Dilbert creator Scott Adams has some advice for people wanting to start their own successful Doomsday cult.
I tell you this: if you want to join my Doomsday cult, you'd better be prepared to move to our mountain redoubt in the Shenandoahs. You have to be prepared to drink Bourbon, red wine and dirty vodka martinis, spend a lot of time reading and talking about books, be enamored of ancient Christian rituals, and know how to cook (or, failing that, how to eat, dammit).
If you know how to play Bach on a cello, you will be given a special room and an extra ration of Knob Creek, as well as a shotgun. If you recruit Emmylou Harris and/or Diana Krall for the cult, I'll resign and make you the leader, because you are surely divinely graced beyond all telling.
No Dr Pepper! Anybody who brings Dr Pepper will be shot on sight as a spy for the Antichrist.
What it would be like for you and your followers in your Doomsday cult?
(H/T: Patrick at Andrew's blog)
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Scott Lahti, could you please learn how to write?
I will rule the Wasteland:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TL4XZdyo3g
Ne'mind my Doomsday cult. I want to join Rod's. If I enjoy the sound of someone else playing Bach on the cello, instead of playing it myself, do I still receive the shotgun? I can be your slightly off-balance Canadian cult member who sits on the front porch of the manor in a rocker with the gun on my lap, keeping watch for outsiders with Dr. Pepper.
The Large Hadron Collider is a particle accelerator in Switzerland. Its goal is to recreate the conditions from just after the Big Bang. Scientists hope to (re)create something referred to as "the God Particle."
There's apparently a possibility that a small black hole could develop. And maybe that we couldn't get rid of it, on account of it would keep sucking up all the brooms and dustpans and Febreze.
Oh, and the collider is supposed to start running in, um, May. Which is when that cult said the end of the world would come.
One more reason to drink that bottle of wine you've been saving. Sorry, Rod, for giving you one more thing to worry about. How old is that red heifer, anyway?
O.K., I plugged in "Hadron Collider" in my Bible Code computer software program.
After a half hour the computer stopped calculating and printed out a page.
The page is from The Old Testament's Book of Numbers and mentioned something about saying goodby to the family's donkey(?). (I suppose in the days of The Old Testament many families had donkeys(?).
Here is the printout:
12th month............... 21st day.......... 2012
K................................................. ............................
...........................I...................... ..............................
..........S....................................... ............................
...................................S.............. ............................
Y....O....U.....R................................. .......................
.................................................. .............................
a.................S.............................s. .........................
G........................O........................ O.................D....................B.......... .....Y.........E.....E
I can't make it out? Anyhow, that's what it said.
.
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