Ah, the day before Thanksgiving. Time to settle back, put the finishing touches on your menu plans, and begin preparing some of the desserts or baked goods for tomorrow's feast.
Unless, of course, you're buying the whole thing pre-made.
Don't get me wrong, here: there's nothing wrong with deciding to buy some, if not all, of your Thanksgiving meal. Not all cooks are equal; not all years are the same. I recall a Thanksgiving week when my mom, expecting baby number eight, started doing a lot of cooking early, for no apparent reason; towards evening she called the hospital and told the sympathetic nurse in the obstetric ward that she wasn't having contractions, or anything, but just had the oddest feeling she ought to go ahead and go to the hospital.
"Is this your first, dear?" the nurse asked kindly.
"No, this is number eight," replied my mother.
There was a pause, and then the nurse's voice, tinged with sudden alarm, said, "Come right in." My baby sister was born an hour later, a new blessing for which my family could give thanks.
None of us would have blamed Mom for taking some cooking shortcuts that year, and I don't blame anyone for choosing to order a pre-made Thanksgiving meal from time to time. But this part of the news report is a little concerning:
In the deli department, Paul Corey said his team has been slammed the past few days, putting together fully-cooked, boxed, almost-ready-to-eat Thanksgiving dinners."The first few years we did it, we sold, I would say a few, the 20 to 30 range. We're now up to around 200 and growing," Corey said. That's up 30 percent over last year.
For $89 you will get you a turkey and all the trimmings, nearly ready for your Thanksgiving table. Corey thinks it's a trend that will continue to grow.
"More and more people are working. They're working hard. You have families where both, everyone's working. They don't have the preparation time they used to have," Corey added.
Buying a pre-made Thanksgiving dinner because it's the most prudent option, for circumstances like the arrival of a baby, an illness or recent death in the family, a move planned for the week of the holiday, unavoidable travel and so on is one thing. But buying a pre-made Thanksgiving meal because the demands of work and school have encompassed so much of your life that you don't have time to do the cooking you'd actually like to do is another. Picking up Thanksgiving dinner on the way home from the office may be a time-saver, but the cost to some aspects of family tradition can border on the tragic. Who will teach the younger generations to make great-grandmother's famous dressing? Who will take Uncle Bob's turkey rub and improve on it a little with the addition of some Cajun spices? Who will keep the kids occupied with hand-turkey drawing and out-loud stories of the first Thanksgiving while mom finishes making a batch of her family-renowned secret-recipe cranberry sauce?
The truth is, Thanksgiving traditions are about a lot more than sitting down and eating a meal. Sadly, that in itself is becoming so rare for so many families that the strain of having to cook the meal in addition seems like too much to ask for.
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Erin:
You realize there's a much bigger issue here.
I don't "cook," in the classic sense you are talking about, at all. I do "food preparation."
And that, in turn, gets to people being too busy in general in our very non-"crunchy" age. (Also, in my case, the fact I've lived alone much of my own life, and it's very difficult to cook well for one without so many leftovers that some will eventually spoil.)
PS -- To do Thanksgiving in the way you are suggesting, you really have to start the night before. How many people have that energy after working a full day, even if they have already done their shopping?
The radical idea here is to stop playing the work/achievement game and make the time to actually live your life. I was a classic workaholic for 10 yrs, striving to achieve, get promoted, etc. The money was not as interesting as the accomplishment and the security, but my values were heavy on "If I had time, I'd like to do ...." and very short on any other personal initiatives. In other words, my aspirations were noble, but that was about it. Of course, there was much else that I was running from as part of the dynamic, but I felt so "good" knowing that I was working so hard and getting those attaboys from my bosses, my co-workers and even my family for a while.
I thank God every day that I now make less money, have a lesser position, and have time on my hands to actually do some of the "if I had time" items on my list. One of which is cooking healthy meals for myself. There is a satisfaction I find in the meditative time I get to spend cooking, and a nurturing self-care/partner care that is very fulfilling. I have subsequently found that regular exercise (something I never felt I had time for --- read: would make time for) works the same way. There is a certain peace of mind knowing that I'm taking care of this body (and a thrill that I can run 5 miles easily any time I want, something I would not have been able to feel even in college).
Here's a different take: I do live life. I stay home, raise my children, don't homeschool so I have time during the day to...be. I paint, I read, I volunteer, I work out, I go to daily mass. Plus I do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, housekeeping, gift-buying, schedule-keeping, you get the picture. But when it comes to big dinners like Thanksgiving, I order in. First of all, the cost is, depending on where I get it, exactly the same, a little bit more or a little bit less. No major difference, except my time, which is worth something. Cooking everyday is drudgery enough; why be completely over-wrought and exhausted when you're expecting a houseful of guests and relatives who want to actually spend time and visit with you?
My own big-dinner cooking leaves no time for that. I think it's actually crunchier to hire out the cooking and sit and talk, reminisce, play the piano and have a sing-along, play cards, etc. then worry about getting the potatoes and meat out at the same time at the right temperature.
One of the real joys of our Thanksgiving is the fact that we spend that day having nothing whatever to do with our family as we can barely stand them under the best of circumstances. This means that a full turkey dinner for two people is rather, well, absurd, so we have steak and shrimp.
I have gotten a turkey dinner (usually just the turkey, stuffing and gravy - because it was included), and I make my own stuffing and pumpkin pie. I also like to make or buy candied yams. It's been just me and my boyfriend for 4 years, and previously it was me and my husband. I don't have kids, and before I moved out on my own, I'd go with my parents to my grandmother's. She did cook the whole feast herself. It wasn't super fancy, but it was a day where we all (though it was only about 6 people, give or take) could hang out and talk, while she cooked. She loved doing it. My mom made a turkey once in a while, but since we all would go there for the holidays, it wasn't often. Once I moved out, I moved AWAY, to another state, so no more going home for holidays. Years have passed and now that I'm 30, I still have never made a turkey. I've never had the reason to make one for anyone other than myself and my boyfriend, and I am a full time student, so I don't have time to do it. I would like to learn how and try it one year in the future so that when I ever have kids, I can do all that cooking and preparing, but that's not now.
I don't criticize anyone for buying a pre-made meal. It's not here the food came from (or even WHAT the food is, though I love the food for Thanksgiving), it's getting together and having dinner together. Even though I can't spend the money to get with family far away, I am being with those I can, and eating a traditional meal. That's a tradition in itself, not who cooked it (and who stressed over it, and who spent more time in the kitchen than visiting with people).
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