Kids hate clowns!

A little known theological point is that the original sin in the Garden of Eden wasn't actually the eating of the forbidden fruit. It was Eve gesturing suggestively at the tree and then pantomiming eating the fruit before plucking it.

Thou shalt not suffer a mime to live.

And now, Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey:

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've
wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went
to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.

If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, "Forgive me, but that's just too much."

Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.

Happiness is not a circus clown rolling around in a big tractor tire so that his arms and legs form "spokes." Happiness is when he stops.

When people say that the desert is lifeless, it just makes me want to grab them by the collar and yell, "Why you stupid, stupid bastard!" Then I drive them out into the desert to where the circus is, and point out the many forms of zebra and clown life.

Why is it that we will laugh at a man in a clown outfit, but we won't laugh at a man just walking down the street carrying a clown outfit in one of those plastic dry-cleaner bags?

I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown, and how the children would laugh and laugh at me. I vowed, then and there, that I would get revenge.

My high school had a mime troupe, the Mercy Mimes (as in Mercy High School). We students had to endure their performances at various school events, but they also used to go miming at the local nursing homes to perform Christian Service. I suppose Christian Service is in the eye of the beholder, but man did I feel sorry for the poor residents; they were really at the mercy of those damn mimes. Mime seems, to me, more about the mime's need for self-expression than for the enjoyment of those watching. Same goes for liturgical dance.

Amen Rod! Down with clowns!!!

I've always hated clowns, sports mascots (the ones in big suits), anyone in a Santa suit, and the like. I don't have nightmares about them or anything, I just don't want to be in the same room with them. I know why, too:: they're not required to respect one's personal space. When you're a kid, a clown or mascot will come right up and get in your face, maybe even touch you or pick you up, and everyone thinks it's big fun. Gawd, I always hated that.

Mimes don't do that, so I don't hate them; they're just stupid.

Your hatred of clowns is a mere weak penlight compared to my supernova of loathing for the "Oh Yeah!" KoolAid man. Every time he enters my line of sight I experience an acute desire for a loaded harpoon gun.

It is to my everlasting discredit that I didn't pick up a slice of cream pie or something and smack that damn mime in the face with it.

Credits toward Heaven, Rod. Credits toward Heaven.

The worst, the all time worst, is a Christian clown/mime magician. Emmett Kelly is the only clown I ever liked. The rest are the essence of creepy.