The House Without a Christmas Meat

Well, you are in Texas, so you raised the right solution.

The key words: Lima beans, followed by CORN BREAD.

Lots of water. Embrace the Southern Soup.

God bless the internet:

http://www.mania.com/DarkJedi/video/752.html

Take about two cups of the ham, diced. Add it to approximately 8-10 cups of cold water and 2 cups organic dried split peas. (You can use regular, but I've had the best results with the ones Central Market sells.) Bring the water to a boil, reduce the heat, and simmer for an hour. Then add a couple stalks of celery, diced, about two cups of washed baby carrots (I leave them whole, but you can cut them), 2 cloves of minced garlic, and a bit of pepper (no salt should be necessary, given the kind of ham you're working with); I also add about a teaspoon of liquid smoke (mesquite flavor). Simmer it for another hour, adding a little extra water if it thickens too much.

Of course, if you're like some of my relatives and *hate* split pea soup, this won't help much. :)

What's salt to a hog?

You could try simmering it in a bath of water, sugar, limes and lemons. The sugar counteracts the salt, the limes and lemons tone down the sugar.

In the good ol' days, they used 7-up.

It's SUPPOSED to be so salty that you need to drink your weight in water after a sandwich-sized serving. No such thing as too salty.

(Eyes rolling.) Yankees. Sigh.

Actually, my father is Bubba. I would be Little Bubba.

Your post made me laugh because I was just having a great ham debate with one of my students a couple of weeks ago. I'm a Virginian who, thanks to the vagaries of academic life, teaches religion at a college in Iowa. I was expressing my desire to get back to Virginia, as well as my incredulity that a state known for its pork products hasn't figured out how to cure nor smoke pork. A very polite Iowa farm boy and I then had a theological throwdown on brining vs. dry curing, as well as corn-fed vs. peanut-fed. I maintain that the ham should be as salty as possible, and not slimy, as the Iowans seem to insist. I'm coming back from Christmas break with half a Red Eye for a bit of a ham-off.

For the record, try soaking longer and use something like ginger ale. Also, Red Eye is less salty than Smithfield. Try that before giving up and going the ... shudder ... honey-baked route.

For the ham you have now, throw it in a cast iron skillet with about a quarter inch of water when you fry it. That'll ease your pain a bit.

Also, serve it sliced on small dinner rolls, the sweetness of which will cut the saltiness more than the typical biscuit.

Pork - the meat of the beast that Jesus cast the demons into. No wonder it gets such a bad rep. Try some tofu, it'll help your karma.

Will,

Well Legion did ask. I mean even Jesus wouldn't deny the fallen some nice bacon.

Well pork is not necessarily environmentally unfriendly. Virtually all our meat today is, but that is just the way we raise it.

For a good exposition of factory raised meat (including pork) vs. how it can be raised in another context, check out Michael Pollan's "The omnivore's dilemma"

I was never much on ham before trying a ham from Ham I Am. We have had the pepper crusted ham for years and it gets great comments. It is not complete without their Hogwash sauce. The ham price compares to honey baked, or it used to, I have not had honey baked in years.

Ditto what Franklin Jennings said. It takes longer than eight hours! And you have to change the water out completely every once in a while. Maybe not as often as every six hours, and you could probably get away with a day and a half or so of soaking, but still. Salt-cured Smithfield Ham is the ONLY ham. That namby-pamby honey cured stuff is for the birds. Ham should NOT be SWEET. It is a travesty.

But then I lived for a number of years next county over from Smithfield, VA. General store down the street where Mom used to send us for bread and whatnot (with a jar full of small change, how embarrassing!) would sell you a sandwich made with Smithfield Ham, sliced thin, with a hunk of cheese fresh from a no-kidding cheesewheel on a wooden block. I have never tasted its equal.

Better luck next year. ;)