The whitest man in the world
Monday January 21, 2008
Categories: Republicans
Oh dear sweet lord, Uber-Yankee Mitt Romney demonstrates that he's got no Elvis in him. On behalf of all white people, I tuck my chin in, bite my finger and laugh through my nose, hoping not to be noticed. This...
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About Crunchy Con
Rod Dreher is an editorial columnist for the Dallas Morning News, and author of "Crunchy Cons" (Crown Forum), a nonfiction book about conservatives, most of them religious, whose faith and political convictions sometimes put them at odds with mainstream conservatives. The views expressed in this blog are his own.
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"Sad", my chinless friend? More like excruciating.
All he needs is a name badge inscribed with "Elder Romney."
Damn, that is one White Man. "Wassup, Dude!
Damn, that is one White Man; "Dude, wassup? Mah niggah!" Like such pandering is going to get him ANY votes.
Night night Mitten.
Pleeeeeease don't make Mitt THE Uber-Yankee! He's from Michigan. A Hah-vd transplant.
Mitt has always been famously stiff-ly painfully white bread - even with the equally white bread NH crowd.
Tom Tom Ber-ger-on (from Dancing with the Staaaaars) is an Uber Yankee. As is Conan O'Brien, and Mr. Jay Leno. Even Marky-mark. But not Mitt.
I'm not sure which is worse, that Romney actually did it or that so many folks commented positively about it over in that blog.
Compare this to the reaction on Fox when Hillary Clinton was tagged with talking like a Southerner during one of her earlier speeches. I wonder if Faux News will be equally as hard on Romney.
Probably not, since he is their candidate of choice.
It would be funny ... if it wasn't so painfully patronizing.
Meanwhile, in the Democratic debate tonight, Obama was given a question centered around the Toni Morrison quote and asked whether *he* thinks Bill Clinton was our first black president.
Part of Obama's answer? "I have to say that, you know, I would have to, you know, investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities...You know, and some of this other stuff before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother." (per the CNN transcript)
As for the Romney vid.--good grief. I couldn't even watch all of it.
Considering that Elvis is on Mars laughing his sequins off...
Next time, his handlers plan to just put a sign around his neck that reads, "Please humor me, I am uncomfortable around Negroes."
Mitt Romney, the Michael J. Fox of the new millennium.
Wow... "Who let the dogs out?" then something about "bling bling"
Maybe he should have sagged his pants and wore his hat backwards. All Black people do that, right, (homey)?
If the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, then it's safe to say Mitt's heart is in the right place when it comes to race.
My brother's ex-father in law, a fundamentalist minister, did this once, going "What's up, bro?" and doing what he probably thought was some kind of hip-hop hand gesture to a young black man visiting his church. I cringed for him, and the poor young man. As with Mitt, the minister was usually a reserved fellow and white enough to give albinos pause.
But, really--just address people the way you always do. Don't talk up or down--just talk. Otherwise, you're insulting those you are speaking to and making a first class horse's a** of yourself at the same time.
Rod: "Don't call the guy Mitt anymore; his name is Hoppy (look it up, Lamont)."
I just did, 'Pop' -
Fans of 'Sanford and Son' may remember the cop whose pompously chummy "brother-man" malapropisms made him seem for all the world like the triangulated love child of Ted Baxter, Norm Crosby and the Revd W.A. Spooner:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sanford_and_Son#Other_characters
"Smitty and Hoppy are a pair of police officers who occasionally show up at the Sanfords' residence. One officer was black, Officer 'Smitty' Smith (played by Hal Williams), and one white, Officer 'Hoppy' Hopkins (played by Howard Platt). Often, Hoppy would incorrectly use slang, which Smitty would correct (e.g., 'cold' instead of 'cool' or 'torn off' instead of 'ripped off'). Conversely, the ever-professional Hoppy would deliver a speech filled with police jargon and big words, which would confound Fred and/or Lamont. Smitty would then step in and simplify it for them in a more 'ghetto' manner. Later in the series's run, the two officers would more frequently appear individually -- usually 'Hoppy' at first, and usually 'Smitty' toward the end of the run. Ironically enough, unlike Ah Chew and Julio, Hoppy was the only non African-American character on the show who remained free of Fred's usual insults."
One other Sanfordist vignette is among my favorites, aping a veteran usage between my best friend and I:
Lamont: Pop, I'm really proud of you -
Fred: Oh, Son, come on now -
Lamont: No, Pop, I mean it.
Fred: I know - I mean, tell me more!
Rod, I've got bad news and bad news for you.
The bad news is that you've blown any semblance of political savy or credibility on this board with your two, non-con weirdo picks, Paul and then Arkansas Slick.
The bad news is that you will have Mitt as your President for eight years, and I ain't no ways tired of reminding you of it! :)
HI AND I THOUGHT THAT MICHAEL JACKSON WAS THE WHITEST PERSON ON EARTH CAUSE HE REALLY LOOKS WHITE RIGHT NOW!!! I GUESS I WAS WRONG!! HA HA HA!!!! AT LEAST I THINK I AM!!
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