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Add to NewsvineI'm sorry, but you will never, ever convince me that femininity is socially constructed. Not after the 20 minutes I spent earlier this evening. I was sitting at the table talking to Julie when Nora, who is 17 months old, toddles over with a new shirt Julie bought her today.
She holds it out, and looks up at me expectantly. "Pretty?" ("Pwitty?")
I laughed. "Yes, Nora, very pretty!"
She sticks her right foot out and looks up at me. "Shoes?"
"Yes, Nora, you would look good with shoes."
"Daddy!" she said, then ran back to the shopping bag sitting by the front door. One by one, she takes each article of clothing -- shorts, dresses, every one of them -- out, runs back to me (and only me), holds the garment up and asks:
"Pretty?"
It was hilarious, actually. She had to "model" all her new clothes for Daddy, and get his approval. Sweetest thing. Needless to say, her brothers never did anything like that. I'm really beginning to understand what Daniel, B.D. Rucker and some others of you were telling me not long ago about the special relationship daughters have with their fathers.
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My sister was a country-girl tomboy. She was a cheerleader, a high school athlete, a homecoming queen and a deer hunter. She's now the mother of three girls, aged 14 to 5. I talked to her today and told her about Nora's fashion show last night. She laughed, and said, "Oh, just you wait. It's just starting."
As regular readers know, Julie and I have two boys as well. Nora is our youngest, and it's so interesting watching the differences between her and the boys. She is far more precise and "girly" in her movements than the boys were at that age. She loves clothes and purses and all that stuff. Yet she also loves to roughhouse with her brothers. And by some freak of nature, she also likes to -- wait for it -- clean up messes! Ain't no male person in my household ever done that by nature, and that includes Your Working Boy!
Posted by: Rod Dreher | March 27, 2008 5:05 PM
I must have had a freakish childhood in the 1940's. When our mother took us, myself and my one year older brother, shopping for necessary clothing, we always modeled it for Papa. Mama wanted his approval for her worthwhile use of his slim earnings and we children, boy and girl, used the opportunity, as she taught us, to thank Papa for what he had provided. He approved how we looked in the new clothes according to our genders and Mama was gratified that he had approved her choices and budget management. A different world.
Posted by: Caroline | March 27, 2008 5:24 PM
Hmm, I'm noticing a bunch of tom boy comments. What about affectionate boys?
My younger brothers are 9 and 15 years younger than me. When John was three he found a baby doll, diaper bag and stroller. He dressed up the doll and took her for a jog down the street in the stroller. Six years later when Adam was three he found another baby doll, same diaper bag and stroller and did the same thing. Yes, they could make a gun out of anything and sang about explosions and gun fire, but today we can still count on them to play with and take care of their neices and nephews.
I believe many qualities are inborn - I want to make sure to emphasize the positive ones in my children.
Posted by: Sarah in AK | March 27, 2008 7:26 PM
Aw...I remember when Rod did the birth announcement here on the blog, and now she's already talking and walking! When did that happen?
God bless!
Posted by: Joey | March 27, 2008 9:38 PM
Nora is my mother's name. I've never met any other Noras! Cute :-)
Posted by: Sarah in Maryland | March 28, 2008 9:10 AM
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