any book by Esther de Waal is highly recommended...she writes on Celtic spirituality (the Christian kind, not the pagan kind). I can't explain how refreshing it is to be praying in the sacred rhythms of the Church. I very much appreciate the Shema, "Hear O Israel, the Lord our God is One, and thou shalt love the Lord thy God....". I have a mezuzah on my doorpost (a habit my husband's family got into after a stint in Israel) and it consistently reminds me to recite and ponder the Shema. I'm looking forward to finding some more prayer books to use as I learn to pray with the Church. I've noticed that my spontaneous prayer is more inspired now. And I'm beginning to memorize some of the great prayers of Christian history, which help when I'm not feeling inspired. Another thing I do when I can't sleep and it's late at night, is to light three candles in honor of the Trinity and to pray with their light only. It is very comforting and it reminds me that God in His three-fold divinity is present with me. Some of my best prayers have been uttered with those three candles. Now, if I was to share this with my many evangelical friends I know it would scandalize them, but here I think, it's safe to talk about one's prayer life. :-)

Bktx1- then maybe for now you shouldn't even try to pray. Or maybe you should yell and scream at God, a different form of prayer to be sure, but prayer nonetheless. Or maybe you should try repetition of the Jesus Prayer. In the meantime, know that there are people who will pray for you.

I'm one that would be considered an evangelical. However, I pray in many forms. I often pray freely, saying what I feel needs to be said and it is much like a 2-way conversation between God and myself. Then, there are other times where I just don't know what or how to pray and I offer up desperation prayers such as "help me Lord, to find the words, you know my heart."
I *DO* find great comfort and solace in praying things such as the Lords Prayer, reciting the Apostles Creed, and even the Rosary (yes, I, and evangelical know how and do often pray the rosary!).
I think prayer is a very intimate thing; no rules can dictate it, no one can define your personal walk with the Lord for you. If you find comfort in your prayer life, then you are doing something right. Frustration is the key to showing you that it isn't what it needs to be. Someone wise once told me if you approach prayer as a duty or chore, that is what it will be. But if you approach it as a priveledge, it will be sweeter and more peaceful to you. (and it is a priveledge) :)

I do not "pray" per se, but what I do is a silent meditation. I've done a sound meditation before, but don't really like to, because I feel incredibly self - concious, and not self - concious in a good way. I also like to write out what I'd like to manifest in my life, then read it back softly to myself several times, the try to visualize it happening. It sounds crazy, but it works for me.

I'm really rational, to a fault, and so my former therapist at one point had me simply pray 'maranatha' for 30 minutes a day.
Rod, what's a 'prayer rope'?

I make a quiet time during the day. Sometimes I can do it when the girls are playing, and sometimes I need to wait until all of the kids are in school. Many people make time early in the morning before the rest of the house awakens, but I don't like setting an alarm unless I absolutely must.
I read the Bible for a brief period and then close my eyes and meditate. I use my favorite words to keep mind from wandering, "love, peace, compassion, grace, forgiveness, Lord, Jesus" I just keep repeating them over and over until I feel the presence of the Lord. Fruits? I'm slower to anger. I'm a better wife, mother, and friend. It's like quenching a thirst. It's connecting the spirit that's within with the One God. One as in that which can't be divided, not as in the one that stands alone.

I sit for an hour a day in silence. Mornings are best, partly because I am a morning person, partly because that's before the Great Big Anxious Engine of my mind gets going. Some people can do it in the evenings. It takes an unusual person to break for it in the middle of the day.His word I just listen. In any conversation, things get really unproductive when one person does all the talking and the other person can't get a word in edgewise. Where the first person is really into talking but doesn't ever listen. In the last analysis, what God has to say is much more interesting than what I have to say. And when He sits with me in the silence, His silence is more rewarding, even, than anything He might say. (PS - Rod, your thing puts "laymen" down a lot. My experience with RC monks and contemplative nuns - a very extensive experience - does not suggest that these individuals, because of their life style, are any more likely (or, any less likely) to find that Silence than anyone else. If they like to suggest the contrary, I'd have to ask some questions around the issues of pride, truth, all that jazz.)

Harvey, you are imposing your own reductionist materialist paradigm onto the realm of religion. It's not valid, or at least not persuasive. Rod Dreher Words failed me evidently. I can accept that. I'll try harder. It's what we do. The statement I made is valid. So it has to be my delivery, that's something I can work on and will.

Rod, There have been times when I have posted to disagree with you and many times I have been harsh in my words toward you. BUT I would have to say that this post of yours is one of the absolute best! Thank you.

I m not good at praying, but here are prayers which i like because of their simplicity:
Prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian:
O Lord and Master of my life, cast away from me the spirit of laziness, idle curiosity, love of power and vain talk. But grant me, Your servant, the spirit of moderation, humility, patience and love. Yes, Lord and King, grant me to see my own faults and not to judge my brothers and sisters. For You are blessed forever. Amen.
Another variant: http://www.serfes.org/printerVersion2.asp?URL=/spiritual/april2002.htm (a lot depends on translation and I don't know how it sounds for english speaking people.In my language it sounds very harmoneous, so that it is difficult to imagine replacing words. The same as in this famouse morning PRAYER OF THE OPTINA ELDERS: 1. O Lord, give me strength to face with serenity everything that this day will bring. Grant me to entrust myself fully to Your holy will. Every hour of this day teach me and support me. Whatever news I may receive during the day, teach me to accept it with peace of mind and with firm conviction that everything is according to Your holy will. 2. In all my words and actions guide my thoughts and feelings. In all unexpected events, do not let me forget that everything is sent by You. 3. Teach me to deal sincerely and wisely with every member of my family, bringing confusion or sorrow to none. 4. O Lord, give me strength to bear the weariness of the coming day and all the events of this day. Guide my will and teach me to pray, to believe, to hope, to endure, to forgive and to love. Amen.
http://www.dorogadomoj.com/d424opt.html

Harvey, Nicely put, though personally, I always change one line to read... "...courage to change the things I can and should;" Lord knows that I've learned the hard way that there are things I can change that I should just leave alone.

I wasn't jumping on Hollywood stars, I was jumping on American traitors.

I apologize Rod for taking Max by his tale and getting into an off topic wrassling match. Character flaw, I'm glad getting off on tangents is my only one......

I agree prayer is very important to the Christan so on that level we agree Rod. Catholic/Orthodox "contemplative" ie "centering" type prayers are not Biblical ways to pray. The Bible warns of praying in vain repetitions like the heathen. If you are praying akin to Buddhists this is not a good thing whatsoever.
There is a difference between Christian prayer and pagan meditation. One is about relationship, and focusing on God's Word, not seeking annihilation of one's mind and repeating the same words over and over. I do not believe "detachement and ascesis" are even Christian goals but one's centered in the teachings of false religions. Detachement is itself based in selfishness and an innerward looking rather then seeking after the will of God and being the salt of the world. You do not want to be on the same path of Buddhist monks, Rod. This is where many like Thomas Merton went wrong. Buddist monks seek the altered states of conciousness sought by all members of the occult. Sure, there is a change in the brain to the so-called Alpha state which leaves one's mind open to demonic influence. In Buddist temples and monastaries, the main focus is on meditation, and these monks DO [according to the memoirs of the one's Ive read] have trance states, visits from spirits [demonic] and other experiences that are NOT of God. God does not want you to "empty" yourself, to alter your state of consciouness, to free your mind of "thoughts" and leave it EMPTY or to seek the annihilation of personality that eastern and western contemplative mysticism seeks after. In truth there is little difference between the actions of Catholic/ORTHODOX MYSTICS, and or Hindu and Buddhist ones.
Overall we will have a difference of opinion here. "Christian" mysticism is deception that is accepted and practiced both in the Catholic and Orthodox churches but really false practices that are anything but Christian. Mysticism of all forms does NOT lead to God. http://www.christiananswers.net/q-eden/mysticism-bennett.html

Biblebeliever, How does one die to self ,as we are called to do, if prayer is a list of requests followed by a thank you for last weeks answers? Some of us need to "obliterate (our) own personalties" for an hour a day or so. I am not trying to be argumentative but rather I have been seeking answers about prayer and for the past 20 years have not found those answers in the evangelical church. I found the comments above by Gretchen and Lindsey very interesting. Thank you for 'fessing up to your liturgical practices, ladies.

I know you mean well, Biblebeliever, but I find the prayer disciplines followed for nearly two millenia by Christian monks and others to be a more reliable guide. Besides, more than half my prayers are "in my own words" to God.

I'm wondering if those of us who pray have different reasons for praying. Why do it? For instance, I don't pray because I expect God to do anything for me. I don't expect him to heal the sick. I don't expect him to bring peace in Iraq. I don't expect him to make life better for those in poverty. I don't expect him to feed the hungry. I don't expect him to clean up New Orleans. I don't expect him to keep another hurricane from hitting New Orleans again. I'm sure you get the idea. I don't pray because I'll earn brownie points with God. I don't pray because it makes me feel good. I pray because I believe that the connection that's made in those moments of silence helps me to be more in tune with my spiritual self so that I can know and do the will of the Lord. That's how I believe that God works in the world. He works through us. So, Bktx1, I'm sorry for your pain. I think that you might be expecting God to work in a way that's counter to God's nature. If you think of prayer as a means to connect with your spiritual dimension so that you can handle things thrown at you in life and make good choices, then I think that you might find prayer useful. It's the spiritual transformation of self with prayer that I think has basis in reality.
I don't get angry at God because I don't expect God to act in a way that's counter to God's normal way of intervening or God's ALWAYS(I believe) way of intervening.

And Seeking... There's nothing wrong with getting professional help. There's nothing wrong with going outside the Christian organizations/denominations that you've been involved with and finding a group whom you can trust.

Dear seeking to pray, my heart went out to you when I read this, because I ve been in a similar situation and I think I understand how you feel. This may not be true for you as it was for me, but eventually I came to feel that the one thing that stood most in my way was that I had not forgiven myself. If I d had a healthy respect for myself as a beloved child of God in the first place, I would have been able to say to them, with dignity, I do not deserve to be treated this way. If you think God wants this, you are wrong. And I could have walked away from them. I didn t stand up for myself because I didn t think I was worth it. I was always trying to prove to God that I was worth it, and feeling that I could never succeed. So I d punish myself, but at the same time, a part of me was angry that I had to suffer so much to earn his love. Well, news flash--I didn t have to earn his love. I already had it. In his eyes I m already worth it, I m already home in his arms, and I don t have to do a single thing except take a deep breath and lean back on him. Stop fussing. I m still working on this, obviously, because it takes a long time to get over the programming that abusers will put in your head. I heard a preacher named Kenneth Copeland say a cool thing. It went something like this: Some folks think they re gonna pray three hours a day and ASTONISH GOD! Let me tell you, you are not going to ASTONISH GOD. He s seen it ALL.
Receiving communion was good for me, because it s a pure gift of love. Although wading through the rest of the service may not be possible because of all the psychological baggage. You could try it if you go to that kind of a church. Calling God by another name that doesn t evoke painful memories might help. If Father or Lord makes you feel bad, try just calling him friend, beloved, healer, creator, or any other name that brings you peace. There s nothing heretical about this. God has a million names. For me, it helped to stop trying to solve big issues in my prayer, and to stop feeling guilty if I wasn t carrying out what I d been taught were correct practices. It was important to be kind to myself in daily life and to stop feeling guilty for just enjoying the beautiful world. Do the things that you love, and allow yourself to feel that you are loved by God as you relax and enjoy. It is all right just to be happy. You touch his garment when you are gentle with others and with yourself. You touch his hand when you lovingly receive the morning sunlight, a fresh breeze, a cool drink of water, a child s smile. He prepared all these things for you, out of love. I read scripture, but I avoided hard and controversial passages. For me, the gospels were the best, because I craved the words and presence of Jesus. I especially like John s gospel, because it s so full of his words of tender love for his friends. I also like the letters of St. John. We love because he first loved us. And perfect love casts out fear. Whatever does you good is what you should read. If anything starts to arouse anxiety or churn up anger, just turn the page. You have no need to deal with everything at once. I have found meditation to be a very helpful kind of prayer--the kind of meditation where you just sit quietly and breathe evenly in and out, letting all thoughts go. It helps me to listen to peaceful music while I do this. It s hard at first because so many thoughts come crowding in, but for me, if I keep counting my breaths and focusing on how good it is to breathe in and out, I do become calm eventually. I don t experience emptiness in this. I experience a loving presence sitting quietly with me, when I become quiet enough to notice. You might want to think of yourself as someone who has been injured, and needs time to recover. Take away the pressure and judgment. Cut yourself some slack. Do what you can do, and if it hurts, stop. Allow yourself all the time you need. God is very patient and has plenty of time. If you never did one thing in your life but really understand that he loves you just as you are, that would be enough to make him happy. Sorry for the long post. This may be all about me, and not helpful to you at all! But one thing I know, and that is that God cares about you, and you don t have to struggle to reach him. He is already here.

Bktx1, I feel for you. I recommend screaming at God. I've done it once, about 10 years ago -- screamed myself hoarse, combined with moaning and crying at the top of my lungs. And it helped. God's heard it before, you know. And when I had yelled my fill, I saw things differently. May God bless you.

You are on to something. Your readers are right. All are good ideas. Divine liturgy, Opus Dei's discipline of daily offering, mental prayer, sacraments, all bring us into contact with Divine Intimacy.
We need to learn to go to a deep place, where we pray in spirit and in truth, where the Holy Spirit actually prays for and through us. To get there, we must silence ourselves, our egos, our screaming minds. To do that, we must go into a form of prayer, mental prayer, that is like meditation. You must find a zone, a place that is sacred, usually in front of the Blessed Sacrament, enter that space, either mentally or physically, but at least mentally, and allow your mind to meditate on a scene from Our Lord's life, or meditate on being at the foot of the Cross with Our Lady, and actually experience it. You will find if you do this fifteen minutes a day, preferably before or after daily mass, that you will grow in leaps and bounds spiritually, that you will tap into the streams of living water of which Our Lord spoke. St. Teresa of Avila said all you need is fifteen minutes a day. I have been doing this for a year, amid tremendous suffering and trials, both exterior and interior. God is running the show in my life now. He put me in a position to go to daily mass without any real effort (church right across the street from where I work), taught me to approach Him in intimacy through mental prayer, brought me readings and friends to support me, and gave me an excellent spiritual adviser. For the first time in 25 years of being a Catholic, in the last year I have truly begun to enter into what I would call the Spiritual Life. Before that, I was going to Mass, believed in all of it, sometimes even went on retreat, though rarely, prayed the rosary, occasionally went to daily mass, and read good spiritual books. But I was keeping God at bay, and I was not getting purged of my predominant faults, or having to truly confront my lack of charity toward others, myself, and not finding inner peace.
You have raised a key issue for your readers. This is a tremendous service in Grace. The path to infusion of sanctifying Grace is in the path you have described, silence before the transcendent and Almighty and Merciful God, loving embrace of Him in true channeled prayer, receit of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit without real effort, but through a discipline of invoking and being docile or available to Him. It is hidden, kept for those willing to be children to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Now. Here.
This is what monks and nuns achieve, a level of intimacy with God that we all envy. The fact is, we are all called to it. Fifteen minutes a day. That's all. As you grow in faith, perhaps it will increase to a half hour, an hour a day, but that is not necessary for the ordinary person. What sometimes occurs is that people are put off of mental prayer, thinking it is inaccessible, weird, or foreign. Actually, it is as old as prayer itself. Going off before God, Moses, Abraham, Elisha, Elijah, King David, Jeremiah, Our Lord, the Apostles, Church Fathers, Desert Fathers, St. Benedict, and on into our own time. The only thing that made Mother Teresa's work possible was much time spent in silent prayer and adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. You can't just sit there, something has to be going on between you and God, between your soul and the Divine presence.
That something can be connected through mental prayer. Call it what you will: Silent prayer, contemplation, deep meditation, but it is a leaving of quotidian distraction and everyday prayer. It is entering before the Throne of God. Being in a state of recollection. All are called to this.
Another thing that may help: one should speak directly to God, either silently or aloud, but the aloud option must be done carefully to avoid men in white coats. In any event, we should approach God without fear of speaking one on one of our problems, what is bothering us, asking how we are going to get through something, or how could that happen, and what is so and so doing when they did that to me, etc. Failing to approach God as a father is a serious mistake. He simply wants us to approach him without a lot of pomposity and to ask, to seek, to knock, and then to sense His presence and to respond openly in love. As we do this, some things happen. We begin to really realize the immensity and reality of God, His real presence in us as well as in the Blessed Sacrament. As we persist in daily mental prayer and intimacy with God, and stay in a state of sanctifying Grace through frequent confession, and if able, frequent Holy Communion, we begin to have a fear offending God, we begin to have an appreciation of the horror of sin, of its effect of separating us from that Divine presence and interior power of Grace.
Once you truly enter into this practice and state, God does most of the work and the rewards are immense. You never want to go back to the old way, of barely acknowledging God's existence except at set times. You will have a continuing awareness of God doing things in your life, sending you Graces, sending you tests of patience or charity. Whom God loves, he tests. I don't really know why, but we are a people who do not know His ways, as the Psalm says, but He teaches us His ways.
Some readings that may inspire: Soul of the Apostolate, also Garrigou La Grange, also St. Peter of Alcantara, "A Golden Treatise on Mental Prayer."

I have to put in a plug for the historic Book of Common Prayer. My church uses the American 1928 version. I grew up with it (1962-1979) and have come back to it (1997-present). Like any liturgy regularly practiced, the BCP shapes the worshipper and strongly influences private prayer. In private prayer, I will often start praying a BCP prayer from memory and, part-way through, use it as a springboard to prayer in my own words. Some of the BCP prayers I pray in full very often. E.g., "Lighten our darkness, we beseech thee, O Lord . . ." every night. Or the Collect for Purity: "Almighty God, unto whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hid; Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of thy Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love thee, and worthily magnify thy holy Name; through Christ our Lord. Amen."

'God does not want you to "empty" yourself, to alter your state of consciouness, to free your mind of "thoughts" and leave it EMPTY or to seek the annihilation of personality that eastern and western contemplative mysticism seeks after. In truth there is little difference between the actions of Catholic/ORTHODOX MYSTICS, and or Hindu and Buddhist ones.' But the purpose is VERY different. Orthodox prayers do not seek for 'annihilation of personality' and leaving onself empty.
'"Christian" mysticism are as empty as the Buddist and New age religions because they turn even prayer into something DEAD and LIFELESS. They teach people to obliterate their own personalities as they pray more to a "force" that wants them empty and lifeless and not in conversation using rote words and emptiness.' Why Orthodox prayer should be DEAD and LIFELESS? i never heard about any 'force' wanting it to be so in christianity. As i understand it --some short formulas help to express your heart to God directly, without excess words and feelings, in another words that minimum helps your mind and heart not to go in wrong direction, not to start thinking about something unnecessary.
As for chatting with God, telling to Him everything about how you spend your day, perhaps for someone it is the only acceptable way of prayer, but i thnink using God as just imagined psychoanalyst to whom you can pour out your soul is a bit skin-deep attitude. It might very easily turn into talking with yourself (or with your own conscience) and only supposing that God also might hear your words. In such prayers there is no mystics of course... but i think in real prayer mystics (or mystery)is always present. How can it not be mystical (mysterious)--trying to connect yourself to God and to believe He can reply to that?? P.s. Inspired by extreme situations i can pray with my own words, in other time it's very hard, i become lost in expressions and feel it is all wrong or silly or is not worth saying.

...When I pray my mind is focused on the Word of God, ... "Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have Mercy on me a sinner", yep, them catliks and greeks sure don't understand the Word of God, even though that short phrase both sums up the entire gospel message and is found in a slightly different variant in the gospels itself, which that Jesus guy himself praised. I believe God protected me during my previous forays into "being one with the universe" and other such spiritual enterprises. I was spared the visions, trances, and visits from spirit guides that so many of my pals had. Today I thank God for this protection. He sure blessed you with the gift of Sanctimony though...in abundance.

Come on, Aaron, let's not get personal.