Crunchy Con

Vox populi, vox Dei?, or, When faith is vulgar

Friday August 3, 2007

Let me just say flat-out that I cannot stand the Trinity Broadcast Network and all its cheesy, sleazy minions. They've just bought some holy land theme park, and I can only imagine what new heights of trashiness they're going to reach with it (basically, when it comes to TBN, I'm Ignatius Reilly watching movies at the Prytania). Moreover, the Jesus junk that so many Christians hanker for puts me in a moneychangers-in-the-temple mood.

However, let me tell you a story.

Around 1994, I guess it was, I developed a rosary devotion to Our Lady of Fatima. I prayed fervently, intensely, faithfully for a wife -- or, if that wasn't in God's will, for the grace to accept my single state. Miraculous things began to happen to me. Nothing flashy, but also nothing that I could write off to coincidence. Only after I was engaged to Julie, and she phoned to ask me if I wanted to accept a trip to Portugal being offered us as a honeymoon did I start to connect some dots. We had chosen a church in New Orleans in which to marry, by the name of Our Lady of the Rosary. It just felt right. I had forgotten, if I'd ever known, that on October 13, 1917, in the final Fatima apparition, Mary identified herself as "Our Lady of the Rosary." And it so happened that October 13, 1996, was the day that Julie and I fell in love. I hadn't noticed. Of course a free trip to Portugal had fallen into our laps! I told Julie (who was not yet Catholic, and who knew nothing about Fatima) that yes, we had to take this trip, and that we needed to make a pilgrimage to Fatima to thank the Virgin for her intercession on our behalf.

Then I told her about the Fatima apparitions, which if the story unnerved her Protestant self, she didn't let it show. By the way, 10 years to the day after we fell in love, our daughter was born. We named her Nora Lucia (Lucia, after Lucia, one of the Fatima visionaries). And her patron saint is, naturally, the Virgin). But I'm getting ahead of myself.

In Portugal on our honeymoon, we made a pilgrimage to Fatima, in January. We got off the bus under wet, gray skies, and made our way toward the basilica. We had to walk down the main street of the town. A more gaudy, vulgar display of popular piety I've never seen. There were (literally) glow-in-the-dark Virgin Marys in shop windows. There was "Fatiburger," and "The John Paul II Snack Bar." On and on and on. It was grotesque, and deeply disheartening. By the time we reached the end of the street, we almost wanted to get back on the bus and return to Lisbon.

We walked through a wall of trees to reach the vast asphalt plain in front of the basilica, and beheld a large crowd of pilgrims making their way toward the church. From the looks of things, these were mostly poor people. In front of us, we saw a young couple inching forward. The wife was on her knees, on the wet asphalt, praying as she crawled forward. Her husband stood by her, and next to him stood an older woman -- his mother, or mother-in-law -- holding an infant. It was plain that these humble people were making a pilgrimage to thank the Virgin for her prayers for their baby.

I looked out across this throng and felt kind of ashamed for my judgmentalness. Many of these people were stopping at a chapel on the plain, where there was a big fire going. People were burning candles to the Virgin there, and you could purchase life-size wax figures of limbs and body parts to throw onto the fire as an offering (e.g., you had a bum leg, buy a wax leg). It was profoundly pagan, but people were doing it, and you know, I understood why. It occurred to me as we joined the crowd moving toward the basilica that these poor, or relatively poor, people, people who were far less proud about showing their faith in public than we restrained North American bourgeois Catholics, were also likely to fill the trunks of their cars up with all the Jesus-and-Virgin-Mary kitsch being peddled by the souvenir shops.

Who, in the end, had more faith of the kind that saves and transforms? The tasteless poor, or the tasteful bourgeois?

I don't know the answer to that, and I do believe that religious kitsch can be rather than a manifestation of real faith, an emotional substitute for it. But I left the Fatima plain less secure in my ability to judge these matters. Most of us, I think, have a tendency to think that our own tastes in religious expression strike the correct balance. There's us, there's the frozen chosen, and there's the tacky enthusiasts. But many aspects of Orthodox and Catholic piety strike traditional Protestants as extremely gauche and off-putting (see the reliquary below containing the heart of St. John Vianney, the Cure d'Ars), just as many aspects of popular Protestant piety appall and bewilder Catholics and Orthodox. And I guess most all of it causes secularists to roll their eyes.

What to make of this? For me, I try to ask myself when tempted to condemn as vulgar this or that pious expression, whether this is simply a matter of taste, or if morality comes into it as well. There is a thin, often porous line between the sacred and the profane. If one believes that a fellow believer is profaning the sacred, however unintentionally, then one has an obligation to make that judgment. Aesthetics and morals aren't the same thing, but in the realm of the sacred, they are connected. Nevertheless, it seems to me we should work hard to resist passing snap judgments on the religious expressions of people whose style clashes with our own sense of what is right and proper. I'm pretty uppity about these things, so it's real hard for me. But God sees what's in the heart. As I've gotten older, I've come to be more small-c catholic in my view of religious styles. There are times in my spiritual life when Bach and Palestrina move me to the heights, and other times when nothing can touch me like "Amazing Grace" and "Just As I Am." I have been knocked out by the sensual beauty of the Gesu church in Rome, and similarly impressed by the starkness of a Dominican chapel in England, and a Congregationalist church in Vermont. God can be seen, felt and heard in all of it.

That said, I want to stress that I think it would be wrong to make individual emotion and personal utility the only criterion by which to judge public expressions of piety. But for Christians, it's worth remembering that we worship a Saviour who scandalized those who set standards of appropriateness in his culture by acting on what was in his heart, and in the hearts of those he met. On the other hand, by throwing the moneychangers out of the Temple, he recognized that there are some things that must be kept sacred. It's a hard balance to strike, but in general, I've learned that it's wiser to be generous toward popular piety. Chances are the way you worship strikes somebody as lifeless and stiff, and somebody else as irredeemably vulgar.

Advertisement
Comments
John
August 4, 2007 3:13 PM

Is it any surprise that the vulgus would have a vulgar faith?

Remember Robert Tilton? That was vulgarity.

Tony D.
August 4, 2007 4:44 PM

Remember Robert Tilton? That was vulgarity.

You mean this guy?

He's still around, late at night on BET, last I heard...


Tony D.
August 4, 2007 5:27 PM

Sorry for the lousy html skills...

Here's Robert Tilton.

Brian H
August 4, 2007 6:30 PM

'Minds me of the C&W classic:

"I don't care if it rains or freezes
'Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nations
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I'm afraid He'll have to go
His magnets ruin my radio
And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar

Riding down a thoroughfare
With His nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind
Trouble coming He don't see
He just keeps His eye on me
And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sunshine on His back
Make Him peel, chip and crack
A little patching keeps Him up to par

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say "damn"
I can let all my curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
'Cause he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once His robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

If I weave around at night
And policemen think I'm tight
They never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar

Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I could go a hundred miles an hour
Long as I got the almighty power
Glued up there with my pair of fuzzy dice

{Refrain - repeat between verses}
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations
We will travel every nation
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

I don't care if it rains or snowses
Long as I got my plastic Moses
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations
We will travel every nation
Me and plastic Moses will go far

I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I've got my plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car
You can buy Him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark, He's pink and pleasant
Take Him with you when you're travelling far

I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I have magnetic Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel I'm protected amply
I've got the whole damn holy family
Riding on the dashboard of my car

You can buy a sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
'Cause I've got my virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell

I don't care what they say, I'm gonna
Keep on prayin' to that pink Madonna
Melted to the dashboard of my car
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell

I don't care if it bumps or jostles
Long as I got the twelve apostles
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
Don't I have a pious mess
Such a crowd of holiness
Strung across the dashboard of my car

When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who's boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town
Trying to run them down
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning

{As refrain}
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far

God made Christ a holy Jew
God made Him a Christian too
Paradoxes populate my car
Joseph beams with a feigned elan
From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
Famous cuckold in the master plan

Naughty Mary, smug and smiling
Jesus dainty and beguiling
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
His message clear by night or day
My phosphorescent plastic gay
Simpering from the dashboard of my van

{As refrain}
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

When I'm goin' fornicatin'
I got my ceramic Satan
Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago motor home
The women know I'm on the level
Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil
Ridin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago motor home
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my Winnebago motor home
Leering from the dashboard of my van

I don't care if I'm broke or starvin'
As long as I've got a fish named Darwin
Glued to the trunk lid of my car
God, I'm feeling so evolved
Drivin' with my problems solved
Proclaiming what I think of what we are

Riding home one foggy night
With my honey cuddled tight
I missed a curve and off the road we veered
My windshield got smashed-up good
And my darling graced the hood
Plastic Jesus, He had disappeared

{As Refrain}
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus,
No longer chides me with His holy grin
Doctors in the X-ray room
Found Him in my darling's womb
Someday, He'll be born again!

I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
He's the dude with the rusty nails
Walks on water, don't need no sails
Riding on the dashboard of me car

I don't care if the night is scary
As long as I got the virgin Mary
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car
She don't slip and she don't slide
'Cause her ass is magnetized
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car.

TGScott
August 6, 2007 10:39 AM

As a Christian myself, I'm turned off by all the "Jesus junk" too. I get the impression that the people who purchase and wear it think the Holy Spirit is just going to rub off on them somehow. Maybe it's all about how they want to be perceived. I don't know. I've always said Christians aren't perfect people--only redeemed. We're all cracked vessels in some form or fashion. You know what I call people that think they're perfect? D-e-l-u-s-i-o-n-a-l. I would rather a person wear their faith humbly, acknowledge their shortcomings, and just be real. That's what would draw more people to Christ that all of this fake stuff.

Read All Comments

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.



Please type the text you see in the box below to verify your post and help us prevent spam. You have a limited time to type - you may wish to compose your comment in a separate document and paste it here upon completion.

Type the characters you see in the picture above.

Advertisement

Search This Blog

About Crunchy Con

Rod Dreher is an editorial columnist for the Dallas Morning News, and author of "Crunchy Cons" (Crown Forum), a nonfiction book about conservatives, most of them religious, whose faith and political convictions sometimes put them at odds with mainstream conservatives. The views expressed in this blog are his own.

feed icon Subscribe

RSS Feed

Receive updates from Crunchy Con

Advertisement

Advertisement


About Beliefnet

Our mission is to help people like you find, and walk, a spiritual path that will bring comfort, hope, clarity, strength, and happiness. More about Beliefnet.

Legal

Copyright © Beliefnet, Inc. and/or its licensors. All rights reserved. Use of this site is subject to Terms of Service and to our Privacy Policy. Constructed by Beliefnet.

Advertisement

Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.