A Canterbury tale

The inimitable Iowahawk apologizes to Chaucer, but goes after the Archbishop of Canterbury with gleeful abandon. Here's how it begins:

Heere Bigynneth the Tale of the Asse-Hatte.

1 Whan in Februar, withe hise global warmynge

2 Midst unseasonabyl rain and stormynge

3 Gaia in hyr heat encourages

4 Englande folke to goon pilgrimages.

5 Frome everiches farme and shire

6 Frome London Towne and Lancanshire

7 The pilgryms toward Canterbury wended

8 Wyth fyve weke holiday leave extended

9 In hybryd Prius and Subaru

10 Off the Boughton Bypasse, east on M2.

11 Fouer and Twyntie theye came to seke
12 The Arche-Bishop, wyse and meke

13 Labouryte and hippye, Gaye and Greene

14 Anti-warre and libertyne

15 All sondry folke urbayne and progressyve

16 Vexed by Musselmans aggressyve.

17 Hie and thither to the Arche-Bishop's manse

18 The pilgryms ryde and fynde perchance

19 The hooly Bishop takynge tea

20 Whilste watching himselfe on BBC.

It goes on like this for 61 more verses, and gets funnier and funnier. Absolutely brilliant satire! (Though in parts a tad too ribald for this blog's audience). This, I believe, is the final word on the ridiculous Rowan mess (which of course won't stop me from blogging on the thing until the eschaton is immanentized).