Crunchy Con

A Canterbury tale

Wednesday February 13, 2008

Categories: Decline and fall

The inimitable Iowahawk apologizes to Chaucer, but goes after the Archbishop of Canterbury with gleeful abandon. Here's how it begins:

Heere Bigynneth the Tale of the Asse-Hatte.

1 Whan in Februar, withe hise global warmynge

2 Midst unseasonabyl rain and stormynge

3 Gaia in hyr heat encourages

4 Englande folke to goon pilgrimages.

5 Frome everiches farme and shire

6 Frome London Towne and Lancanshire

7 The pilgryms toward Canterbury wended

8 Wyth fyve weke holiday leave extended

9 In hybryd Prius and Subaru

10 Off the Boughton Bypasse, east on M2.

11 Fouer and Twyntie theye came to seke
12 The Arche-Bishop, wyse and meke

13 Labouryte and hippye, Gaye and Greene

14 Anti-warre and libertyne

15 All sondry folke urbayne and progressyve

16 Vexed by Musselmans aggressyve.

17 Hie and thither to the Arche-Bishop's manse

18 The pilgryms ryde and fynde perchance

19 The hooly Bishop takynge tea

20 Whilste watching himselfe on BBC.

It goes on like this for 61 more verses, and gets funnier and funnier. Absolutely brilliant satire! (Though in parts a tad too ribald for this blog's audience). This, I believe, is the final word on the ridiculous Rowan mess (which of course won't stop me from blogging on the thing until the eschaton is immanentized).

Filed Under: Archbishop of Canterbury, Canterbury tales, Iowahawk

Comments

LOL.

Rod, thank you! I haven't laughed this hard in weeks, and I'm only up to line 10.

Ahh, a stroke of genius.

Whether you agree with him or not, that's one funny parody.

I happen to agree, mostly...

Hysterical, and masterfully written. Well done!

Hysterical, and all too true. BTW, I read the lengthy article Spengler alluded to on the thread below -- Paul Berman's New Republic Online piece about Tariq Ramadan. It's long but well worth reading all the way too the end.

One wonders whether people like Rowan Williams and Western jouranlists would have granted the same deference to Mussolini's grandson, Stalin's grandson, or Franco's grandson, particularly if those hypothetical individuals were speaking up in favor of their grandpa's legacy in similar fashion to the way that Ramadan speaks up for Hassan al-Banna.

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About Crunchy Con

Rod Dreher is an editorial columnist for the Dallas Morning News, and author of "Crunchy Cons" (Crown Forum), a nonfiction book about conservatives, most of them religious, whose faith and political convictions sometimes put them at odds with mainstream conservatives. The views expressed in this blog are his own.

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