Touch not thy monkey
Tuesday March 27, 2007
What we have here in north Texas is a failure to communicate. When a man can't make a weepy audiocassette to be played for his pet monkey while said monkey is on an overnight trip without being accused of interspecies...
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About Crunchy Con
Rod Dreher is an editorial columnist for the Dallas Morning News, and author of "Crunchy Cons" (Crown Forum), a nonfiction book about conservatives, most of them religious, whose faith and political convictions sometimes put them at odds with mainstream conservatives. The views expressed in this blog are his own.
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ROD: "I love this story and can't get enough of it. I hope it goes on and on forever. If Texas didn't exist, you'd have to make it up." One word (actually 2 1/2) regarding the above news story from me, a 7th generation Texan: George W. Bush. Contrast, then combine, these two very Texas stories and you have the ultimate reasoning to butress the most primal Darwinian evolutionary thesis.
Rawlins, you're the guy who wants to erect a statue in Dallas to Anna Nicole Smith. I wish to be associated with that campaign!
Suddenly I'm reminded of the greatest new story of 2002... http://archives.cnn.com/2002/US/West/12/19/monkey.pants.reut/index.html
"Everybody's got somthin' to hide, except me and my monkey...." John Lennon
I just saw "Every Which Way But Loose" on TV last weekend - with Clint Eastwood and Clyde the Orangutan.
Very cute, but I have to say, domesticated animals are enough for me... I love dogs and cats, but wild animals are always, inherently, unpredictable.
You're really having a pretty terrible day when you find yourself telling a reporter "I do not have sex with my monkey."
Like rape, monkey-poking is an accusation easy to make and difficult to refute.
What was on the tape, Michael Jackson singing "I'm forever blowing bubbles?"
I worked with Jim Dunlap when I was editor of the Plano daily paper. He's a jnice, hoenst man who loves animals. You should see how a newsroom reacted when he brought large reptiles for show and tell. However, it is clearly against Plano ordinance to house wild animals at home. Hell, you can't even have a chicken (santaria or otherwise) in Plano ... unless it's pre-sauteed. But, all that said, Plano is still Plano. At least the monkey wasn't distributing candy canes or steroids.
Jim Dunlap is a great friend and great guy. He was misquoted in the original newspaper story in the Plano paper. The DMN subsequently picked up the story with the misquotes. It should die. I find it interesting that someone so concerned about the morals of the country would want this story to go "on and on forever."
Hey, you got nothing on my home state. Have you read about the guy in Cheeseland convicted of having sex with a deer carcass? Kim M
I find it interesting that someone so concerned about the morals of the country would want this story to go "on and on forever." It's. A. Joke.
Anyway, I pray for monkey-touchers around the world to turn away from their weird little hobby. It's the least I can do for my fellow primates, yes? (P.S. That's a joke too.)
Like rape, monkey-poking is an accusation easy to make and difficult to refute. No kidding. Ever try to cross-examine a monkey?
They're usually on the bench.
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