[Erin] Just plane awful

Erin: "But I also know that the alarming and unprecedented rise of autism and autism-spectrum disorders ..."

Thanks, Erin. This is fascinating.

Does anyone here know what is causing this rise? Would appreciate any helpful links to websites or articles on this. Thanks in advance.

Reaganite- There is no good science on a cause yet, just some associations. My wife, who is much smarter than I am (first in her med school class) quit work to stay home with our son. He is an Aspie and she reads everything she can on this topic. Her current meta-analysis, is that there is probably an interactive component between the environment and some genetic component. Some is also probably a byproduct of being more aware and able to make the diagnosis. Some is probably overdiagnosis of otherwise normal kids who are odd in some way that a teacher may not tolerate well. The environmental factor she most especially favors at present is small family size. The diet stuff and vaccine stuff she regards as bunk. This all from the viewpoint of a bright, interested mother. She did research at a children's hospital in her younger days, but not in this specific area. This is an area of extreme controversy so just take anything anyone, including me, tells you with a big grain of salt.

Steve

No one knows the cause.

My father-in-law, now long dead, was an Aspie. As is his son (my husband), three of our four children, and one of our three grandchildren (so far).

I adore these people, in case you didn't notice. But life with these folks is....different.

I probably know more about Asperger's Syndrome than anyone living. And I will tell! Everyone feel free to ask questions.

Everyone has the right to fly (and to all other public services) unless other people are thereby endangered. A baby of two and a half is very unlikely to endanger anyone.

It's the flight attendant who was out of control here, not the baby.

How not surprising that anonymous, last post, dares not sign his/her name.

Let's put him/her with the baggage next time.

It's irrelevant for all practical purposes whether a troublesome child is autistic or just a brat. It's not even a safe situation for that kind of thing to be happening on the plane where everyone is trapped in a small inescapable place together, and the mother herself says the child was writhing around like crazy in his seat before he ended up on the floor throwing himself around. I just really doubt that a flight attendant would be coming over to check the child and continually tightening his belt if it at all appeared that the mother was herself attending to the situation properly.

As a mother of five, I can tell you that 2 1/2 year olds are unpredictable and are very likely to be frightened of the mere experience of being on a large, loud, moving machine. The child certainly doesn't have to be autistic or anything else.

The flight attendant obviously doesn't have children or any experience with them. People have become more and more unloving of children and less sympathetic with parents having a difficult time with them. Everyone reading this blog was once two and was once a holy terror. A sympathetic, "can I help you in any way?" completed with a smile would have probably diffused the entire situation in about 4 seconds. People around the flight attendant would have absorbed her calmness and sympathy.

I could go on, but I have to leave for work. I'm a charge nurse and diffuse about 40 charged situations a day. What if I acted like the stewardess....?

Matushka Anna

My oldest daughter seemed to have a touch of autism, especially at 2-1/2. She was prone to long, loud, intense meltdowns from seemingly innocuous triggers (a label in her shirt, pudding on her hands, the lights at the supermarket, the sound of a lawnmower). So, I made as much effort as possible not to put her in situations where she was guaranteed to freak out (the frozen foods aisle of the supermarket was our personal Armageddon). As I would guess the mother of this autistic child probably does. But you can't ALWAYS avoid situations.

(By the way, my daughter did outgrow most of her issues and is now a bright, sociable 8-year-old).

I do think the upsurge in autism/Aspbergers is threefold:

-- genetic component (i.e. Joe Nerdlinger meets Sue Geekmeister through their work as software developers, they marry and have two uber-geek children and one "black sheep" who is good at sports and can't write code).

-- environmental influence (my children are all a little quirky, and their quirkiness definitely increases exponentially if they eat a lot of junk food and/or watch more than a few minutes of TV -- it decreases dramatically if they are sent outdoors and commanded to stay outside and play until dinner time).

-- overzealous diagnosis by parents, doctors and schools.

-- This last one is completely anecdotal, but a friend and I were discussing the other day the number of people we know with kids who have either severe allergies or Aspberger's. And oddly enough, every single one of the moms were super tightly wound -- you know, the sort of people who are obsessive about schedules, cleanliness, order, etc.. Which led us to surmise that perhaps there is a connection -- either genetic (maybe two super-neat, super-compulsive parents are more likely to carry the autism genes?) or environmental (maybe what my grandma said was true, and kids *do* need to eat a pound of dirt before they're five in order to be healthy? -- our three compulsively clean friends do have children with lots of allergies).

There's always the chance that having a special needs child forces parents to be super-tightly-wound, but we knew several of the moms prior to having children and they were all pretty much like that even as childless folks. Who knows? I'd certainly like to think that my own daughter's semi-autistic tendencies were countered by my own aggressively laid-back style and slovenly habits... perhaps someone will do a study some day.

As a father of five, I will say this: yelling at a two-year-old, REGARDLESS of what condition he may or may not have, while the said two-year-old is having a tantrum is not going to accomplish much of anything. It's like trying to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

I speak from personal experience on that point.

Having said that, let's also add in the fact that airlines are trying to cut costs however they can. I'll bet $ 1.85 to a box of rocks that the flight attendant who was in on this particular scene was on a short-handed flight, probably called in at the last minute, or was under some other form of out-of-the-ordinary stress. Adults in those types of situations get short-tempered. Add to that the cattle-car setup most airline passengers "enjoy", and the end result is so predictable it just about pops up out of a slot.

Tired child, stressed-out passengers, stressed-out flight attendants, noisy flight conditions.....I'm glad I don't fly. The wonder is that this sort of thing doesn't happen more often. Next time I'm sure this family will consider buying train tickets.

Your servant,

Lord Karth

As the mother of an Aspie, I know all too well how difficult these situations are. It is so difficult to be fighting on two fronts: to calm one's over-stimulated child AND to cope with unsympathetic, aggressive, officious people. I try very hard not to let my child bother other people or make others the victims of her condition. However, sometimes one ends up in situations that are really hard to deal with, and one's own coping mechanisms can deteriorate when one is faced with hostility.

Given the high incidence of autism these days, I think a little training in dealing with Aspies and autistics for flight attendants, library staff, etc., would not go amiss. If they understood that soothing, rather than confronting and panicking them further, is helpful, perhaps that would ease these situations. Then I think parents also need to give these people a headsup that they have a special needs or disabled child, so staff have at least some idea of what they're dealing with. The most helpful, sympathetic people I have dealt with when my daughter has melted down in public have been supermarket employees, bless their hearts.

Have you ever tried sitting down with your children and beating their asses if they won't/can't behave? If this woman will not take control of the situation then she needs to get the hell off the plane. Clearly she is one of the parents who thinks everything in the world revolves around their right to spawn. In a world without the artifical protections imposed on us from these breeders he would have been eaten by bears.

Boy, are there some child haters on her or what? Not that I'm including wrymouth in that category, but the story doesn't say that the childs seatbelt was unbuckled. He just wasn't sitting still and the belt wasn't tight enough for the stewardess' satisfaction. Guess what? Mine usually isn't either.

I hate to fly. But I used to fly from Alaska to Missouri around twice a year back when the routes weren't as convenient as they are now. I still travel regularly for my job. My daughters have both travelled more before their 2 and half year mark than most of the people I work with. It's public transportation. Nobody enjoys sitting next to a kid causing problems. But I'd take a kid, an elderly person or an overwight person who needs some of my personal space way before I'd take a college student on their way too or from any sort of partying break. or a drunk in general.

i think the aircrew should have recieved more training. autism isnt exactly unheard of is it now? i don't know anything about autism but i am aware it can be difficult for the child suffering with it, and their parents or guardians. However i dont know the situation. Did the mother explain to the crew member that her child was autistic and did she tell anyone at the airport on check-in? If she had done that then maybe preparations could have been made - staff informed of the situation, etc. If she didnt tell, they cannot know, and they have to maintain order on aircraft. However if the airline and its crew WERE notified, then a serious investigation into the actions of the crew needs to be taken , and steps taken to ensure it doesnt happen again.