I spent much of this Christmas sleeping off this massive cold, punctuated by periods of emergency rehydration after ingesting morsels of the Ham That Ruined Christmas. Diana Krall failed to drop by, or even call. I'm going back to bed. Bah. Humbug.
"What is it with men?" says Herself. "You get sick with the most trifling thing, and suddenly it's the end of the world. Try giving childbirth sometime."
Humph. What does she know? She dosed me with something "homeopathic" earlier tonight. My view on how to handle a cold is best described as "better living through chemistry," or more precisely, "shock and awe." Basically, if left to my own devices, I'd buy Sudafed in quantities that would probably identify me to the authorities as a meth cooker. And I would ingest them like children eat Skittles. But see, it's not up to me. There is She Who Must Be Obeyed, who believes, falsely, that dosage instructions are to be observed faithfully; I, however, understand them to be rules for the timid. I have never given birth to children, naturellement, but I can say without fear of contradiction that it barely compares to this grotesque head cold.
(Ducking and covering...)
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Rod, irrigate your sinuses. It will help immensely to give you some relief. Find a squirt bottle that will hold 6-8 ounces of warm water. Add 1/2 tsp. of salt and 1/4 tsp. of baking soda. Go get a paper towel and go to the bathroom basin. A wimpy, little tissue won't cut it here. Now, lean your head over the basin, breathe through your mouth, and then gently squirt the warm solution up one nostril and then the other. Blow your nose in between, of course. It's not pleasant, but it doesn't hurt either. It's kind of like the way your nose feels after you jump into a swimming pool, but it will surely clean your noggin out.
My husband says I practice "Granny Clampett medicine." To that I say, "whatever works."
Well, no wonder your head hurts -- the shower curtain rod and the shower head (that's what they look to be, anyway) are both rammed through it (Note background). ;)
That said, hope you're all feeling better.
Is your wife aware of your love for this other woman, Rod? Has it caused her heartaches when she (shurely) reads your many blog postings that highlight your desire for this other woman? Could it be considered an internet affair?
Hope your cold went awy, but I'd watch that drug dependency ;{O)
You should DEF put that shot on the back cover of your next book.
Sambucol is a great remedy for viral infections. We use it at the first signs of a cold and symptoms are either greatly reduced or gone after two days. NAYY, just a very satisfied user.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holydays.
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