Ye dragons and all deeps
Monday December 3, 2007
Categories: Varia
Because I am a fool, but not an idiot, I think I shall post this description of a particularly horrible form of conjugal relations among extremely deep sea life without comment: To understand the full extent of the constraints that...
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About Crunchy Con
Rod Dreher is an editorial columnist for the Dallas Morning News, and author of "Crunchy Cons" (Crown Forum), a nonfiction book about conservatives, most of them religious, whose faith and political convictions sometimes put them at odds with mainstream conservatives. The views expressed in this blog are his own.
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He likes it. She likes it. Whom else do we have to consult?
sounds like a nightmare scene from a philip roth novel.
let's see...
first there's the Venezuelan Sex Mo-sheen...
and now...
Maude and her Deep Sea Killer Sex...
hmmmm...
do we have a running theme tonight?
...
sex faith hope love joy peace to all...
C'mon, Rod, I know you hated the liberal feminism of "Maude," but picking on Bea Arthur is REALLY low-hanging fruit ...
Perhaps conservative fellas would find the sex life of the giant squid more appealing. Check out cephalopodcenterfold.blogspot.com/2007/04/giant-squid-sex-unsavory.html for a more complete rundown. A few savory quotes:
Cephalopod sex does seem to leave something to be desired as it often involves the male jamming sperm packets into the tentacles or orifices of female cephalopods. . . . Apparently male squid often make "wounds" on female squid and then stick in their sperm packet (Unlike other cephalopods who have modified arms to pass their sperm packets to the ladies). How are these wounds on the female tentacles made? Well, the male squid "may use their beak or the sharp scythe-like hooks found on the tentacles and/or arms." Then they have a "long muscular penis" they use to pass the spermatophores into the wounds.
But wait--there's more. Scientists found a giant squid who appeared to have abandoned the simple, natural, god-ordained purpose of squid sex to besmirch himself with unnatural acts. D'OH!!
This male had spermatophores embedded in several of his arms and the mantle. He may have accidentally injected himself, or another male might have done it.
And according the New York Times, October 18 1994, even the modest octopus is suspect.
Scientists surveying a hydrothermal vent about 10,000 feet deep, on the ocean floor 1,000 miles west of Guatemala, report having come across two male octopuses of different species having sex.
"It raises all sorts of questions about what is going on down there," said Janet Voight, an assistant curator of invertebrates at Chicago's Field Museum of Natural History.
Generally speaking, however, the sex life of the octopus is much more edifying.
Females remain with the eggs until hatching, and then die soon after.
If only the good Lord had seen fit to implement a similarly sensible program with humans, you can bet we would not be seeing a decline in applications to orders of nuns.
Yes, it's too early in the morning, but I do love cephalopods.
Clingy, extremely dependent, and with self-annihilation issues? I think I dated one of these in college...
God'll get you for that, Rodder ;)
Intrinsically disordered
"Clingy, extremely dependent, and with self-annihilation issues? I think I dated one of these in college..."
Allen--I'm truly glad I didn't have my coffee handy. First degree burns on the nasal membranes are no fun.
Foreseen by the prophet Jeremiah:
....For the LORD has created a new thing in the earth—
A woman will encompass a man
--Jer 31:22b, rather out of context..
No, no, John E. That's OBJECTIVELY disordered. OBJECTIVELY is the magic word. I still don't know what the heck it means, but I know Schadenfreude, Senator, and you're no Schadenfreude. ; )
Actually, Rod, this fish played a significant supporting role in the movie Finding Nemo.
If you have a DVD, watch the credits at the end (which are funny anyway). At the very end, after the credits are over, this female fish gets its comeuppance.
Intrinsic! Objective!
Intrinsic! Objective!
Let's call the whole thing off!!!
(Ohhh show tunes!)
The fish is lucky, at least he gets to keep his testicles.
For what it is worth, the article on these beauties at Wikipedia disputes this story:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_seadevil
Under the life history sub-heading, it is argued that the male is actually not parasitic. The usual cavaets about Wikipedia apply, but maybe this story is more theory than fact.
I love this stuff--the dinosaur petrified with scales, the weird fish, the Chinese fleet that sailed the world before Columbus, the early domestication of the cat.
Excuse me, I'm going home to bite my wife. Perhaps she'll absorb me. It probably beats working.
All my sorrows, soon be over.
The Lord works in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform. Why do you suppose he designed procreation this way for the Maude fishes and cephalopods?
Speaking of procreation, I'd be really interested in Rod's comments, and the ensuing discussion, on the "sperm donor must pay child support" situation that's in the news right now.
Mrs. Pringle
Yuck!
I am soooo glad we don't reproduce like this!
Histor
Mrs. Pringle: I read about this case, but not in enough detail to know the low-down nitty gritty. The women involved should be ashamed of themselves and/or must be desperate in some way. The story as reported makes the doctor appear to have acted in good faith and very generously.
Eeww the sex lives of breeders is gross.
"The first time that a male black seadevil meets his much larger mate, he bites her and never lets go. Over time...he becomes a fetus-like dependent...The cost of this utter dependence is a loss of function in all of his organs except his testicles...When she has had her way with him, the male seadevil simply vanishes...."
Reminds me of the historic relationship between Socialist/Totalitarian States and homosexuals in Hitler's Germany, the U. S. S. R., Islamist States and Cuber.
Seadevils never seem to learn; must be an intrinsically objective disorder.
Seadevils are as God made them . . . unless one believes in evolution, of course.
2nd try at this comment:
"Seadevils are as God made them . . . unless one believes in evolution, of course." Sig
God did not make seadevils, concupiscence of the flesh did. God allowed concupiscence as a result of our original disobedience.
If I were to give in to my concupiscence, as seadevils do to theirs, I would go in search of Pamela Anderson.
Whaa . . . fish have concupiscence now? Is there a reference for that in the Catechism of the Catholic Church?? And is there some thought as to how reproduction among fish would have worked without the Fall of Man? Was there a Divine Universal Plan for that? I honestly hesitate to even ask, because I cannot see how the answers can be anything less than . . . well, incredible. And contrary to what you may think, Cleveland, I don't really enjoy seeing either you or the Catholic Church made to look foolish.
Maybe that's why there was so much Japanese expostulation to your earlier comment! A web god somewhere in the luminiferous aether is trying to save you from yourself!
sig,
I assume Cleveland meant that post humorously.
Obviously the Catholic Church does not believe or teach that "fish have concupiscence" or that the Fall of Man changed the means of procreation, either for human beings or animals.
FWIW, the Catholic nuptial blessing describes married life as "the one blessing that was not forfeited by original sin or washed away in the flood."
God did not make seadevils, concupiscence of the flesh did. God allowed concupiscence as a result of our original disobedience.
That's a joke, right? Ha-ha. But seriously, how would a Creationist* explain the mating facts of seadevil life? Not that I necessarily expect anyone to explain why God did/does things, but I am curious as to how Creationists approach this kind of thing.
* I think this term might be politically loaded, and if so, I apologize. I truly only mean it to mean someone who believes the Biblical explanation of how life came to be on earth.
Mrs. Pringle
"sig, I assume Cleveland meant that post humorously." Simon
Simon, Sig was employing her superior intellect in playing a humorous game--kinda like two-level chess. She is delicately snipping at me concerning the question of whether God or evolution made homosexuals as they are, continuing my earlier analogy of seadevils as homosexuals in the political realm, but feigning ignorance (to the board) of the game. This game started when I said at 7:33 PM on the 4th:
"[Rod's seadevil post] Reminds me of the historic relationship between Socialist/Totalitarian States and homosexuals in Hitler's Germany, the U. S. S. R., Islamist States and Cuber.
Seadevils never seem to learn; must be an intrinsically objective disorder."
------------------------------------------
Mrs. Pringel, do you still tingle at the jingle of Kris Kringel, or now mingle with the single-minded atheist crowd? If the latter, I wish you a happy solstice.
"So God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm [including seadevils], according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good."
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