File this under "Reasons to Homeschool;" playground bullies are getting younger and younger:
Recess was Allie Long's favorite part of the day until the second grade, when some of her friends on the playground pressured her to join their whisper campaign against a classmate.Allie shrugged. She didn't want to hear their rumor or help spread it around. In an instant, her best friends since kindergarten became her tormenters.
"They started taunting and teasing her," said Allie's mom, Trudy Ludwig. "She was on this play structure and they blocked all of the exits and wouldn't let her off. They started moving closer to her. Allie just freaked out. One of the girls realized it was getting out of hand and got a teacher to help." [...]
"My daughter cried herself to sleep on and off for several months," Ludwig said. "She had stomachaches. The phone stopped ringing. No playdates. No invitations to sleepovers."
They were just 7 years old.
What child needs that kind of pressure at such a young age?
As a homeschooling mom, I sometimes get asked about socialization. Am I not worried, the questioner will ask, that my children will miss out on the unique sort of socialization that traditional schooling offers, even if I give them plenty of other opportunities to play with friends, cousins, and others in their age groups?
But the reality is that the "unique socialization" that schools provide is a very unnatural sort of socialization, considering the history of human interaction. At no other time in a person's life are they segregated from anyone except people whose ages run roughly six months ahead or behind their own, with few exceptions. And within these age-specific groups cliques and bully-culture form as naturally as mold on damp bread--the environment all but encourages it.
I'm not saying that schools can't control such behavior--but much of the time, schools' efforts seem ineffective, and parents end up frustrated and confused about why the child whose lashing-out is causing their child to come home daily with new bruises and greater emotional trauma isn't being punished or disciplined in some way for causing their child this level of suffering.
Homeschooling isn't the answer for everybody, of course. But if you're a parent whose child has been the target of school bullies, what was done about it? Were you pleased with the outcome? I'd love to hear that these problems are being better addressed than they were in the past--but stories like the one about little Allie Long make me suspect that this isn't the case.
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I read through all these comments, looking for practical advice that would help my kids & those I teach. It's disappointing how many comments were just "Yes, this is why school is EVIL and everyone should homeschool!!!!"
Well, my suggestion is? Stay involved. Care about what your kid does, and notice what's going on. School, home or otherwise, isn't a babysitting service.
** I read through all these comments, looking for practical advice that would help my kids & those I teach. It's disappointing how many comments were just "Yes, this is why school is EVIL and everyone should homeschool!!!!" **
Public schools are not evil, but I would wager that in most major cities, they are broken.
I will retract my earlier remark and say that anyone with young children right now IN DALLAS who doesn't have the money for an exclusive private school can tell you how hard it is to educate their children properly.
John in Dallas, I was about to post an objection to your prior post, but you just provided the clarification I would have asked for. Thank you.
Further, you'd win that wager with another clarification: in most major cities, some of the schools are broken.
In Philadelphia, we have some of both: broken schools, and schools that are unsurpassed by the best private schools in nearly every category.
My daughter had a similar--though much less traumatic--experience at a local playground, despite the fact that we homeschool too. I was so upset, I blogged about it.
I wish I could say that I had some sage advice other than "homeschool them." But I've searched the options. Nobody out there--aside from fellow homeschoolers--gives half a hoot about our beliefs enough to uphold them for us.
My concerns go a step further: my son has Asperger's, and we have had a large amount of success in controlling his symptoms by controlling his diet--no sugar, no gluten, no casein, etc. When I attempted to enroll him in an "at-risk" program at the local school district, I was told that they have a snack every day as part of the socialization process, and that it was integral to the program. I told them about his sensitivities...I was told that I could send a separate snack if I wanted to. OK, so explain this to me again: the snack exists because it helps engender healthy socialization, but my son won't be able to eat what they are eating???? And this is going to help him how????
I'm not trying to say that public schools are evil. There are plenty of reasons why they are the way they are. But I can't disagree with them at the most basic level and then expect them to defend my beliefs, or my child. Put another way: If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.
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